Last time on Mockingjay, Peeta now hates Katniss so he’s a nonperson. Katniss throws another tantrum and insists she can’t possibly stay in the same zip code as him, so she demands to be taken elsewhere. Elsewhere turns out to be 2.

District 2 is all tiny villages scattered around quarries.

None of this would present much of a challenge, since the rebels have 13’s airpower on their side, except for one thing: At the center of the district is a virtually impenetrable mountain that houses the heart of the Capitol’s military.

You know, fuck it.

Darwin has spoken. Rebels deserve their loss.

You know how you deal with an impenetrable fortress? You go the fuck around. They can’t defend anything but themselves. The fact there’s a really deep cave somewhere with an army in it does not make Snow one iota more safe as long as he isn’t down in it too. You know exactly where they are. You can mop them up later, after winning the war.

Historical “impenetrable fortresses” have been in places like mountain passes, where taking them was required in order to continue on to the rest of your goals. This is because even back when people were too stupid to figure out the concept of boiling water before you drank it, or at least not shitting into the river first, they could figure out that the people inside a fortress, by definition, are not going to chase you down if you ignore them and go to the next place.

Peeta and I visited during the Victory Tour, standing on the wide marble steps of the Justice Building, trying not to look too closely at Cato’s and Clove’s grieving families assembled below us.

You know what’d have been nice? Seeing that back then.

I mentioned then that I was really disappointed we skipped over all the districts, especially those of people Katniss killed. And this is really not enough, not at the end of a fresh wave of demonizing 2.

By the other districts’ standards, the Capitol babied the inhabitants here. Just by looking at the District 2 rebels, you can tell they were decently fed and cared for in childhood.

This is the first sign of anyone behaving sanely. You do indeed want the people involved in your military to like you, and you also want your soldiers healthy.

The thing is, if they know that’s the solution to rebellion, what’s up with their behavior in every other district? The reason governments usually do this is because they have limited resources and they’d rather have solid gold pipes than feed people, but we’re on the third book and there’s still no clear sign of this. The capital seems to have, if not limitless resources, then at least enough to allow for decent lives.

Each day, I do whatever I can to help. Visit the wounded. Tape short propos with my camera crew.

I would just like to point out that Katniss does not say she’s helping the wounded in any way, she’s just doing photo ops there to. So it’s “tape propos, then later, tape propos”. For sanity’s sake, let’s assume their hospitals now are well staffed and supplied instead of the hellhole 8 was, because the rebels are no longer fighting on the other fronts.

It’s much better here. Freer, no schedules on my arm

How were the schedules you completely ignored inconveniencing you?

For safety’s sake, I’m relocated often.

So she is in fact on a tightly controlled schedule, but it’s completely different because it’s not on her arm for her to know about. It’s always better to be jerked around without knowing what’s happening.

Katniss’ thoughts again clear up, in more telling instead of showing, so naturally she just keeps thinking of Millstone.

Snow has stolen him from me, twisted him beyond recognition, and made me a present of him.

He’s perfectly recognizable, he just hates you. His personality wasn’t just a matter of how much he wanted to make out. He’s capable of talking to anyone who isn’t you about any subject that isn’t you.

Anyway, speculation is that if 13 hadn’t made the effort, Peeta would’ve been delivered to me anyway. Dropped off in an actively warring district or perhaps 13 itself.

Katniss does not think about how, in that case, all the deaths that came from rescuing Peeta were completely meaningless.

It’s gone. He’s gone. Whatever existed between us is gone. All that’s left is my promise to kill Snow. I tell myself this ten times a day.

So:

1) Peeta’s whole self is based on being in love with her.
2) Katniss’ whole self is based on him being in love with her.

Back in 13, Peeta’s rehabilitation continues. Even though I don’t ask, Plutarch gives me cheerful updates on the phone like “Good news, Katniss! I think we’ve almost got him convinced you’re not a mutt!” Or “Today he was allowed to feed himself pudding!”

Katniss gives no fucks because he’s not improving in the only way she wants, and in that respect there’s no improvement.

“Prim came up with the idea of trying to hijack him back,” Haymitch tells me. “Bring up the distorted memories of you and then give him a big dose of a calming drug, like morphling.

What the hell. How can you describe the idea as “trying to hijack him back” and not realize this is completely fucked up?

