Okay, I decide to go get some pokemon from the Safari Zone I passed. You can fight the pokemon inside! …so I keep accidentally fainting them. Whatever.
I get a doduo.
This is officially worse than Superdictionary.
Then I get back to work. To Slateport! As you can see, doduo lack wings, so naturally they can learn fly and I’ll use it in place of Saurius for now. I’ll use Raiden as my main.
Oh hey, contest hall! Let’s go do that instead.
I power through the first few ranks with Silver, only to fail at the final one.
Lucki…aww… That’s a real shame about today, Lisia says. Oh! That’s it! Your story today is… “I Won’t Give Up! The First Tears Fall…” Tee hee. Don’t feel bad. This is an important step everyone has to take to become a star! Hmm, lemme think… It’d probably be easier for you to win if you gave your Pokemon more Pokeblocks!
Lisia, Silver’s maxed. Can’t you see how pretty he is?
Pokeblocks are pretty important, since they let you raise your Pokemon’s conditions! Even if your moves aren’t quite up to snuff, you might still be able to squeak through in a contest with good-enough conditions!
That’s what I was doing.
See, the problem is all of Silver’s moves require others to go first. He’s got two jamming moves, one that requires high stars, and one that requires being last. He’s good at recovering when he’s behind, but he’s incapable of actually holding a lead.
Here, try making a Pokeblock from this, and give it t your Pokemon for me, OK?
The lum berry is nice, but I really need move TMs.
But it is Lucki we’re talking about! I’m sure you can win next time! Don’t give up!
Yeah probably. I think I’ll go save the world for a bit, though.
Okay, so a crowd has formed around the shipyard.
Yes, indeed. And that is why we intend to move ahead with our expedition, says the guy in the center.
That’s wonderful, Captain Stern! Thank you for taking the time from your busy schedule to talk to us. We hope we can interview you again with news of more discoveries!
The interviewer runs off.
Whew… That was my first time being filmed for TV. What a nerve-racking experience! He tries to go inside, then suddenly realizes I’m there.
Oh! It’s you again! You’re looking well. Glad to see it. We made a huge discovery on our latest expedition to the seafoor. We found an underwater cavern on Route 128–and we think it may be the den of a super-ancient Pokemon long thought to have been extinct.
Huh. Is that the counterpart to the scorched earth place I stumbled over? Probably not given the game is pointing this one out while the other went without mention…
Anyway, Lucki’s failed to warn him in time. A spiky dialogue box with an unknown speaker pops up.
???: “Hrr-hrrmph. Captain Stern, I presume you can hear me.”
“We of Team Magma will now assume control of your famed submarine.”
“Take pride in the face that your invention will serve as a linchpin of the next great step in humanity’s development!”
“Fufufu… Fuwahahahahaha!”
A sea of ? appears over everyone’s heads.
Do you hear that voice? says Captain Stern, whose spirit animal is the noble slowbro. It’s like someone is using a megaphone… But where is it coming from? Yet another punctuation bubble. It came from the Harbor!
Yeah, some might say the part where they just said they were taking your submarine might imply they were in the general vicinity of your submarine.
Our submarine! They took it!
Yes, I heard them too.
Young lady! I’m sorry, but… Please come with me!
I actually have a choice about it! I choose to stay outside and interview the crowd, but they just express confusion and curiousity, so I go inside.
Those thugs… says Captain Stern, standing there like an idiot rather than, say, attempting to do anything.
They’re the same lot who tried to take the Devon Parts at the museum…
Wow, you managed to recognize the people who dress in bright red uniforms.
An exclamation mark pops up over Maxie’s head as I rush over. I like to think he also does one of those eye twitches. Hmph… So you have bothered to chase me, Maxie, all the way here from Mt. Pyre…
Well, as a seven-badge trainer, I have fly, so…not exactly chase. Or bothered. Might’ve been kind of dramatic if I’d had to, actually.
