Pokemon Black, Day 19

Last time on Pokemon Black, a castle shot out of the ground?

Okay, so people wanted me to do things with my team, but the game won’t let me actually leave.

Current Team:
PhotobucketKrookodile L47
PhotobucketEelektross L44
PhotobucketChandelure L47
PhotobucketMienfoo L45
PhotobucketArcheops L49
PhotobucketBeartic L46

Okay, so walking in.

FUCK YES SEVEN SAGES. Okay, six, but still. Boss battles, here I come!

Those in accord with Fate are preserved, and those who rebel against Fate perish.

So I’m good, basically.

When the Way is forgotten, duty and justice appear.

Uh…so the Way is bad, whatever it is?

One can lose the forest for the tress.

Is this your version of psyching people out, trying to distract them with figuring out what you’re saying?

If you make a mistake and do not correct it, that is a second mistake.

Because it’s working. I’m gonna assume this is talking about how people are insisting pokemon/humans stick together because it’s how things are.

Superior men understand what is right. Inferior men understand what will sell.

Wouldn’t “what is easy” be more appropriate here? I feel that’s the basic clash – N wants to do what’s right, even at cost to himself. Everyone else says that pokemon are needed by humans.

There are not two suns in the sky, nor two sovereigns over the people.

Are you saying we can’t co-rule?

Well… If anything should happen to our king, it would be disastrous. It would ruin Ghetsis’ perfect plan!

Wait, if you’re all in on his plan and fine with it, why does he have to keep catching himself with the “I…. I mean Team Plasma” thing?

Our lord N will be disappointed, but the six of us shall defeat you here!

Finally! Come at me!

???: Can ya manage that?

EW go away Clay. I hate many people this game but you’re currently vying for second place. I don’t even want you here to witness my glorious victory, just GO AWAY and take your stupid phonic accent with you.

Clay: Still standin’, are ya, Farla?


…and then all the sages back away…?

You… You’re Driftveil’s…?!

Gym leader whose ass I kicked, yes. Trust me, he’s not exactly super tough.

Clay: Hrrmph! Ain’t just me!

Oh god.

Oh god.

All the gym leaders just showed up. Even the ones I didn’t hate before, I hate now.

Except for the three from the first gym, but they had those damn monkeys so fuck them too.


Lenora: So sorry…


Not only are we stronger than you, but there are a lot of us!

Wait she wasn’t even talking to me.

Are there any cutscenes were people actually pay attention to me? N is about the only one!

Also, shut the hell up I beat every last one of you and I’m even stronger now and they were willing to take ME on.

Accursed Gym Leaders!

I know! They’re just getting in the way. Let’s team up to kill them faster before we battle! That’ll teach them to stick their low-level noses in when they’re not wanted.

Elesa: Ignoring Team Plasma… That would be a terrible thing for us Gym Leaders to do.

But it’s fine for the Elite Four…?

Burgh: Bianca asked us to come, too.


Brycen: …

Yeah you better shut up and get the hell out.

Skyla: I’m fine! Don’t worry!

How hard is this to understand? I’m not worried! I’m picturing in graphic detail how I’m going to make my dragon kill EVERY ONE OF YOU as soon as I get it.

Iris: No need to worry!


Drayden: Holder of the Light Stone, please proceed.

Oh I will, Drayden. I will. But I’ll be back as soon as N tells me how to get a world-killing dragon of my own.

Talking to them reveals some interesting tidbits. Mostly, the gym leaders are boring, but Drayden says: I can empathize with some of what you say, but I can’t forgive the way you reject everything else! But unfortunately, he doesn’t really explain what he means. The simplest explanation is he means I can empathize with [your problems with pokemon abuse], but I can’t forgive the way you reject [all other relationships between people and pokemon]! But since we have yet to see anyone even accept that pokemon abuse happens outside Bianca yelling at Team Plasma for doing it, that doesn’t seem like what’s meant. Maybe it’s just empathizing with being concerned about pokemon and humans, which would be the same thing as dumbass artist guy with his bit way back when of “I listened really closely to how you said pokemon and people shouldn’t be together, and it convinced me to be even more together with pokemon!”

Really, the only halfway decent bit is that thanks to Iris, there’s an extra female character so it’s not exactly even.

The sages are talking about how they won’t lose because what’s happening is important and they’ve done so much already.

Gorm: A single fallen leaf signals the start of autumn. We know our history. The emergence of this castle is the harbinger of change in Unova…

That is really cool.

