Inside Celestial Tower:

Professor Juniper: Hi there! How were things with Skyla? Oh? you still haven’t earned the Gym Badge yet? Well, if that’s the case, I’ll keep up the field work until the plane is ready to fly. Oh yeah! Why don’t you try using this?

She gives me a lucky egg.

Professor Juniper: Giving that Lucky Egg to a Pokemon to hold increases the amount of Exp. Points received in battle a little bit!

I recall it doing more than a little. Also, explaining things was important back in the first game but every since they’ve had the little blurbs pop up for each item when you select it, NPC explanations have been redundant.

Having strong Pokemon will make it easier to fill your Pokedex pages!

Yes, I get it, that’s all you care about from me.

Litwick. You were a fun pokemon.

Its flame is usually out, but it starts shining when it absorbs life force from people or Pokemon.

And of course, its flame is very much evident whenever you see it.

Also, apparently my volcarona is immune to willowisp. Good to know. Volcarona also has a really terrible moveset – string shot, leech life, gust and fire spin. It can learn fly, though! Doubly good given I need a pokemon to do that for me.

Trying to continue farther on prompts the phone.

Hi, it’s your mom! Where are you? … Wow! Route 7, huh? That’s amazing! How are you getting along with your Pokemon? You know, the reason you can go to all these great places is because of your Pokemon.

Of course, the reason I need them in the first place is because they and others like them attack me when traveling…

So, always be grateful for them. And take them straight to the Pokemon Center if they get hurt! And that’s it from the former Pokemon Center receptionist…your mother!

You know, while I appreciate they’re giving her more characterization, the more this goes on the more issues I have. Like, why former? Can’t a woman have kids and a job?

Phone call ends and I’m able to continue. Right beyond is some nice dark grass.

Watchog! Always glad to see the evolved form of a pokemon I wouldn’t want to raise.

Using luminescent matter, it makes its eyes and body glow and stuns attacking opponents.

Well, let’s see if I can get into Twist Mountain.

…there’s a guy outside the opening. Damn.

And indeed, he stops me when I try to walk past.

I’m Marshal, one of the Elite Four! You look like you’re a Pokemon Trainer with potential, but I can’t let you into Twist Mountain. The inside collapsed, and you can’t get through!

Then why bother telling people they can’t enter? Why not just let them go as far as they can?

Fine, I’ll go to the damn gym.

The gym is actually pretty scary. See, you’re walking on this very wide mesh, and then there’s a maze constructed by areas that have been removed, so you have to go around, but the wind blows you right across them. You don’t necessarily need the windbreaks, though – you can also use the spinny things showing airflow to block your path at points.

Also, in order to get to the gym leader, you have to cross on these narrow strips, and two of them deadend so you have to let yourself get blown over several empty areas. I guess you’re just not allowed to be a trainer if you’re scared of heights.

And now my klink is evolving into klang. Wow, that’s a stupid name.

A minigear and big gear comprise its body. If the minigear it launches at a foe doesn’t return, it will die.

How the hell does something like this evolve.

Hee-hee! I’ve been waiting for you. You’re a tough trainer who can face the wind and not get blown off your feet! I’m kinda excited about this battle! Why don’t you and I have some fun?

What annoys me most is that her vs sprite looks so reasonably dressed. That is totally the top fourth of a person who flies around in chilly air.

L40 swoobat.
L42 swanna
L40 skarmory

God, my ferroseed is such a great tank. I have no moves that are any good against the skarmory, but it doesn’t matter. Every time it hits me, it takes damage. Every turn that passes, ingrain recovers health. Every turn that passes, leech seed hurts it more. I also got leftovers from some downloaded pokemon. It’s fully healed each turn. I pass the time using metal claw to see if I can get some attack boosts.

L40 sigilyph.

And we’re done.

You’re an amazing Pokemon Trainer. My Pokemon and I are happy because for the first time in quite a while –about two years, I’d say–we could fight with our full strength.

What does that even mean, knowing that Cheren doesn’t even seem to have his regular pokemon with him? Does it mean that these are her real team and not the weaklings she trots out for suckier trainers? If so, does that mean all the pokemon we’ve fought up until now have been the alternate weak teams?

This is an official League Gym Badge. But this is just a stepping-stone.

Indeed. Two more to go.

Wow, hot stuff! With that many Gym Badges, Pokemon up to L70 will obey you.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I’m still working up to L40.

Also, I want you to have this TM so that you’ll always remember this Pokemon battle.

The TM thing gets weirder every time. Everyone gives you one, but they always act like it’s some odd spur of the moment thing.

It’s acrobatics, so whatever.

I wonder what Professor Juniper is up to? I did promise her a ride in my plane…

When you walk away, you get blown through several boxes and right out the door. Ouch.

Somehow Skyla’s right behind you.

Skyla: Time for a quick hop in my plane! Hey, where did Professor Juniper get to?

Juniper appears and runs over.

Professor Juniper: Hi there! I hope we can get some good research done on the other side of the mountain as well. That’s right! I want you to take this flight, too!

Oh, dammit, so I was supposed to climb Celestial Tower first.

There’s someone I want you to meet in Opelucid City,

Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. Though the game is making a big deal of the mountain, I do have the fly HM, so I can always come back.

but we can’t get through Twist Mountain right now. We’ll just make a quick flight over to Lentimas Town! I’ll be waiting for you in Mistralton Cargo Service!

