A batch that’s heavy on the unfortunate implications and questionable decisions.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14025914/1/Life-As-A-Undercover-Maid (0)

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You need punctuation at the end of all sentences, not just a couple of them, and the start of a sentence is always capitalized.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14025922/1/Life-of-a-CombeeKeeper (2)

[A small off-color Herdier came charging determinedly around the corner of the dark red barn, brawny hay clinging to it’s slick gray coat.]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

“It’s” is short for “it is”. “Its” is possessive.

[“Hag” He muttered to himself]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

And make sure there’s always punctuation at the end of your sentences.

[This little slice of life, Pokemon story is going to be OC centric and can hopefully be fleshed out into something fun. Always looking for feedback and reception. Please let me know how you’re feeling about this introductory chapter!]

The thing is while this is definitely slice of life, it doesn’t seem particularly pokemon slice of life. Saying the farm dog is a pokemon dog, the farm donkey pulling the cart is a pokemon donkey, and the farm’s honey is pokemon honey doesn’t make things any different than in any other story about a farmer. Neither does saying that the glassblower’s glass comes from sandshrew and vulpix mean anything – it’s not like they’re somewhere that couldn’t get glass otherwise, or a kind of glass that’s pokemon exclusive.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14025958/1/That-Circhester-Feeling (0)

[Ventura, his Cinderace,]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[“I’m sorry, I’m supposed to be your rival and I’m just a stupid, weak crybaby,” Hop pulled away and made to stand,]

[“Look at me.” Victor demanded,]

[“Two rooms?” The clerk asked.]

[“One bed.” He whispered.]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14026024/1/Spill-the-Tea (3)

A drabble is where you write something exactly hundred words long. If you story is well over a thousand and you end saying you might keep writing, it’s not one.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14026188/1/It-s-Electrifying-SUBMIT-OCS (6)

You really shouldn’t do the OC thing. Characters should be designed to fit the story you want to tell. If you’re just looking for inspiration, you’d be much better served by looking around at other media for character ideas and then selecting a varied cast that makes sense for what you want. If you’re hoping to get reader investment, know that this accomplishes the opposite – people whose character you don’t pick, which is most of your readers, have no particular reason to care about someone else’s OC, and the couple you do pick are likely skimming to get to their character and ignoring the rest of your actual story. You’d get better bang for your buck writing about popular canon characters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[*Kai lost his sight for a few seconds.*]

Don’t do this. Just write the narration normally.

[Otto stepped away as he was told. As far as he was concerned, Kai was still his trainer, and his best friend. He needed to help him.

“What are we gonna do, Otto? I could try and continue to be a trainer, maybe? I don’t know!”

Kai quickly figured out that he mostly ate meat. His teeth quickly confirmed that. They were sharp and looked like they were meant to shred things up.

“Everyone will think i’m.. j-just another Raichu, other than my clothes!”

“Don’t worry, Kai! The clothes will be more than enough. People might just assume you belong to a trainer!”

“I-i guess you’re right.”

“Yeah. Nobody assumes a Pokémon in clothes is wild!”

“Well, uh.. what about you? I mean, I already have you caught, but how are you supposed to journey with me now if you look exactly like a wild Pokémon?”

“I mean, if I stay near you.. they’ll just think i’m with you, which is technically true.”

“Hmm.. I just thought of something, Otto. Can’t you teach me how to use moves?”

“You’ve turned into an electric mouse, and i’m very weak to Electric attacks. It would be difficult, but I guess I could. At least this opens a bunch of new doors for you, right? You’ll have a bunch of cool powers!”

“Yeah.. but hundreds are slammed shut with me no longer being able to communicate with humans.. well, we have to make the best of our situation, right? I just hope it all works out.”

“It has to, Kai. Don’t worry, i’ll be by your side through thick and thin. You’ll be fine!”]

