Last time, I captured Groudon with a masterball and all of you forgot that I still have the QR code exploit so I can just get more if I really need to. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Never updating, Nintendo! Never updating ever!

So, the tree just outside of the Cave of Origin was bare and now it’s fully leafed out and with flowers on it. I assume this is meant to be telling us that radioactive snow is great, but how did this happen within seconds? Doesn’t this worry anyone else?

…no, because they’re too busy telling me how great I am. Okay, I can accept that.

Some weirdo in the pokemart gives me a TM for identifying Lisia as the cutest idol. It’s Infestation. That is kind of how I view her fans.

I’ve been to every one of her shows since her debut! I’ve sent her more than 1,000 fan letters! I came all the way here on a pilgrimage, because I’ve heard that Lissi has some connection to this town! I am prepared to watch over her until I die! No, even after I die. I’ll never stop watching her!

Uh. Let me just go now and never talk to you again.

Listen up, my girl, and I’ll share something worth hearing. people say there’s an ancient ruin in the sea around here. There could be lost treasure waiting to be discovered!

That is super cool unless it’s just the thing I just went to. Ruin sounds like it’s an actual building of some kind, though, and not the natural/pokemon-made cavern from before.

Someone else offers to teach any dragon type an ultimate move, but I need to max affection first. Eh, ultimate moves tend not to be very usable.

So, gym time!

Hm, so should I celebrate my final badge by continuing to use my full team, OR should I go back to my one and filler method, OR should I make it clear that letting me get my hands on Groudon was their first and last mistake?

Put that way, there’s really nothing I can do but try to take this place with Groudon, is there. And since it’s not mega evolution, Lucki can take advantage of the red orb. Yes. Let’s do this!

(First I feed Groudon some pokepuffs in the hopes this will help me control it. It doesn’t look very impressive there – its plates seem less like actual plates and more like rubbery flaps.)

Oh hey, Groudon not-mega evolves automatically. Nice. Fits both the idea it’s something pokemon can do on their own and my idea Lucki shouldn’t be able to use anything that relies on an actual bond. And now it’s untouchable.

I’m not sure what to make of this gym’s puzzle. I find the first one pretty difficult, especially since I have to make sure the final cracked tile is next to the stairs, but then the ones after aren’t because you’re given safe areas. I remember the original version of the gym having better scaling to its difficulty.

Well, I’ve fought all the people and reached Wallace. Groudon’s out of earthquake, but only lost about twenty HP, so you know what, let’s embrace hubris and attack Wallace anyway.

Allow me to formally introduce myself, says Wallace with a frankly gorgeous waterwall behind him. There’s a big beauty theme in the whole gym, which means all the undertrainers are women and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, it does mean the strongest undertrainers you face in the game are female – but it also doesn’t seem like you’re supposed to take them very seriously as trainers.

I am Wallace. The Gym Leader of Sootopolis City. There’s something about you… A difference in your demeanor… I think I sense that in you.

Also the part where I have a world-destroying god pokemon.

What happened inside the Cave of Origin, and what you did there… Our upcoming battle will make that all clear.

Oh yes. Yes it will.

Now, show me. Show me the power you wield with your Pokemon.

I call it “Screw friendship, I pick whatever wins!”

And I, in turn, shall present you…with a performance of illusions in water…by me and my Pokemon! he spikybox finishes.

So you’re not even pretending to be a legitimate opponent is what you’re saying.

Battle start. You know, I get the whole “yay finally the guy has to wear the ridiculous outfit” but his outfit is so ugly. It just looks like clown pants.

Anyway, L44 luvdisc. Right. Because that’s a good idea. Groudon shiskabobs the impudent thing.

Realizing his error, Wallace tries his L46 milotic. Groudon shiskabobs the impudent thing.

Knowing with certainty all is futile, but trapped in a system that does not allow forfeit – or perhaps merely aware this could anger me further, Wallance sends out his L44 whiscash, hoping its ground typing might make Groudon not mangle it. Groudon shiskabobs the impudent thing.

