I start to explore Poni and hit another cutscene immediately. Lillie is standing near a pair of trainers and their pair of pink pokemon. We closeup on the corsola for some reason.

???: Nice to see a new face around here!

It’s someone with the gangster guy sprite standing atop his…houseboatsub?

Lillie, spikyboxing: Oh my goodness! For some reason, we walk toward the sleazy criminal as he comes down.

Lillie: I-I’m sorry. Who are you?

Sleazy criminal: Me? I’m the chief of the seafolk. It’s my job to keep everybody together.

Lillie: The…seafolk?

Sleazy criminal: Yes, ma’am! What’d you think all these boats ’round you are for? We seafolk have spent years navigating the seas and searching out new wonders. When we find rare things, we bring ’em here to Alola to trade. The ports on the other islands are busier these days, but we still always seem to end up back here on Poni, eh? What did you all come here for? You collecting berries, like us?

Lillie: We’re here to visit the kahuna.

Sleazy criminal: The kahuna? Hmm. Maybe you should go to little Hapu’s place? Her house is the only one still standing on Poni, after all. Where else would you go, eh? You can recognize little Hapu’s house at a glance…thanks to that huge Mudsdale of hers.

Lillie: Oh! So Hapu lives here on Poni Island? Thank you very much, Chief! Let’s go, Bonnibel! It will be good to see Hapu and Mudsdale again!

Cutscene over, I am now free from getting dialogue forced upon me. Time to seek out more dialogue!

I live with my sweet Steenee sharing my Z-Noodles. I’m so happy, says some guy nearby who should be reported to the police.

A woman says, I think there are many more unknown Pokemon at the bottom of the sea. This makes a lot of sense, but we have entirely too many water types already. Even assuming ultra deep sea pokemon might get some weird types, water’s also full up on weird types. I’d be fine with some weird vent worms or whatever showing up, but it’s hard to get actually excited about new pokemon showing up based on the ocean, despite how awesome the deep sea is in reality.

I then visit some guy’s shop where he complains about being out of items and then hands me a magmarizer and electirizer. Then the girl there hands me an aerodactyl. Not the amber despite there being a guy who could revive it introduced already, the pokemon itself.

In ancient times, it ruled the skies. A widely accepted theory is that it went extinct due to a large meteor imact.

I then take this L40 aerodactyl and stuff him in a box.

The girl remarks on aerodactyl’s speed and wonders how I’ll use it in battle. By not. Maybe don’t hand out pokemon to random strangers next time.

In another houseboat: Are you a lucky person?

Yes/No

Not even a question, really.

Then you probably can use this without any problem.

Luck intensifies! Not that a lucky punch is a particularly good item, but I do like collecting them items for their own sake.

The mom tells me about Alolan raichu then says somehow she’s never seen one and to bring it. Ferrying it rewards me with yet another crystal I will never use.

Outside is a fishing spot with bubbles. Bubbles get me two magikarp, then when I try fishing at it after the bubbles are gone, a wailmer!

It shows off by spraying jets of seawater from the nostrils above its eyes. It eats a solid ton of Wishiwashi every day.

I try the bubbles again and just get another magikarp.

Now, I’ve had a couple pokemon baking at the hot springs, and I grabbed them, so my igglybuff levels and I get the pokedex entry.

Jigglypuff possess a vocal range that exceeds 12 octaves, but each individual’s singing skill depends on its own effort.

Huh. That suggests “sing” should be tied to some other variable in effectiveness, instead of its current flat chance of working.

Anyway, I then chuck a moonstone at it.

As it inhales, it expands…and expands…and expands. Wigglytuff compete to see which one can inflate itself the most.

While I’m swapping pokemon, I also evolve my shellder.

Excavation of the tombs of ancient hunting tribes has turned up many spears tipped with spikes that had fallen off this Pokemon’s shell.

Really? They don’t look particularly sharp.

At the pokecenter are also two move tutors who can teach draco meteor and dragon ascent. How do people even know these?

Continuing triggers another event flag, which means Lillie running up and saying yet again she’ll do her best. I continue not to get a dialogue option to tell Lillie to stop apologizing for existing.

Lillie: I’ll be fine! I’ve got Max Repels with me. And I’ve got you, too…

Cutscene done, Rotom informs me that it’s picking up “signs” of other people around, like say, the three people I can currently see. Thanks, Rotom, that sure was helpful.

Screw people though, let’s dive into the grass!

Pelipper. L43, but still. Not very impressive.

Now, here’s the thing. My pokemon currently range in level from L30-37. I do have a good box full of them, but that doesn’t matter in this game. Also, I’ve got a ton of pokemon I raised up on the free-experience island too, who need to level up once to evolve.

So…I’m going to go poke around for pokemon I haven’t already caught. Which is surprisingly few.

I decide to try for a feebas.

Although unattractive and unpopular, this Pokemon’s marvelous vitality has made it a subject of research.

And no mechanism to make it attractive and popular, at least, not without trading and such. Eh, I guess back into the Poni grass with my spikey hedgehog on guard duty.

