I leave the cave and Rotom chimes in telling me that the “dreamboat” Ilima is over there. Does Rotom actually experience cross-species attraction, or is it just going on what it learned last time it possessed a TV?

Ilima: As you travel around the islands of Alola, you will find captains’ barricades here and there.

THAT’S YOU ASSHOLES?

YOU DID THAT?

I WILL BURN YOUR WORLD TO THE GROUND.

These barricades help mark areas where particularly strong Pokemon can be found. Anyone can pass through them, of course, if they are escorted by a strong trainer.

Nope, not good enough, gotta be on fire.

Voila! Your world just got a little bigger.

Fuck you.

He tells me to go tell the kahuna…and then Kukui shows up because we need more cutscene clearly.

Now I’m being “rewarded” with a tutorial on z-crystals. Then it’s demonstrated. Then he says that it works by “heaping” the trainer’s feelings on their pokemon, and amazing vagueness really doesn’t go well with having the rest of it precise and joyless. Also, Lillie is apparently missing. Way to bury the lede, asshole.

Beyond is a return of that mechanic where there are the shadows of birds on the ground, and touching one somehow makes the bird attack.

Vullably! Nice to see you show up so soon.

It can’t fly yet and must wait until its wings have developed more. Since it’s still at a playful age, it hops around friskily.

Also a lot of spearow chains. It’s just like that time Ash attacked one and then it called for every other spearow for murdering help! What good social babies.

And now my popplio is L15, which I decided is the point I swap pokemon off in favor of new ones. Sorry baby! I pick that meowth I caught ages ago, and she proceeds to flinchlock a L13 psyduck four turns in a row.

Ah, and NOW my pichu is evolving!

It’s in its nature to store electricity. It feels stressed now and then if it’s unable to fully discharge the electricity.

Okay, and I also know that Alolan versions evolve differently, and I’m not sure if this applies to a pokemon that looks like its regular version for the first two stages or not, but regardless, at L19 it’s definitely time to kick off the team.

You know, I think I’ll raise Spinarak for a bit. Also, I’m going to backtrack for some berries.

My now L7 spinarak manages to beat two cutieflies!

And now it beat a L13 petilil. Ah, bug pokemon are fun at the low levels, especially when everything else is just a collection of normal type moves. (And some dark, but everything is dark so I can’t use those.)

Someone gave me a soothe bell. That’ll be useful. Also, delibird! So I guess these are a reference to those island penguins, except unlike everything else it doesn’t have an Alolan form and is still half ice. I realize they were focusing on Kanto pokemon…but I don’t see why. They chose to include more generations than just the first, plus Johto/Kanto are pretty much a matched set.

…and apparently they are crazy rare, because it takes forever to find a replacement after fainting one.

It has a generous habit of sharing its food with people and Pokemon, so it’s always scrounging around for more food.

Okay, finally time to look for Lillie. The one good thing about the railroading is the helpful flag tells you where to avoid.

Apparently, Nebby’s run off again, this time in a pokemon-infested meadow. I enter the flowers and a pompom bird attacks me.

Oricorio. Ah, electric/flying, didn’t expect that.

It creates an electric charge by rubbing its feathers together. It dances over to its enemies and delivers shocking electrical punches.

Grimer just hit L15, so I’ll swap.

Oh! Pikipek is evolving! …so, is this a two-stager, or…?

Trumbeak. Second of three.

By bending its beak, it can produce a variety of calls and brand itself a noisy nuisance for its neighbors. Awesome alliteration there, game. However, it’s super disconcerting to actually see that beak bend.

Petilil! Pretty sure you evolve by stone, so I think I’ll keep you boxed.

It’ll be nice to get access to stones and be able to tell this sort of thing.

By pruning the leaves on its head with regularity, this Pokemon can be grown into a fine plump shape. That’s kind of creepy. Also, they already look pretty plump – are the ones I’m running into getting pruned, or is there an even plumper version for pet ones?

I run over to something sparkly and it’s yellow nectar. It changes the form of certain species of Pokemon. That doesn’t help much, game. It’s not a held item, I use it on pokemon…? I save, but it doesn’t have any effect on any of my current team.

Also, I tried using stun spore on another oricorio and it’s immune.

I wander around instead of helping Lillie and my oricorio levels up and gets air cutter, which is great because apparently they have much better special attack than physical. (Which is not really what I associate with either cheerleaders or hummingbirds…) Also, my meowth found a moon stone! Not the stone I was thinking of, but at least I can verify I’ve got nothing that needs that right now.

Oh hey, metapod! The free experience of battles. This one calls for help and produces a caterpie…so does the help-calling generally produce a lower evolutionary form? Or it is just based on odds and unevolved ones are more common?

There’s a cave. This is totally not where I’m supposed to be going, but doing what I’m supposed to do might drag me into another cutscene.

Oh, if I go down far enough there’s an exit that opens onto water, and in the water I can see what look like ancient ruins. Very pretty. Nothing I can interact with, though.

Okay, I’ve kept Lillie waiting long enough. I’ll go talk to the runaway pokemon, and…it just follows me back. And not even “me” really – having to escort it past encounters would’ve made more sense, but apparently I have no problem getting through them and we jump right to me climbing back out of the flowers.

Lillie thanks me and then my topmost pokemon. I get what they’re trying to do but a “your team” would honestly sound better than showing off their ability to code something to check what’s at the top of my team and insert it into a sentence.

She then tells me that It seems the Pokemon called Oricorio changes appearance by feeding on nectar

What!? But I tried that!

from different types of flowers.

