Yesterday, I forgot to include M fic. Today, I make up for that. Also, ongoing research failures and possibly people translating their fic from languages that don’t have gendered pronouns.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14180414/1/Moemon-Detective-Pikachu

[Despite their relatively near human appearance, humanity had long considered them creatures, as early studies and humankind had proved that Moemons lacked the necessary intelligence as humans did.  ]

[Interspecies relationships between human and Moemons were initially, while not frowned upon, made it quite confusing for the human race initially. Regulations and laws were set in place to make sure that both humans and Moemon had equal opportunities.  ]

Yeah, you can’t have this both ways. Either they’re inherently an inferior race that makes it right and good for the humans, or, as you often call them, just plain men to rule over them for their own good, or they totally have equality and it’s not rape to fuck them. If you want fuckable moemon and you aren’t kinking on the raping your slaves part, all you have to do is say they’re actually equal instead of doing on about [the brilliant mind of men] vs the inferior moemon.

Speaking of, [Though what made it quite interesting was that all Moemons in recorded history had been female. There had been no sign of a male Moemon, as the anatomical nature of them had been the same as a female human. Moemons simply breed by with another of the same species.] That’s not what female means. When two slugs fuck and they both get pregnant, it’s not because they’re ultra females who you’re so super heterosexual and manly to find sexy. You can have boy and girl moemons, or you can have neither.

[But as far as relationships with the opposite gender went, Tim never had any interests. He had a few interests in school as any teenager with developing hormones went, but as far as an official long lasting relationship, there was nothing. Even Moemons with some… should he say: risque outfits and anatomy, they did not awaken anything within him. ]

Now, gay boy trapped in sexy moegirl fapland is kind of funny, I’ll grand you. But you don’t seem too clear on the concept given you also think all women look at the hot girls running around and respond with pure, unsexual resentment.

[In fact, Tim noted that all Moemons had an ideal figure and features that was perhaps the desire of every female human out there. He swore that Arceus, who was considered the progineitor of Moemon, and even considered a goddess, solely did this to fuck with humanity and mess with the minds of the perverted kind of humanity. Having an idealistic body proportion made female humans jealous, and often attracted the male kind. ]

Speaking of those hot moegirls, this is also bullshit, there isn’t one single female body that everyone agrees is the right one and to the degree that there are common preferences, the one women are more likely to prefer and the one men are more likely to prefer aren’t the same. If these moemon were actually in a form matching the desire of human females, Tim and the rest of the men would be bitching about it. Indeed, you can experience this any time you feel like by checking out Reddit’s thoughts on cartoons. For everyone to think this is true, the moemon must actually be blobs or eldritch incomprehensible things that everyone just sees as whatever they personally find hottest.

[“Yeah, great. A human that is creeping up towards a lone Cubone standing out in the middle of nowhere says he’s taking a stroll.” The biting sarcasm rolled off, along with a hefty dose of disbelief and mocking. “You don’t expect me to believe that crap the slightest bit, right?”

Tim glared back at the hiding Jack for support for a brief moment, and Jack rapidly waved his arms to indicate a throwing motion, before throwing himself behind the bush, and Tim was left by himself once more.

Thanks Jack.

Turning back, Tim opened his mouth once more to explain, to possibly give an explanation that would sound plausible as possible, but her suspicious gaze already let him know that there was little to no explanation that would be adequate. “Um… No?” He steadily moved away. “I’ll…I’ll just leave now then. Leave you… alone.”

It seemed like he would not capture a Moemon.

“Yeah, great. You do that.” The Cubone waved her bone at him, and he could also hear the whisper under her breath. “Pervert.”

Tim scrapped together the remaining bits of his dignity and pride as he walked off, cursing himself for having no backbone and chucking the damn device at the Cubone earlier. He could see Jack laughing now as he turned to see his hiding place, except the man wasn’t. He was still crouched low, looking intently at where the Cubone was.

“Tim! What the fuck are you doing?! Why are you leaving?! Go and chuck the fucking thing at her! Her back’s turned! You aren’t just gonna give up early are you?”]

