Bluh. Just this, no reviews. Unfortunately, I need to sleep.
Manage to get from the very start of April to the end of October here in one go.
Ah! This was written waaay back in the day (just checked — the forum post says 09-01-2010), and at the time I hadn’t put much thought in what exile meant beyond “PROVIDE PLAYER WITH MISSION CONTROL,” so I didn’t really examine illogical details like those. Though I assumed that there were mailboxes due to this panel http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003848 and chalked it up to happenstance and Sburb providing for their individual obsessions, like dumping AR in a place with massive amounts of artillery.
Thank you very much.
You’re right on all the mistakes, and “knitting”… I think. It’s been a while. We’ll go with “knitting.”
C was going to one of Emily’s return nodes, not a gate, so he could get up top of her tower and base jump (without a parachute, because he figures it’d be a good way to go). I’ll swap in “return node” now that I remember they’re different terms!
You’re right, the ending doesn’t work from there. I cut out Emily’s line about the Dersites thinking the players were still playing the game. I can’t explain the line. It might have had something to do with the prank attack on Hephaestus confusing the Queen but was probably just a sloppy mistake.
God, I’m replying to this so late. Sorry, I’ve been really lazy about comments lately.
The blowjobs this is actually due to the fact that it was a kinkmeme prompt. The original prompt was something to the effect of “Snowman walks into the communal showers and blows everyone, emphasis on facials”. I couldn’t make the whole walks-into-the-showers thing work IC, so I tried to keep the spirit of the kink. But as you pointed out, it isn’t internally consistent. That happened a lot in the early fills where I was trying to fill someone else’s request while still following a sort of logical progression. It didn’t always work out that well.
It’s the latter in this case – they’re just really drunk and both in very good moods for once. Their camaraderie is going to dry up pretty quickly once they wake up with hangovers, unless someone else manages to make them both very angry instead so they have an outside target to turn on.
I actually agree with you. I’m not exactly happy with how this fic came out, in retrospect…basically everything you said is true.
I hadn’t really thought about that! Thank you for pointing that out; I’ll definitely start keeping a watch out for flowery-ness.
I had so much fun writing
this one, and it was nice to be able to put in all the extra stuff that
got cut out to fit the HSO word count, especially the extra bits about
the poor JP. She could have attempted to fake-marry them, but after
being stabbed a couple of times for attempting to reason with them that
they were too drunk to properly consent, she just sort of gave up on
trying to argue with either of them. I think Snowman will eventually let
things go, even if Slick doesn’t, but that poor lady won’t ever be
returning to the city. She’s going to stay out in the desert where it’s
much, much safer.
I figured I’d end up writing her a little different because it’s an AU but I hadn’t realized I was that off the mark. Thank you for the advice! That’ll be great to have writing Aradia in the future.
Oh god, I’d completely forgotten I still had this up here. XD I had no idea people might still actually be reading this thing.
Thank you so much for the critique, you make several good points that I’ll be more than happy to take into consideration when I finally get around to re-writing this. I’d already kinda been planning on scrapping this, I think, because I wasn’t happy with it (and besides, we have a name for Mom now), but I’m gonna have to keep it now just to have access to this comment when I re-write. =)
…I, uh. Don’t suppose it’d be possible for me to contact you, perhaps over an instant messenger, if I have more questions? I, uh. Well, you have no idea how great it is to receive constructive criticism like this, and. It’d be nice to talk to you further? ^^;
433 days ago
Mmmm, I see what you mean. Unfortunately I’m just going off my own experiences, which are all strictly 20 years and younger in terms of age. So whoops, my bad? And the rest is just hypothetical theorizing in assumption that though she is tied to the universe it is the local geographic area that is most strongly affected by her cold.
427 days ago
This was going off of a general “spell” in Louisiana-based hoo-doo where flipping a person’s photo upside-down caused a headache. I didn’t come up with the idea until I did some research, and Crowbar wouldn’t have known as he isn’t an expert; since it’s his point of view, I didn’t feel it necessary to go into detail.
427 days ago
This is an alternate universe, i.e. free ground for artistic license. So canonically there may not be much evidence for Jack being abused by the queen, but there certainly isn’t much evidence that she didn’t, either. Further, it depends on your accepted characterization of Sleuth, but I went with mine wherein he’s more of a team player than Slick is or was, so I’d assume he’d pay more attention to his advisers, in this case PI.
427 days ago
Yes, it’s not one of my better works. I might go back one day and retool it to be more, well, interesting. Thank you for the comment and the typo catch!
425 days ago
It was more that the Handmaid didn’t really remember it herself–it was more like Doc Scratch told her. I admit, in retro respect, I probably should have cleared up that point.
412 days ago
He didn’t go after the guy’s wife. He went after the guy’s mistress, who was the entire point of the case PI was working that got him killed. The guy basically killed PI to keep her a secret. Also, I don’t see any murder or violence as being out of character for Droog when he more than has an excuse. Just my own view on things. He didn’t do anything to the wife or kids.
407 days ago
Noted! I did find it repeated once or twice too often. Thank you.
407 days ago
I’m surprised that you’re the only one who brought that up. In retrospect, making her silent was silly.
284 days ago