The problem with the castle is that it comes out of nowhere, especially since the series has never been particularly magic-heavy. If, in the endless cutscenes, or maybe instead of one of the various people repeating “diversity is great!”, they’d set this up by saying that the castle appears for the legendary hero, it’d work so much better. The hero and their connection with the dragon seems to be getting into something like them being the focal point of a genius loci, so why not go all the way with that? You could even argue that since pokemon seem so much more tied to the natural world, that they’re feeding into this and someone gaining control of it isn’t just about the dragon but also resonance with the pokemon of the region. Or maybe it’s humans and pokemon – maybe that’s why Ghetsis convincing people mattered even when N was going to get a dragon and be able to force things, N couldn’t get a dragon (or wouldn’t have a full connection even with the dragon) unless there was a minimum buy-in by humans. Maybe even if people won’t go through with releasing pokemon on their own, the doubt is enough to push it over the edge.

That makes it so we’re literally fighting over the continent itself. The hero really does have the ability to remake Unova, because Unova itself has allowed it. He’s successfully argued that he should get this power because of how things are.

But whatever it is, it’s right on the edge. There’s enough people who believe in keeping pokemon, and presumably enough trained pokemon who believe it, to support my own bid for it – or maybe just enough to destabilize his bid, maybe it takes way more than 50% to get there while I can challenge him even with comparatively few supporters.

Anyway, time to get going.

Aaaand there’s invisible walls. The dark areas between pillars aren’t a sign you can walk through to the next area. What the hell Nintendo. Just put a wall there.

Guess I can only go one way then.

And there’s a dot dot dot ninja! He tells me to heal my pokemon and then N wants me to go to the inner level of the castle? Ninja friend, I saw this castle, it’s entirely wall. There is no inner anything.

Anyway, I guess that might trigger the boss battle, so I’ll go in the other rooms first. Ooh, Team Plasma people!

Ha ha! We, Team Plasma, were using the Pokemon we took from others all along!

Except they always had common pokemon or pokemon that seemed local… It would have been a good clue they were using stolen pokemon if they had weird grabbag teams when I fought them, plus it’d have been more interesting than fighting the same four pokemon over and over.

Aw, poor widdle Pokemon. They had to do what we told them.

Okay, so I’m supposed to think Plasma is evil, but isn’t this just proving N’s right and Iris is wrong about pokemon having a choice?

Next room. Ooh, item! Eh, just a healing one.

Everything is going perfectly as Ghetsis of the Seven Sages calculated and planned. He’s been thinking about how he can manipulate people’s hearts as he wishes.

Why always this, game? No one actually cackles and says they’re manipulating people, let alone for fun and profit.

We had been secretly building this castle for several years by overworking Pokemon that we took away. Without being noticed by anyone…

what the fuck

who even talks like that

I mean there’s tons of projects in history that had enormous death tolls from how badly the workers were abused and I’m betting none of them had the overseers describe it purposefully as overworking ever in history because it’s so fucking stupid.

Also there’s no way N can be included in that “anyone” since he knew about the castle and stuff, yet there’s no way N would support pokemon abuse for a damn castle. Also, I don’t care how you built it it can’t magically appear out of the ground!

Also how does that fit with the sage’s comment? Was the bit about the castle completely unrelated to the bit about history?

Also how the hell do you build a secret castle around the league how is that even possible.

Also nothing about this makes sense.

The healing and PC room has…two women?

I am Anthea… Trainer. Before you go confront my lord N, please take a moment to rest… Ah, good. Both you and your Pokemon regained energy. Trainers battle to practice their skills and grow in experience, but never to hurt their Pokemon.

I’m not sure why it matters if that’s the point or just a side effect. The fact it’s not my intent doesn’t change that it certainly happens.

My lord N has realized this, deep down in his heart…but he has spent too much painful time here in this castle to admit it…

Okay, so


The timeline doesn’t work. If N’s misanthropy is because of the castle, and they’ve been building it several years with the implication they only finished recently, then N was in the castle during the building stage, in which case he’d have objected to the whole overworking thing and also he wouldn’t have such issues with battling when he was seeing such a different form of abuse.

Well, so that’s pink hair. Yellow hair, can you match the insanity?

I am Concordia. I give peace and comfort to N.

Yes, I was a little skeeved you were both girls in dresses in the room where I’m supposed to get things. Thank you for validating that.

N has been separated from people since he was young. He was brought up with Pokemon… Pokemon that were betrayed, mistreated and hurt by bad people…

I…don’t see how that matters? N gets that not all pokemon are unhappy. His platform is not “because every single pokemon/human relationship hurts pokemon, I must get rid of those”, it’s “because ANY pokemon is hurt by a relationship with pokemon, I must get rid of all of them”. And…you’re confirming that’s totally true. Team Plasma’s existence has also proven it.

Ghetsis deliberately brought only those poor Pokemon closer to N.