Paras evolves  into parasect.

It scatters toxic spores from its mushroom cap. Once harvested, these spores can be steeped and boiled down to prepare herbal medicines.

Nothing about it being a zombie!

You know, I was pondering how this worked in evolution terms. If we think of them as actually two separate organisms, then why is it that the mushrooms seem to be the main evolver? What if the issue is that the bug half of parasect needs way more experience than the fast-growing mushroom, so under normal circumstances, the mushrooms reach the tipping point first and dominate the bug. There could be some region where they view the fungus as a horrible disease and do their best to eradicate it, and they raise paras up to whatever their evolution could be otherwise. After all, one of the features of infested crabs is the host body stops growing or repairing itself, so it’s far more likely that parasect’s insect half is a stunted version of what it could’ve been than that the mushrooms are sharing energy for a group evolution.

Psyduck too. Golduck!

It swims along the banks of lakes and catches fish Pokemon. It takes them to the shore and quietly eats them up.

Disappointing that a kappa is primarily into eating its fellow aquatic creatures rather than drowning landdwellers.

I encounter a granbull, but I use my togedemaru, and iron spikes accidentally faints it.

Golbat is evolving into crobat!

Silent and swift in its four-winged flight, it bites down on its prey before they realize that’s happening. In a heartbeat, it drains their blood.

Meh, this is pretty much all we’ve gotten about the bats – they drink blood, they drink blood, they drink blood. Whatever.

A second granbull roars me off, but the third is captured. Apparently I never caught a snubbull? Or even saw one. Huh.

More timid than Snubbull, this Pokemon is doted on by young people amused at the contrast between its looks and its attitude.

Odd that it’d actually get more afraid. Maybe snubbull tend to get away with misbehavior because they’re considered so cute looking, but granbull are more likely to get aggression aimed their way, so they get panicky and start doing threat displays constantly.

Drowzee to hypno!

As a matter of course, it makes anyone it meets fall asleep and has a taste of their dreams. Anyone having a good dream, it carries off.

Huh. Given how the dream eater move works, they should be able to tear into your dreams pretty fast. Maybe they eat good dreams far more slowly (could a pokemon be somewhat safe from dream eater if their dreams are so happy that the hypno can’t help but linger? does this mean battling pokemon do not have good dreams as a rule?), or maybe they eat them exactly the same and they’re carrying people off because they want to hide the resulting corpses.

Sheldon’s evolving now.

It lived in the same environments as Rampardos. Their fossils have been found together–seemingly from after they’d fought to the finish.

Bastiodon then learns “block”, which sounds reasonable until we get to the attack’s description: The user blocks the target’s way with arms spread wide to prevent escape.

Evolving my machop too…

It willingly assists with hard labor because it knows the work is good training for its muscles.

That casts an interesting light in how many we see as workers, and also raises the question of if machoke will refuse to work if they’re being asked to move things that are too light.

Tentacool to tentacruel.

Although these Pokemon are rare, when a large outbreak of them occurs, all fish Pokemon disappear from the surrounding sea.

I wonder if they mean disappear as in flee or if tentacruel devour everything.

Makuhita to hariyama.

They love to compare their freakish strength–strength enough to send a truck flying with a single slap.

In the pokemon world, that doesn’t seem particularly freakish.

I’m only seeing granbull and pelipper, so I guess I’ll approach a trainer.

She talks about trainer and pokemon adding up to z-moves. And then yeah, her first pokemon doesn’t but her second, a toxiplex, does. So I guess the final island will have everyone using those instead of there being just one trainer in an area with it and needing to jump through hoops to battle them at all.

Finneon to lumineon.

This deep-sea Pokemon lives at the bottom of the sea.

Does it indeed.

Its fins haul all over the seabed in search of its favorite food–Starmie.

Fletchinder to talonflame.

It zooms directly at its prey at flight speeds of close to 310 mph, while fiery embers scatter from the gaps in its feathers.

Either forest fires are crazy common in the pokeworld or their plant life has evolved to be extremely hard to light.

Lillipup to herdier.

This Pokemon obeys its master’s orders faithfully. However, it refuses to listen to anything said by a person it doesn’t respect.

I’m torn between thinking it’s useful, fanficwise, to get these kinds of notes on what pokemon might be a difficulty, and that it’s not at all, because “pokemon doesn’t listen to someone because they don’t respect them” is a pretty stock situation, and is there anything much gained by saying to do it with herdier and not some other pokemon that doesn’t have a note saying this?

Mankey to primeape.

Some researchers theorize that Primeape remains angry even when inside a Poke Ball.

Hm, that sounds like a pretty solid “they’re in stasis normally” vote. Also, primeape immediately learns rage – or doesn’t, because it’s a sucky move and I say no.

Magnemite to magneton.

It has about three times the electrical power of Magnemite. For some reason, outbreaks of this Pokemon happen when lots of sunspots appear.

Hm. I wonder if that’s outbreaks as in a lot of existing magneton come out of wherever they are normally or if sunspots mean magnemite start suddenly evolving.

