I head to Route 8 and go in to chat with the woman behind the counter. Has that other pokemon’s owner shown up?

Nope but apparently Gladion moved out, which, I already knew. And he left a letter to his mom, which the counter woman promptly read and then tells me to read, because running a hotel means never having to give a shit about people’s privacy.

Mother–
I apologize most sincerely for the actions I took in taking Null and running away. Yet I cannot regret these actions. They were for the sake of the greater good. So, until we meet again…

Which brings us back to the recurring problem that this may be super progressive by Japanese standards, but from an American standpoint the kids need to stop saying sorry.

Counterlady attempts to justify showing me this by saying, I had thought that if you knew the boy you might be able to take that letter to him, but now I’m thinking I’ll hold it for him till he comes to get it himself.

As an aside, I remember getting into an argument in first or second grade about how “till” did not need an apostrophe because it was a whole word and not a contraction of “until”. This was on the basis that it had an extra L and also that I had written it without an apostrophe and I didn’t want to fix it. It turns out I was accidentally correct back then and this is a shining moment of the translators doing a good job.

I go check the room myself and find people there.

???: So you actually came… You must be Bonnibel. Mustn’t you? Please, you’ll have to forgive me for my stunning disguise earlier. I’m very grateful that you accepted my invitation to join me here in my room.

Oh yeah, there was some invitation ages ago, wasn’t there.

???: My name…it is Looker. I am a member of the International Police. And this figure here is my boss…

???: It is an honor to meet you, of course, the first Champion of Alola. Please forgive our rude summons. My name is Anabel. I am the head of a secret division within the International Police. We are the UB Task Force.

Ah, I was wondering when I’d be doing something about the fact reality got torn asunder.

Looker: Please forgive me for the most sudden question, but I must ask…is it true that you encountered UB Symbiont?

UB?/Symbiont?

Anabel: Yes, UB-01…Symbiont. I suppose you knew it as Nihilego. The International Police refers to all of the UBs by code names, like Symbiont there.

A) Nobody knew it was called nihilego either, because nobody knew it existed, so there’s no point in making up a different word for people to also not know.
B) It already does have a code name, UB-01.
C) Just generally what the hell game. Why did this seem like a good idea.

I believe you might recognize it as the Pokemon that the woman Lusamine fused with?

How do you know anything about this?

Looker: Now that we have cleared that up, please allow me to ask once more. Did you come in contact with Symbiont? That is, with Nihilego?

I did/I beat it

Anabel: Just as we had thought…

Looker: That seems to settle things, Chief.

Anabel: Listen, everything that we are about to share with you is highly classified information. We must ask that you keep all that you learn here to yourself. The incident that Ms. Lusamine caused… Symbiont wasn’t the only UB to appear from the Ultra Wormhole that was temporarily opened at that time.

Looker: We have confirmed the presence of another Symbiont, other than the one you encountered. And we have received reports of sightings of several other types of UBs… The UBs are dangerous beings whose powers exceed the boundaries and logic of our world. And they were dropped rudely into this world against their own will… We can only expect that they will be extremely wary and combative.

Anabel: And so we have been tasked with three duties. The first is to investigate the ecology of these unidentified UBs. The second is to look out for UBs and protect the people from any harm. And the third is to either protect the UBs…or destroy them…

Looker: If the UBs are destructive beings that will seek some sort of revenge upon our world, then the order from above is to erase them completely.

Man, I wonder how many pokemon species that happened to.

Anabel: But neither myself nor Looker would like to see that happen. Even if they are UBs, they are living creatures. We would like to protect them and save them.

Looker: But protecting the UBs…t would seem to amount to catching them, and that is a more difficult task than simply destroying them would be. We do not currently have the battle power to achieve such a goal.

Anabel: And so we finally arrive at the point. Let us dispense with any pretense… We wish for you, the Champion of Alola, to lend us your assistance. Bonnibel…we want you to join our team. Please give your aid to the UB Task Force.

Sure!/What?!

Anabel: You accept? Thank you very much!

Looker: So that means, Chief…

Anabel: I know, Mr. Looker. It is only a formality, but I still must test you to ensure that you can handle this job. Bonnibel. May I ask you to join me in a battle? I will wait until you are ready, so do whatever preparations you need and then speak with me.

Her pokemon are L61, and I get lucky – Salazzle nearly faints her mismagius with flamethrower. I decide to use dragon pulse next right as she decided to switch to a salamance, and as a result, hers never manages to get a single hit off.