Okay, so he’s chessmaster of this, kind of figured that one out ages ago when he said N was raised to be the perfect hero. I’m still not seeing why this is necessary. Again, N’s met a mix of them by now and his head didn’t explode, he obviously thinks any pokemon suffering is too much.

N was touched by their plight, and started pursuing his ideals, thinking only of Pokemon. N’s heart is pure and innocent. But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence.

See, I don’t see the need to say he was manipulated into this position. Idealists and knight templar characters are scary, and the game hammered in that N thinks in black and white for title drop reasons. It’s completely plausible he’d do this just because he met one mistreated pokemon.

Also, if you’re so close to him now, and he’s only doing it because he was manipulated, why not just say Ghetsis set it up?

Also, why the hell are you two even here? You obviously aren’t repeating the approved lines, why would Ghetsis want you getting near his perfect hero’s brain?

Hm, no sign of a PC in here… And more water I can’t surf on.

Ah, there’s the PC on the next level. In a sciency room with scientists, one of whom tells me apparently this is because Ghetsis is all about the super technology. Really didn’t get that impression anywhere else in the game.

Ha ha! Now we can even infiltrate the Pokemon Storage System inside every Trainer’s PC!

I feel like Ghetsis has too many plots. Why go through the whole N thing when you could just hack and mass steal all pokemon? Why give speeches if N’s going to enforce things via dragon?

If our king wills it, we can steal every Pokemon stored in a PC Box and release them all!

Especially when it seems a lot of Plasma is loyal to N’s ideals. I don’t see how mass release is fitting Ghetsis’ goals.

Well, to the PC.

Eelektross is still sucking, and it’s not going to be good against a dragon type. So, deino it is then. And I don’t much like the beartic. Neither heatmor nor durant evolve, and the vullaby seemed weak plus a poor choice when the dragon’s apparently electric. So, pawniard? Is there any chance of leaving and fighting to level up? Doesn’t look like it. Well, I guess that’s the one I’ll kick back off my team for my truth dragon.

As part of his plan to take Pokemon away from their people

That is a really weird way to put it.

my lord N entrusted some Pokemon to me.

Hm, that’s a bit odd. Maybe the idea is that N worries released pokemon would just be recaptured. That would allow his and Ghetsis’ goals to overlap easily for quite some time.

I’ve been spending time with them… and I don’t think I want to let them go. I…may not be cut out for Team Plasma.

Notice, yet again, there’s no mention of what the pokemon want.

I have to admit, I have it easy in this respect. It takes outright abuse for someone to be worse for a cat than being left outside. I don’t have to be perfect or even near perfect to know I’m better than the other options. Between domestication and the fact other people are worse than me, ensuring a constant supply of animals that need homes, I never need to question if it’s right to enjoy having pets.

If someone gave me a cat in anticipation of the day they could be released into the wild, my conclusion would end up being that they’re happier with me so for their own sake I should keep them, not that I just wanted to keep them.

But this doesn’t mean I keep all animals. I can’t keep a bird on anything but the most temporary level unless it’s above the minimum size my cats consider prey. My mother loves African greys, but we don’t have one. And we keep wild animals only when absolutely necessary and for the minimum of time, because we can’t provide a better environment for them.

Anyway, in short, the argument for humans and pokemon not to be separated requires someone make an argument it’s for the pokemon’s sake.

Well, onward.

Dammit I talked to someone and somehow they teleported me back to the Pokemon League. I guess that’s so you can leave? I thought it was kind of good how trapped I was. Oh, I guess it’s in case you need to level. At least you can teleport right back.

And the other one gives me a ultraball because they don’t need it…

Poke Balls… From my point of view, they are items that keep Pokemon confined. But for Trainers like you, they are a way to bond with Pokemon…

Uh, if it’s from your point of view, wouldn’t you, by definition, see my keeping pokemon in pokeballs in that light? While if you think they can be used to bond, why wouldn’t you see it that way for yourself?

Anyway, they tell me they’ll give me pokeballs if I run out? What, like I can’t buy them?

Maybe it’s theoretically possible to run out and also run out of money, and you can’t refight any trainers at this point? Except I’m pretty sure you can in at least a few cases, plus there’s people giving out daily items it seems and those can be sold, and also there’s so much money I can’t imagine any player running out.

And the third person: This Pokemon has become attached to me. But as far as I’m concerned, a Pokemon is just a simple tool. I don’t understand…

So that would be canon confirmation that, in addition to pokemon abuse being real, pokemon may still be attached to and fond of people who don’t care about them, so even “my pokemon love me” isn’t actually a valid counterpoint!

God damn Nintendo, could you screw up more.

