It’s a new day, so I check the GTS again. I’m nearly done.

Slowking!

This Pokemon is so famed for its intellect that a proverb still persists in some regions: “When in doubt, ask a Slowking.”

Hmmmmmm. See, it’d be one thing to just say it’s famous for its great intelligence. But “still persists” makes it sound like this is about as true as the idea you should ask an owl for advice. But we know pokemon can actually be amazingly smart and also see the future, so unlike our animals, there’s no obvious reason this wouldn’t be valid advice.

One option is that humans used to understand pokemon, or at least had a good chunk of members who could. As humans started to go on about “people and pokemon”, the number of humans who could understand pokemon declines more and more, until there’s only scattered, disconnected references to what was once a major part of life. After all, a slowking’s intellect is irrelevant if you can’t understand the answer.

I then stick my new pokemon right back in asking for a milotic.

I also find a decent tirtouga trade.

Reputed to be the ancestor of most turtle Pokemon, it lived in warm seas approximately a hundred million years ago.

And over on the pokemon unpaid intern islands, a lapras has decided to join me.

These Pokemon were once near extinction due to poaching. Following protective regulations, there is now an overabundance of them.

“Overabundance” is definitely a word you’d expect to show up in the entry of a pokemon you haven’t seen all game.

I wonder if this is Japan being mad we don’t want them to hunt whales and how there are totally plenty of whales, in fact TOO MANY.

And I’ve decided I don’t want to mess around with hatching eggs, so let’s skip over that and get a gible directly.

It skulks in caves, and when prey or an enemy passes by, it leaps out and chomps them. The force of its attack sometimes chips its teeth.

Ouch. And no mention of it being able to regrow those, but we’ll assume given it’s a land shark pokemon.

And a shellos, too.

The difference in color from one Shellos to another seems to be a result of their diet. Not large changes can be seen in their capabilities.

…but you can still breed both forms to make a baby whatever-the-mom-is, right? Which would suggest diet is irrelevant and it’s genetic. Also, it’s not just a color thing, they have major physical differences.

Scizor!

Once it has identified an enemy, this Pokemon smashes it mercilessly with pincers hard as steel.

Scizor, if you’re using pincers to smash, you’re doing it wrong.

Now, I was told I should go poke the Gamefreak offices, so…

I’m the game director. Now let me see that Pokedex of yours… You’ve registered every last Pokemon that can be found on Melemele Island!

And I get a stamp. Huh. I’d kind of forgotten the whole passport stamp conceit, which is a shame because it’s a cute twist.

Then I head over to the sleazy guy who’s willing to battle me. And he has a whole six pokemon! At last. Upon victory, I’m given an oval charm, which will make breeding pokemon go faster.

I drop back in at the GTS to receive a snubbull.

Its growls make its opponents uneasy. This laid-back Pokemon tends to sleep half the day.

This is one of the more disconnected entries, but hey, two tidbits of info for the price of one!

Right, back to Poni.

Ah, my dartix is evolving and/or dying and now I have a decidueye.

Although basically cool and cautious, when it’s caught by surprise, it’s seized by panic.

So it’s not actually all that cool in the first place.

I mean, I get what it’s saying, it’s basically a sniper, it won’t rush into things and plans things out, but when pushed outside of its narrow comfort zone there’s problems. Honestly, this doesn’t sound like a pokemon too suited for pokemon battles given how varied they can get, which is odd for a starter, unless it’s able to class all battles as things it isn’t surprised by. (Hm, maybe one would get familiar with standard trainer fights because they have very few bad outcomes, but freeze up in a battle with actual stakes.)

Also, I’m still thinking that pokemon getting ghost typing through death makes a lot of sense. Evolution has never been a universally positive thing. First-gen parasect, infamously, is the final stages of the a fungal parasite, and there’s been chatter about the new mega evolution entries for this gen containing some disturbing suggestions of their own. If it does need to die to evolve…does that mean it’s cruel to get one intending to evolve it fully? Or is it fine, given it’s still got continuity of self? Does it still have continuity of self, given the previous example of a pokemon gaining a ghost subtype sounded like it was a matter of possession?

Deep questions aside, I have only two pokemon missing from Melemele Island’s pokedex, magnezone and braviary. Now, my rufflet is currently finishing up a training course but my magneton is ready, so I’ll head into Poni Canyon for a moment.

And it’s working! Nosepass is evolving and now I have the even less pleasing to look at probopass.

The main body controls three mobile units called Mini-Noses, which it maneuvers to catch prey.

Oh capitalization, when will you stop being awful.

And now, a magnezone! I am now one pokemon short of one complete pokedex section.