Also, if you’re doing a story that involves someone turning into a pokemon, finding out now that they can understand pokemon that pokemon are just as intelligent as they are, then being horrified to realize other humans will now treat them the same way they treated pokemon…maybe consider that it’s pretty fucked up to act like it’s only wrong because it’s happening to them, and of course their own pokemon will be totally loyal to them while they say shit about how it’s awful because now people will think they’re just a regular pokemon and treat them as badly as any other regular pokemon, you know, just like the regular pokemon they’re speaking to.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14026492/1/Pokemon-Wilds (0)

[The people are still distantly related to the pokemon of Aeternium as well, so they can understand each other perfectly and directly communicate with each other. Because of this, many people of Aeternium can build a strong bond of friendship almost unheard of in other worlds.]

But not like, actual friendship where you don’t buy a small child stuck in a cage and declare that hey, you’re her owner now and also that means you get to name her! Also whoops this guy thinks we should and yeah the pokedex says his pokemon’s L50 but hey [“We’re obviously not going to win, but we can still put on a good show together, and I won’t let him hurt you too bad,” Mira continued.] friendship!!!!!!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14026979/1/A-Sudden-Halt (1)

[It was amusing when Ash remembered her introduction to Goh, Chloe, and everyone else, but he hasn’t told them of their relationship, as they would try to find the pokemon. But after a quick explanation, they now knew that she was Ash’s pokemon.

“You know Ash,” Goh said, gaining Ash’s attention, “I always wondered how you manage to capture a legendary pokemon without me knowing about it,”

“Well, I’ve had her before I met you,” Ash retorted.

‘And the fact that I have not even caught her with a Pokeball yet. But I think she would like to be free for now,’ Ash thought to himself.]

Oh god this is so creepy. Hasn’t done it yet. Free for now. Does he think it’s okay to think of his girlfriend like this because she’s just a pokemon or would he think of any girlfriend as being his property whose freedom has an expiration date because that’s just what he thinks of women and marriage?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14027108/1/The-Croon-At-The-End-Of-The-World (0)

Hm. I like what you’ve got here of May having more than a little trauma from all that she’s been through as well as the disconnection/numbness but I’m not sure the bath thing quite synergies. She doesn’t want to get out and complains at the idea of having her bath interrupted, but there’s not much sense she’s enjoying it either. She’s got so much dirt on her she needs to refill the tub for a second bath, but little sense of if this is because she hasn’t been able to despite really wanting to clean off or that she’s been too out of it to care and it built up without her thinking about it. I kind of get the impression the main thing that’s soothing to the water is that as long as she’s taking a bath she can’t do anything else, but what’s described here doesn’t get to that level – refilling it once for what sounds like a real reason vs refilling it several times as her skin gets ever prunier, say.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14027155/1/Sigma (0)

[“Nice to get some fresh air, isn’t it?” the man asked the creature behind him.

It let out a modest cry as it stretched its orange-pelted arms, hunching its back in satisfaction. The man sat on the stone ground surrounded by the grass of the cemetery, feeling a weak downdraft. The creature laid its head against the man’s lap, closing its eyes as he pets its beige fur.

“We have a lot to look forward to, Arcanine, much like all these new trainers coming to carve their path here in Sigma. Are you curious to see how far they will be able to walk?”

Arcanine nodded its head in agreement]

The narration seems at odds here. The way the man speaks, Arcanine’s someone he cares about and whose feelings he’s aware of, but there’s a lot of distance in the narration saying “creature” and “its”. If there’s a purpose to that contradiction, I’m missing it.

[The boy groaned. “Of course. It’s always the one day I have to pick up food from the village that the rain starts. Why can’t the chief get wet once in a while?”]

This, meanwhile, is odd with its implication that usually the chief does go get the food in addition to the work of making it and it’s just it doesn’t rain those days. Complaining it seems to always rain when he goes makes sense as a bad luck thing, complaining it’s his job at all to do the easy but time-consuming thing and not the presumably much more skilled person is weird.

[“Calm down, Riolu,” the boy smiled. “We’ll get our share once Cyto and Karla get a share of this fresh, succulent, delicious…” ]

Really awkwardly worded. “We’ll get our share together with” sounds like it’s what you’re going for, or else “We’ll get our share after”.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[“Please, Pikachu,” she pleaded as guilt washed her face with the rain. “I know I’m not your trainer, but I can’t stand to be away from you or the Pokémon of the world, no matter what Cyto says. Please come with me.”]