Sealeo, he thinks. Maybe you can withstand the first hit. And he sends it out, despite only being L44.

Groudon shiskabobs the impudent thing.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sending out his L44 seaking. “I’m sorry.”

As the blades once again lance from the ground, Lucki begins to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Bravo! he says desperately, knowing his only hope now is to appease me. I realize now your authenticity and magnificence as a Pokemon Trainer. I find much joy in having met you and your Pokemon. You have prove yourself worthy of the Rain Badge. Accept it. Having that Badge assures you full obedience of all your Pokemon to every command you make. He swallows nervously, not sure if this truly applies to all her pokemon…and not sure which would be worse. And so you never forget the battle we shared… Here… The HM I have given you contains Waterfall. it allows you to smash into an opponent with the force required to climb a waterfall itself. Yes, it is a mighty move… And yet it also has a certain elegance and can sometimes cause opponents to flinch. Now, with the power of the Rain Badge, you will become able to use this HM move, Waterfall, to scale the walls of cascading water. Many paths are open to you now. He tries not the shudder. He tries not to think about what some of them are. Brightly, he continues, One path would take you to the Pokemon League. It is the goal that all Trainers in Hoenn aspire to reach after obtaining all eight Gym Badges. And perhaps it is still hers. If that is the path you choose, then you must find your way to the island said to be the most remote in Hoenn: Ever Grande. But if it is a different path you seek, and you would rather pursue Pokemon and a completed Pokedex… And what should he hope for, he wonders – to send this terror to his friends in the hopes they’ll be able to harness it, or away to wander all the places they aren’t? The rumors that reach me on the wind whisper that Professor Birch in LITTLEROOT has created a more powerful Pokedex. Visit him, obtain this new technology, and I have little doubt you will encounter more diverse Pokemon than ever before. And maybe that’ll be enough to occupy her. …I will hope that a bright future waits for you, whatever path it is you choose.

Well, I guess I know who I’m intimidating next! Or murdering if it really does somehow turn out that there’s been rare pokemon around this whole time and I’ve been held back by the pokedex he gave me.

No one I have on my team knows fly, so I guess it’s time to try out that flute.

Okay wow the flute is awesome, Latios how come you never did this for me when you were on my team? You can actually hover over all of Hoenn. And in the distance, a sparkly red thing is above an island! Is it Latios’ island?

Well, it’s Mirage Mountain apparently. On it live donphans. And rufflets.

Donphan’s favorite attack is curling its body into a ball, then charging at its foe while rolling at high speed. Once it starts rolling, this Pokémon can’t stop very easily.

 

 

They crush berries with their talons. They bravely stand up to any opponent, no matter how strong it is.

I’m now picturing one crushing a berry all like “look how badass and strong I am are you terrified yet?!” and teeny tiny baby bird, it is a berry, it’s harder to not crush one.

Also, I need the other kind of bike to get anywhere else. Where was the bike shop? Whatever, let’s go to Littleroot.

I don’t know if it’s that I’m in a melancholy mood, but I feel really weird hovering over the map like this. I love it, as I love any game that gives me an airship, and it’s beautiful. But it’s also so very small, and then you think about the routes and you realize it’s even smaller than that, because the game is a series of narrow paths. A flock of birds flies by and I try to have Latios follow them, but we brush against the edge of the map and he flies up and around and aims me back at the tiny world.

It actually doesn’t make much sense to feel like that – there’s more to the pokemon universe coming out all the time, and these days there’s plenty of unfinished stuff for me to still do. But then, it’s not the literal size, exactly… I guess it’s how unreactive the world is. There’s so little you can actually do here.

Birch isn’t in his house, as expected, and instead of telling me where to look, his wife says I should talk to my mom. That’s a good point. Also, anything to not be like Brendan.

Oh? Did Dad give you that Badge?!

…wow, I haven’t been talking to you at all, have I. Also, you don’t pay much attention to the news.

Then here’s something from your mom!

