NaRe 2019 Day 9 (21)

A shiny gardevoir pokefucking fic. Several outright disasters. Some that sort of but don’t quite work without more polish, and one that actually got polished up.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13184220/1/On-the-Razor-s-Edge

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

“Its” is the possessive form. “It’s” means “it is” only.

It’s okay, four letters.

[You get in a disagreement with a friend, you argue, it devolves into shouting, and things don’t end well, what do you do?

It would depend on the situation I think… but I would probably feel guilty and go to them to apologize first.

Is that so? Interesting…]

It isn’t, though. Personality tests are a lot more fun to take than to watch someone else take. There’s ways of getting around this – one earlier this month managed to do one where some of the questions actually felt like they were leading into one another the way a person would actually ask rather than a computer program going down a list, which helped, and what also helps is to make sure the answers themselves are actually interesting and unusual.

What your character keeps saying is, “I dunno, I guess I’d do the normal thing, unless there were extenuating circumstances in which case I would do a different thing the way most people would.” Most people are going to feel bad about an argument with a friend. Most people want some degree of advice for a hard decision. Most people don’t want to bother people, but will if the situation is bad enough. Most people would feel bad to see someone else in trouble, but wouldn’t make a huge personal sacrifice to help out. Most people want to be happy and accomplish things and be trusted.

Having an ordinary/everyman protagonist is fine, but the interest there is in seeing them interact with the rest of the world. An ordinary person standing in a void talking about their ordinary self isn’t that. If you want to open just asking the main character questions about themselves, they need really good answers. If you want them to be like this, you need to open further along.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13184350/1/Make-it-Work

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[I didn’t have delusions of grandeur about the whole situation, however. I knew that I was a good trainer, but not a great one. Not yet, at least. The chances of me defeating even one member of the Elite Four were unlikely. Still, the future looked bright. I thought about traveling the world, earning badges from other regions, and maybe entering one of the global tournament circuits. I knew that becoming a champion anywhere was near impossible, but perhaps I could eventually become an Elite Four member or a gym leader in another region. If not that, maybe just another globetrotting trainer. Traveling the world… that sounded nice too.]

It’s nice to see a character who isn’t just aiming at being a master, but I think you should think through how their trajectory might change. This is the same itinerary as the standard gonna-be-champion character as well as matching up with how Ash himself handles never quite reaching championship level. If they’re not planning to go for a championship in a different region, why worry about the eight-badge prerequisite? Being a gym leader probably has a somewhat different skillset, so maybe they’d decide to hop around the regions focusing on gyms of a particular type or remote biomes that match up with their interest. They’re not currently a monotype trainer either, so if they’re thinking of getting one of those jobs they’ll need to decide what type they want to go with and catch more pokemon to build it up.

[She was one of my strongest pokémon, but the thing that caught people’s eyes the most was her coloring. While most Gardevoir had green hair, green arms, and a green inner-skirt, Azura was blue in those places. Additionally, her eyes and the horn coming from her chest were orange instead of red. She was a shiny, and a beautiful one at that. Strong and rare, so many trainers wanted me to trade her for their best, but I refused and I always would.]

Given the ridiculous shiny odds, it’s really not compatible to say both “I sincerely care about this person as an individual” and “I searched through literally thousands of pokemon to find the one with a meaningless cosmetic difference”.

[I loved all of my pokémon, but my relationship with them was limited by their intelligence. Most of them had animal-level intelligence. Some of them were a bit smarter than others, but couldn’t communicate at an intelligent level, even if Azura helped by translating what they said. But Azura had human-level intelligence]

This can work but requires you make clear what the rules on capture are. Does Azura have exactly the same rights and protections as a bidoof? Apparently, because you just had him discuss how he totally could trade her away at his whim but currently chooses not to. If you want to say this isn’t bestiality because she’s as smart as a human, then now you’re saying he owns people and slave-fucking isn’t really an improvement. People who are smart enough to say yes or no but have no actual protections making you listen to that can’t give meaningful consent either.

For Azura to be making a meaningful choice here, you need to establish that she had choices leading up to it. You go on to say [It actually wasn’t illegal in Hoenn to have a romantic, sexual relationship a pokémon, provided that they had human-level intelligence and they were consenting. ] – if it’s known that pokemon vary widely in intelligence, it’s pretty easy to say that applies to more than just whether or not you can bang them. If you ditch the gloating that everyone wants to trade for her and say something about how unlike the animal-level pokemon he had to actually convince her to join up with him, it’d be way less creepy.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13184689/1/Blank-Slate-A-Black-Paint-Prequel

Yup, this is way better, you handled the art progression great.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13184716/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Kalos-The-secret-of-the-hidden-kingdom

Capitalize your title properly.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

This entire fic appears to be summarizing events rather than really writing out scenes. Have people actually say and do things instead of the narration giving the gist of it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13184743/1/Gotta-Sketch-em-All-A-Pokemon-Romance

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[Yet before his bearings could be bunkled he was shot with intense, violent pain and his bodice lit up with mechanical, impersonal light.]