Whatever’s going on here with Karla sounds a lot more interesting than your actual story opening of people standing around talking cryptically or whining about boring things, and probably would’ve worked better if it was the scene your fic actually opened on. And if your main story’s supposed to be about some other guy we haven’t even met yet named Kanu being a regular trainer, this prologue is really not doing anything to build excitement for that shift in focus rather than seeing whatever the main story is as something to have to impatiently wait through until you eventually get back to the things you brought up here. If Kanu’s got a connection to all this, the prologue should be making it really clear what that is and why people should see shifting over to him as an actual continuation of the things you’re setting up in your prologue, rather than a matter of dragging out the process of getting to it.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

We’ll probably never know given most of these fics aren’t completed, but I’m really getting a weird vibe from this where we have one female character of the four introduced and another guy in the summary who the story’s actually about, and she’s only there so the guys can talk about how she’s “escaping” again and how this is bad because she’s “important” to things they want, or if it’ll be fine because she’ll inevitably come back for the thing they need her for. There’s just the sense that she’s allowed precisely enough of a sense of personhood to mess with things without the narration actually seeing her as a person of equal weight.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14027542/1/Harley-is-Gay (0)

Spellcheck.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[“Okay, so… um, I was raped by some men…”

“Oh, that’s terrible…!”

“Yeah, it was worse than that…” He started to cry. “I mean… it’s just that, they were just gay, old men, but you are a gay man and… I don’t understand it?” He sniveled. “How are you not like them?”

“Well, Kyn, everyone eats everyone eventually…, but, as of now, you should only cause so much pain to people, because of love of people and pain and all that… But I’m not a freak like some people are.”]

Look, you seem to be trying to work through some issues with homosexuality, and from the sounds of it sex in general. I wish you good luck with that whole journey, but this is incoherent and what can be made out seems to still be broadly on the side of repeating prejudices. If your college offers therapy you might want to try talking this out with someone qualified instead.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14027564/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Empires-Kingdoms-and-Unity (0)

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[Whether you’re dual typing matters not, the marking you bare decides where you originate.]

“Dual-typed” and I don’t think “originate” is the word when you say a pokemon who changes type has to move. Also, while “bare” does mean “show”, which does work, I think you might mean “bear” as in “carry”. Maybe something more like “If you’re dual-typed, you can still only be a member of one kingdom, decided by the mark you bear.”

I’m glad you have a way to handle this, but I think you should also explain this further. How does the marking work? Do dual-typed pokemon get to choose which mark they take, or is the marking something that’s just there? Are all pokemon of a particular species marked in the same way, or are some jynx marked as of the ice/water kingdom while other jynx are marked as the psychic/flying kingdom?

[“AND THE GRASS-NORMAL KINGDOM, RIGHT?! OUR KINGDOM HAS THE BEST BERRIES!” A loud and obnoxious voice yelled, interrupting the spiel. ]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[Lopunny smiled back. “Well of course! Nothing is impossible,” she said, completely contradicting her thoughts on the matter. That was impossible. The nine kingdoms were so vast and different—a unity was unlikely, but she mused the little Eevee.

“If we try really hard, then we might be able to reach an agreement!”]

This should really be a single paragraph, and I don’t think “mused” is the right word – “indulged”, maybe.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14027714/1/Tales-of-Heroes-and-Conquerors (0)

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

A consequence-free battle is not a particularly interesting thing to spend an entire chapter on. It might work as a lead-in to a much longer actual first chapter, but even then it’d probably work better shortened to just the ending. Look at the first episode of the anime – Ash doesn’t watch a complete pokemon battle, just a partial one, and the first episode is meant to introduce the viewer to the entire concept of pokemon battling, while fanfic readers not only already get that, but have seen tons of fic open with another championship battle already. Your first chapter is establishing what your story is about, but from the looks of it, instead of it being true from your first paragraph, you don’t get to the point until the final paragraph, at which point the chapter’s over. That’s not a very good hook.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14027733/1/Verify (0)

[“So you’re going off to Sinnoh, Hop?” Victor asks as he lets out a long sigh, flopping onto the couch in Hop’s living room. “That’s not fair, you’re leaving me.”]

