Umineko – Banquet of the Golden Witch – 10:30 AM to 11:00 AM

Last time, a new witch is crowned.

We get a new profile:

If there’s not crossover EVA-Umineko fanart out there fandom will have disappointed me.

Rosa and Eva have rejoined the group. No one is willing to take the first sleep shift. The sisters have some coded conversation that results in Rosa saying she won’t betray Eva while she lies down, so Eva and Hide head off. Everyone else is like wtf was that all about.

Suddenly Maria runs downstairs having a tantrum. The other kids and Nanjo follow. Oooh, this is the rose tantrum, I’d forgotten about that. Apparently Maria had been napping and woke up sobbing and demanding to see the rose.

Rosa starts freaking out and Nanjo is like, uh, maybe don’t scream at her and just give her some warm milk or something. Rudy’s like, yeah, there must be kid sedatives, right? And regardless of whether or not that was a joke, Rosa’s like, oh right I have a bunch here lemme drug her.

The bottle Rosa has is empty, though.

Over with Hide and Eva, he’s taking care of her. She’s so stressed out that she’s made herself ill.

Hide says he has some magic he’ll use to make her feel better, and he sits and holds her hand. Awww.

Eva says she thinks magic is real.

 “…When… I was a kid, the whole time, there was another me inside myself, who always supported me. And that other self was a witch. I didn’t believe in Beatrice, the witch of the forest. I always believed that if a witch of Rokkenjima did exist, it was the witch inside my heart. I was so grateful to that witch inside myself. I was always grateful… that she brought me to you…”

These two are OTP, seriously.

Eva says she’s afraid of losing herself. She’s afraid Bea’s magic will overpower her. Hide tells her he’d never let that happen. Eva finally drifts off to sleep.

Suddenly, they hear Maria and Rosa start shouting from down the hall. Hide is irritated, and goes to ask them to quiet down because Eva is so ill. He leans out into the hallway and tells Maria Eva is ill and needs some quiet, but it doesn’t matter.

Maria’s tone didn’t change after Hideyoshi’s request. Rosa slapped Maria’s cheek, lifted her up while covering her mouth, and dragged her towards the entrance, trying to at least put some distance between her and Hideyoshi’s room. 

Ah yes, slapping and dragging children, the sure way to stop tantrums.

Hide goes back to sit with Eva and says thank god George was such an easy child. She closes her eyes again.

Out in the hallway, Rosa is embarrassed and frustrated.

As Maria kept struggling in an attempt to scream, Rosa put her mouth up to Maria’s ear… and tried to persuade Maria in a properly calm voice.

I was about to say that I find this a lot more sympathetic, because even a good parent can struggle to deal with a difficult or disabled child, and sometimes even good people snap, but then Rosa’s way of “persuading is a calm voice” is to say, “…Why do you want to see it so much? I’ll listen as your mother, so will you tell me quietly? I’ll hit you if you scream.” So I think maybe Rosa just kind of sucks.

 “…Please, just be quiet… What can I do to make you stop crying? What should I do to make you listen to what your Mama says?”

Suddenly. Maria stopped crying so fast that it seemed unnatural. Then she turned around… and muttered.

She says she wants to see the rose, now, and does some evil cackling. If she does, she won’t have any more tantrums. Rosa agrees and they head out into the rain.

meta!Bat pops in to be angry that Rosa isn’t more genre savvy, and meta!Bea is like, yeah, they’re dead meat.

Back in the story, Maria happily finds her rose. Rosa is nervous and looking around quickly. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eyes, she sees… golden butterflies. Dun dun dun.

Back with Eva and Hide, Hide is getting worried, because Eva has a fever that isn’t going down. As they sit there, she sweats profusely and her breathing gets worse.

Meanwhile, Rosa sees someone moving among the bushes. It’s… Eva. Dangerous music starts, and even does Beatrice’s cackle.

Maria looks up and says… “Auntie, who are you?”

As EVA cackles wildly, sick Eva screams.

