Hey, a nosepass!

It uses powerful magnetism to drag its prey toward it. It’s also been known to pull in metal, which it collects and uses to protect itself.

Huh, it would be better as rock/steel from the start, wouldn’t it? But then, it’s not like that’s a particularly great type combination either. Maybe it should’ve been rock/electric.

I always feel a vague annoyance at this. It’s definitely trying to do something different, with it specializing in a different type’s moves a bit, but either it’s too clever for me to know how to work or it doesn’t work.

Okay, let’s travel toward the plot.

Yay! The Pelipper is flying! says a curiously delighted child.

I wanna get carried around in Pelipper’s beak, too! Take me somewhere! says another, extremely foolhardy child.

That Pelipper… Do you think it’s wild? Or does it belong to someone at the hotel? says a mother who will probably be saying something similar to the police soon, after the pelipper suffocates and eats at least one of her children. It’s clearly a wild pokemon here because there’s food that jumps right into its mouth.

There’s also a pikachu named “Master Chuuster” who is a famous star on his first vacation in three years. I’m not sure if this is actually happening or if the guy telling me is crazy. I guess both are possible.

Apparently I can bypass the event for now and keep going right! To the beach!

If you’re interested in some part-time work, why don’t you try chucking some Pyukumuku? Ah, have I finally reached the area with the fuzzy slipper pokemon???

A bit further, someone explains that it’s important to get rid of them when they crawl out of the ocean.

They shrivel up on land and that’s not all… Our guests get grossed out seeing them and sometimes even get hurt stepping on them! So we end up with no choice but to chuck those poor Pyukumuku back into the sea!

Yeah, you sound super concerned about the pokemon.

I then go talk to a bunch of the black slipper pokemon, none of which I can capture for some reason. Afterward, he praises me for “rescuing” them all. Maybe you should figure out why they keep leaving the sea instead of assuming what’s best for them.

Oooh, mysterious holes in the sand. Staryu!

This Pokemon gets nibbled on by Lumineon and others. Thanks to its red core, it regenerates fast, so it’s unconcerned by their snack attacks.

Is it really? Corsola are terrorized by just having some of their spikes eaten but this thing gets entire limbs devoured and no no, it’s fine, really, probably because corsola have faces and can scream. I bet there’s some industry distributing staryu chunks funding silly ads about silly staryu not noticing fish eating them up, because they’re fine with it! So fine! Buy Staryu Chunks ™!

Sandygast? So like ghost sand?

Kind of disappointed they didn’t think to go the rotting fat blob washed up on a beach route. Also, really do not like the shovel. Giving pokemon actual items as part of their bodies raises way too many questions.

It takes control of anyone who puts a hand in its mouth. And so it adds to the accumulation of its sand-mound body.

That’s a little unclear. I’m guessing it possesses you to make you mound sand, but…it’s on a beach. How hard is it to get more sand?

I try swimming, and the first swimmer has one of the slipper cuties. Bounsweet evolves into a steenee as a result. That was fast.

 

This Pokemon is always bouncing about energetically. Other Pokemon are attracted by its lively appearance and pleasant aroma.

Okay. Looks way too human for my taste, honestly.

I then try to get more eevee, intending to evolve them while raising my team up a bit since right now a single swimmer is difficult. I fight for a while, finding no eevee, until I give up and go to the GTS.

Jolteon: When its fur stands on end, that’s a sign it’s about to give off a jolt of electricity. Take care, as sometimes lightning strikes next to it, too.
Vaporeon: Blending in with the water and erasing all signs of its presence, it patiently waits for its prey, fish Pokemon.
Flareon: Its average body temperature is between 1,300 and 1,500 degrees Fahrenheit. In its internal flame sac, temperatures reach 3,000 degrees.

Now, to head over to the mossy rock…

Oh, my spinarak is evolving! Excellent.

It spins thread from both its rear and its mouth. Then it wraps its prey up in thread and sips their bodily fluids at its leisure.

And a leafeon, of course.