Ah. So, somewhere there are other colored flowers with non-yellow oricorio about.

It’s not actually evolving but undergoing a so-called “form change”.

…okay, but also the islands are populated by Kanto variants referred to as “Alola forms”. Do those also have the ability to toggle back and forth? Because it’d sure make sense for them to be stable, but on the other hand, it’d also have made a lot of sense to not use the same word for two different types of things.

Also, I suppose this means it doesn’t actually evolve. I guess it’s hard to top cheerleader bird.

Ah, and then Hau ambushes me for a rival battle. Huh, that was interestingly done. So, I’m fully healed by Lillie, but it wasn’t intentionally done.

Anyway, he’s got a pikachu just like me! Unlike me, his is L13. Also, it knows electro ball. Kudos, Pikachu! My L13 makuhita doesn’t do too well with that, but my L16 cutiefly tanks it just fine. And his only other pokemon is his L14 litten. I counter with my L15 meowth. Kitty fight!…is over without Litten ever managing a single move. Fake out + flinch and critical hit bite + bite.

Aw man! I wanted to show off my Pokemon’s best side more!

Yes yes, we’re all disappointed in you.

They then discuss the fact that in order to progress to the next island, we have to beat this island’s kahuna. So…doesn’t that mean that kahuna strength actually varies widely, and if you’re the one in charge of the first island you’re going to be a pushover? Or is there even a “first” to the islands? Do people usually start on whatever island they’re already on? Because then if you’re where the hardest kahuna is, you’ll just steamroll over the other islands.

Anyway, further on there’s more grass and a bagon pops out! No offense, Bagon, but I think I’ll skip trying to raise you.

One calls for another’s help. Hm….could this be a way to chain rare pokemon to get a shiny?

With its steel-hard head, it headbutts indiscriminately. This is because of the stress it feels at being unable to fly.

Really makes you wonder how something like this would evolve. I mean, the basic idea of an immature creature longing for its mature capabilities makes sense, but bagon’s adaptions aren’t built around getting closer to flight, they’re built around the spillover effects of it not being able to fly.

Also more berries, but no crab pokemon.

Then someone asks me to catch a rockruff. As always, they want my pokedex data rather than the pokemon, or even to see it in person. It’s really weird that they know exactly where the pokemon is and can describe it in detail, but somehow need the specific pokedex data from my capture to move forward.

Also I’ve now beaten all the trainers on the route except that one stuck-up asshole who was all “I’m too good to fight you unless you’ve beat everyone else”. Dude, trainer eyes meet = trainer battle, you’re not special.

His rockruff uses stealth rock. My makuhita uses force palm. The the pokemon used red card to force a switch? But it’s not like Cutiefly can’t take it. The guy proceeds to spam items, but it can’t change the fact it’s just a L13 pokemon. He follows it with a L14 slowpoke who can also force a single swap. It does not save them. He then gives me a red card. I guess that’ll be useful if I ever get moves that key off pokemon switching.

Now, back to the grass, let’s see what else there is.

Mankey!

Its raging tires it out and causes it to fall asleep, but the anger resonating in its dreams causes it to wake up–which infuriates it all over again.

Well, that sucks for it.

I feel like we’re done a disservice by having mankey defined by their unending rage, though – they’re a cute, fun looking pokemon, and the only monkey that’s tolerable instead of being a weird cartoonish monstrosity. Early art has them just hanging all over the place. I liked the idea they were just these sweet little pompom monkeys that would frolic adorably through the branches until you breathed wrong and they descended upon you in a screeching mob to tear you limb from limb. If they’re mad all the time, you don’t have that fun dynamic.

I run around there for a while, until my oricorio is about out of air cutter. I don’t see any other bagon, but I figure it’s unlikely there’s two super rare pokemon in the same patch of grass, so I probably got everything.

I then try to find those rockruff in the pokedex, but they’re behind unsmashed rocks. I also try evaluating it and am told to go search more in the city…but checking the actual pokemon I don’t have, nothing says it’s in the city. Grubbin are supposedly in the patch of grass right outside where I’m supposed to be going, though…

I swap my team for some lower level ones and go hunt in the grass.

Ledyba! Not what I meant to find, but very nice, especially since apparently no trainers have one so I can’t search for it.

They communicate with one another using bodily fluids that give off odors. When they’re angry, their odor smells sour.

Hm, you know what’d be more interesting? If the scent was a nice one, so there wasn’t an obvious link between a smell you want to get away from and a pokemon you should get away from. Like how a hyena’s laugh actually means it’s pissed off.

Oh thank god finally a grubbin. I have her now.

And Rotom actually says something new! That’s nice, it’s pretty annoying to see the same message each time. If they’re going to delay me getting to see the pokedex entry, there should at least be some variety.

Lookzzz like you’re getting to know the Pokemon on Melemele island pretty well, partner!

I wonder what triggered this, though – is it counting family lines or total pokemon? Because obviously I haven’t evolved most of them, and that’d be assumed, so if I did grind away until I’d evolved everything I could, would I get the message earlier?

Anyway, grubbin!

They often gather near places frequented by electric pokemon in order to avoid being attacked by bird Pokemon.

Oh, and here they’re appearing next to pichu. That’s really clever. …although it’d have been better if someone had told me that and leaving me to connect the dots, rather than tracking them through the pokedex and only knowing why afterward.

Then I accidentally click on the festival plaza option and get sucked into whatever that is.

Current team:
Magnemite L9
Wingull L7
Slowpoke L7
Gastly L9
Mankey L10
Vullaby L12