“Eva! Are you okay, Eva?! Eva! Eva!!”
“Hold on…!! Don’t let go!! Don’t let me be dragged away by someone who isn’t me…!! Hold onto my hand… Don’t let goooooooooooooo…!!!”

The “Eva” Rosa is talking to becomes EVA.

Maria goes from confused to excited, finally recognizing her as Beatrice. Rosa asks point blank if she’s Eva, and EVA says no, not anymore.

“Then who are you?!! Are you trying to say that you’re Beatrice?! That’s impossible! You died 19 years ago!!! Yes, you were definitely dead, after all, I clearly saw how your head was split open. I can remember the insides flowing out like it was yesterday! How can you be alive and here right noooooooooow?!?!”

“The concept of death does not exist to a Golden Witch. The Golden Witch and the name of Beatrice will be handed down for all eternity. Maybe the Beatrice you knew met with death, but that name is mine now…! And therefore, it’s eternal! The concept of death does not exist for Beatrice!”

EVA pulls herself and Rosa up into the sky… and drops Rosa. But she doesn’t want Rosa dead yet, so… she revives her.

“Ahaha, aha. One time, I knocked over a fishbowl. The fragile and beautiful bowl broke, and I couldn’t put it back together again. I’d never see that cute pop-eyed goldfish swim again after it landed on the floor. …No matter how much I cried, the servants shook their heads, saying that broken things and dead things could never be revived. …That’s when I learned something. You must not break things, you must not kill people. After all, you can’t fix them!!”

But, she reasons, if you can fix them…

High on her new power, EVA tortures Rosa in increasingly creative, childlike ways.

On the meta plane, Bea is loving the show, while Battler is whining at her to stop it. Buck up Battler, this is hardly the worst thing we’ve seen.

Battler finally snaps.

“Stop it right now, stop this disgusting farce!! I won’t forgive you!! How could you do something so cruel?!! I’ve sometimes thought you could be a bit funny, but I’ll never make that mistake again! You’re just a monster who’s cruel on all levels!!! Don’t show yourself in front of me!! Never again!! I won’t accept you, I won’t talk with you, I don’t even want to look at your face!! Did you hear me?!! Don’t show yourself in front of me, DISAPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAARRR!!!”

Oh shit, magic!Bat! I’m here for bat-magic.

His power throws Bea back, and when she gets up, Bat is nowhere to be seen.

“…I-It’s not as though I’m completely blind to where you’re coming from, but this is nothing more than an innocent prank, isn’t it…? No matter how you kill them, they’ll always be brought back to life in the end, right? I thought Humans were creatures who say all’s well that ends well…?! H-Hey, Teacher, there was no reason for him to get so angry, right…?!”

Bea is so sad to me.

Virgilia gives her no reaction. She just says, “…I have nothing in particular to say. If you think this is fun, you can keep watching as long as you want. Call me when it’s over. I will vanish until then.”

Bea calls up Ronove, and asks him why Battler suddely hates her so much.

 “The moves you’ve made up to this point have been more than enough to earn his hatred. Even a demon such as myself can understand a bit of Battler-sama’s feelings. Perhaps you cannot understand because you are especially thickheaded, Milady. Pukukukukuku.”

She shouts at Ron to screw off too, and he does. Bea is alone.

No one will play with a lonely witch. And the fact that no one ever does is what makes them a lonely witch.

“…What’s going on? Why won’t anyone play with me…? Am I really that weird, that cruel…? Someone, answer meeeeeeeeee!!”


Suddenly, meta!Bea materializes next to EVA.

Behind the witch that was continuing her mad banquet, Beato showed herself. That expression was very rare for her. It was somehow restrained, unreliable, miserable.

She asks EVA if she doesn’t think she’s done enough. EVA doesn’t get it.

“But there’s one thing I do understand. No matter how hard I try now, I’m no match for how cruel you are. I’ve gotta try much, much harder. I’ve gotta become more cruel, and become an excellent Golden Witch…!”

“L-Like I said, you’ve already done enough here…! A-Anyway, this is an order from me as your predecessor. That’s enough for the second twilight. I’ll show you how it’s done. Stand back and watch…”

Bea revives them.