Okay, so this is where you really should’ve opened the story. Look back over what you’ve written. Everything before this is you telling the reader in narration about what’s happened so far or two characters saying exposition at each other about what’s going to happen. But you didn’t need to have Hop chat about the idea of leaving, get told he could leave, talk about if he’s going to leave, then say he’s going to leave for an entire page of text. You can just have someone say that’s what he’s doing and move things on.

[“Are you going to be bringing Zamazenta with you?” Victor asks knocking Hop out of the trance he had put himself into.

Hops turns to look at Victor. “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I?” He asks, confused on why Victor is asking him about this.

“You can’t!” Victor says, jumping up front his sitting position to stand before Hop. “You can’t take Zamazenta.”

“What do you mean, ‘I can’t’?” Hop asks. “He’s one of my Pokémon, just like Cinderace and Dubwool.”

“But Zamazenta is one of the Galar legends!” Victor argues back. “If something happens we might need him here!”]

This, meanwhile, is really interesting, which kind of makes it a mistake to bring up when it seems like you’re just trying to explain why you don’t want Hop to have him along. If it’s such a big deal to have a legendary ready to do stuff for a region, what does it mean to have someone catch one in the first place? Does a human conception of a region actually line up with a legendary pokemon’s territory in the first place? If Zamazenta has important responsibilities, but they actually aren’t limited to the region, what happens when humans think those problems are somebody else’s and they’re keeping their legendary for their problems only?

If none of that’s the point, then much like you didn’t need an extended conversation about the concept of a person traveling to another region, you’re probably better served skipping over it as much as possible with Hop being the one who feels Zamazenta should stay in Galar. Discussing it makes it sound like this kind of thing matters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[“Yes,” Hop huffs as he tries to extract himself from his brother’s hold. “Just like I talked to mom about the past couple days, now can you let go of me?”

“But… But… You’re my little Brother! How can I just let you go?!” The man shouts, holding onto his brother even harder.]

Seriously. Names or used in place of a name, capital letter. Not used as a name, not a capital letter.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

…and then you keep having him meet people and talk about the idea of traveling for a job and then he arrives and says yes he sure did travel to do a job and he hasn’t even actually met Rowan so I assume that after going to the lab and talking to the lab assistant about how he’s here to do stuff, next chapter will be the thrilling continuation of walking back into the lab and then saying the same thing to Rowan. You desperately need to think about what information people actually need shown to them to follow your story and what’s not, and about what purpose your scenes serve in your larger story.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14027759/1/Between-a-Pinch-and-a-Sharp-Place (0)

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[And currently, Butterfree is out cold beside him after being clocked with a well-aimed rock kicked up by the Scyther. Bugsy dragged her into the brush and gave her a once-over, and she’ll be fine, but it’s just his luck.

He checks her again, shaking her gently. “Hey, Butterfree,” he whispers quietly.

Butterfree snoozes softly, but is otherwise, okay.]

…and the reason he physically dragged her around for all this instead of recalling her into her pokeball is…? Especially when ten paragraphs later he does recall her, with nothing whatsoever about the situation changing between the two points.

[“Maybe I could talk to them.” It sounds stupid the moment it leaves his mouth. “Yeah, that’s a dumb idea.”]

[“Wait,” he calls out, having run out of options.

And to its credit, the Scyther pauses.

“Um…” Bugsy pauses. “Wasn’t expecting that to work.”]

This almost feels reasonable, except for the part where he’s supposedly the super bug trainer who knows all about bugs. If aggressive bug pokemon can be talked down even a fraction of the time, that’s a completely reasonable thing to attempt rather than something you do when you’re out of options and then forget you already decided it would never possibly work.