Anyway, in general, I really don’t get why your author’s note goes on about how this is a fun romp [as lighthearted as the movie] when it’s a pile of rape. Bonus points for the fact that despite clearly being a person who by all appearances is if anything more intelligent than either of them, they don’t give a fuck and discuss what they’re going to name her once they imprison her. If you want to write a pile of rape and misogyny – and look, you really obviously do, fine, YKINMKATO, but warn for that instead of writing long author’s notes about how much it isn’t that. Rape kink is fine. Rape kink you’re trying to present as anything but rape or kink is when it gets fucked up.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14180444/1/Touya-s-paradise-kotone-edition

[kotone said as silver entered his ‘d’ in her soft pussy.  ]

Please use capital letters, actually write out the words, and generally try to stick to correct grammar enough the fic doesn’t sound like you’re a little kid when writing porn.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14180626/1/The-most-gifted-magician-there-is

Capitalize your title properly.

[A Meowscarada ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[“I can make you come with no physical contact whatsoever! No hands, no tongue, no private bits. I wouldn’t touch you at all.”

Her cocky grinning face was quite the sight to see. The human fought back the urge to sigh. “Are you in heat again, Soleil? I thought your next estrus would come around two weeks from now.”]

Okay, I realize I’m reading porn fic, but this is a particularly absurd exchange. “Clearly you’re horny and looking for sexual gratification” does not actually follow from “I bet I can give you an enjoyable sexual experience in a way that doesn’t involve me in contact with you at all!” It’s sort of like the idea that horny women will always see a dick and decide the place they most want that is in their mouth. You’re already deep in the porn scenario of her being willing to do any sort of sexy thing to show off, you really don’t need to invoke the even more out-there porn scenario of her sexual enjoyment revolving utterly around the guy getting off.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14180967/1/Champion-Companions

[a Pikachu ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[“I’m really sorry about that!” he apologized quickly as he reached a hand out towards her on the ground, “I guess I was in such a hurry that I wasn’t watching where I was going…”]

[“It’s fine,” she laughed off his worries with an easy smile, “Now I suggest you should be going; you don’t want to miss the tournament.”]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14180996/1/Crater

[Cold, I’m cold, why am I cold? And wet, not entirely, just my left leg. Soaked through my legwear to the skin, I must have spilled something in my sleep. Hopefully it hasn’t stained the grass… Wait, grass? “What the fuck?!”

My eyes snap open, “Where the hell am I…”, grass, rocks, dirt, is that a waterfall? “Calm yourself…”, I mutter as I take in my surroundings. To my left, a cliff, one with a sharp drop and neighbouring an eerily quiet waterfall, explains the wetness, some of the water was hitting the cliff face and forming a small river right into the divot I was unceremoniously dumped in.

“Someone has a sick sense of humour, dropping me off who knows where to do who knows what. Arceus dammit! How did they even get me up here? It’s like a five-hundred-meter drop!” It probably isn’t actually that high, but with no one to correct me my rant continued]

Okay, so a character’s internal monologue being vague or full of exaggeration can work, but it does not mix well with having that internal monologue be the only source of information about the surroundings you’re giving. I have no idea if it’s four hundred meters or one meter at this point, I just know it “probably” isn’t five hundred. I know one of his legs is wet and that he is wearing something on his leg, but “legwear” doesn’t actually tell me anything else – not even how much it’s absorbent, there isn’t even enough detail to tell if the rocks are mildly wet and it’s some cloth wicking up every drop or if his leg was completely submerged in a puddle and anything short of a rubber seal would be soaked through. (And that does kind of matter in terms of detail, because he could use that to tell how long he’s been lying there if he’s completely soaked but his clothing is mildly water repellent, or if his clothing is highly absorbent and it’s still in the act of soaking water up.)

Also, if you want swears, just use the regular swears instead of trying to clunkily invoke the idea that everything everywhere will always function like your local Christianity – and even if you mistook Arceus for something that did map onto that, no one swears Jesusdammit.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[a few Pokémon swimming ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[The “crop circles”, regardless of the lack of actual crops, are chunks of earth taken out the ground in straight lines through four circles, two on top of the others. ]

So they’re not crop circles.

This really needed several more editing passes to think about the best way to communicate what he’s noticing and what’s going on around him. If he’s going to be the narrator in a story where he’s describing the confusing world around him to the reader, then you need to design him to work as a good narrator.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14181005/1/Help-I-m-a-Pok%C3%A9mon

[“I understand why you want to stay up and play games every night. But you can’t keep doing this! You need your sleep to keep yourself healthy, and we can only do so much to help you recover. With your disease, and these surgeries, we need you to sleep well so your body can recover and so that you can live longer.”