Going toward the next level, another ninja appears, or maybe the same one. He says the battle between myself and N will show who’s the ideal hero.

It will also reveal how you feel about protecting the current world, where people live with Pokemon.

I am highly ambivalent at best.

Look, designers. You can’t railroad me and try to do RPG stuff at the same time. All I’m doing is walking forward, I haven’t given any sign of how I feel about this. If I lose, do I at least get a game over screen saying N wins?

Upstairs another ninja says that through the door is “the world provided to N”. What, that foresty place we saw in the opening is here? I guess that would explain how one character can be saying he’s warped from growing up here. He says he doesn’t feel anything going in but maybe I will? I don’t get this. If he doesn’t feel anything why does he act like he thinks it’s important or expect me to feel stuff?

…no, it’s just what looks like a play area at a daycare.


Keeping with stuff in the past, things aren’t actually interactive, there’s what looks like a skateboard area that you can just walk normally on. But unlike usual, clicking around actually provides text about how the basketball has a name on it and stuff. So N was raised here? I mean, sure, it’s isolated, but it’s not exactly people-free.

Well, nothing much from the Plasma members in the other room. One says that Team Rocket and Galactic attracted too much attention and that’s why their plans were thwarted. Another just repeats the whole bit about manipulating people into giving up pokemon.

Ooh, looks like I’m at the top, there’s only one door this time.

Aaand Ghetsis appeared out of the darkness! And like an inch from my face. You’re creepy, Ghetsis.

Ghetsis. Welcome, holder of the Light Stone.
The castle that appeared as if it were enveloping the Pokemon League is a symbol. It means Unova will change.

So I’ve heard. Why, though? Apparently it doesn’t have anything to do with reenacting the legend.

The king of this castle is the strongest Trainer in the world. He is accompanied by the legendary Pokemon. He has defeated the Champion. Added to all that, his heart burns with the desire to improve the world. If that’s not what makes a hero, what more do you need?

Wasn’t arguing.

Now that the stage is set, we can seize people’s minds and hearts. We can bring into being the world that I–no, that Team Plasma–desires more easily than you can imagine! We and only we will use Pokemon, and we shall rule the powerless populace! I’ve been waiting so long for this! I’ve kept my silence so no one could piece together what I planned.

…weren’t there a bunch of grunts saying this was exactly the plan…?

Now, those painful days are at an end! Go! Onward! Discover whether you have what it takes to be a hero!

What happened to trying to stop me…?

Wait. And what happened to trying to stop me! You mean I don’t fight you either?

Arg. Fine. I’ll just keep going until I get to N. He at least will fight me like a proper character.


N: What I desire is a world for Pokemon, and Pokemon alone. I will separate Pokemon from people, so Pokemon can regain their original power. It’s time to settle this once and for all! My determination is absolute! I will prove the value of my beliefs even if it means my Pokemon friends get hurt!

God damn game, don’t even try.

N’s beliefs are that this is the best way to stop his pokemon friends from getting hurt. It’s like joining a war to stop the other side from crushing everyone, it doesn’t make you a hypocrite!

So, he wants me to prove myself, and I walk forward. Still don’t have the dragon, though.

Oh, and N notices! It’s nice to have someone actually paying attention to me.

N: You can all this way to battle me… But Reshiram is not responding. You haven’t yet been recognized as the hero, have you? How disappointing. I actually kind of liked you a little.

Yeah, N, you were kind of obvious there. With the stalking and the bit where you wanted me to have a legendary.

Through our many battles, I got the feeling you might be a Trainer who truly cares for Pokemon!

I am going to assume my sprite is so attractive she messed with N’s better judgment, because there is absolutely no way he could have gotten this from my battling style. Seriously.

But I was kidding myself.

…I feel bad.

I mean, it’s true, isn’t it? We’re the interlopers just playing a game. We don’t. And having been through Unova for their endless talk of what caring about pokemon means (conversation topic, mostly), no one else does. It really is just N.

The idea of Trainers getting to know each other through battles is ridiculous!


That’s true.

It really, really is.

Someone’s finally said it.

Nintendo, do you think about what you’re writing? You are not convincing me N’s wrong.

You have two options. Challenge me to a fight you can’t win, or leave this place and watch the birth of a new world where Pokemon are free of people!

Wait, that’s an option? I mean, okay, I’d prefer both of the above, but sure, I can leave and watch you actually change things? Cool.

N: Zekrom! Come to me!

No, no N you have to give me the little popup box asking if I want to leave. I can’t say yes otherwise.

Oh my god Zekrom looks so ridiculous. Also in the cutscene, neither of us are there. And there’s no way we could be because it’s exploding everywhere.