Aw, Mom, you don’t need to feel like you’re competing for my affections. Dad’s a jerk, and one who’s so dumb he swapped out facade from his pokemon’s movesets.

Oh god it’s the amulet coin dammit. Well, okay, it’s not actually like I needed it but it’s the principle of the thing. If I had it, I’ve have made sure to get double money from everyone I encountered just because you’ve gotta farm people as much as possible.

It’s a wonderful thing to try hard at your passion, but don’t push yourself too hard, dear. You can always come home if you need to. Good luck, honey!

And that’s all she has to say. I guess if you’re really not into pokemon, you don’t even notice your kid bringing home the apocalypse.

Well, to Birch’s lab then.

Welcome back, Lucki! You must be tired after all your recent exploits. Brendan has been keeping me updated about all of your grand adventures around Hoenn. After hearing all that you’ve been up to, there is something I’d definitely like to share with you. The fact of the matter is that after you resolves that kerfluffle with the super-ancient Pokemon,

Doesn’t sound like Brendan is keeping you quite updated enough.

a number of Pokemon never before recorded in the Hoenn region began to appear all over!

Okay, that’s actually incredibly reasonable.

Those Pokemon are precisely the subject of my many long years of research… They are Pokemon which are thought to have resided in Hoenn thousands of years ago!

And they just spontaneously generated a few minutes ago?

Or maybe that’s the wrong way of looking at it. Maybe they mutated. Maybe pokemon are much, much more sensitive to the environment than we ever guessed, and they possess multiple morphs. Sort of like how heat shock proteins can cause plants to have different forms at different temperatures!

And speaking of temperatures, going by the timing, it seems it was Groudon’s appearance that created them. Were they trying to adapt to survive – or were they to be part of Groudon’s vangauard in the fight against Kyogre?

We’ll finally be able to meet Pokemon never before seen, the very Pokemon I’ve pursued all these years!

Hm. So, either another fanfic idea is backed up by canon and the regions are super isolated from each other and don’t swap info on their pokemon, OR this game takes place prior to some of the ones in the last generation. Since I understand zoroa is one of those pokemon that’s just appeared, that’d imply this takes place before N was born.

I’m so excited I feel like I’m about to burst!

It is pretty exciting, isn’t it? Either of those options is great. You could do so much with them.

So excited that I went right ahead and upgraded the Pokedex to be ready for all of them!

Pretty sure that part makes no sense, mind you.

Now, let me upgrade your Pokedex while you’re here! You’ll now find the National Pokedex on your Pokedex’s menu, so use it well! It is being suggested that Hoenn is now more hospitable to Pokemon after that incident in Sootopolis.

As intensely as I hate having this sort of thing unlock after the pokemon league, since having that sort of thing unlock pokemon makes no sense, and as much as I generally prefer more pokemon sooner, this time it actually would’ve been a good idea storywise to have more of a lag period here, if only to try to explain how the pokemon had time to react.

Also, I think the game is trying to frame this as my capture of Groudon is somehow improving things even more than Groudon being locked away unconscious did, but seriously, “that incident in Sootopolis” was 99% Groudon being awake and lighting the sky on fire.

The only way removing Groudon caused this change was if Kyogre has sensed Groudon’s no longer a factor and is beginning to act. That pokemon are altered rather than humans may nail down pokemon as the legitimate children of this world’s heart.

Hm – given Groudon’s power is immunity to water, suggesting he actually has the upper hand on Kyogre in this version, perhaps Groudon is the world heart of Earth, and we brought it with us when we came to this planet. (Because let’s face it, it’s always made more sense that it was humans that came from space, not pokemon.)

However, that does not necessarily mean the environment has become any more hospitable to humanity. People, Pokemon, and nature… The balance between these three great ecosystems has shifted greatly.

That’s…that’s not what ecosystem means.

I can’t wait for you to start exploring this new world! Exploration may help us learn how best to coexist with Pokemon from this time forward. I hope you will find your own answers to this great question, as you continue your journey with your Pokedex!


That sounds awesome! So instead I’m going to do the whole elite four thing next.