As it zooms through the sky, this Pokemon seems to be receiving signals of unknown origin, while transmitting signals of unknown purpose.

I mean, that sure sounds ominous, but given it’s not actually a UFO because we know it’s just an evolved magneton, the “signals” are presumably just chatter. No one goes on about how a cat’s ears receive unknown signals and its mouth produces unknown signals.

I come back to find myself in possession of a milotic.

It lives at the bottom of clear lakes. In times of war, it shows itself, which soothes people’s minds and hearts.

And in current times, it’s used for fighting itself!

I then ask for a weavile, because I haven’t seen the evolution item anywhere.

Ah, and now my cranidos is evolving into a rampardos.

Records exist of a revived fossil that evolved into Rampardos. It proceeded to escape and then destroy a skyscraper with a headbutt.

…so, is mine the second one to ever evolve? Or else every other rampardos has been a perfectly behaved angel and that’s why this one was notable but (“records exist”) so unlikely as to be scarcely believed.

Now for actually trying to clear this area!

I was a Rising Star who spent most of my time in battle, and now I’m a Veteran!

Now, this is yet another sleazy guy model. So, if we assume he’s the sort who ages badly rather than well, maybe just hit thirty. If he’s a veteran not just in the sense of a talented trainer but in the sense of being near the end of his run, that would explain why almost the entire eeveelution gang quit and is now just at retirement – at 35, you’re no longer allowed to run around being a trainer and have to spend all your time washing windows, and at 65 you retire. The leafeon trainer was the hottest and richest, so she was able to bribe her way out of this fate.

Ah, and now I have a braviary! (And a complete Melemele pokedex.)

It’s thought that people disturbed their habitats in the past, so Braviary banded together to fight back.

Uh…that’s a bit awkward a connection to make to America Bird, what with all the genocides.

Interesting to think we changed a creature from asocial to social, though – and that is what happened with the buffalo when the first humans arrived, so there’s that to tie it to.

America Bird then learns superpower. Not for long, America Bird. Not for long.

I come to the gauntlet. Should I beat all the trainers, I get to fight Ms. Artist-Not-Taking-This-Seriously.

And my tirtouga evolves into a carracosta in the first fight!

Active both on land and in the sea, this Pokemon drags its land-based prey into the water to finish it off.

Huh. So it’s a turtle that behaves like a crocodile. Although… the pet turtles I’ve cared for couldn’t eat on land and would stamp around looking for water with a shrimp in their mouth until put back in their tank, and the pokedex is clearly not the most accurate thing, so perhaps it’s that carracosta can’t swallow their food without using water suction to propel it down their throat, and the behavior’s been misinterpreted as the pokemon trying to drown its food.

Also, my vanillish is evolving into a vanilluxe. So that’s done.

Even if it loses one of its heads, it can live relatively problem-free. It makes snow clouds inside its body.

Hm. So do they have redundant brains, or is the actual brain not in the head? What happens if it loses both?

Also, the implication here is that nerve tissue, or whatever equivalent it has, is relatively cheap, since there’s a duplicate it doesn’t need. That would suggest ice/psychic pokemon should be more potent or common than they are…on the other hand, perhaps it doesn’t scale well? Maybe it’s using superconductors, and the whole reason for extra heads is that it can’t be packed very tightly.

I head back to swap my pokemon and check out the GTS yet again. My weavile’s here!

They dwell in cold places. This Pokemon’s main food source in Alola is Vulpix and Sandshrew, which they carefully divide among their group.

So they’re extremely social, it seems. Also, I’m not sure how they’re killing all these /steel sandshrew. Ambushes, I suppose? Here’s a weird fact I discovered when someone PMed me out of the blue about sneasel and weavile, looking for thoughts about what evolution would mean for, as I recall, a pokemon-as-humans sort of fic. I thought it’d be clever to check for moveset differences, and indeed, there are some. Notably, sneasel gets beat up while weavile gets fling, even though all of weavile’s entries make reference to social behavior while none of sneasel’s do. It’s really confusing why they picked beat up to replace.

I decide to take out Tapu Koko for a spin on my return to the gauntlet.

What are Pokemon? Do you know?

Yes.

Mundane creatures you can stuff in your pockets. Let me show you.

I don’t even beat her with Tapu Koko. When her weavile faints and she sends out a trevenant, I don’t switch. I make it use its ineffective moves while the trevenant pounds it into the ground and let her watch the guardian of Melemele crumble. Then I beat her pokemon with my salazzle, and then I beat her.

Because the point isn’t that I’m powerful because I have the power of a god. The point isn’t even that I’m so powerful I don’t need it. The point is I caught it just. Because. I. Could.

What’s a god to a nonbeliever?

Pokedex filler.