When Maria realized it was the real Beatrice, she jumped onto her. “…You promised, right, Beato?! You promised you’d take me to the Golden Land, right?! There, I’ll be friendly with Mama, and everyone will laugh together…! You promised you’d take me there, right?!”

“Why…? Why…? You promised…”

“…I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry… So at least… in apology for not being able to keep my promise…”

…I’ll give you a quiet… sleep that will never be disturbed again…

Beato embraced Maria with a loving expression on her face.

She apologizes to Rosa — this is just fate. But she will make it quick. Bea mercykills them both as humanely as she can.

EVA is not amused, but Bea scolds her.

“…Very well, that will do. Well, there is still much to do for the resurrection ceremony. You still have to kill five people… You should do it without toying with them too much, with beauty and dignity, and with at least a little restraint, okay…? What Ronove told you about how I did it… that was a bad example. You mustn’t use that as a model. Engrave that into your heart.”

Bea calls Ron and the Stakes up. Incidentally, Ron and the Stakes is a great band name.

Bea stammers a bit, until Ron says it straight.

From now on, we will be careful to act in a graceful manner, suitable for the name of the Golden Witch. Even the Seven Sisters of Purgatory will reform their bad behavior up until now, and we shall espouse to perform our task in the quickest possible manner. Would that be acceptable, Milady?”

Bea says yes, and reminds EVA again to act with dignity and grace before vanishing back into the meta. EVA is left alone.

“…Show some restraint, you say…?”

Her expression looked just a little bored. There was a popping sound. That was probably her clicking her tongue. 

“…………What a boring person.”

Dun dun dun.

The clock moves to 11.

Hide is still sitting with Eva, who finally has calmed down and fallen asleep. There’s a knock on the door. The other adults have finally realized Rosa and Maria left.

As they’re talking Eva wakes up and says they have to be stopped from going to the rose garden. Hide tries to explain they’ve been gone for a while, but all Eva can do is ramble about how there’s a witch there who will kill them.

“…It’s a dream, yes… In the rose garden, the witch, doing that to Rosa and Maria-chan… That’s right. It’s a dream… It must be…”

Suddenly meta!Virgilia pops up. She says Rudy found the two bodies, and they were brought to the guest house, where Nanjo confirmed their deaths from strangulation and being stabbed in the neck.

Quietly, Bea says, Rosa and Maria died. The causes of death were as Nanjo diagnosed.

“…It was stated that there are no more than 18 people on this island, and now that eight people are already dead, we can narrow the field of suspects down to ten. One of them probably killed those two.”

Bat tries to reason out what happened.

“…Or could it also be an accidental death? Like Maria was having a tantrum, and when Aunt Rosa tried to stop her crying, she misjudged how much power she was using and accidentally killed her. Then she was so upset that she slipped and fell, landed on the fence, and unluckily, died. How’s that? That way there’s no need for a witch or magic.”

[Bea] “...Well, that’s not quite true. Actually, Rosa and Maria…”

“Shut up. Didn’t I say I wasn’t talking to you? You’re an eyesore, so disappear. You monster.”

Bea says alright, Ron will take her place. Big quote incoming.

“Do what you like. If I can live without seeing that monstrous face, I don’t care about anything else.”

“…Hey, wait a second. You keep saying monster, monster, but isn’t that a cruel way to speak of me? Why do you instinctively hate me so much, Battler? Even though none of that was me, even though it was all the work of my disciple…”

“…It’s not like I’m only mad about what happened just now. It’s been like that from the very beginning.”

“Hey, Battleer. Don’t misunderstand, okay…? Aren’t we just a pair of players confronting each other through a game? We look for moves to make things painful for each other, but…”

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t hate you because you’re my rival in this strange game about whether I accept you as a witch or not. I just can’t forgive how senselessly cruel you are.”