Oh hey, exeggcute! You know, I only recently got enough to evolve one of these guys in Pokemon Go.

For some reason, it uses sleep powder followed by worry seed. Thanks?

This combo is then used repeatedly as the first one calls for help. After a small eternity, the call isn’t answered and I can finally chuck a pokeball into it. Unfortunately, I decide to gamble on the fact it’s got a sliver of health left and actually chuck a pokeball, so it breaks out. And so, on principle, I keep trying to get it in a pokeball. Two later, and quite a few more exeggcute down, it goes in and stays in.

Six of them together form a full-fledged Pokemon. It’s often hunted by Crabrawler, but uses psychokinesis to drive it off.

Huh. See, I could see it being a delicacy to a pokemon we encounter by poking berry piles, but “often” hunted implies the crabrawlers are being really insistent about this given how badly outmatched they are in a battle.

And this is another pokemon I can use a stone to evolve!

Oh, right, and also it looks weird. I can’t even see how weird because its head is outside the screen.

As it grew taller and taller, it outgrew its reliance on psychic powers, while within it awakened the power of the sleeping dragon.

Okay…

For some reason, this makes me think of the descriptions in Llama Evolution.

Then I guess for emphasis it learns dragon hammer.

I naturally have to check this out in the pokemon cuddler game, where I’m disappointed to learn that instead of it bending its ginormous neck down to take the treats, the camera just pans up.

And now my brand-new herdier’s evolving into stoutland.

With this wise Pokemon, there could be no concern that it would ever attack people. Some parents even trust it to babysit.

Given parents trust their children with stufful and mimikyu, I think that’s more an issue of parents in this world not giving a damn.

Roggenrola to boldore.

It explores caves in search of underground water. It’s not too comfortable around water, so this Pokemon takes great care in lapping it up.

So, even apparently inorganic pokemon of a type harmed by water need to drink it? And is the idea that it’s intentionally seeking out underground water instead of aboveground for some reason, or that it’s already in the caves but it explores them to get to water, and in that case, what does it do once it’s found water, nothing?

Boldore apparently gets power gem as its evolution move, except it also has godawful special attack, so what’s the point?

Ah, and now slowpoke is evolving to slowbro. I’m now done with all the stockpiled pokemon!

Whenever Shellder bites down hard on its tail, it gives Slowbro a flash of inspiration…which it forgets a moment later.

As luck would have it, my trubbish also evolves. As I don’t much like this line, I think I’m going to kick them off my team for good.

For a time, their numbers increased explosively in Alola. Since the arrival of Grimer, their population has decreased dramatically.

So…are they invasive too? Do terms like “invasive” really even make sense when it seems like these are naturally occurring as a result of trash buildup?

This does seem like it explains why they’re feeding their garbage to grimer and not trubbish – it seems like these guys don’t really consume trash, they absorb it and get bigger/make new ones. But in that case, why are the grimer considered invasive by that guy in Aether? Or are trubbish native, and they’re getting wiped out by the grimer straight-up eating them? That would make sense with grimer eating trash, but it’s outside the waste facility full of grimer that we find the only trubbish, which would suggest the grimer are eliminating them by the fact there’s just less trash around elsewhere because of the facility.

Also, I find yet another little zygarde bit.

Sina: You’ve collected no less that 50% of all of the Cells and Cores! I wonder how your painstaking efforts will pay off. Why don’t you visit the Aether Base on Route 16 on Ula’ula Island?

Huh. I didn’t think I was doing that bad a job of finding these things, but this suggests that I was maybe supposed to hit the halfway mark before I found out they were not-so-secretly evil and stuff. But then again, I found a bunch on the base itself, so if I’d done a bit better at collecting, I would have gotten the message then, which is even less appropriate. I’ll guess the real issue is that this whole sideplot makes no sense with Aether and is just crudely stitched on to make good on the promise of a multi-formed zygarde.

On the same beach I also find a dancer who says she won’t fight me until I beat everyone, so I guess that’s still going on.

Another, less annoying dancer is willing to fight, and has a new form of oricorio with her.

I’ve now beaten everyone else, so time to try my luck against the last one.

Ah, and her team is all four forms of oricorio we’ve seen so far.

It looks cool, but the thing I’ve noticed with my own oricorio is that their moveset is godawful, and that still appears to be true. Although they can be various types, they can’t, apparently, have any worthwhile moves reflecting that.

Kind of like how my marowak has yet to learn a single ghost OR fire move, come to think of it.

I ultimately win and get a focus sash, which the battle was supposed to show off but the closest I got to oneshotting anyone was halving their health so nope.

I also head into the water to get an item and run into a gastrodon. Is this the area of evolved pokemon whose younger counterparts can only be bred, or did I just miss a bunch of things?

Experiments are being conducted to discover what happens when a Gastrodon is raised in a location other than the sea where it was born.

I wonder if this would make more sense paired with the shellos entry.

So. That took approximately forever, but my pokemon are somewhat higher leveled and now I don’t need to worry about stopping later to evolve the others.