[“So, like, what’s the deal?” asks Bugsy, trying his best to act casual and not fling his hands about. He’s always talked with them, always been incredibly verbose in his body language alone. Not conducive to fighting off gigantic bug Pokémon larger than life.

Or at least, larger than Bugsy.]

Similarly. This sequence reads way closer to someone from our world being dropped into this situation and trying to reason their way through on the fly, not someone whose entire thing is knowing and interacting closely with these exact species and who presumably manages not to be threatening and scary to them on a daily basis.

[“Well if that isn’t my luck,” says Bugsy, cursing lowly under his breath. He thinks he’s figured this out finally.

When Bugsy used to compete, he rarely kept the bug Pokémon that he caught. There wasn’t ever a reason to, not really. He’s caught enough to last him his entire life. And it wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to keep them.

Bugsy’s filled enough boxes that even Professor Elm eventually told him to stop. “We can only hold so much for you,” he’d said. “Though, your enthusiasm is duly noted.”

The Scyther and Pinsir at one point, must have been his, caught in the flurry of events that make up the Bug Catching Contest. And, per his usual habit, Bugsy had promptly let them go after pictures were taken and awards were given.

He’d never considered that maybe- just maybe- the Pokémon in question might feel a little bit slighted by that. That perhaps they’d welcome the companionship.]

And while this is an interesting reason for the pair of them attacking him when they’re more often used as no-explanation threats for the character to overcome, your explanation’s tripping over itself.

Bugsy has enough pokemon – yeah, makes sense, good explanation.

Bugsy wanted to keep them anyway even though he wouldn’t have enough time for them- already moving away from sympathetic.

Bugsy already has hundreds of pokemon sitting in boxes forever and only stopped continuing to hoard them because he was told he had to – wow, he literally just sees these guys as fun trophies, and companionship was never even an option for them. It’s an unqualified good that someone forced him to start releasing the pokemon again because ones like this who do want trainers now can get a second chance at someone who won’t stuff them in a box for the rest of their life.

[“It isn’t my fault!” says Bugsy, his voice hoarse from his yelling and pleading. “I just- would you believe that I’ve caught so many of you that I’ve been told to stop? There isn’t anywhere to put you, and because of arbitrary Pokémon League Laws, I’m only allowed six at a time- and really, that’s just the dumbest because who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by bug-types every moment of their life?”]

Yeah, this is a terrible chain of reasoning. If he wanted to be surrounded by them in his life, he wouldn’t be sticking them in boxes away from him. There’s absolutely no rule against pokemon walking around freely in your vicinity.

This all seems like it’d make far more sense set well before he became a gym leader and where there was something else stopping him than other people’s completely justified concern for pokemon’s wellbeing. If he was still a kid and his parents had banned him from keeping any other pokemon yet, then you could easily have him doing catch and release while still thinking in terms of companionship and wanting to be around more bug types given the choice. It’d also fit far better with him having only a single pokemon with him who’s so weak as to be taken out by a single rock, him apparently forgetting how pokeballs work for a few minutes there, and him knowing so little about bugs that he’s surprised talking to them works and struggling not to do something that’ll set them off again by accident.

[“So, how about this,” Bugsy finally says, trying to diffuse the escalating situation. “We call it even. You’ve found me and now I know. Next time I come out here for a nice relaxing lunch, we can share it.”

Probably the strangest bargain that Bugsy’s ever tried to make, but he’s desperate. Out here, it’s apparently eat or be eaten; even somewhere as mundane and normal as the National Park. To his surprise, the two Pokémon seem to consider it.]

Also, in that case, this would sound like he actually wanted to be around them, instead of it being something he’s willing to do literally on pain of death, and which is further soured by the fact that all this grudging false companionship they’re wrestling out of him just means he’s going to further neglect his boxes upon boxes of other pokemon instead.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14028116/1/Shining (0)

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[Why was she crying? She was lonely, more than lonely, she felt forgotten, neglected by the people around her, her own family.