“Well, serial murders are a part of this game… It’s probably impossible to avoid a little cruelty…”

“I’m not just talking about what just happened. The last time, and the time before that too. ……Tearing everyone’s stomachs and stuffing them with sweets, plowing their faces, what was the point of all that?2

“…That’s… well…”

“When it comes to closed room murders and tricks and alibis, I’m willing to give you a pass. You want to claim that this is a murder done by magic, so I’ll grudgingly accept that those complicated crimes need to occur. But what exactly is the point of all those grotesque murders?”

“…Well, umm, nothing much…”

“That’s right. They don’t mean anything. You’re just fooling around by mangling the corpses for fun. That has nothing to do with whether you’re a witch, or whether it could or couldn’t be done with magic. You’re just exploring the depths of cruelty for fun. This isn’t about whether you’re a witch, or anything like that. There are just some things I can’t forgive as a human.”

This is very good as a metacommentary on the genre. Very good.

Bat says he was enjoying their locked-room debate, and didn’t begrudge her killing the six people how she did, because it was simple and gave them some dignity.

When I realized that your decision to kill them in a slightly better way this time was nothing more than a faint whim, and that nothing had changed in your cruel character, I was deeply disappointed. On the contrary, you were even genuinely enjoying those brutal deaths. You weren’t just acting as cruel as you could to bully me. You truly, genuinely enjoy cruelty. Your character lets you enjoy it.

You saw Aunt Rosa being brutally killed over and over, and said, isn’t this fun?

You weren’t joking. You enjoyed it from the bottom of your heart, wanted me to sympathize, and said that I’d probably think it was fun. In that instant, I lost respect for you and realized the truth.

Bat says he intends to keep playing the game.

However, your pointless cruelty is absolutely unnecessary for that game.

Wow. Good for R07.

Bea is quiet for a long time. Then she says she’ll work through Ron from now on. As she goes to disappear, Virgilia says they need to talk. Bea vanishes.

Ron says that Bea has never had a friend before, has never had someone speak to her so straightforwardly; he and the other furniture are her servants, not her equals. Battler says he’s definitely not Bea’s friend, and Ron’s like, fair enough, but you know what I’m saying.

Virgilia thanks him for continuing with the game, and Bat says they should get started again.

But we’re going to cut. I have a lot I want to say about that scene, and I need some time to think about it.


  1. Moonlight says:

    Eva having a fever while EVA is killing people is really reminiscent of the Heaven’s Feel route to me.

    Also, Jesus Christ Hideyoshi for that comment when you just saw Rosa friggin slap her child. That was one of the moment that really threw me off him, cuz I generally think he’s a pretty likeable character. It sucks that the cousins are the only ones who speak out about it and try to help Maria, but given the generational divide and authoritarian atmosphere of the Ushiromiya household, it makes sense.

    It’s also kind of interesting that Bea is so upset to see Battler genuinely angry with her, considering her initial premise of making him suffer as much as possible. Like, girl, what did you even expect here LOL

    1. illhousen says:

      Also, Jesus Christ Hideyoshi for that comment when you just saw Rosa friggin slap her child. That was one of the moment that really threw me off him, cuz I generally think he’s a pretty likeable character.

      It makes sense with how George turned out, though. Hide doesn’t seem the type to distribute abuse, but he is the type to stand by it. Though Eva is probably more into verbal than physical abuse.

      Like, girl, what did you even expect here LOL

      She thought Battler was into some kinky shit from the opposite end of her.

    2. Heatth says:

      Also, Jesus Christ Hideyoshi for that comment when you just saw Rosa friggin slap her child. That was one of the moment that really threw me off him, cuz I generally think he’s a pretty likeable character. It sucks that the cousins are the only ones who speak out about it and try to help Maria, but given the generational divide and authoritarian atmosphere of the Ushiromiya household, it makes sense.

      The true message of Umineko is that all adults are assholes. =p

  2. Heatth says:

    EVA Beatrice’s seen with Rosa is terribly uncomfortable but also fascinating to me for soem reason. If I am not mistaken, the music used there is the same as during the “coronation”, right? As I said before, I really liked that scene, and the use of music was a big reason why. To see the track that evoked happiness in the previous scene being used so brutally here is very interesting, specially because it is still appropriate for EVA’s mood.

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