She’s impressed. Looker is still frowning. He informs me they’ll got find more info and I should go to the secret labs, yet again. These are the least secret secret labs ever.

Anabel: There you should find our other partner in this endeavor. The vice-chief of the Alolan branch of the Aether Foundation: Ms. Wicke.

Well, that does explain how they know about all this.

But it also highlights how unnecessary they are at all.

All they’ve done is sum up secondhand information. For whatever reason, the game made a big point of not only showing the beasts appearing all over the islands but that some of the kahunas engaged them in battle and drove them off. The kahunas themselves could easily have told me about this, and Wicke could then explain whatever else needs explaining.

Alright, off to Aether yet again.

Wicke: Ah yes, the matter of the UBs. Disclosing info on this is prohibited, so let’s please keep this between you and me. First, please take these.

Ten beastballs. And if I squander them?

Wicke: The International Police asked me to pass them to you.

What are they?/Poke Balls?

Wicke: Those are Beast Balls, which the Aether Foundation developed in great secrecy… They are a special kind of Pokemon Ball that are specialized for capturing Ultra Beasts.

Really needed another editing pass here.

Wicke: As a result, they are very expensive to make, so we have not been able to mass-produce them. Please consider your timing very carefully for when you will use them during a battle.

Ooh, do I actually only get ten?

Wicke: The appearance of the UBs is something that we at the foundation are to blame for… That is why I will do whatever is within my power to assist you in this.

Like giving me the last null? Because supposedly they’re designed to fight these things, so a second one would probably be useful.

Or how about not waiting until the police tell you to give me the special pokeballs? I’ve been down here multiple times. You could’ve handed them over at the start and told me this was a problem.

Wicke: For now, perhaps you should return to Ms. Anabel at the motel in Akala. She may have discovered new info.

I liked just wandering around more than flying back and forth between NPCs.

I chat with Gladion on my way out, but he just says the same thing as before.

Back to the hotel, then.

Anabel: Welcome back. It would seem that you managed to meet with Ms. Wicke.

Yeah, and it was pointless. If you have to be in this story, she could’ve already given you the special balls.

Anabel: I also expect Mr. Looker will return shortly…

Looker, spikyboxing: E un disastro!

Anabel: Is…something the matter, Mr. Looker? If you spoke in English, I might understand. What has you so bothered?

Looker: I’m sorry! It is a terrible habit I picked up. but we do have a disaster in the making! Sightings are being reported of another UB-01! It is Symbiont! And the perp has been right here in Akala, right under our very noses!

And suddenly it cuts to a black screen telling me the mission’s started. How jarring.

Anabel: I understand. Then, Mr. Looker. Miss Bonnibel. It looks like we have a job to do. My task will be to protect the populated areas. Bonnibel…you will go to where the sighting was reported. Mr Looker, you are to stay here and coordinate our backup, if we should need it.

Looker: I…I see…

Anabel: Backup is a vital part of any operation, Mr. Looker.

God dammit why does his boss have to justify him doing his job.

Anabel: We are entrusting our safety to you.

Looker: Yes, ma’am!

Anabel: Then I will be going ahead. Bonnibel, stay safe!

And off she goes.

Looker: Good luck out there, Chief! Young Bonnibel! Do take care and keep yourself safe out there! If you ever are in need of more information, you may come talk to me!

Well, you guys failed to tell me where my new jellyfish friend is, so…I guess I’ll do that.

Looker: What is it? Has something happened? Or do you need information from me?

Tell me about the UB

Looker: UB-01. Code name: “Symbiont.” Yes, I can tell you about Nihilego! Nihilego is a terrifying, parasitic beast that can use humans or Pokemon as hosts.

Does it parasitize? What it provided Lusamine is unclear, but so was what, if anything, it took. She certainly wanted to fuse with it, and it then totemized her pokemon.

The sightings report a single specimen. Sightings were made in two locations. The Wela Volcano Part…and Diglett’s Tunnel! It seems highly likely that the creature is on the move around Akala Island.

Okay, that was actually useful. I’ll ask the second question too, then.

Tell me about the Beast Balls

Looker: Beast Balls are incredibly valuable Poke Balls! I asked Madam Wicke, who works in the secret labs, and she said a single ball costs millions! It appears you still have some on you, as well. Be very careful about using them!

I can also tell him I’m done, which results in him telling me not to lie.

Alright, let’s check the tunnel first I guess.

And oh hey, second random battle and there it is, still listed as ???. Riolu chops off a good bunch of its health then I nuzzle it the rest of the way down, then it gets into the very first beastball I throw.