Her parents were famous performers and singers from the Kalos region, the region where their main house was. They performed on stage all over the world with their respective partners, Zebstrika and Ambipom.

They were a very wealthy family with houses in Johto and Unova, in addition to the one in Kalos. In other regions, there were vacation homes and condos for whenever they visited.

She had three siblings, an older brother, Zander, who lived in the Sinnoh region, and two older sisters, Kelly and Ella, both of whom had partners, Smoochum and Cottonee respectively, although they hadn’t yet gone on a journey. Her sisters acted like she didn’t exist, if they did acknowledge her it was to mock her or taunt her; the only family member she was close to was her brother.]

Okay, so there’s two things you should have in mind.

1) What purpose does it serve that her family hates her except her brother, who still didn’t care enough not to abandon her? If this is just to set up why she has low self-esteem, you really don’t need her to be the family chew toy – her just getting overlooked would do it.

2) What reason does the rest of her family have for their behavior? They don’t need to be justified or even sympathetic, but they need to make internal sense. Her parents had four kids when they don’t seem interested in any of them – why? If they expected to like kids, that would explain the first one and maybe even the second, but how did they get all the way to a fourth one? Do her parents get something out of her existence, like dragging her to the occasional photoshoot dolled up, but it happens rarely and doesn’t actually involve her as a person? Is there some reason they felt they had no choice about kids, like religious beliefs that ban both contraceptives and abortion, and they resent the kids they never wanted? Do they only like kids when they’re little and lose interest as they get older? Did they want the kids to be performers too and then lost interest when each one proved not to be talented enough for their taste? Do Kelly and Ella hate her because when she was a baby she got extra attention and they haven’t let go of the idea she’s competition for that very limited resource? Do they also see her brother the same way? Does he not care, or is it that as a successful trainer he’s the golden child who’s already won and doesn’t feel threatened? Why did the oldest kid leave but the other two stay? If her oldest brother cares about her and is also old enough to be living with his girlfriend somewhere, is it that he’s unable to just have her come live with him or is it that he doesn’t actually care and it’s just he doesn’t outright hate her like her sisters?

[She was jealous of her siblings, they all had their own Pokemon, their own freedom, she had no Pokemon and no sense of freedom. She could leave if she wanted to, but where would she go? Who would go with her?]

This, meanwhile, just doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t sound like all her siblings are free if only the eldest managed to actually leave, and then you go on to say that no one’s actually stopping her from leaving – and while that might not be good enough in our world, as you just went over with her brother, kids can in fact just leave with a pokemon and “where would she go” would be the nearest pokemon center for her presumably taxpayer funded free travels.

[She didn’t have a partner and even if she did she didn’t know how it would work between them. She heard that some Pokemon will leave their trainers if they feel they are insufficient, and that was something she definitely didn’t want.]

So this can work if you really hammer in that she’s got terrible self-esteem, but it should really be the centerpiece of the chapter. We know from canon that pokemon leaving pretty much doesn’t happen, and that’s reinforced throughout fandom. This story itself is pretty obviously not building toward a situation where a pokemon would do that rather than instantly decide she’s its new purpose in life. So, instead of a poor little rich girl thing where you just say she’s sad and her family sucks, show it. Show her parents forgetting she exists. Show her siblings and their pokemon snub her every chance they get. Show how the one person she felt some connection to, her brother, first left her to be a trainer, then stayed away year after year, and now is settling down in another region with the girlfriend who means so much more to him than she ever did. Justify why she assumes a pokemon would either hate or just not care about her too, so she’s too scared to even get one because she’s sure she’ll only be rejected again.

[She nodded, “Yes, and he said that he was willing for you to come to the Sinnoh region for a while. And, who knows? Maybe you’ll find a Pokemon of your own.”

She frowned and hugged her knees, “I don’t think I’ll ever find one. Maybe I’m destined to be without a partner forever.”]