Anyway, Zekrom’s appearance makes the stone activate.


And then a cutscene that ends with Reshiram standing in the same position as Zekrom in a way that makes it clear that they just animated each scene once and put them in both games, because now not only are we missing from the picture, but so’s Zekrom.

N repeats, as if I somehow didn’t know, that the pokemon were originally the same. He says it much nicer than everyone else did, so I don’t see why I needed those endless text blocks before. Plus, if I didn’t know about the mirroring and connection thing, it wouldn’t have been so obvious that Reshiram would probably appear in response to Zekrom.

I’ll tell you what that Pokemon is saying to you.

“I want to battle with you. Try to make me your friend and ally.”

Nintendo’s seriously doing the thing where pokemon totally want to join but have to go through a battle thing anyway.

It plans to test you to see if you are really pursuing truth.

Is that a synonym for about to throw a masterball? Hope so.

N says he wants to see too.

Now, catch Reshiram and make it your ally!

ugh this is so dumb

Huh, it’s not so great. Archeops got it to below half health with one dig attack, and its own giant fire blazy move didn’t halve Archeop’s HP. And it’s only L50. I knew it was a long shot, but I thought it’d be really cool if they were L70, so it really was practicality impossible to fight N without the opposing dragon.

What. Fainting it doesn’t do anything, it’s still there and just says “Reshiram is gazing at Farla as if saying “Try and catch me.” So I guess that’s why there’s someone handing out ultraballs, the idea is if I’m so crappy I can’t even catch it I can just keep trying forever. But the game gave me a masterball, how is this even an issue?

And why’d the game give me a masterball anyway, if it’s going to be this easy?

Hm, I can’t activate a battle by talking to Zekrom. And talking to N, he informs he I’ll be incinerated if I don’t pass the truth thing. But since I just fought it, that’s not really a worry.

And then it goes easily into the ultraball.

This Pokemon appears in legends. It sends flames into the air from its tail, burning up everything around it.

…that’s not new information. That’s pretty much everything I know about it already, except the part about its connection to Zekrom.

I can pick which pokemon to exchange. Hm, do I pick a fainted one or not? I’ll go with the pawniard instead, I can always revive the others.

Oh, N just heals my pokemon. Thanks N!

N: Now, I will create the future I desire! I shall sweep you before me!

How many times do I have to say I’m not opposing you?! God, N, I know you probably don’t get much positive feedback and definitely none outside of Team Plasma, but seriously, you made a convincing argument! I mean it! Let’s burn the world together!

Battle starts. I’m gonna see what happens when I lose.

Ooh, there’s pretty bell-like music. The sort you’re expect for a pretty glade or something. Unfortunately it gets more battlelike once the battle kicks in.

I have to say the pokemon’s attacks are great, they really get across the whole godly horror thing. It’s a shame that the computer is dumb as rocks, and the designers are handholding jerks.

Okay, so, they’re dragon/fire and dragon/electric. Guess what two types dragon’s resistant to? So it’s slamming me with electric attacks which aren’t doing much damage. But Reshiram also knows dragon breath. And dragons are weak to dragon moves. Yeah. That was anticlimatic.

Anyway, losing doesn’t do anything. N lets me leave, and I just go back up, and Ghetsis even says the same thing as if I still only have the stone, and then N repeats his bit about creating the world he wants. Would you just get on with it then?

So I reset. This time I manage to get Reshiram into a premierball, which I think goes well with the color scheme. As an aside, I’m 99% sure the catching algorithms for this game were set to be a lot easier.

Hm, let’s find out if I can win without it.

Ooh, a zoroak. Okay, that was clever, I sent out Archeops to attack what looked like a steel-type, then it turns into something else entirely.

It’s a shame it didn’t pick a form that’d get me to send out the wrong type, though. Is it just random?

It’s also a shame I have a bug move. So Archeops still takes it out.

Oh, another klinklang, so I bet zoroaks can only copy pokemon that are on the person’s team. Anyway, I get it down to low health and N pops in to ask if the world will end up choosing me. Look, N, I lost to you and you just sat around doing nothing. Someone needs to get on with the burning, you know?

N moans about how everything ruined. Then back to overland mode.


Zekrom and I were beaten. Your truth… Your feelings… They were stronger than mine, it seems…

We flip to the closeup of his face.

Reshirom and Zekrom… Each of them choosing a different hero… Is that even possible? Two heroes living at the same time–one that pursues truth and one that pursues ideals.

Uh, N, that’s the whole legend.

Could…could they both be right?

YES. How many times do I have to tell you, you’re right! I agree with you!

I don’t know.


It’s not by rejecting different ideas, but by accepting different ideas that the world creates a chemical reaction.