Oh, good, so I’m not forced onto the plane.

She runs off again.

Skyla: Hey! Professor! Wait up! Honestly… She just does everything at her own pace! OK! You come, too!

And Skyla runs off as well.

According to the pokedex, I still haven’t even seen all the pokemon that live in the grass around here.

Well, back to the tower.

A little girl fights me with her litwick.

Losing a battle is so draining. I feel really burned out somehow.

That’s probably because the litwick is feeding on you.

For some reason there’s a pokefan up here.

Why would you bring a little kid here!?

So why does the male pokefan have a little kid and the female pokefan a kid pokemon? I don’t usually associate male geek = having kids, but I may be missing some Japanese nuance here. Maybe the idea is that the male guy is sort of pathetic because he’s taking care of the kid rather than his wife, while the female’s pathetic because she doesn’t have a kid and puts her energy into caring for a pokemon instead?

Anyway, continuing on.

I’m here to understand the end of the world, but I don’t quite get it.

Uh…

People, Pokemon… Even if the world is gone, that is not the end.

Okay. So do you mean the end of the world you’re chasing is even worse than that, or that the “end of the world” you’re talking about is pretty lame? Because I’m pretty sure that if we’re using “world” to mean “the planet, which we require for life and stuff”, then yes, if the world is gone that’s the end of us too. So you’d have to be talking about some very metaphorical world, as in, the world is over if gay people marry!!!! Certainly such people do admit that, while it would naturally be the end of the world, there would still be people existing in the resulting nightmare of more people getting married.

Unless this is all predicting that we’ll escape the destruction of earth because we’ll be on other planets too. If that’s it we should probably get on it, because every couple years someone nearly blows up the planet with legendary godmon.

So, reached the top. I ring the bell and that doesn’t seem to do anything.

Golbat!

Flitting around in the dead of night, it sinks its fangs into its prey and drains a nearly fatal amount of blood.

Elgyem.

Rumors of its origin are linked to a UFO crash site in the desert 50 years ago.

I think this is the first pokedex entry to just have a blank third line rather than going into haiku format to try to fill up the space.

I’ve been considering raising one of these, they seem interesting.

Right then, that seems to be it. I guess I’ll go on that plane now.

Skyla says, Looks like the Professor’s reached a stopping point in her investigation. Ready to hop aboard my plane?

Actually let me talk to Juniper first. Leave no NPC unspoken to and all that.

Roger! Come talk to me when you’re ready.

I’m just going one space over to chat, jeeze.

Professor Juniper: Hi there! Looks like I kept you waiting. Sorry… Shall we give Skyla her chance to show off her piloting skills?

I guess that’s all. Back to you, Skyla.

Are you ready to get aboard the plane? The sky is calling!

Kay.

Hee-hee! Ready for takeoff!

Then Juniper turns to Skyla because these scenes must be as long as humanly possible. OK, Skyla, we’re ready.

We just established that!

Please take us to Lentimas Town!

And then Bianca runs up.

Bianca: Waaaaaaaaaaait! You guys! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hff…pff…I want to fly, too! I want to do some research in Reversal Mountain…hff…pff…

Professor Juniper: Bianca, you’re here?

Wow, cold. She’s here because you wanted her to research those tynamo.

You’re starting to show the dedication of a serious researcher these days! OK, everyone, off we go to Lentimass Town!

At last.

Skyla: Hee-hee!

Ahem I said “at last” as in everyone shut up and do it already.

Looks like everyone’s here! Finally, it’s time to fly the Unova skies!

And plane animation.

And now we’re out of the plane.

Professor Juniper: Well, I suppose I should tell you why I brought you out here. Cheren told me that a group of people calling themselves Team Plasma are planning to use legendary Pokemon to take over the Unova region.

Been there done that.

As you may know, there are two legendary Dragon-type

Holy shit if I have to write out “Dragon-type Pokemon” a million times for this game as well, I will kill people. Not game people. Real people.

Pokemon: Zekrom and Reshiram… But two years ago, Zekrom and Reshiram each recognized a Trainer as a hero. They are following those trainers. So Team Plasma shouldn’t be able to use the Dragon-type Pokemon…

Bianca: That’s true…What could they be planning?

Professor Juniper: There is much we don’t know about Zekrom and Reshiram… That’s why I want to hear what Opelucid City’s Gym Leader, Drayden, has to say about this. He’s a Dragon-type Gym Leader, so he might know something. So, we’re finally to the reason why I brought you.

I like the “finally” here. Remember, when you find your characters complaining about your writing, you’re doing something wrong.

I want you to go to Opelucid City and hear what Drayden has to say.

Which is why you dropped us off in Lentimas Town?

And, I would also like you to help me if something happens!

I’m irritated by your inability to understand names, so no.

Yes. That is the more reasonable response. It’s best not to get involved with Team Plasma. But… Hearing what Drayden has to say about the Dragon-type Pokemon will be really interesting. And more importantly, it will help fill up the pages of your Pokedex!

Bianca: I’ll be in the volcano just beyond here… I’m going to investigate the rumors I’ve been hearing about a rare Fire-type Pokemon in Reversal Mountain.

And she runs off.

Drayden is a Gym Leader, so unless you defeat him in a Pokemon battle, he probably won’t talk to you.

So when you say “is a Gym Leader” what you mean is “is an asshole”.

Man, you’re really earning your murder by legendary Dragon-type Pokemon.