Time for the gym.

It looks pretty cool! And the music is certainly different, you can hear her shouting words.

It’s also all pulsing with light. I’m not really pleased with this being a gym, admittedly – this seems like it’s solidly quirky sidequest material, like fighting the eevee sisters in GSC – but it’s definitely inventive.

I can’t tell if she’s wearing an incredibly short skirt or incredibly short shorts, but on reflection, if it’s so tiny I can’t even tell the difference I’m marking that down for the objectionable column. The guy sprite is absurdly posed, sure, but it’s obviously so you can see his jacket, not his ass.

Current team:

L18 Azurill
L17 Riolu
L19 Psyduck
L16 Audino
L16 Snivy
L15 Flaaffy

Get ready! I’m gonna knock some sense outta ya!

L17 koffing

I can feel your desire to win pouring out of you!

L17 grimer
L19 whirlipede

And I win! Without too much fainting, even. Yay challenge mode, that was suitably hard.

YES! Azurill is evolving!

The oil-filled tail functions as a buoy, so it’s fine ever in rivers with strong currents.

It no longer looks so miserable! Also, now it’s a water type. Come to think of it, is there a point to the baby being a normal type or was it just some mistake they never corrected?

Oh, and so is Snivy.

When it gets dirty, its leaves can’t be used in photosynthsis, so it always keeps itself clean.

Sigh! What are you doing losing, Roxie?!

She did put up quite a good fight. Then again, now she’s talking to herself, and that’s pretty lame.

Well… I guess that means you’re strong! This stinks, but I gave everything I had, and I feel revitalized and refreshed now! Here! Proof that you beat me!

Second badge, then! And I get the venoshock TM as well. Apparently it does double damage to a poisoned foe.

Arg someone just jumped me as I tried to walk out.

Hey you! I felt like you were something special during your battle with Roxie. Please come with me to Pokestar Studios!

And then Roxie: You’re going to Pokestar Studios?! OH! I forgot! The old man! I have to get him back to work as captain!

So I guess I have to go to that place I don’t care about next.

Okay so there’s some bald guy talking to the yellowhair guy.

Hm… I see… That kid sounds promising…

And the other guy, and for some reason here there’s no script naming because who needs consistency: Indeed… And that kid should be here any moment!
Oh! And look who should appear! Welcome… to Pokestar Studios! Hey, Farla! We’ve been waiting for you! This is our boss, Mr. Stu Deeoh!

And then he walks forward. Bonsoir! Hello! I’m Stu Deeoh! Charmed, I’m sure! So you must be Farla. We were just talking about you!

Look, if this doesn’t involve beating people up, I don’t care.

I’d like to explain Pokestar Studios, but I need a little time to prepare! I’m so sorry, dahling, could you wait and eensy moment?

Then yellowhair: In the meantime, I’ll show you around Pokestar Studios!

Old guy: Oh, that would be maaarvelous! Movies! They’re amazing! Pokestar Studios and moves people all over the world! You can make sure Farla experiences its many charms! Well then, I absolutely must be off and start my preparations! I’ll see you in a minute!

And he runs off.

That’s my boss for you! What graceful footwork! Well then, Farla, come with me!

And I’m dragged off.

First, let me tell you briefly what Pokestar Studios is all about! Pokestar Studios was build for making films–it’s a movie metropolis! Many films are made and released right here!

Next: This is the theater! Of course, this is where the films are shown. Movie fans from all over also gather here! How about we have a look inside?

I guess this is an issue of games for kids. There’s a period of life where movie stars are automatically awesome. I am past that. I care not.

Here we are! This is the reception area.

Holy shit is this loudmouth going to tell me each individual place? Should I be grateful I’m not being personally introduced to walls and carpet?

Then some guy in a sailor hat who I guess is the captain from earlier or maybe someone else:

Oh, if it isn’t the scout himself! Thanks to you, I’ve made my movie debut!

