09/07/2014 Farla 8 Comments
Baltimore, Comics Baltimore (Comic), Comics
So another thing you have to be wary of with comics is that if they sell, they keep getting written, even if those involved have used up their good ideas. This segment will showcase this along with the fact comics hate women.
The next issue of Baltimore is actually two particularly short stories.
In The Widow, Baltimore visits a woman whose husband supposedly came home from the war. Husband is a vampire that’s been feeding on her, she turns into a vampire at the end and Baltimore talks her into opening the curtains and dying an agonizing death.
In The Tank, there are no women at all and he investigates a vampire that lives in a tank thinking it’s been preying on people, but actually he’s been trapped in the tank while totally different monsters pop out each night to murder anything nearby. The comic continues to be really unclear on the subject of to what degree vampires still have their original personalities.
Then the next issue is The Inquisitor. That’s right, the torture guy. And he’s found a new victim.
I think we can all see where this is going.
Yup. Comics! And since she’s one of the magic fairy people, she then comes back to life just long enough to put a Romanian Roma curse on him. We will see the curse next time and you will be amazed. The important part, though, is her fridging makes the inquisitor guy sad, presumably because damn, she had some great tits, and so he lets the writer guy go. So don’t worry, ladies – you will fail and die, but it’ll be really helpful to some other guy you don’t even know. Writer guy skips off having not suffered more than a backhand in the entire affair, having been able to lecture and yell at the inquisitor the whole time because the rules are different for him. We end with Writer Guy informing Baltimore that he’s told Priest Torturemurder that Baltimore will be in a particular place, and asking him to actually go there because Priest Torturemurder desperately needs to be put down by someone. I mean, did you see those tits? Criminal waste right there.