First, what?

Second, if this is supposed to be N’s turning point, no way. The people who won’t accept different ideas are the rest of Unova.

That is truly the formula for changing the world.



You don’t change the world by letting everyone’s beliefs stand unchallenged. That’s the way things already are. Accepting the world and other people’s beliefs is giving up on the idea of changing them.

Ghetsis: After all of that, do you think you’re still worthy of sharing the name Harmonia with me? You good-for-nothing boy!

And…my character is surprised. I’m not.

Ghetsis: To start with, I spurred N into pursuing ideals. The reason we reawakened the legendary Pokemon now was to give MY Team Plasma more power! Power to control the fearful masses! That at least was well done.

After saying you had to put your beliefs on the line and battle to see which one chosen by the legendary Pokemon was the true hero…You lost to an ordinary Trainer! There is such a thing as being too stupid! Add it up, and you are nothing more than a warped, defective boy who knows nothing but Pokemon…

Farla! I never would have thought the legendary Pokemon would chose a trainer like you! It caught me completely off guard. That doesn’t change my goal. My plans have not been disturbed. In order to rule the world utterly, in order to manipulate the hearts of people who know nothing, I will have N be the king of Team Plasma. But, for that to work, you–since you know the truth–

Uh, which truth?

You must be eliminated!

Okay yeah but back up, which truth? Are you just talking about that I beat him so I’m the one who should call the shots? Because that’s really more a power issue than a truth one. And he’s still got a powerful dragon to threaten people with. Or the bit about how you’re just in it for yourself? Because the gym leaders were already assuming that, it’s not new.

Whatever. So I finally get to fight?



It’s him.


Why won’t he die.

Why won’t he die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ghetsis keeps monologuing, freeing pokemon was a lie, blah blah, Douchy shouts like a moron, Ghetsis… is actually going to fight me?

N: Farla!

Et tu, N?

…oh, you were just expressing concern, not planning to steal my fight. I’m sorry, N, I shouldn’t have thought that of you. It’s just…this whole game, that’s all anyone’s been doing to me.

And now finally my fight with Ghetsis.

And I win, naturally.

Okay, actually, it’s a hard fight. But I have a billion revives and a pokemon with intimidate, so we manage.


And now he’s yelling about how he’s perfect? I don’t know.

Oh god, Douchy’s started talking.

Well, N?
Do you still think Pokemon and people should be separated?

Do you still think Pokemon aren’t people, Douchy?

Really, the established word choice here is so damn telling.

N looks away, so Ghetsis cackles? Does this matter? I won, remember?

Ghetsis explains he couldn’t do the hero thing, which is why he made someone for the purpose.

He’s nothing more than a freak without a human heart.


Also, god, it’s like Ghetsis is running down the evil overlord list for “do not” entries and doing them.

Do you think you’re going to get through to a warped person like that?!

He really sounded pretty normal throughout the game. I mean, except for the formula stuff. And he’s obviously charismatic enough for all the worshipful-type Plasma grunts.

Cheren: Alder, it’s a waste of valuable time listening to him ramble on. He is the one without a human heart!

You know, it’s not like only one person at a time can lack a heart. Also, I’m assuming Ghetsis meant the focus to be on human, not heart.

Alder: You’re right. He’s truly pitiful.

god shut upppppppppppp

N… I’m sure you have much to think about. I know you were not pursuing ideals because of Ghetsis’s

gah Nintendo that’s nonstandard! Ghetsis’

but because your heart was really inspired. That is why you were able to meet the legendary Pokemon!

So…you’re finally admitting he’s right?

N: But…I have no right to be the hero!

Alder: Is that so?

What are you and the legendary Pokemon going to do from now on… That’s important, wouldn’t you say?

N shakes his head. Good, N! Ignore Douchy. Next, make your dragon eat him.

N: Acting like you understand… Up till now, we’ve been fighting each other over our beliefs! Yet, despite that…Why?!

He’s a passive-aggressive controlling asshole who wants to always be right. Since he couldn’t beat you, he’s pretending to be your friend.

Alder: N, even if we don’t understand each other, that’s not a reason to reject each other.

That’s not what you were saying back at the League.

There are two sides to every argument.

It’s just that in this argument, one of them is stupid nonsense.

Is there one point of view that has all the answers? Give it some thought.


N: I want to talk to you about something.

Sure, N. You’re the only one I don’t hate.

We start walking.

It’s about when I first met you in Accumula Town. I was shocked when I heard what your Pokemon were saying. I was shocked because that Pokemon said it liked you. It said it wanted to be with you.

We walk further.

I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t believe there were Pokemon that liked people. Because, up until that moment, I’d never known a Pokemon like that.