Rotom: It’zzz an unidentified Pokemon! Go check it out quick! Then it babbles excitedly about how the Alola pokedex itself is nearly complete, which is weird triggering right after catching a pokemon from another dimension: You’re really gonna do it: you’re gonna complete the entire Alola Pokedex, aren’t you? You clever thing, you! Zz-zz-zz!

The pokedex entry itself is pretty bizarre too.

One of the Ultra Beasts. It’s unclear whether or not this Pokemon is sentient, but sometimes it can be observed behaving like a young girl.

When on earth did it behave like a young girl, game.

The sentient part is also weird. It could be the standard misuse of sentient in place of sapient, but on the other hand, this thing is a jellyfish, so “sentient” may indeed be a valid question. And if it can’t “feel suffering”, whether due to not having meaningful amounts of nervous tissue at all or due to evolution going some completely different way, then that could also explain why they were all hanging out with Lusamine without minding she’d caught one of their number already. It also is yet more evidence we should’ve just left her with her jellyfish friends – not only was she not hurting them at the time, but apparently it’s possible they can’t be hurt at all. The perfect species for her to live with!

Also, it’s rock/poison. That’s just such a cool idea. It’s not sheer nonsense logic, though I’d have been down with that as well, as I’d guess a translucent, toxic mineral sort of thing. The fact it’s so flexible but still functionally “rock” for type weaknesses still suggests some degree of reality incompatibility. Honestly, I wish it wasn’t part poison, even. That’s too reasonable.

Disappointingly, when I go to cuddle it, it behaves like any other pokemon. I really wish they’d done more to differentiate creatures in this, especially when we’re dealing with something that’s weird enough that you’re supposed to not be able to tell if it’s sentient.

Well, I decide to keep it in my party for now. I head back to the hotel again.

Looker: Amazing! Bravo! You have done it! I must call back the chief at once!

And so it is done.

Anabel: I’ve finished sending the data from the UB you protected to the HQ.

Yeah I protected the shit out of it.

Anabel: And to Ms. Wicke as well.

Because everyone continues to think she somehow isn’t shady as hell too.

Anabel: Thank you for your hard work, Bonnibel. With this development, I think we will be able to solve the mysteries surrounding Nihilego.

Looker: Well! Regardless of all that, congratulations are in order, young Bonnibel! I, the great Looker, think I shall provide a great feast to celebrate your great success and your addition to our team! There are some really tasty restaurants here on this island, after all!

Anabel: Oh? But how would you know that, Mr. Looker? We have only just arrived in Alola…

Looker, who evidently is a surprisingly shitty liar, replies with dramatic guilty posing and: Urm! I read about them in a magazine they had at the local Pokemon Center! D-don’t you worry yourself about the details! I’ll go and ask if they don’t do delivery. And then he runs off.

Anabel, who doesn’t look as disgusted as she should: My goodness… That Mr. Looker… Oh yes. There was one other thing I wanted to tell you. The original plan was that the UB you caught would be collected by the International Police. However, we have been able to secure official permission for you to keep it, Bonnibel.

I assume this is because you realized you should be afraid of her. That was correct.

Anabel: It was a bit of a hassle to get all the details ironed out, but… If we take the UB to headquarters, it would end up as a research subject. I expect it will be much happier staying with you, Bonnibel.

I suspect everyone will be much happier not arguing about that fact, yes.

And then Looker returns, again spikyboxing. C’est une catastrophe!

Anabel: M-Mr. Looker… Yes? What is it this time? In English, if you please.

Looker: I’m sorry! It is just a habit of mine! But never mind that–we have a disaster! I got a tip about a new UB sighting! This time the sighting was on Melemele Island. I’m sorry, but we’ll have to put off our feast!

Anabel: I understand. Let us hurry to Melemele Island at once.

Looker: Yes, ma’am!

Anabel: I will go ahead to Melemele Island and set up a new base of operations at the motel there. Please join us there as soon as you’re ready, Bonnibel.

Looker: We make for Melemele Island at once! We’re trusting in you, Bonnibel! Don’t forget: the Melemele motel is on Route 2!

Okay then.

I go fly there. This time, I only find Anabel.

Anabel: Thank you for joining us, Bonnibel. Mr. Looker has already set out to gather more information about the UB. I have been waiting here on standby. I expect we will have another visitor soon.

A visitor/Who?

