Finishing up Ladystuck!
Terrifically disturbing. I love how this builds, the creepy spiral visions, and the way it stops short of opening the locked door or otherwise explaining precisely what happened, it makes the whole thing so much more unsettling. And the idea of how the game handles timelines is so perfectly, sadistically fitting with what we’ve seen of it.
The visceral detail of all this, and the cruelty and desperation, is all really well done, but I thought the ending twist was underwhelming – cannibalism is completely standard to them, which takes most of the bite out of it.
You do a wonderful job with the atmosphere of this – a slow build giving way to a nightmarish sense of inevitability, without dragging it out too far and making it dull.
“No,” the woman smiles wearily.
The comma and lack of capital are only for when there’s a speech verb coming after the dialogue. When it’s any other line of narration, it’s a separate sentence, so it’d be “No.” The woman smiles wearily.
I love how emotional she is in this – her rage at the Condesce’s rage, her attachment to the other ancestors, her attempt at friendship with Meenah when they’re both young. And how she says right at the beginning she finds she is smart enough to be wary. She greets you as a friend but her grins are too sharp and she won’t let you touch her but only takes it in stride and assumes that’s just natural.
Hm. I like the style of this and the glimpses of different timelines, and I love the ending, but I don’t think I’m really following it right – it seems like it’s the same Feferi waking to different timelines, somehow, and I can tell the floating sandals connect to this but I’m not sure why their number’s always going down when they’re only removed in some of the stories. And it seems there’s different Terezis as well for each conversation, but the final Terezi seems to be stressed out as if she’s been the only one listening to all of it.
Wonderful. The repetition is just right to make a point without getting tired, and the wording is lovely and evocative. I also love Jade’s patient determination and planning. And while it was clear something was going on, the end took me by surprise – I was getting all caught up in Jane being the viewpoint character and so very off that I didn’t stop to think about the obvious parallels when looking at canon itself.