The longer my journey continued, the more unsure I became. All I kept meeting were Pokemon and people who communicated with each other and helped one another.

Except “people” clearly can’t communicate. And if my pokemon liking me is just business as usual in the wider pokeworld, why am I even here? Why did he pick me as the rare counterexample?

That was why I needed to confirm my beliefs by battling you. I wanted to confront you hero-to-hero. I needed that more than anything.

More walking.

There’s no way a person like me, someone who understands only Pokemon– No, actually… I didn’t understand them either. No way I could measure up to you, when you had met so many Pokemon and were surrounded by friends…

This makes no sense. Is the game really trying to say that by ordering my pokemon to punch lots of other pokemon, I understand pokemon more than the person who can talk to them and apparently gets his team by asking them to join?

N: The Champion has forgiven me, and…

N, the champion is a douche who lives only to screw with younger trainers to keep his position. Don’t worry about it.

What I should do now is something I’ll have to decide for myself.

So he releases Zekrom.

Farla! You said you have a dream…

I did?

That dream… Make it come true! Make your wonderful dream a reality, and it will become your truth! Farla! If anyone can do it, it’s you!

Well, then… Farewell!

And credits roll.



  1. Ember says:
    You have to admit, though, the end credit music is pretty epic!

    (Sorry.  I am so sorry.  I am laughing at your misery.)

    1. Ember says:
      Anyway, though, this was a really thoughtful and interesting LP.  Brava.
      1. Farla says:
        I’m glad I did it this way instead of speeding through the game when it came out, I feel I paid a lot more attention than I would have otherwise.
  2. Ember says:
    Oh, also:

    aikinikeelty: (10:22:21 PM) …I was just going to say how it’s nice how if you’re a girl the most powerful character in the story will be a girl even if Nintendo is terrible about actually writing in female characters, and then I realized that that just makes people’s tendency to ignore your character in Black/White in favor of the NPCs take on really horrible undertones.
    aikinikeelty: (10:24:13 PM) Especially because they treat Bianca p. much the same way.
    aikinikeelty: (10:24:37 PM) And yet for some reason everyone is interested in Cheren.

    1. Colme says:
      It’s a solid point. I mean, would making N or even Ghetsis (when he is basically a cackling caricature) female really ruin the game somehow?
      1. Farla says:
        What would be really cool is if you could pick everyone’s genders! But considering you can’t even name your rival these days…
    2. Farla says:
      Ugh, yes. There’s a bunch of points where if I was a boy, it’d just look like bizarre favoritism toward Cheren in particular. Like, why does Cedric let them rush into the tower but intercept us? Why does Unova’s champion seem so much more interested in him?

      Of course, if you’re not a girl then most of the scenes have an even higher ratio of boys and no girls accomplish much in the endgame…

  3. Random Reader says:
    Ignore that last bit. The game sorta brushes N aside in spite of his nice character depth and everything. And, hey, just because he released Zekrom doesn’t mean it’s gone. The other pokemon he had were happy to hang around him. It could still support him once he gets over this little breakdown of faith his high-stake loss to the player and his possible father’s betrayal have caused.

    Meanwhile, I’d like to point out that for all you said about Ghetsis being a flat, cackling creeper (which he most certainly is), he is a CHEATING, flat, cackling creeper! That three-headed dragon thing? It doesn’t even evolve as early as he had it, if I remember right. Should be a couple levels highter.

    Eurgh that thing… My new Reshiram was my best way of taking it down, but it was faster. Cheat dragon got a critical hit and instakilled it the first three times I sent it out. … Yeah, I spammed revival things too.

    But argh. Words can not hope to express the sadistic glee I got out of finally frying the blasted thing. More than anything, though…

    I’m still left wanting to know how on earth Ghetsis managed to get that powerful pokemon a few levels ahead of its time. Does he have some sort of diabolical powers we don’t know about? /I/ want to know this secret evolution technique. He’s been such an odd but constant pain in-series, and the winning side definitely hates him.

    Think I’m allowed to use my legendary to torture the secrets out of him? If I could only track him down again…

    And, after a little research, I was wrong. Ghestsis doesn’t have a hydregion two or three levels before it should be evolbed. He has it TEN levels early. Gah! Forget it. I will find him and make him spill his secrets. This is the kind of power he should have been relying on. He warps reality by himself.  

    1. Farla says:
      Oh, he’s not the first. I’m pretty sure a number of gym leaders had pokemon a few levels sooner than they should, plus you can catch evolved forms early in some instances. It’s one of the only oldschool things about this game…shame they had to pick the annoying/glitch of all the nice old things.
    2. Ember says:
      Don’t you see him riding Zekrom during the credits?  Or is fanon messing with my memory?
  4. Veracs says:
    Hopefully you watched the credits all the way to the end.
  5. Igloo says:
    Yup, beating the Elite Four is considered a post-game thing in Black and White. The second time you beat them, they’ve gotten considerably stronger than they were a couple minutes ago, so it’s back to level grinding!

