And back to carapaces! Also, I’m twelve reviews behind my aimed-for seven a day.

The Empty Throne (WQ, Snowman, PM)

WQ’s one doesn’t seem right. As thematic as sackcloth is, when we see her, her outfit doesn’t seem particularly thick, and it doesn’t cover her face, either. Plus there’s no sign royal stables or animals even exist as I remember, and certainly they wouldn’t have bothered taking things like that when they were fleeing at the last moment. Snowman’s is interesting, and I like PM’s a lot.

Survivors Guilt (PM (WV))

Shouldn’t there be an apostrophe at the end of the S there?

Well, anyway. That was sweet, and also pretty depressing, though at least it’s ending somewhat more positively than it began. It’s nice to see the two of them finally talking about Jack. The lack of communication between non-pesterlog users is one of the weaker points of canon, and this is exactly what should come out between them at some point.

The Felt (The Felt and a wide variety of generally male OCs, from the looks of things.)

This is pretty terrible in every way.

Your writing is ridiculously simple, and full of weird errors, like the random capitalization and a wide variety of grammar mistakes. The stories have virtually nothing to do with the canon cast, even several steps removed, and most aren’t even particularly effective as completely unrelated, not-at-all-fanfic horror stories. (Of particular note there is the idea Doze sits around for decades to get the drop on people. The idea it’ll take half a lifetime for him to get around to killing someone is really not that horrifying, it’s just ridiculous.)

This thing has over a hundred kudos.

Careworn Victory (PM, (Jade))

Marvelous. I love how you write her (and how you write her seeing/knowing Jade through the ring’s influence) and there’s also something deeply satisfying about her having the ring and winning, and the ending is adorable.

This doesn’t have over a hundred kudos. What the hell is with this fandom.

Take It Slow (Itchy, Doze (Crowbar, Stitch))

The first of these is cute, but somewhat generic. The side characters are fine, but the two of them just seem too…ordinary, I suppose. The second one seems more like Itchy in a relationship, and the difference between his asshole behavior and his nicer behavior is more understandable because the whole shift is shown.

Prompts of a random sort. (Jack, WV (Nepeta, Snowman, kid Exiles, Jack, Slick))

Cute enough, but god, you’ve really got to proofread.

An Excellent Host (Snowman (Doc Scratch))

Quite nicely done. I love all the little details this is packed with, both serious and pudding-related, Scratch is well-written and it’s always nice to get a glimpse into Snowman’s life.

Inevitability (Rose (Doc Scratch))

…that was impressively well characterized for creepy Scratch with Rose porn.

Lo Fi Rave Guy (Doc Scratch (Black Queen, Jack, Kanaya))

A wonderful character study of Scratch. The idea of him haunted by his ectobiological past as Cal is quite interesting, and it makes him far less boring when there’s more of a counterpoint to him just knowing practically everything, and the writing itself is quite clever.

Hate You Too (Slick (Problem Sleuth))

This really seems like it’s not a complete story, or even a complete thought. The basic plot is okay – Slick’s stabbing PS because he’s a stabby guy and PS bargains for help instead of being left to bleed out by claiming to know something about Snowman, except there’s apparently some huge backstory of interaction behind all this where Slick has begun to find him kind of tolerable based on the inner narration, only that’s neither explained nor even really supported by the story. He was, after all, about to walk away and leave PS to bleed to death, and all the inner narration is doing is sort of lampshading it – he’s just repeating that he should hate the guy and want him dead, then that he sort of doesn’t for no reason. And PS’s behavior is just as inexplicable. How is he still here, still looking at me with tired puppy-dog eyes, no matter what I do to him? Well, yeah, why on earth is he?

Answers (Problem Sleuth (Slick, MC))

More of the same, only even moreso. These really would have been better suited to be single chapters in one work rather than individual stories in a series.

I’m going to list stories I don’t comment on for completeness’ sake, especially since I’m trying to do a tally here as well.

On Slick’s Taste in Cars (Problem Sleuth (Slick))

…this really sounds an awful lot more like Droog than Slick. And really, would he be the sort of person to want endless giant apartments when the guy lives in a tiny underground hideout?

Stupid Dreams That’ll Never Come True (Slick (Problem Sleuth, Droog, PI, AD))

A Talk With Dick (Problem Sleuth (Ace Dick, Slick))

Just Like Next Time (Slick (Snowman))

And despite it, she’s not yours. She’s still his. For all her coy looks and burning eyes and slow laugh, she’s still English’s, and no matter what’s happened between you, she’ll only ever play at being yours.

I really don’t like this verse.

Waiting (Droog (Slick, PS))

The Blind Spot and the Missing Piece (Slick (Hysterical Dame, Problem Sleuth))

This is a clever idea, though it rather strains credibility for Slick to not notice the similarities with someone he’s already dated – these sort of plots generally hinge on the person not realizing they’re interested that way. And…

The third is that she’s just not as great of a Problem Sleuth as Problem Sleuth is. He didn’t know that’s what he was after, at the time, but it was, and Spades Slick won’t lie to himself. He still likes her. But all those things he liked- the silly stories, the stupid insults, the feeling of just being a break from the real world- that’s all Sleuth stuff.

…is just such an infuriating way to look at it. It’s one thing to say he was only dating her because he was pining over someone else she reminds him of. It’s another to flat out say that she’s only an inferior knock off of a guy and could never be as good as him in any respect.

Hunting (Problem Sleuth (Snowman))

And this is all about PS being such a super badass that he can see through every attempt at acting Snowman makes because she is just so inferior to his super skills. There isn’t even a noir excuse here, the noir plotline involves the woman coming in under false premises and the guy falling for it.

If You Love Somebody (Snowman (Slick, BK))

Snowman murders BK for Slick. Seriously, what the hell. There’s some lip service given to the idea she was doing it for herself, but her internal narration is just Slick Slick Slick. Neither does it explain why she broke it off with him besides so that he could be buttbuddies with PS without her getting in the way and jesus christ do I hate this verse.

The closest there is to some internal motivation is maybe the idea was supposed to be that if she’s married she’s given up her freedom and belongs to the guy, but it’s not like that isn’t a bunch of misogynistic shit too.

If you’re wondering why the rants are over here it’s because where do you even begin with this.

Deduction (PS (Slick))

That was cleverly written.

Tools (Snowman (Doc Scratch, Lord English))

I find the way you’re writing Snowman incredibly unpleasant, and this is even worse than usual. I really don’t know why she has to be so passive and desperate, and then get humiliated at the end anyway on top of that.

Well, that was 14, so only 5 behind now. And we’ve gotten through 21 in total.

We were doing so well with girls. I’m just going to roll all the Midnight City junk into one ball for now.

WQ, Snowman, PM
PM (WV)
The Felt, mostly/entirely male OCs
PM (Jade)
Itchy, Doze (Crowbar, Stitch)
Jack, WV (Nepeta, Snowman, kid Exiles, Jack, Slick)
Snowman (Doc Scratch)
Rose (Doc Scratch)
Doc Scratch (Black Queen, Jack, Kanaya)
Slick, Problem Sleuth

So out of ten, five have female POVs. Not bad.

If we do the bunched stories individually we get another eleven to two, which is less good.