The boy stopped his stretching and laid back down in the bed. “Yeah, I know… I know that… but… It’s not like I have much longer left anyways, right?]

So, two aspects of this.

One is that dying kids usually just get to play videogames and eat ice cream, because if people know they’re doomed they generally focus on making sure the kid enjoys the time they have left. If someone didn’t, it’d more likely be a parent in denial than a nurse who has seen lots of kids die and is very familiar with statistical odds. If this kid wants to play a videogame, this may be his only chance.

The other is that dying kids usually don’t have to be told to rest. When you’re really sick, even something like playing a videogame is going to be too much at times. He would likely be struggling to focus on it, sluggish reacting to someone coming in instead of swiftly hiding it, and tired enough that lying down to pretend sleep has a good chance of him drifting off. If he’s currently performing at semi-healthy kid levels, then he should be awake and allowed to play it, because that’s not likely to last long and you don’t want to waste the short good periods.

Or to put that together, this reads badly because you’re writing fatal childhood illness like it’s the flu.

[He coughed once rather violently, bending over on himself. If one looked closely, they might have seen several small spots of red on the clean bedsheet.  ]

Relatedly, if your fic opens with a character who’s sick, please do some research instead of recycling consumption tropes that have been cliché for two hundred years by now. We have treatment for coughing up blood syndrome these days. Diseases we can’t treat are not coughing up blood syndrome. We can, and do, straight up replace people’s lungs if the lungs themselves are beyond treatment. But if this is something hypothetically treatable, then it would not be a matter of his sad inevitable death despite the best attempts at treatment but an ongoing fight to keep him alive long enough for someone to wrangle the actual treatment out of the insurance company, in which case the nurse and the rest of the adults should be clear to him about that instead of letting him give up and die.

In the event you need this kind of opening, I would strongly suggest actually searching up a few illnesses, then picking one that doesn’t have good treatment and more importantly, kills pretty suddenly so it’s reasonable to do from a lucid, coordinated, awake kid to dead this abruptly.

[(Your adventure begins now!)

(You are about to enter the beautiful Kalos Region!)

(Go and meet many Pokémon and people, and fill your life with rich experiences!)

(Now let’s go visit the world of Pokémon!) ]

But I don’t think you need the opening at all. Ask yourself what about this we actually learn. Why the kid died? He died because he was sick, and every other detail you included was poorly researched, so skipping over that and just having him say he was sick would’ve gone better. Why the kid got reincarnated? Because magic. Showing him thinking about the idea doesn’t actually explain anything. That he likes the games? Yet again, not something you needed to show. If the actual story begins after he wakes up in the new world, then just start there. “Oh wow, I must’ve been reincarnated after I died of (actual childhood disease here, go with cancer if you can’t think of one)!” would cover this entire chapter.

This is likely one of those things where everyone else does it therefore it must be done. Once you could usually find out what they were copying and then point out the actual structural purpose this served. Now, there’s a good chance that the answer is it was copied from another fanfic which was coped from another fanfic which was…and no one knows what the original was or what it had going on during this scene.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14181020/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-%D0%AFe-birth

[Arceus couldn’t be more proud of its chosen one  ]

[Arceus hasn’t questioned the fact that its chosen one ]

[his chosen one  ]

[he is her preferred human ]

So, you’re inconsistent on pronouns throughout the opening before largely stabilizing on “he”. You have similar issues with the other characters. Edit better.

[“Well…remember when Uncle Ash went to fix my house? So…I didn’t want to be alone and I knew he would leave after saving the tree from the beginning. So I…” Mew flinched and Arceus narrowed his eyes.]

On a somewhat related note, it’s kind of uncomfortable that you’re writing Mew as both the one female character in the mix of legendaries and a very little kid who can’t even pronounce Mewtwo. Nor does this explanation actually work with the whole ten year old business – Mew doesn’t have power over time and that movie takes place long after the jokes about Ash being ageless start. It’d have made far more sense to have it be Celebi screwing up – it’s a stretch, but more workable to say Ash manages Kanto, Orange Islands, and gets to Johto before turning 11 than that there’s nothing weird about him being four regions in and on his eighth movie before his next birthday.

[his name is not Arceus, the Alpha and the Omega. ]

It’s not Christianity.

[What your daughter did was very serious. Splitting the soul of any living being is extremely dangerous, and if any mistake is made, the soul itself will die.

