At last, it’s the final chapter.

Effie’s introduced. How long she’s waited for this moment. I hope she’s able to enjoy it because as misguided as Effie can be, she has a very keen instinct about certain things and must at least suspect we’re in trouble.

That’s kind of decent, even if it is a backhanded compliment.

Incidentally, hey, it’s more animals rather than thinking things. Maybe Effie has lived her whole fucking life like this and has done this thing where she learns with her human brain.

But at least she knows why she’s dressed like a little girl, it’s to make her act more convincing.

But his smile is the same whether in mud or in the Capitol and when I see it, I take about three steps and fling myself into his arms. He staggers back, almost losing his balance, and that’s when I realize the slim, metal contraption in his hand is some kind of cane. He rights himself and we just cling to each other while the audience goes insane. He’s kissing me and all the time I’m thinking, Do you know? Do you know how much danger we’re in?After about ten minutes of this, Caesar Flickerman taps on his shoulder to continue the show, and Peeta just pushes him aside without even glancing at him.

And it’s a return to the squicky, squicky romance. Eurg, ten minutes of that.

Also, Peeta apparently isn’t dressed like a kid. I don’t like you, book.

They have a single loveseat to sit on.

I sit so close to Peeta that I’m practically on his lap, but one look from Haymitch tells me it isn’t enough. Kicking off my sandals, I tuck my feet to the side and lean my head against Peeta’s shoulder. His arm goes around me

On the brighter side, the book has managed to distract me somewhat from the romance squick with the squick of how she’s now a fragile little girl needing to be protected by her boyfriend.

Portia’s put him in long black pants. No sandals, either, but a pair of sturdy black boots he keeps solidly planted on the stage. I wish Cinna had given me a similar outfit, I feel so vulnerable in this flimsy dress.

So he’s dressed as the big strong man and she’s the delicate little girl. See, I knew the book could make it worse.

Anyway, now it’s on to the next horrible thing, they have to rewatch the games. For three hours. While their reactions in turn are getting televised. Katniss has a moment of frankly retconny upset because she doesn’t want to see people die again, instead of that specifically she doesn’t want to see Rue die, as Rue was the only one she saw that she cared much about.

She wonders how past victors handled it.

I think back to earlier years . . . some are triumphant, pumping their fists in the air, beating their chests. Most just seem stunned.

I think a lot of kids, no matter how well coached, would be crying or throwing up or running unless, again, very heavily doped up by this point.

All I know is that the only thing keeping me on this love seat is Peeta — his arm around my shoulder, his other hand claimed by both of mine. Of course, the previous victors didn’t have the Capitol looking for a way to destroy them.

…right, Katniss, yes clearly that and not a three hour recap on what should have been the most traumatizing period of your life is what’s most upsetting. Those other kids got off so easy.

Whoever puts together the highlights has to choose what sort of story to tell.

This is interesting and a bit of a return to the idea of reality TV and a narrative, but it doesn’t work as well as it should because it’s the end of the book and this theme just has not been addressed very well.

I think that’s a real problem by this point. The earlier it is in the book, the more passages stand on their own. The further in we get the more criteria there are to judge them, so the more ways they can fail.

This year’s story, naturally, is their love story.

The first half hour or so focuses on the pre-arena events, the reaping, the chariot ride through the Capitol, our training scores, and our interviews. There’s this sort of upbeat soundtrack playing under it that makes it twice as awful because, of course, almost everyone on-screen is dead.

See this is a really good, unsettling bit. It’s ruined by the fact Katniss just spent most of the book endlessly telling us how much she wanted to murder other children.

Anyway, she can finally see Peeta’s side of things (huh, it occurs to me now she never bothered asking in the days and days they huddled in the cave).

there’s no question he’s carrying this romance thing on his shoulders. Now I see what the audience saw, how he misled the Careers about me, stayed awake the entire night under the tracker jacker tree, fought Cato to let me escape and even while he lay in that mud bank, whispered my name in his sleep.

Not a hundred percent sure how staying awake was supposed to help. Staying awake and murdering the others, maybe. But I guess it nerves alone would do it.