You should also get into why her brother doesn’t just send her a pokemon and why she seems to think a starter is some sort of thing the fates guide you to rather than something you pick up at the store. Given she seems really isolated, it’s actually quite plausible she’s ended up with very weird ideas about how things should go, and starting off with someone with a really intense and romanticized idea of what being a trainer is going out into the world and encountering normal trainer culture could be quite interesting. But in order for that to be true, there’d have to be any sense that this isn’t how it usually works rather than her saying stuff like this and being told by other people that yes, she should just keep faith that the stars will align and her soulmate-pokemon will appear. Conversely, if that’s actually how it’s supposed to work normally in your fic, you really need to develop that way more, because that’s not even close to the starting point in canon and if things work completely differently in your fic you’ve got to explain all that.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[She returned her smile, but then she frowned when she saw how pale she was. Liliana didn’t go outside very often because she was afraid of her sisters and their friends, who came over to the house quite often.

This day, however, was one of the few when both of her sisters were gone, out in the city with their friends. They weren’t expected to be back for hours, it was the perfect time for her to get a little fresh air.]

…she’s bullied endlessly at the house, therefore she never leaves the house?

[Sometimes, she thought they wished she had a partner so that it would just be them and their parents. Honestly, she always wanted to find a partner in order to go on a journey. She didn’t care about what Pokemon it could be, it could be something everyone has, she just wanted it to be hers.]

If so, it’d be child’s play for them to give her a pokemon.

It also suggests that it’d make more sense to say that her parents do favor her to some degree, even if they’re still neglectful, and have her be the one sticking around because she’s afraid if she leaves they’ll decide they like her sisters better after all and they’re the only people who at least sort of like her.

[She enjoyed watching contests on television, the Grand Festival was her favorite. She liked watching how well the coordinators and their Pokemon worked together without hiding behind layers of makeup and blinding lights. She honestly felt that being a coordinator would be a better option for her than a performer because she thought it wouldn’t make her feel claustrophobic.]

…uh. Pretty sure that is absolutely the same thing. Even regular battling involves blinding spotlights and your face getting shown in high definition on the screen.

[She knew that Persian were typically not very friendly, they were infamously very temperamental, but she had never heard of them attacking another Pokemon.]

If you’re saying that for even unfriendly and temperamental pokemon, it’s unheard of for them to choose to attack another pokemon, that’s saying some really bad things about the sport of pokemon training.

[Houndour fainted, its battered body shaking with smoke coming from the charred fur. The Persians had decided that they had done enough and left, leaving Houndour to succumb to its injuries.]

This is incredibly convenient. They show up right when she gets there, beat this pokemon into a pulp, then once they could finish it off without any risk of injury, they don’t and instead choose to abandon a large meal and risk it recovering and coming back for another fight so she can get it instead.

Either she should do something to actually involve herself in how things turn out, like throwing rocks to drive them off, or you could at least make it less super contrived by just having her find the injured houndour in the garden having presumably ran there to escape whoever was attacking it.

[She did as he told her to and set Houndour onto the bed as gently as she could. “Should we call the Pokemon Center?”

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, first,” he answered]

“Should we call the people who can tell how bad the injuries are?”

“No, let’s guess!”

If the issue is you really want her to stick around the houndour, you could just do that by having her go with it to the pokemon center. You already have her ultimate contribution being to sit outside the room worrying the houndour is going to die until she falls asleep in a chair. She does not need to be at home for that.

Author’s note includes “I know what you might be thinking, that it’s going to be a cliche and all that. Let me tell you something, I don’t do cliches, okay? Those are boring to me and I don’t want my stuff to be boring.”

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14028197/1/Starfall (10)

[Slowly my surroundings became more clear. The constant beeping next to me. The overhead lights. My hand was chained down at my side. ]

Chaining someone to the bed after their panic attack at pokemon and wild accusations is one thing, but it’s pretty weird to do to someone you just found in trouble.

[“Okay listen, you must have gotten caught at the end of a really powerful attack if your memory has been screwed with this much.” The nurse said slowly. ]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[“I guess I’ll start from the top. One of the rangers found you outside the wall, passed out. Now it’s rare enough that the rangers find people outside the walls, but you were even more of a peculiarity. You had no pokeballs. You didn’t even have any weapons. And you had no identification. Nobody survives outside the wall without Pokemon.”]

