Huh, this area is kind of creepy! Remember it was desert last game? Not only is it hugely built up now, but there’s trees and fountains and grass, so this is undoubtedly destroying the local water table. It’s like LA!

One of the houses has someone offering to trade a petilil for a cottonee. Meh.

Wide lens. Slightly boosts accuracy. Meh.

In another house I learn apparently a pokemon does something on Thursdays.

People say they are brats, but they are just hanging out. Never judge a book by its cover.

…huh?

Outside: Places with ruins are being developed one after another. We end up losing parts of our history…

Hm. It’s sort of like the new generations and remakes. The second gen comes, and Kanto is shrunk down to a shadow of its glory. Now you have people who say they played the Kanto games, battled Gary and fought Giovanni and captured Mewtwo, but they’re talking about the remakes, not the originals. Soon, when people talk about Johto, it’s only the remakes they’ll mean. Before long, Hoenn of the secret bases will be remade and retconned.

Everyone’s chatting about how apparently Relic Castle is getting buried in sand, apparently oblivious to the fact that it’s the exposed bits that are destroyed by deserts, not the buried parts. I guess that means I don’t get to explore the place?

Sandile!

They live hidden under hot desert sands in order to keep their body temperature from dropping.

I love you, but I already raised you last time, so…

And there’s a fire stone here. Hm, haven’t seen any other stones so far.

Oh! A sea of sand! I don’t need Go-Goggles here! The Mirage Tower in a desert of the Hoenn region has disappeared. Unova’s desert is also swallowing up the Relic Castle little by little.

Huh, that’s an interesting reminder, and goes back to what I was saying earlier about the different generations.

I should replay the third gen sometime. I never did figure out a lot of the endgame, and at the time I checked everyone else was also shrugging in confusion.

Now matter how desperately I try to scoop up the sand, it flows through my fingers. It’s kind of sad somehow…

Wow, this is not a happy area of the plot.

Maractus

When it moves rhythmically, it makes a sound similar to maracas, making the surprised Pokemon flee.

Didn’t raise one last time, maybe I should…

Dwebble? Was dwebble in the desert before too? I can’t remember. Either way, poor crab, the desert is no place for you.

When it finds a stone of suitable size, it secretes a liquid from its mouth to open up a hole to crawl into.

Sandshrew! I kind of want to try raising one.

It digs deep burrows to live in. when in danger, it rolls up its body to withstand attacks.

Trapinch! Whoa.

It makes an inescapable conical pit and lies in wait at the bottom for prey to come tumbling down.

Darumaka, finally!

When it sleeps, it pulls its limbs into its body and its internal fire goes down to 1,100 F.

Huh, there’s someone named Psychic Future here.

Let’s talk more about trainer sprites.

This one is almost right! It’s a trainer pair where they’re in the same outfit…almost. The girl gets slightly shorter, skintight pants. It’s only in comparison that this annoys me a little – the outfit is fine except for the part where it’s the skimpier version of the male outfit.

Another almost right one. Here, though, there’s another minor problem beyond the fact that she’s got half-bare legs when the male sprite doesn’t, namely that hikers rarely expose half their legs. There are areas where you’d dress like this, but more often than not people prefer to keep their legs fully covered for practical reasons – blocking the elements, minor protection in case of falling, that sort of thing. Still, it’s not that bad.

Except for the fact her pants are evidently rolled up to right under the knee oh my god don’t you know how uncomfortable that is? And her sprite is even animated to show her kicking her leg up right where the joint would be hitting it! You only do this if you’re wading right then and you definitely don’t bend your legs like that while doing it!

And here we hit the bad. The sexy ranger outfit barely even registers to me when there’s her posture to consider. What the hell Nintendo.

In conclusion, it’s not that every single female sprite is horribly objectionable, but that they range from basically okay but showing more of their body than the male sprites to this abomination.

Moving on…

Hey, there’s water at the edge of the sandy plateau! I guess that’s why the hermit crab pokemon can hang out here.

Someone says they’ve been looking for treasure and haven’t found any, then I get something called a “funfest mission”, “Get Rich Quick!”?

Let’s check out the ruins.

Relic Castle… Apparently people and Pokemon came together here to create Unova.

Presumably by that you mean people made pokemon do work.

Yamask!

These Pokemon arose from the spirits of people interred in graves. Each retains memories of its former life.

Also, I’d just like to mention its shiny evolved form looks really cool.

No one seems interested in giving me a fossil. Damn, and I was looking forward to getting that turtle.

Sigilyph! Finally!!!

I MUST TRAIN THIS

The guardians of an ancient city, they always fly the same route while keeping watch for invaders.