I seem heartless in comparison

Oh god.

dodging fireballs, dropping nests, and blowing up supplies

Yes how DARE Katniss not pay attention to her man during the childmurder games.

But her side picks up a bit with the whole Rue thing, and they play it for all it’s worth, including the song. Although

they omit the part where I covered her in flowers.
Right. Because even that smacks of rebellion.

Because the book is still somehow insisting that was defiant.

Anyway, she does better on the romance thing later on,

nursing him back to health, going to the feast for the medicine, and being very free with my kisses

By this point Katniss feels completely disconnected, like it’s happening to strangers. Of the various realistic responses possible, this seems the most boring, and should at least go hand in hand with some sort of obvious upset.

A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers sweeps over me when they end not with the announcement of our victory, but with me pounding on the glass door of the hovercraft, screaming Peeta’s name as they try to revive him.

Yes, the filmmakers totally did that for your sake.

Stop thanking people, Katniss. I know you have no trouble disconnecting people and actions because you do it with every time anyone’s doing something bad, so try applying that to the occasional strokes of luck as well.

The president comes to give them their victory crowns.

his eyes, just inches from mine, are as unforgiving as a snake’s.
That’s when I know that even though both of us would have eaten the berries, I am to blame for having the idea. I’m the instigator. I’m the one to be punished.

Well, that doesn’t make sense.

Hm. On the one hand, I guess it’s nice to see Katniss being responsible for her actions. On the other hand, women being held completely responsible for relationship things is not exactly new, especially when even their edit job makes it clear things were pretty one-sided for a while. I’m pretty sure the whole snake/berry thing was not meant to draw any Adam and Eve comparisons and the way blame went down, and yet there it is occurring to me.

Capitol officials and particularly generous sponsors elbow one another out of the way as they try to get their picture with us. Face after beaming face flashes by, becoming increasingly intoxicated as the evening wears on. Occasionally, I catch a glimpse of Haymitch, which is reassuring, or President Snow, which is terrifying, but I keep laughing and thanking people and smiling as my picture is taken.

The book is almost over. We’re really never going to see it occur to her that she’s complicit by playing along. This isn’t even covered by the bit about how she has to be in love, she’s thanking people who bet over her death and she’s doing it because.

When they get back they’re separated again, so she’s still had no time alone with Peeta.

She decides to go find him but he’s not out of his room, and when she tries to leave her room the second time she finds the door locked.

there’s a more insidious fear that the Capitol may by monitoring and confining me. I’ve been unable to escape since the Hunger Games began, but this feels different, much more personal. This feels like I’ve been imprisoned for a crime and I’m awaiting sentencing.

The book’s endless, endless insistence that whatever’s happening right this moment is the worst thing is very tiresome.

Anyway, interview time!

Caesar gives her a warm hug. I’m sure this totally means something from the guy who’s seen a thousand kids go off to their deaths.

We’re going to have a fabulous time,” he says, giving my cheek a reassuring pat.
“I’m not good at talking about myself,” I say.
“Nothing you say will be wrong,” he says.
And I think, Oh, Caesar, if only that were true. But actually, President Snow may be arranging some sort of “accident” for me as we speak.

Katniss, he doesn’t give a fuck. He may even know and he’s just trying to get you to shut up and give one good performance before you disappear.

We sit somewhat formally on the love seat, but Caesar says, “Oh, go ahead and curl up next to him if you want. It looked very sweet.” So I tuck my feet up and Peeta pulls me in close to him.

And again. Because boys are protectors.

Caesar Flickerman is wonderful, teasing, joking, getting choked up when the occasion presents itself.

You realize all of that is acting, right Katniss?

Anyway they want to know when Katniss fell in love, and she has no idea what to say for when because she’s still not currently in love, exactly. Caesar prompts her about the bit where she said his name after the announcement.

“Yes, I guess that was it. I mean, until that point, I just tried not to think about what my feelings might be, honestly, because it was so confusing and it only made things worse if I actually cared about him. But then, in the tree, everything changed,” I say.
“Why do you think that was?” urges Caesar.
“Maybe . . . because for the first time . . . there was a chance I could keep him,” I say.