Don’t know what “bunkled” is supposed to mean and pretty sure you mean “body” and not “bodice”. I’d strongly recommend you find a beta reader because you have tons of these errors.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13184845/1/Dual-natures-Renewal

Capitalize your title properly.

[That zoruark…and that Eevee…and that espeon…]

Like the other two, “eevee” shouldn’t be capitalized.

[Beautiful Relaxing Music – (I’m not really sure where this music is from, it was on a live stream…I certainly don’t own it.)]

I assume this is meant to be a link and not complete nonsense, but even if it’d worked, you’re not making a movie with a soundtrack. Don’t tell people to go hunt down someone else’s work. Stop listing songs every few paragraphs. Your writing needs to stand on its own.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13185026/1/Mew-s-Legacy

Updates on your life and promises you’ll write something later belong on your profile, not as a fic.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13185129/1/Pokemon-Poison-Berry

[“I think I’ve seen those berries in a book before. I remember that they’re safe to eat, but there was something different about them,” James said.]

Yup, that’s a perfect competent/incompetent balance. They’re not total idiots stuffing deathberries down their throats, just regular idiots.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[ “Kangaskhan!?” They questioned.]

Also, questioned is the kind of thing that happens in an investigation. If they’re ?! at something, they’re probably asking or shouting.

[The rest of team rocket ]

You capitalized Team Rocket correctly the first time, but it looks like you didn’t most of the times after that.

The idea of Meowth hallucinating is a funny one, but there’s little tension to the story given the solution is to just wait it out and they even keep saying that they’ll just wait it out. If he’s not in direct danger from the berries themselves, there needs to be more going on to cause suspense – some reason they need to try to keep doing things even though he’s unreliable. For example, if instead of just happening on Ash and company and deciding hey, why not, they were setting up for the ambush already and had invested a lot of time and energy in it, meaning Meowth derailing that with his hallucinations would be somewhat more meaningful. Or if they had to decide between staying put for Meowth’s sake and pushing onwards for some important goal.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13185268/1/Unwanted-Fame

[It was night, so the player stopped played, of course, the player was a child, an inmature narcissistic child, a child who doesn’t know their future, but that’s what just MissingNo. thinks.]

You desperately need a beta reader. There should not be so many errors in just your opening sentence.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13185598/1/Pokemon-Plateau

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[Whenever I stand, My legs have become jelly. What even is so hard about this. Left, Right, Push, Fall.]

Stop capitalizing random words.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13185618/1/ash-s-fresh-beginning

[disclaimer : this story is bad]

Then try harder.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13185669/1/Pokemon-Gamer

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[For getting a full night’s rest in your bed your HP and PP have been fully restored.]

So, I think there’s an important distinction to be made here. Your opening says the idea is he can now perceive the existing world through the kind of informative popups of a videogame, but getting physically healed up to full by sleeping for one night isn’t how the world works. It seems like what’s going on is that videogame protagonist rules/benefits as a whole have suddenly started applying to him and only him and that, as a side-note, he can also see pop-up text to explain that to him.

[Adrian had become a bit of a pothead, blame Professor Oak. She told him it helped relieve stress and for Adrian who was a bundle of nerves that looked around every corner for a pokémon that might attack him, stress relief was something he needed, badly. Once he turned eighteen Daisy pulled a few strings and got a doctor friend of hers to get him a medical prescription. His parents didn’t mind too much, after all, Adrian’s life was the worst case scenario for anyone in their world and neither could imagine living it themselves. ]

If it’s important to you that he be using oddish-marijuana in particular, then say he’s self-medicating either illegally or that it just isn’t banned at all. The big discussion about legalizing marijuana is for its painkiller and appetite benefits. The anxiety effects are unreliable, sometimes outright backfire, and there are lots of better and safer drugs to accomplish it, so if there’s a doctor taking that seriously, he’d be prescribed something better.

[What Adrian doesn’t know is that he is “hated” by pokémon because he is of their ilk. He is the only human in all of history with the ability to level up and evolve in ways only pokémon can.

Adrian choked on his words as he attempted to say something. He couldn’t. So he decided to distribute his stats.]