Hohoho. You have earned my respect for the persistence you have shown.
It’s like you’re not even listening to me. I bet you wrote this whole speech in your head before I even showed up.
However… None can stop us now.
You need to stop monologuing for that to be true.
All that remains is to retrofit this submarine and force our way into the Seafloor Cavern, where the great Pokemon sleeps…
I assume this is true for both games, since both have to have the sub subplot, but it’s a lot less fitting with Groudon, isn’t it?
Our plans to propel humanity to its ultimate heights have entered their final stage. If you wish to prolong your futile struggle, I will not deny your right to try. Our hideout lies in Lilycove City.
I really can’t express just how annoyed the continual blue text is making me.
It keeps making me think of FF7 and how I liked it there – but that was because FF7 was gigantic, you never knew when someone was going to give you a clue, and much of the time they weren’t directly saying what you needed to do – it was stuff like “I heard some (vague description resembling the guy we think is maybe Sephiroth) was going in this area, so I guess he was heading toward (location),” said the NPC who lacked any flags to warn you they were important. Something that the characters would reasonably notice but that the player might easily gloss over.
But.
Our HIDEOUT lies in LILYCOVE CITY.
If you can’t get the hint without the emphasis, you can’t read and the emphasis is lost on you anyway.
…sorry, Maxie, you’re still talking?
Follow us to our very door if you feel that justice demands it.
“Justice” does sort of describe how I feel about the importance of getting god monsters to write my will upon the world…
And now I must be going.
And Lucki’s just going to let you, isn’t she. At least I’ll find an admin, even if they are pushovers.
Tabitha!
We are in accord, Leader Maxie… You Grunts, there! Tabitha says, shouting at apparently no one. Until our Leader and I, your Admin, have made our escape in the submarine
no no no no
stay here and buy us some time!
Jesus fucking christ seriously.
Okay so. A pair of grunts appears from the side. They do not stand between Lucki and Maxie or Tabitha. They spikybox Yessir! and apparently that’s good enough.
This way, Leader Maxie… We should make haste.
I’m going to kill both of you.
Let us go, Maxie agrees, sealing his fate.
And they just walk off while Lucki stands around like an idiot.
This would be slightly less shit if at least the battle had started while they were still there, and then they vanish by the time you’ve won.
Anyway, the grunts are still there, despite the fact the other two have obviously made a successful escape already.
This is not just for buying time. I’ll flatten you!
Well, it’s nice to know someone cares about that.
Of course, all he’s actually got is a L36 mightyena. My L33 Raiden wins handily.
I was the one who was flattened…
Seems I have no choice… says the female grunt, who just stood there rather than double battling or something. It takes me, a Team Magma Ace Grunt, to take care of you!
Well, at least we have a slightly important female trainer. The gender balance in this game is just so awful. She has two pokemon, a L34 numel who finishes off Raiden and a L34 golbat who Anorith kills.
But, but… I’m a Team Magma Ace Grunt. How could I have lost?
You know that thing were you were like, maybe I should not have one pokemon like those other losers? That was a good idea, but you should’ve kept doing that rather than stopping at two.
Her partner is evidently more familiar with failure, chirping, Mission complete! Let’s head for the hideout and join the project to modify the submarine!
Look, if you could just walk off after losing to me, there wouldn’t have been any point in having someone cover anyone else’s retreat.
Yes! she replies, completely ignoring my extremely valid point.
I can’t wait to see the progress on the submarine.
Is the idea that if you’re annoying and repetitive enough in your conversation, we’ll just let you go so we don’t have to listen to it?
…apparently given they just walk by us jesus h christ Lucki why do you suck so much?
M-modding? Shut the fuck up you let them walk by too you’ve lost talking privleges.
Those criminals…
Stern what the fuck did I just say.
What are they planning to do with my Submarine Explorer 1?