That’s actually a pretty good bit. I wish the actual romance had been handled more like that.

Caesar pulls out a handkerchief and has to take a moment because he’s so moved.

HE DOESN’T ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK!

You know, I’m calling OOC. Katniss views Peeta as constantly acting. There is no way she’d be like that and yet assume everyone else is perfectly sincere. This is ridiculous.

I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks, “So now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?”
I turn in to him. “Put you somewhere you can’t get hurt.” And when he kisses me, people in the room actually sigh.

This is so fucked up.

Anyway, then they move smoothly onto the topic of all their horrible injuries and it turns out Peeta lost a leg.

That’s stupid, book.

It’s quite possible that he could lose a leg from the infection, but it was only blood loss and he was still hobbling around on it minutes before they left. Also, they have magic science, I’m sure something as minor as a limb transplant isn’t going to slow them down. These people either manages eye transplants, some from mutilated bodies, or grew human eyes on purpose.

I can’t help feeling upset about it to the extent that I’m afraid I might cry and then I remember everyone in the country is watching me so I just bury my face in Peeta’s shirt. It takes them a couple of minutes to coax me back out because it’s better in the shirt, where no one can see me, and when I do come out, Caesar backs off questioning me so I can recover.

This is nauseating.

But finally they have to ask the berry question.

“I don’t know, I just . . . couldn’t bear the thought of . . . being without him.”

That’s really not that hard of an answer. I mean, that’s pretty much was double suicide normally means.

Back in her room she finds that once again someone’s returned the mockingjay pin, because once again Katniss totally forgot about it. This is actually a really bizarre thing, a big deal was made over it but it mostly shows up in the story with someone reminding Katniss she left it somewhere.

We barely have time to say good-bye to Cinna and Portia, although we’ll see them in a few months, when we tour the districts for a round of victory ceremonies.

BULLSHIT

Katniss said that information between the districts is so heavily controlled that they probably blocked the entire conversation she and Rue had because it contained such subversive information as “I climb trees in the orchard”. There is no way they can let the winners of the games tour the districts unless they kill them at the end.

The train on the way back takes a quick break to refuel.

Peeta and I walk down along the track, hand in hand, and I can’t find anything to say now that we’re alone. He stops to gather a bunch of wildflowers for me. When he presents them, I work hard to look pleased. Because he can’t know that the pink-and-white flowers are the tops of wild onions and only remind me of the hours I’ve spent gathering them with Gale.

Oh god this is going to get worse isn’t it.

And she still hasn’t told him, even though they’ve already been through the interview and stuff.

Gale. The idea of seeing Gale in a matter of hours makes my stomach churn. But why?

Seriously I’m entirely sick of the “but I am not in love right?” plotline when it’s with one person, doing it with two is not happening.

I only know that I feel like I’ve been lying to someone who trusts me. Or more accurately, to two people.

You feel like because you are.

Peeta asks what’s wrong, so naturally she keeps lying and says it’s nothing.

But Haymitch takes that moment to show up and whisper quietly:

“Great job, you two. Just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone. We should be okay.”

Uh, I thought Haymitch knew that Peeta wasn’t acting? And that part of why he was keeping them separate as much as possible was implied to be so Katniss didn’t say anything to him about it? So why’s he suddenly telling Peeta before they’re back?

Katniss explains about the capital hating them and how Haymitch is coaching her.

And he realizes she’s acting.

And she says she doesn’t know how she really feels.

I want to tell him that he’s not being fair. That we were strangers. That I did what it took to stay alive, to keep us both alive in the arena.

And you should, because these are all good points. You saved his life, that should really count for a lot here.

That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children.

But please, Katniss, I already explained this. Marriage doesn’t have to mean sex and sex doesn’t have to mean children.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Peeta extend his hand. I look at him, unsure. “One more time? For the audience?” he says. His voice isn’t angry. It’s hollow, which is worse.

So on the one hand, I feel bad for Peeta, because he did think she loved him and that’s got to hurt.

On the other hand, the very first thing he does is once again force her into doing this when she can’t say no.

And that’s the end.

This book is so, so fucked up.