Yellowhair: Wow! I’m glad to hear that!

Sailorhat: And who would that be?

Yellowhair: This is Farla!

We won’t be seeing a lot of each other.

I witnessed this Trainer challenging your daughter. It struck me–here’s someone with real potential! A fresh discovery for Pokestar Studios!

Look, just get to the end and explain whatever shitty minigame I’ll be avoiding this game.

Sailorhat: You beat Roxie, I see. You must be a pretty good Trainer. Oh, you know what? They’re releasing my movie now! Are you thinking about making a Pokestar Studios debut, too?

NO.

Then, I do insist that you watch my movie in order to gain acting tips from a professional such as myself.

Does no one listen to me?

Yellowhair: That’s a good idea! Farla, it should be a good introduction to filmmaking for you!

Sailorhat: Awesome! Let’s go!

And now I’m getting dragged around more. And now someone’s explaining we’re at the reception counter. At least female secretaries employed to stand there and explain why they’re standing there still remain after five generations.

Sailorhat tells me I can choose what movie to watch here. Hey, Nintendo, you know how else I could have figured out that vital piece of information? By seeing the menu where I choose what movie to watch.

Eight screens, I don’t see why that matters.

Anyway, the movie. It sucks even beyond the obvious fooling, flipping inconsistently between the pokemon and trainers on the screen.

… says Sailorhat. Indeed.

I hope you had a good time! How did you enjoy the movie?

… says Sailorhat.

What’s the matter?

Sailorhat: Ha ha ha. I’ve always dreamed of making my debut on the silver screen… Now I’ve fulfilled that dream…

What are you saying? asks Yellowhair.

Different people have different talents. I knew it all along. But I see my daughter stiving to balance the responsibility of being a Gym Leader while pursuing her own dream of being in a band. Although I’m a father, I really wanted to pursue my own long-held dream… If you stop pursuing your dreams, you life might as well be over, right?

… says Yellowhair. Indeed.

I’m going back to my duties as a ship captain for now. Someday, I’ll return to the screen! Until that day comes, I’ll leave all the starring roles to you!

Are we done here?

We had better get going. Mr. Deeoh should be ready by now.

He drags me to the filming studio, then explains it, then drags me inside.

Hey, boss! I brought Farla!

WHEN WILL THIS END

Well now, thanks for coming! First, let me reintroduce myself. My name is Stu Deeoh!

The moral here is don’t pay your writers by the word.

I’m the owner of Pokestar Studios! So, Farla, dahling, I brought you here because I have a very important request of you! I’ll bet you’ve figured it out, but I want you to be in Pokestar Studios’ movies!

Presumably for free.

The scout said you were absolutely positively oozing with star potential! And when I saw you, your potential struck me like a lightning bolt!

Yellowhair: Yessir, boss! There’s no doubt in my mind that this Trainer will become a top star of Pokestar Studios’ silver screen!

Old guy: I know, isn’t it fabulous?!

FOR GOD’S SAKE SHUT UP AND LET ME SAVE

I am sure you’ll be a big star, dahling! So I beg of you! Be in a movie! Today I’ve even called on an amazing, stounding costar for you! Brycen! Would you join us?

Oh boy another person to talk.

I’m Brycen… Pleased to meet you…

Can’t say the same. My dragon this time is lightning, right? That’s not really as satisfying as burning you all, I admit.

Brycen is Pokestar Studio’s pride and joy–our marquee star! I’ve prepared a positively perfect script for a big, veteran star like him and a fresh, new talent like you!

Those eyes… I look forward to acting with you…

And he leaves, presumably because he can see my eyes have more to do with murdering and he’s hoping he can sneak out.

Mhm! As cool as ever! So that’s the situation! If you talk to that fine staff member over there, you can shoot the film!

We’re finally done?

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes! To start with, try going big!

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Well now, Farla! Looking forward to working with you! Please do your best until we make a movie to release in the theater!

Finally done.