I’m actually getting near a full pokedex, so I decide it’s time to get trading. First off, I go to try to get a few sandshrew and drampa.
Huh, my vibrava’s evolving at L45. I kind of slotted these guys away as in the dragonite mold, but I guess it’s metagross that’s the official semilegendary, which means others must evolve sooner.
This Pokemon hides in the heart of sandstorms it creates and seldom appears where people can see it.
Ah, and now my bagon! I got him up to L53 on the easymode islands, so…
They lurk deep within caves–motionless, neither eating nor drinking. Why they don’t die is not known.
So does this mean the rest of the cocoon pokemon do eat, and that’s why science finds this so confusing?
Also you can feed it pokebeans, which suggests it likely does eat occasionally and this is just science being lazy and not actually keeping up proper round-the-clock observation.
And now, my beldum’s evolving as well.
It adores magnetic minerals, so it pursues Nosepass at speeds exceeding 60 mph.
Ah, so even the inorganic are getting in on eating each other!
Metang then blessedly learns confusion and metal claw. And now to never use take down again.
With my fresh sandshrew and drampa, I head off to trade. It turns out no one is trading the spiky red turtle for anything reasonable, but the vulpix folk are sane and I easily get one.
In hot weather, this Pokemon makes ice shards with its six tails and sprays them around to cool itself off.
Yet more thermodynamics nonsense with ice types.
Worryingly, there does not appear to be any way to sort the GTS by form.
The starters are also pretty cheap. I get a female littlen for a surskit…
It doesn’t allow its emotions to be easily seen. Earning its trust takes time. It prefers solitude.
…and a female rowlet for a lilligant.
Silently it glides, drawing near its targets. Before they even notice it, it begins to pelt them with vicious kicks.
That is a lot darker than I expected for cutesy owl. I guess it foreshadows the final evolution well.
Also, I need a passimian, which is even cheaper – I get one for a sableye.
And apparently the two exclusives share a page in the pokedex for some reason.
They battle with hard berries for weapons. Their techniques are passed from the boss to the group, generation upon generation.
But are they, really?
Well, no takers on my drampa, so exiting. Back to the grind!
Evolving my vulpix into ninetales…
Possessing a calm demeanor, this Pokémon was revered as a deity incarnate before it was identified as a regional variant of Ninetales.
That’s actually kind of odd. Is what happened that people familiar with regular ninetales showed up, scratched their heads a bit, then explained to the natives it wasn’t actually a god but just a slightly different version of something they’d long beaten all the mystique out of, or did everyone know about regular ninetales but think wispy ice version was a god? People have considered white animals sacred in the past before we all worked out they’re just regular ones with broken genes, but that’s a matter of contrast, while Alolan ninetales is the only ninetales the people of Alola would be familiar with, unless the idea is that proving it was a regional variant was a matter of proving it wasn’t an ice god who happened to think ninetales looked awesome and made itself a similar form.
On balance, probably a matter of Alolans being more prone to worshipping pokemon while Kantonians are more into stuffing them into PCs, and this is another instance of mainlander culture overwriting their own. Soon the tapu will be described similarly.
And now, into the desert!
Ah, and my shelgon’s leveled up. I’ve now hit 90% on Melemele’s pokedex.
It flies around on its wings, which have grown in at last. In its happiness, it gushes hot flames, burning up the fields it passes over.
Also, my pair of new baby starters are powerleveling.
Torracat, still cute. Still right.
It boasts powerful front legs. With a single punch, it can bend an iron bar right over.
I’m getting the impression the /dark came as the last second, when someone realized an angry mob was forming at the rumor we were getting another fire/fighting starter. Shame we failed to communicate that the bipedal punchy design was the bigger issue than the literal typing.
Dartrix, who is already not a cutey but some sort of nerd bird.
It throws sharp feathers called blade quills at enemies or prey. It seldom misses.
Ah, and now my trade is done.
It gushes fire and poisonous gases from its nostrils. Its dung is an explosive substance and can be put to various uses.
In the desert, I find some ill-prepared hiker.
I’ve been getting so much dust in my eyes in this awful desert, you know? And my Pokemon have been rubbing their eyes a lot, too… How are your Pokemon doing? Are their eyes holding up in this mess?
They’re burning brightly
They’re sniffling all the time
They’re looking pretty bleary
Unlike some people, I’m leading with my metang who’s immune to sandstorm.
Well, that sounds like they might not be getting enough sleep. Warm them up and let them rest.
No right answer, huh.
I chat again, this time saying my pokemon have the sniffles.
Wouldn’t that be their noses, not their eyes? If they’ve got snot running down their faces, be a good Trainer and wipe it away for them!
Who says I’m not? It’s not like wiping their faces would cure the sniffles.
Finally, I select the final option.
Well, that doesn’t sound good! I’ll give you these, so put ’em on your Pokemon.
This Haina Desert, though… It’s a beast. I’ve been wandering lost through it for… Well, I guess it’s been about a year now. When am I ever going to get out of here?
How are you still alive.
Or are you a ghost? Let’s see if you repeat yourself.
Ow! Arghhh! More dust in my eyes! What I wouldn’t give for a pair of Go-Goggles right about now…
Then why did you give up the safety goggles?
So… I guess I just leave you to your fate then…? …Bye.
And now here’s some other guy.
I am Mr… Mr… I can’t remember… I am just the ashes left behind…
Okay kind of weird that they used that same metaphor twice.
What remains when everything else has been given… I can’t remember any longer… Not how to get back home… Now anything about who I once was… But in the depths of my memory, I can still see the form of that dear Pokemon… As hazy and distant as a mirage… It looked…like the moon…my…Luna– Where is it? The Pokemon that always held me close? That curved body… That perfect arc… Coming to the most exquisite points… If only I could see it once more… I think… I might remember something…
So, what, Lunala also fucks up people’s brains?
Speaking of, guess who just evolved! I’m now the inconsiderate owner of a zwellious…which still has no pokedex entry for me. Nice animations, though – when you go into the poke-cuddling minigame, the standard happy dance is instead the heads trying to bite each other. At least they seem to share their pokebeans.
I find the guy again. He starts to go through his same dialogue, then a question mark slithers from his head. Hm…? … … … That Pokemon you journey with… It is Luna… Lunala? No… That’s not it… It’s all wrong… Where is it? The Pokemon that always held me close? That curved body…That perfect arc… Coming to the most exquisite points… If only I could see it once more… I think…I think I might remember something…
Ohhh. Cuz it’s a lunatone he wants. That actually makes so much more sense than some random guy being buddies with a legendary.
Well, I have no idea where that is, so I guess stay in the desert dying of dehydration for now! I’d tell the police there’s some confused amnesiac lost in the desert, but we’ve established they’re useless and you’re on your own.