    I’m actually thinking that N will come back in the third iteration (Grey version?) or in the next gen, because I remember someone mentioning him flying overseas on his Reshiram/Zekrom, or something like that. 

    1. Fool says:
      It’s also the only way you can fight Douchy McFlamehair. Best get to level grinding, Farla!
      1. Farla says:
        But I don’t want to see Douchy ever again. Also when I beat him he probably justs smugs up like he did to N.
    2. Farla says:
      But… I already beat them. What’s my motivation?
      1. Igloo says:
        Absolutely nothing!
  6. Fool says:
    Congratulations! I loved your commentary. If only you could send this to Nintendo directly.
    1. Farla says:
      Nintendo would laugh and go back to rolling in their piles of cash.
      1. Fool says:
        …Yeah, they probably would.
  7. Dragonfree says:
    [As an aside, I’m 99% sure the catching algorithms for this game were set to be a lot easier.]

    As the resident game mechanics geek, yes, they were.

    In the third and fourth generations, the capture algorithm was standardized in a form where, essentially, the Pokémon gets four chances to break out. The game calculates a value representing the Pokéball’s ability to hold in the Pokémon, and then up to four times, it generates a random number and compares it to the calculated value. If the random number is ever higher than the calculated value, the Pokémon breaks out (after a number of wobbles corresponding to the number of checks before the successful breakout), whereas if the ball withstands all four attempts, the Pokémon is caught.

    In the fifth generation, most of the algorithm is the same (although this time it uses floating-point numbers so there aren’t ridiculous rounding errors), but the Pokémon only gets three chances to break out of the ball. The ball never wobbles twice anymore, only zero, one or three times, and it will never say “Shoot! It was so close, too!” anymore.

    To make it even easier, they also added in another mechanic where depending on (among other things) the number of Pokémon you’ve already caught, there is also a chance that the Pokémon will only get one chance to break out.

    On the other hand, there is an extra factor in the formula for the calculated value that puts a heavy penalty on trying to catch Pokémon in extra-thick double battle grass, unless you’ve already filled up so-and-so much of your Pokédex. I don’t even know.

    1. Ember says:
      “To make it even easier, they also added in another mechanic where
      depending on (among other things) the number of Pokémon you’ve already
      caught, there is also a chance that the Pokémon will only get one chance
      to break out.”

      Is that where it makes the weird noise as you’re throwing the ball?  I’ve noticed that.  How does it work?

      1. Dragonfree says:
        Yeah, that’s where it makes a noise and the ball shakes in the air and all that. It’s usually called a “critical capture”.

        To find the chance of a critical capture, the game takes the number out of 255 that it calculates from the main formula and multiplies it by a “Pokédex factor”, which is 2.5 if you’ve caught more than 600 species, 2 if you’ve caught 451-600, 1.5 if you’ve caught 301-450, 1 if you’ve caught 151-300, 0.5 if you’ve caught 31-150, and 0 if you’ve caught thirty Pokémon or less. The outcome, expressed as a number out of 255, is the chance that you’ll get a critical capture in this case.

        Or, in other words, it’s only really likely if you were really likely to catch the Pokémon anyway, which is kind of a letdown.

        1. Farla says:
          That’s really weird. By the time you have 600 pokemon, what are the changes you’d have anything left to catch in Unova?
          1. Fool says:
            Well, there are over 600 pokemon…but you’d only have, like 50 left, so yeah, it doesn’t do you much good.
            1. Farla says:
              Not even that. The final stages of pokedex completion are generally trading. By then, you’ve already caught everything possible to catch.
    2. Farla says:
      Hm. On the one hand, it makes the game easier in yet another way. On the other, I really like getting pokemon in premierballs.
      On the other, other hand it devalues the accomplishment of having a legendary in a pokeball or premierball, and what else am I supposed to do with endgame cash if not buy a billion pokeballs to have enough premierballs to get lucky?
  8. purplekitte says:
    It was nice to finally see your commentary for the game. In this iteration, Nintendo has managed to make N, one character who has good points, and a lot of failure with everyone else.
    1. Farla says:
      I want decent fic so much now! I fear that is Nintendo’s final torment.
      1. purplekitte says:
        I can’t say I’ve read enough BW fic to know if any of it’s any good. I can’t even recommend my stuff too much, because it mostly says stuff you’ve already said and isn’t that well written.

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