Wrestled with AOOOOOOOO for a bit, and managed to get a (hopefully) more accurate estimate of total carapace fic. There’s around 170 to go, including five particularly long ones and a larger number of reasonable length. Eight stories a day gets me done by this estimate.
Making a Mark (Black Queen (Jack Noir))
He may hate you for it, but some day, he’ll have a position worthy of making people remember him. Serve under him.
So I can see what Jack’s supposed to get out of this, but not what her motives are. She’s going through a great deal of effort and making an extremely tailored argument for him – an argument that includes knowledge of other timelines like the one he murders her in and the one he exiles her in.
Soveriegn Slayer
is misspelled.
And then you end with her tossing away her ring because…somehow she thinks this has to do with being known on her own terms.
Your husband may be the one still being prototyped, but you and Jack, along with your army, will be the ones the children should really fear.
Not really since they’re all squishy non-boss characters now, and Jack will probably backstab her in two minutes because it’s kind of what he does.
I really can’t make sense of anyone’s actions here. There’s half an explanation for Jack in particular, though given he keeps taking new names of his own initiative I don’t see why he’d be so invested in keeping his original one, and none for her or the rest. Certainly none for what this whole army business is about.
So this is the same thing as I mentioned yesterday – a story nominally from the Black Queen’s POV, but where we have a better idea of the inside of Jack’s head than any motivation she might have. She’s more concerned with helping Jack get power than anything of her own.
Pretense (Slick (Droog))
Slick and Droog are just FWB only Slick has actually fallen for him secretly. This is a paint by numbers exercise.
A Matter of Urges (Rose, Doc Scratch)
Huh. I saw the original, which to my recollection had fewer of the he’s-just-a-nice-guy bits. I really think it’s worse for them. When I read it, I thought it was reasonably ambiguous up to the final part if his behavior was all aimed at grooming her to the point he could fuck her and get away with it or he was just coming off that way because we know he’s a pedophile.
This version just reads like rape apologism. There’s ways for this to go down where I could see him rationalizing it to himself as okay and not hurting her so it was okay to do this to her, but she says no, she punches him to try to get away, and he hits her so she’ll stop fighting, and then she keeps begging him to stop. So why the scenes insisting he cares about her? Why the bit about how her mom is such a terrible parent? Why all the focus on how he just couldn’t control himself? Because people can and do, you know.
Shit, Let’s Be Parents (DD, Snowman (CD, Casey, Gamzee))
That way we can all be Dads!
It’s just dads, no capitalization.
Anyway…not really sure what to think. The idea of Deuce adopting Casey is amusing, and
“You don’t think I’ll be a good daddy, do you? You didn’t think Slick would be a good daddy either, and look how that turned out!”
Droog looks back at Karkat, who’s currently shouting muffled expletives into the floor, where he lies pinned by Aradia sitting on his back and Nepeta lying on his head. Droog’s not sure if this counts as a point for or against Deuce’s argument.
is definitely funny. But there’s no real substance behind it because you’re just running on plot fiat for why they’re adopting kids in the first place. Going into full-on parody of the plotline might work.
Lean down and feel sombre (PS (SS))
Considering this kind of thing is usually used for suicide attempts, I’m pretty sure climbing into a tub of water with a massive bleeding wound is the last thing anyone would do. I guess he’s concussed, but it’s not particularly clear that’s the reason he’s doing it, and the fact you act like it’s possible for the bleeding to stop after he’s soaked himself in water and that somehow bandaging him while he’s still in the tub actually works makes it hard to believe there’s realism involved here. (As does the fact he also didn’t go into shock from being in what must be cold water for god knows how long before waking up again.)
Membership (Karkat (Slick))
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.”
Storywise, this just sort of feels disconnected from anything. It’s not that they’re out of character, exactly, but like they could be anyone, there’s nothing really them about the story or reactions. They fit into the plot well enough, but so could plenty of other characters.
Segments (Slick (Snowman))
Flick of a switch, and the arm hums to life.
“Can you move it for me, darling?”
The first thing he does is grab for her throat. Of course. He never disappoints. Another twitch of her finger deactivates the arm, and it clatters to the table, cold and dead. She leans down to kiss his forehead.
“Good boy.”
This is so perfectly, terrifyingly them.
Bad end bad end bad end.
I could probably keep going with this weird AU thing but. It’s depressing.
I like my Midnight Crew alive, thanks.
…and then it became canon, maybe.
On the one hand, I love this so I want more. On the other, everyone’s dead and yes that is depressing as fuck. …prequel/non-bad-end fic?
Eight Pairings For Problem Sleuth (PS (HD, PI, DD, Snowman, Doc Scratch, Trace, Fin, SS,))
Princess (HB (Nepeta))
This is incredibly adorable, but I like even more how tempered it is, and all the background detail. You do a great job developing HB and showing glimpses of the rest of Derse.
Toughening Up (Droog (Aradia))
It’s a pretty good story, just…it’s not Droog or Aradia here, but interestedly fucked up OCs sharing their names.
Black Queen (Jack Noir)
Slick (Droog)
Rose, Doc Scratch
DD, Snowman (CD, Casey, Gamzee)
PS (SS)
Karkat (Slick)
Slick (Snowman)
PS (HD, PI, DD, Snowman, Doc Scratch, Trace, Fin, SS)
HB (Nepeta)
Droog (Aradia)
Three of ten. We continue to have interesting tendencies regarding how often the girls show up verses the boys, as well, with one Karkat to a Rose, Nepeta and Aradia today.