No surprise it’s Prim suggesting it.

Katniss, of the pearl clutching over “unacceptable treatment of human beings”, has only one response to this: “Any improvement?” I ask.

Not really. I don’t care, book, drop it.

She shoots some birds.

Gale shows up.

“Any chance we’ll get to eat these?”
“Yeah. Most go to the camp kitchen, but they expect me to give a couple to whoever I’m staying with tonight,” I say. “For keeping me.”
“Isn’t the honor of the thing enough?” he says.
“You’d think,” I reply. “But word’s gotten out that mockingjays are hazardous to your health.”

You know, in America, it’s built into our bill of rights that you don’t have to quarter soldiers if you don’t want to. From the sounds of this, that isn’t something the rebels respect.

Gale says he saw Peeta and was really impressed by how awesome Peeta was at suffering and how he could never compete with that. He says that he wants Peeta to get better because it’s the only way he’ll have a chance with Katniss.

This is the opposite of how anything should work.

So, Katniss is distraught and Gale is emo. They make out because Peeta’s not there and Katniss is feeling miserable.

“What’s going on in your head?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper back.
“Then it’s like kissing someone who’s drunk. It doesn’t count,” he says

what the fuck book what the fuck

Katniss asks if he’s kissed other girls, to which he says yes, lots of girls, so she asks when he fell in love with her and he says he realized when Darius was teasing her about trading a rabbit for a kiss.

Darius was leaning on the post of the stall, tickling my cheek with the end of my braid, while I smacked his hand away. He was explaining why one of his kisses merited a rabbit, or possibly two, since everyone knows redheaded men are the most virile. And Greasy Sae and I were laughing because he was so ridiculous and persistent and kept pointing out women around the Hob who he said had paid far more than a rabbit to enjoy his lips. “See? The one in the green muffler? Go ahead and ask her. If you need a reference.”

This book is a nonstop creepfest.

On a completely different note, hey, we have our explanation for the swarm of redheads.

On the same note again, wait, is that some sort of slur against the Irish or something?

God I don’t even know.

Anyway. The commander in 2, like the one we met in 8, is another woman, Lyme. Not only that, she’s a victor. I’m not sure how likely it is a victor would also be best qualified to lead people, and also we were told victors were a bunch of savage monsters who loved the capital, but whatever. I’m sure she’s cool. Katniss says she watched the tapes of her game, but doesn’t bother to tell us what happened. I will assume awesome things.

With my newfound knowledge of Haymitch’s and Finnick’s treatment, all I can think is: What did the Capitol do to her after she won?

jfuiuhweiuop no book I wasn’t thinking about that and I was very happy not to why would you bring that up.

Moving quickly on, everyone’s trying to figure out how best to attack the place. Apparently all they’ve been doing is a billion variations on directly charging the main entrances.

I can see Lyme’s frustration building because so many variations of this plan have already failed, so many of her soldiers have been lost.

Lyme is so far the only one in the book who seems bothered by this.

Gale points out the obvious, that trying to get in through the entrances is a bad idea.

I’m not sure how much of this is that the author doesn’t know anything about war and is assuming her ideas are incredibly clever, and how much is that she needs a reason for Gale to be there and it’s easier to make everyone else idiots so he can look smart.

Gale’s plan is what anyone would have said the first time the conversation happened.

“We don’t need to control it if we give up the idea that we have to possess the Nut,” says Gale. “Only shut it down.”
“So you’re suggesting we start avalanches and block the entrances?” asks Lyme.

Boggs flips through a stack of blueprints of the Nut and frowns. “You risk killing everyone inside.

Oh, but “charge in with guns blazing and shoot your way in” wasn’t trying to kill people inside? What exactly were you trying to do here?

Beetee says there’d still be a way for them to escape, through the train tunnel.

And now it’s Dramatic Ending Line time:

“Not if we blow it up,” says Gale brusquely. His intent, his full intent, becomes clear. Gale has no interest in preserving the lives of those in the Nut. No interest in caging the prey for later use.
This is one of his death traps.

And what, exactly, was the plane you shot with a fire arrow? How much interest did you have in preserving the lives of the people in that?

More, the people inside are clearly able to communicate with the outside world. If they’re locked in and running out of air, they can surrender and be dug out. And if they aren’t allowed a chance to surrender, then the rebels have already decided that no one inside will live.