While this would normally be bad enough, it’s made worse by the fact that Ash is the chosen one. If his soul dies, the balance of the world will immediately disappear, and as a result, the planet itself will collapse.]

Sounds like the actual problem here is having a chosen one in the first place. Also, it sounds like the world is doomed anyway. Tying everyone alive’s fate to one single person is a fatal design flaw. In your attempt to make Ash the most special of them all, you’ve mostly just established the whole world’s made of tissue paper and not really worth getting all worried this time when this is probably just going to happen again before long. Doubly so when the fix for it this time is to kill everyone on the current timeline to put Ash into a new one.

[“We mend the chosen one’s soul, but we can’t send them back to the same timeline. The world continued to spin while the soul of the chosen one remained trapped in an eternal cycle because of Mew.” Palkia explained to Arceus what was done as he sent another stern look at the pink Pokémon. ]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[In my story, the minimum age to start the Pokémon journey is 13 years old, the reason will be explained later. ]

The reason is you want him older because it’s a harem, the correct solution to this is just to have him spend longer as a trainer.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14181057/1/Changing-the-World

[From failing classes several times over to being held back twice; Losing an important job interview because someone stole the wheels to my bike; To thinking I got lucky by winning a free coupon to eat at a new seafood buffet place, only to get my stomach wrecked due to undercooked food.]

Don’t capitalize words in the middle of your sentences. A semicolon is not a period.

[OK, ok.  ]

Okay, four letters.

[If I bet someone two nickels for every time I’d woken up to a prismatic blue glowing orb that folded in and out of itself like some unending 4 dimensional art piece Vince Van Gough cooked up on a deadline while huffing paints and astral projecting his spirit into the future to get tips from Bob Ross who was dreaming he was a happy accident tree… Well, I’d have exactly two nickels.]

The phrase is “got a” because that’s not how betting works.

[“Hi Mister or Misses orby. Why aren’t you asleep? Do you want to play?” Was what I reasoned.]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Also, you shouldn’t be treating “reasoned” like it can be swapped for “said”. It’s a very rare line of dialogue that would make sense with it, and those weren’t ones that work.

[As if that wasn’t bizzare enough, figures from within its shadings crept forwards. Dancing sillouettes stalking closer as more and more joined from the heavens and earth; many plummeting down onto the terra firma or crawling up from within said depths to join in the preternatural dance of perennial desire. As if appeasing some illusionary god which might call forth its dieform feat of releasing us from the impure fetters of our mortal bodies, so that we may immanentize the eschaton and rightfully ascend unto our thrones within the hallways of heaven. In everlasting evanescence, to do as thy will; as above, so below.

Moving past that unfathomable, insperation scene, I also managed to see that those silhouettes were also quite different from humans or even regular animal personages (as far as I could have reasonably comprehended from at the time).]

You desperately need to focus less on trying to sound very smart in your description and more on writing clearly and well. To start with, use spellcheck.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14181106/1/Uncommon-Lovers-Bronzong

[This writing, “Uncommon Lovers” is meant to be a series of installations about otherwise rarely, or not at all, written erotic pairings for the challenge of it. In this series that means some guy with a female something or other. In this case, a Bronzong.]

If you’re actually trying to write challenging erotic pairings, then you could try not insisting every weird pokemon is a girl and then having the actual sex involve her going into his brain where she appears as a generic hot girl.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[“You know what to do.” He said, curling up with a blanket in the center of a ring of wooden blocks, “Bella, use Hypnosis.”]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14181137/1/Pok%C3%A9mpanions-New-Year-s-Birthday

[“Man, I’m excited for the big party later,” Jolteon grinned.]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You really should not be posting these as individual stories. There’s a chapter feature for a reason.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14181240/1/W04-Pokemon-NewGen

If you’re reposting a string of tweets as a full fic, edit out the thread numbers on each one.

[pallet town ]

This is the place’s name, and so is capitalized like any other name.

[ the Pokemon were being kept and The Professor ]

Neither “pokemon”, “the”, or “professor” are a person’s individual name, and so none of them should be capitalized.

[introduced theirself as Pink ]

You swap pronouns from this in the first section to “he”. If you change your mind, edit.

[ an exelent choice ]

Spellcheck.

[Pink then got a Pokeball ready saying “Let’s do this” before throwing the ball at Pidgey. ]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You really need more of a plot for your trainerfic than “is a trainer”.