Anabel: A mysterious person who claims to have some knowledge of the UB. He insisted that he would not share more details with me until we met in person… But if he does have any real insight into the UB, then we cannot let this opportunity pass us by. So I think it is best if you and I wait to take any further action know. And that we trust Mr. Looker to handle the fieldwork. Though I do feel bad asking him to do all the work for us.

Then why not leave him here while you do the important stuff?

Anabel: I must applaud Mr. Looker for that remarkable energy of his. He is in a class of his own, even within the elite members of the International Police. I would never have expected him to serve under my command…

Ugh.

???: Don’t mind if I let myself in.

Arg and now it’s sadface kahuna.

Anabel: Y-you are…?

Don’t you guys have, like, dossiers on this place?

Nanu: How are you doing? You’re well?

Anabel: M-Mr. Nanu… My, it really has been a long time…but why in the world are you–?

Nanu: I’m your contact. You want to know about that monster, right?

Stop talking badly of my jellyfish friend and its relatives!

Anabel: Monster… So you were the one who reached out to us?

Nanu: I forgot about this kahuna meeting we were all supposed to go to. That’s how I ended up as the messenger. And here you are, girl.

Anabel: You’re acquainted with Bonnibel?

Nanu: Guess you could say that.

Anabel: And…do you have some information for us about the UB that has been sighted on the island?

Nanu: It’s not like I’ve seen it or anything. Just heard rumors. You know.

Anabel: Yes. So then…could I trouble you to tell us what is it that you do know?

Okay, so let’s pause here.

This whole affair hasn’t made much sense, but this part is really highlighting how very bad of an idea this is.

If Nanu was just walking up to Bonnibel to tell her what he knows, he’d have to get to the damn point, because our avatar says barely anything so you can’t have this kind of minimal information back and forth. And that’s good, because whenever the writers do get a chance at a real dialogue, they inevitably use it to have people talk about nothing for as long as they can.

This whole thing runs so much more smoothly if they just weren’t there. Wicke should be the centerpiece. We have to go back to Aether anyway. There, she could’ve given us the beastballs and told us that they can tell there’s beasts on X islands, and to talk to the kahunas. The kahunas then tell us what general area the creature’s in. (Or it could just be a wandering monster! That could be annoying, but if it’d triggered early on, I’d probably run into it during the regular pokedex hunting period.) And without bringing in people with other interests, there’d be no reason to explain why I was allowed to keep it – which would also fit much better with how there’s no particular fanfair about my subjugating there gods. Clearly, Bonnibel just does whatever the fuck she wants at this point.

Nanu: What was it you guys were calling it? Beauty or something? Well, you’ll find it in Verdant Cavern. Not just one of ’em either. Four of the things.

Huh. Really? Is this like the extra cosmog for trading?

Anabel: Wait… Wait just a moment! How do you know our code names? That is highly classified information!

This doesn’t in any way justify the codenames, since it’d be just as weird for him to know the Aether terms and more relevant. Him knowing the police’s terms just means someone in that organization talked. Him knowing Aether’s terms means he was in contact with the bad guy organization, in which case it actually matters how he knows.

Nanu: Hmph. No one wants to hear about that. Good luck.

But in the universe we got, yeah, who cares how he knows their terms. It’s probably just Looker blabbing or whatever.

Anabel: Mr. Nanu was in fact a superior of mine when I first joined the International Police…

Anabel, when I said who cares, it was a rhetorical device where the implied answer was “nobody”, indicating I wasn’t interested. I would like to expand that into the question of who cares about Nanu in general? Why does the game keep having him of all people show up?

Also, if he’s part of the organization, why are you even wondering? Why does this surprise you in the least?

Anabel: I never dreamed that I would meet him once again under circumstances such as these…

Neither did I but mostly because this doesn’t make much sense.

A kahuna has a job on the islands, which means it’s a horrible fit for international work. Possibly he worked for them first, then came back and became kahuna, but leaving for a good chunk of his life should be a mark against him ever being chosen. Furthermore, if he had ties to the not incompetent police, the way the islands have been falling apart makes no sense. Nanu’s sadsacking makes sense if he’s just a regular member of the police. The main police force is outmatched and/or uninterested in dealing with Skull, Nanu can’t do it himself, so he just slinks around at the fringes knowing he’s failed as a kahuna for the disarray his island’s in.