The younger they are, the more they smell like fresh grass. With age, their fragrance takes on the odor of fallen leaves.

Smells like implied lifespans for pokemon, doesn’t it.

Now I just need to get an umbreon tomorrow and a glaceon presumably on the last, snowy island.

And while we’re here, let’s evolve some others. Growlithe + fire stone = arcanine! The fire burning inside its body serves as the energy to fuel it as it runs great distances. It appears in many legends.

Staryu + water stone = starmie! Its unusual body shape, reminiscent of abstract art, led local people to spread rumors that this Pokemon may be an invader from outer space. That’s a real waste of an entry. What hasn’t had rumors it’s from outer space at this point?

Finally, pikachu + thunderstone =

It uses psychokinesis to control electricity. It hops aboard its own tail, using psychic power to lift the tail and move about while riding it.

And she promptly learns the move psychic, which is nice, but I’d have preferred surf.

Back to looking for my cute slipper pokemon.

At last! Pyukumuku. These Pokemon line the beaches. The sticky mucous that covers their bodies can be used to soothe sunburned skin. How convenient!

So why do we have to clear the beaches of them? Also, why nothing about them vomiting out their guts?

It lives in shallow seas, such as areas near a beach. It can eject its internal organs, which it uses to engulf its prey or battle enemies.

Ah, because it’s in Sun, and I guess for once they were concerned about saying the same thing twice. Still, they could’ve said something about, say, people considering it a delicacy and inducing vomiting.

Okay, so now I’ll go into the hotel and continue the plot.

???: So you’ve come at last. Ah. But forgive me. I have yet to introduce myself.

Okay, so it’s a guy, who looks like he’s in high heels and a dressy coat. So, either Rotom was talking about the grunt OR Rotom was as confused as I was.

You may call me Faba. I told you before that I would show you someplace astounding, right? Well, that wondrous place is…Aether Paradise!

Good. With all the talk about how great the hotel is, I was worried you’d say your room here.

Let me tell you about Aether Paradise.

Aw, good NPC! Infodump!

Just as the name suggests, Aether Paradise is a veritable paradise for Pokemon that floats far out in the sea surrounding Alola. It is an artificial island, made entirely by human technology, for the protecting of Pokemon!

That’s awesome. I’ve been wishing we’d build artificial islands ourselves to help out animals.

Of course I’m an adult who keeps his promises. So I will prove to you that all I’ve told you is the absolute truth with a tour of Aether Paradise. You will come, won’t you?!

YES.

He promises I’ll be amazed. I better be.

And then Hau runs up begging to be allowed to come.

Oh? Even Kahuna Olivia has come to see you off?

But not Lillie. Hope she’s somewhere safe.

As a kahuna, I look after all the trial-goers who come to my island. They’re like my own children.

Where were you when I was getting my butt kicked by an endless line of wrapping tentacool, then?

Not that I’ve got any–I’ve never even gotten married.

1) Doesn’t everyone know this, given you’re a well-known figure?
2) Seriously suspicious why the developers felt we needed to be reassured she was unmarried and childless.

She then drops some motherly advice that we’re our own worst enemies while our best asset is our pokemon.

Hau: Thanks!

Uh-huh.

We head out to the boat.

Can you believe a big hunk of iron like Aether Paradise can float in the sea?! Hau says, while staring at the standard floating hunk of iron that’s about to take us there. Really, if there was a branch of Team Skull that wasn’t about kicking pokemon, he’d fit right in. Maybe he could start up Team Femur or something.

And it’s all cuz of the Pokemon holding it up. Did you know that, Bonnibel?

No, and I suspect someone was playing a prank on you.

I knew that/Really?!

I guess Bonnibel is one of those secretly sarcastic people.

Hau: Knew I could count on you to react!

So…it’s a lie? Or just that he expected me to be impressed?

He then rushes into the floating hunk of metal, super stoked to ride that in order get to see a floating hunk of metal because like, how could that even exist?!

Tomorrow: I visit a floating hunk of metal. Cutscene all you want, game, I can just close you.