While that’s a game mechanic, it’s not one ever found in these games. If he’s functioning like a pokemon he should have a set stat layout and some ability to impact that by focused training. The games even give a way to erase accidental stat changes and try again, and him having to eat a bunch of berries and then train all over again is more interesting than just saying the numbers change because he wants them to.

[“Twelve at such a low level? Arceus above… you would only see that kind of growth from a legendary pokémon. Pokémon who can no longer evolve come close, but even then twelve is above average. You would need to have somehow trained a pokémon with perfect EVs to get those sort of gains which is impossible given you actually have to fight to earn EVs so they would be a high level already. This is quite curious, quite curious indeed. Come to the backyard, Adrian. I want you to battle some pokémon.”]

…So in addition to all the other protagonist perks, and being able to decide what his stat layout is, he also just has more numbers in general than anyone else at his level. And then you’re setting him against pokemon that are lower level than he is as if there’s any point to writing that out.

If you want crazy OP characters and giving them interesting OP challenges to match is for some reason off the table, you could at least give him regular challenges instead of saying he’s higher level with legendary stats so watch him kick a baby starter unconscious.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13186578/1/cry-for-you-the-same

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Also, punctuation goes at the end of all sentences, not just when you feel like it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13186817/1/Brendan-And-The-Music-Box-ARC-Sane-Route

Nonstory chapters are banned. Instead of telling people what you’ll write sometime later, post that when you’ve actually written it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13186985/1/Who-I-Am

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[“Did you hear that? She says they turn into Pokemon, ripe for the picking.”]

She also says it’s only the nights of only one week a year. Regular pokemon are pokemon all day every day and Team Rocket has tons of trouble picking those ripe targets. Certainly Team Rocket is not known for their awesome decision-making skills but there needs to be some explanation of how they’re picturing this working. Do they figure they can identify who’s involved, capture the people during the day while they lack the pokemon strength to fight back, then manage to get a buyer at night and run off with the money before morning? You either have to explain whatever convoluted plan they have to make it work or else have them miss crucial information, like initially only hearing that people are going to turn into pokemon and not how extremely temporary it’s going to be.

[I frown. “Don’t you think that’s a little, I don’t know, weird?”

“What do you mean?”

“If these really are people, wouldn’t it be strange to,” I lean in closer, “steal them?”

“Hm, I’m not sure. What do you think?”

I shrug, trying to hide my real thoughts. “Meowth?”

“Why would I care? We capture my brethren all the time. Would it be different for you?”]

Also Meowth brings up an important point! Meowth may be unusual for being able to learn a second language but it’s obvious that what he hears other pokemon saying is about as complex as the thoughts he expresses himself. It makes sense James’ first reaction is “but this is a group that I’m part of and deserves special treatment” but if he’s going to keep getting in the way of his teammates catching them, he’ll need a better case – if it’s just a matter of sleeping with Jessie to infect her so that she’s part of the group too, that doesn’t really fix Meowth’s point that he doesn’t ask for them to give special treatment to his own group. I’m curious how you’ll be addressing this since “Team Rocket completely stops” is rarely a direction people go but Meowth’s already identified the hypocrisy at the start.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13187001/1/Atlas

[She felt the pressure of being the best pressing down on her chest, suffocating her]

How, when she doesn’t actually care about doing a good job and just wants someone else to win?

It’d be understandable for her to be stressed about being seen as the best trainer and having to constantly live up to that with nowhere to go but down, but she’s just complaining no one else is better than her to kick her out. It’d also be understandable if there was any actual job attached that she was worried about, since champions seem to double as police, but there’s no reference to her having any job other than fighting challengers. So she doesn’t have any stress about the outcome of those battles and actively wants to fail, but she apparently has nothing else she’s got to do either. And she’s not interacting with anyone otherwise so it can’t be that she’s complaining that being the top trainer changes how people treat her or otherwise messes up her social life.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13187142/1/Gyms-Rivals-and-Blast-Offs-oh-my

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Also please just use said.

[she asked in a sarcastic fashion]

[Zoey asked in a rhetoric fashion.]

[Britanie asked in a half-serious fashion.]

Sarcastically, rhetorically, half-seriously.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13187162/1/Team-Flare-Quest-to-save-the-world

Capitalize your title properly.

“Your” is the possessive. “You’re” is short for “you are”.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13187204/1/Pokemon-The-Rockets-Ascending-Part-II-Fall-and-Rise

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13187842/1/Arranged

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Spellcheck.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of individual people, places, or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13188467/1/Pokemon-Crossed-Fates

Your first chapter should be showing off what your fic is about, not just setting up for the interesting stuff to happen later.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Skip to toolbar