I think there’s this idea, especially in the sprawling sort of storytelling of videogames, that it’s always clever writing to tie an old character into a new thing. You thought they were just X, but turns out they have ties to this brand new group Y! But that’s largely because old videogames had almost no characterization in the first place. If Nanu’s character up to this point had amounted to “he exists”, then this wouldn’t be an issue. As it is, we know a bunch about him. He’s already got characterization, so you have to ask what does it add to that to say he was also a major player in the International Police? In this case, not only goes it not add anything but it actually messes up the stuff before.

Anabel: But if the information he shared with us is correct, then there are multiple UBs this time.

I’m sad at the implication none of them are more jellyfish friends. Jellyfish friends are great.

Anabel: The situation is dangerous. If we don’t act at once…

…they might keep wandering around like any other pokemon?

Looker, yet again with the spikyboxing: Es un desastre!

Anabel: M-Mr. Looker. In English, if you would.

It’s weird that the first time he pulls this she complains the most, rather than getting more irritated each time.

Looker: I’m sorry! But please! This is no time to care about my odd habits!

Then knock it off.

Looker: The UB sightings! I’ve gotten a hot tip! The prep really is right here on Melemele! It appears it might be UB Beauty! It seems to be a beautiful yet dangerous UB that can move at incredible speeds!

If they already have codenames, then why are you describing it like it’s the first encounter?

Looker: But that is not all… It is not one specimen, but four! In Verdant Cavern!

But really, see what I mean about how much more smoothly this would’ve gone if the writers hadn’t been given the chance to have NPCs talk to each other?

Anabel: So it appears his information was correct…

Looker: Hm? What’s that? Did you say something just now, Chief?

Anabel: No… It’s nothing.

This whole sequence is indeed worthless.

Anabel: I understand, Mr. Looker. Then, Mr. Looker. Miss Bonnibel. It looks like we have a job to do. My task will be to protect the populated areas. Bonnibel. You will go to where the sighting was reported. Mr. Looker, you are to stay where and act as our backup once again, in case we should need it.

I also wonder if at some point these were meant to be triggered by something else, so they wouldn’t happen one after another. Maybe jellyfish friend before the elite four and the second one after? With a big space between them, repetition is pleasant. Just having the same thing happen twice in a row isn’t.

Having each take place on a different day might work too. The demo had events spread out like that.

Looker: Hold it right there! Not again! This time I insist that I…

Anabel: Please understand, Mr. Looker. You do not have a partner Pokemon with you. I cannot allow you to operate in a place where you are likely to encounter danger!

Did one of the previous endgame sections explain why someone without pokemon is even in the organization? He should be useless for almost everything they do.

Anabel: And besides that…having such an experienced veteran as yourself serve as our backup is a vital task in an operation like this one.

Looker, spikyboxing yet again: Understood, ma’am!

Anabel: Then I must be off. Bonnibel, I wish you fortune in battle!

Looker: Good luck out there, Chief! You take these, Bonnibel. I received them from Madam Wicke.

Another ten. So I guess I really don’t have to be all that careful. Hm.

Looker: I trust you will be careful out there, my young Bonnibel. And one last thing before you go… Madam Wicke finished analyzing all of the data that we gathered on Nihilego, AKA UB Symbiont. If you wish to learn more about that creature, you should speak to Madam Wicke in the Aether Paradise secret labs!

Yet another thing that’d work better if I was just talking to her in the first place.

Looker: Now it is time we get to work. And I’m here if you need to ask me anything!

Well, first off, let’s save and then throw out all the beastballs to see if you just keep dispensing them if I run out.

Oh, I can’t throw them out because I have infinite bag space so there’s no point in such an option.

Also can’t sell them.

You can’t stop me, game. I’m going to go chuck all nineteen of them into a pelican’s head.

Alright, Looker. Beast balls?

Looker: What?! You mean you can out of Beast Balls?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Looker: Well…then I suppose I must give you one of the extras that I have been holding in reserve!

Well, that’s a bit more difficult than handing me another full set, especially when I have to catch multiple ones. Still, game, you could’ve been crueler. especially as it’s the postgame.

I reset.

Now, let’s talk about our new soon to be friends.

Eh, he just says the same thing as he did earlier. To the very nearby cavern, then.

They sure are fragile. I faint three before capturing one.

Pheromosa. Bug/fighting, which is not nearly as weird as I’d like. I guess the fragility combined with fighting is a bit odd, but we’ve had a few slimmer fighting types before.

One of the Ultra Beasts. It refuses to touch anything, perhaps because it senses some uncleanness in this world.

Can I still pet it?

Yup. It appreciates a rubdown of medicine, headpats, and getting beans shoved in its face.