Maybe what they just explained over and over they were going to do, you dense fucker, I’m going to kill you when I’m done with the rest.
He gets an exclamation mark over his head. They can’t be! They can’t be after the super-ancient Pokemon that slumbers at the bottom of the sea…
In all seriousness, I really do hate this. The writing is awful and there’s not even any battles to make up for it. The only fun fights are against random NPCs because they’re the closest to difficulty the game gets.
Lucki… I’m sorry, but… My stolen submarine… It could bring an unimaginable disaster upon the world…
GOOD
Someone has to get to THEIR HIDEOUT in LILYCOVE and stop them!
I want to punch everyone involved in this game in the face.
But I’ve got no chance alone! Lucki, please… May I ask for your help? I can at least get you as far as Lilycove, where their hideout is… Do you think you and your Pokemon could put a stop to them and save my sub from being used for evil? Please!
No, I’m going to go do contests.
O-oh… tell me if you change your mind. There’s no one else I can ask.
I wonder if the problem is cyclical: they put more and more THE PLOT IS HERE GO HERE that was unavoidable (and annoying) so players realized they didn’t need to read anything because if it was important it’d be mentioned again in a screamingly obvious manner. Players in turn mash A to get to the fight and pay no attention to the text and wind up lost, word gets back to gamefreak and they make it even more annoyingly railroady each new game.
I always got the impression that they made the plot with Kyogre in mind and just threw Groudon into the same places as an afterthought. Both wait in the underwater cave (except in Emerald where both teams featured and Groudon was sensibly awakened in Mt. Chimney instead) and regardless of team, Aqua and Magma both train Wailmer to prevent progress near Lilycove until you fight them in the hideout, which must be surfed to. Team Aqua and Kyogre are the original plot, team Magma and Groudon were shoved into their places to make a second version.
I guess this even continues in the Primal Reversion plot, where Groudon’s primal form and ability can’t even be mentioned without also mentioning Kyogre’s Primordial Sea, but Groudon’s ability is never mentioned in Alpha Sapphire’s weather institute scene.
The thing is, it’s not that hard to still make it obvious – just have it be in the line the NPC says when you talk to them again. Which they actually have happen for the most part! You could even bluetext that if you must. There’s no need to repeat it several times with bluetext in the initial dialogue lump.
I vote you rebel against the plot by finishing off the Trick House before going to the HIDEOUT in LILYCOVE!
I’ll be honest, I always saw the opposite problem I find Groudon more believable. He’s a super powerful Pokémon of the land, what could keep his powers away but taking him away from the land. Kyogre though, how did he become weaker constantly surrounded by the very thing he rules over?
No no, see, it’s a water monster, therefore it goes in a water dungeon. QED.
Well, it depends on what the hell the thing is for. Is he sleeping off his fight and the barrier is put up by him so no one will bug him, or was he beaten and the barrier is to keep him from starting the fight again? The dialogue seems to suggest both, and maybe the idea is that both barriers are Kyogre’s and they were too lazy to properly edit all the dialogue. In Sapphire it retreated to rest in the ocean, in Ruby it bound Groudon there.
I once read somewhere that they’re trying to make the games easier because the game industry itself is suffering trying to compete with apps and essentially other free games. Idk if it’s more appalling that GameFreak didn’t have faith that the franchise could grow with the original generation of players (which it so obviously has) or the fact that kids aren’t buying kid games because they’re too difficult and a waste of money when you could mindlessly crush candy instead.
Hm. Well, companies make all sorts of bad decisions, so that might be it. It doesn’t seem like it’s a sane response, though – people who want super easy free stuff aren’t going to switch to Pokemon if it’s easier but still not nearly as easy, and the endless cutscene blather seems like the opposite of quick and easy apps, as does the fact they keep locking more and more pokemon away behind limited giveaways.
And really, if they’re competing with free + easy, it’d make sense to try to court the more hardcore audience in the hopes those people might shell out for non-easy games.