There’s nothing peculiar about that. Clearly, he was attacked, knocked unconscious, and robbed. After all, people carry identification and as she just said, he must have had pokemon to be in the area. He’s missing both because both were taken. Only after he starts insisting he has no pokemon should anyone start wondering how he got there without pokemon.

[“Welcome to Starfall. The region trapped outside of space and time. When Dialga and Palkia raged their war for centuries, many people were trapped here. Different people from different regions all dropped into this dangerous land to try and survive.]

…never mind, so apparently it’s even less peculiar, because they already know people just spontaneously appear in their world, so there’s nothing weird about at all about being pokemonless when they know he didn’t need to to battle his way through it to be where they found him.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14028229/1/Flightless-Wingmon (1)

[I’m practicing my writing skills by making some short stories. I watched a few videos by Brookes Eggleston on youtube, and he made a lot of good points in lots of them. I decided to start small, or small enough, to figure some things out before I get into the ham and cheese of writing a story.]

That’s not a bad idea, and I also like that you’re trying to jump right into things, but you don’t introduce any of these characters or set up the context for why their antics matter. And if the plot is about him helping get two of the other pokemon together, it’d probably be wise to open with him intending to do that, rather than doing pranks for the sake of pranks that eventually meander into them having a brief conversation.

[‘T-Talia,’ He stammered out. ‘What are you doing here?’]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14028825/1/Pokemon-Nudist-Misfortunes-of-Selene-and-Liliie (3)

You misspelled Lillie’s name in your title. Also, it’s “prologue”.

[ Loosely follows the storyline of Pokemon Sun/Moon/Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon.]

From what you have here, you’re using USUM. Unless you’re actually taking SM-only scenes as well, you shouldn’t be listing both.

[When she was in the middle, however, she heard some Pokemon flies.]

Believe you mean “some flying pokemon” as spearow are not a kind of fly.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[Suddenly, Lillie was able to hear female voices “Go, Litten!”]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[She was around the age of Lillie, 19 or something like that. She was rather cute, beautiful even. She was seemingly fit, with visible abs, and seemed pretty normal in terms of appearance. There was nothing weird about her… except one thing.

Aside from a red hat with a Pokeball symbol on it and a bag hanging on her shoulder, Selene wasn’t wearing a single piece of clothing. Everything, from her C-cup-sized breasts to her pussy partially covered by heart-shaped pubic hair, was visible to the public. And she didn’t even seem to care about it at all.]

I feel like if you’re writing a fic centered around someone running around naked on a tropical island, you should probably mention she’s got dark enough skin that she isn’t just one big sunburn by now. Also presumably some pretty calloused feet – though you might instead consider that if she’s wearing a hat she could just be wearing sandals too.

Okay, so if anyone remembers the occasional “let me talk about how persecuted I am as a pokemon-fucker” this appears to be that but for public nudity, which is still very silly but at least isn’t tying your self-expression to raping slaves.

Very suspicious about the skin color thing, though.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14028862/1/Pokemon-A-new-journey-The-one-been-saparate-and-loved (0)

Your story does not need three titles, your title should be capitalized properly, and you need to use spellcheck.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14029336/1/Loving-Sister-and-Strong-trainer (0)

Capitalize your title properly.

[“You will recognize the survivors of abuse through their courage. When silence is inviting, they move forward and share their truth so that others know they are not alone.” ]

Okay so I think you mean this as a positive thing, but what you’re actually saying is anyone who does stay silent wasn’t really abused or not enough to count.

[“What if mother hit her if she answered? What if she would kill papa’s Charizard ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

In other words, in the sentence above it’s “Mother”, “Papa”, and “charizard”.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Write out numbers with letters.

[“Thank Arceus your alive oh thank Arceus” he sobbed uncontrollably into her matted hair]

Seriously not a thing. We’ve heard Oak talk. He’s not a worshiper of a pokemon that is not, in fact, your stand-in for Christianity in the first place.