So.
Catching Fire.
I was thinking I really need to take some time to let my hatred die down to a nice simmer (and my fingers recover from endless typing and copy-pasting), but I couldn’t resist seeing how the next book began with all these lovely comments about DON’T GO ON IT JUST GETS WORSE ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN.
It’s not too bad.
Last time on Catching Fire, there was the dramatic smell of blood and roses! Then, President Snow showed up to glare at Katniss.
Then, they talk.
Last time on Catching Fire, President Snow told Katniss her underage makeouts with Peeta had better be really convincing, or else the districts might rebel against the capital she hates so much! Realizing this wasn’t much of an incentive, he then explained he’d kill everyone she cares about if she doesn’t do a good job.
Last time on Catching Fire, Katniss found out she had to marry Peeta.
Wherein Katniss continues not to get that marriage and babies don’t have to go together:
Last time on Catching Fire, the oppressive evil government finally did something oppressive and evil and shot a guy.
Then there is much unnecessary subterfuge.
Last chapter, to the surprise of no one sane, Katniss was told she didn’t do a good enough job at pacifying the districts by kissing her notboyfriend on stage.
Wherein the author figures we probably haven’t picked up on the Roman thing because it’s been too subtle:
Last chapter of Catching Fire, there was a lot of hypocrisy and then stuff finally caught on fire.
This chapter, more oppression! About time.
Last chapter, there’s a new peacekeeper and he’s actually enforcing the laws, which means whipping Gale.
Then Katniss does something!
Last time on Catching Fire, Katniss guilt-tripped herself into deciding to stay and do what Gale wanted.
You’re probably wondering how the book will get worse. Well, wonder no more!
Well. I think this book may well be better than last book, but it’s less enjoyable, if that makes sense.
Last time on Catching Fire, Katniss chose to grudgingly delay murdering an unarmed woman.
Luckily for her karmameter, she then finally does something good.
Last time on Catching Fire, Katniss met people who were more interesting than her, helped them out, then found the fence was electrified.
And now back to our scheduled stupidity.
Last time on fucking morons who can’t tell that footage of a place still fucking on fire after seventy-five years is probably reused, Katniss injured herself and was put on bedrest.
Katniss is still in bed. Fascinating stuff here.
Last time on Catching Fire, we find out this year’s childmurder games are going to involve Katniss, again.
I think this is the worst chapter yet.
Last time on Catching Fire, Katniss is worthless so she’s going to die for Peeta.
This chapter doesn’t have a dramatic ending line, so there’s that, at least.