Last time, I got another badge and also the ring-bracelet that controls digivolution.

Trying to leave, Alt-me ambushes me. Alt-me, have you gotten a single badge yet?

Here, take this, he says, dodging the subject. And now I have surf! Then Alt-me rambles about how he’ll battle me again because he’s so lucky to have met me he’d be silly not to take the opportunity to grow strong and then runs off without battling.

Pokemon sind im Pokemon. Ich sitze auf dem Stuhl.

Glitch or intentional multilingual thing?

Time to catch more pokemon…and it’s a miltank. Animating those was really not needed or pleasant. Do we really need to watch nipples flopping around ridiculously?

If it is around babies, the milk it produces contains much more nutrition than usual. Not a fairy type. I’m shocked.

Slowpoke!

Then talking to this guy…he says this lapras saved him from drowning, so why don’t I take it so it can see the world. Uh. That’s a lot of jumps in reasoning there. Also, two gift pokemon so close together? He doesn’t hand it over though because I have to empty a slot.

Chatot.

It mimics the cries of other Pokemon to trick them into thinking it’s one of them. This way they won’t attack it. Pokemon: apparently, all blind.

Exeggcute.

Its six eggs converse using telepathy. They can quickly gather if they become separated.

Well anyway. I’m going to backtrack since it looks like I’ll need a pokemon with surf to get any farther. And hey, I didn’t check the pokecenter store before. They have TMs! Finally, I can stick dig on everything. Buying everything (except safeguard, don’t care) actually manages to cut my funds somewhat, too.

Ah, and finally a guy in a bathing suit. Even if they aren’t sexualized like the girls earlier were, at least we’re a bit closer.

And that was pretty pointless. I cross a short body of water, why didn’t they just put in a bridge?

There’s a skiddo ranch. Indoors, a kid says they love skiddo so much it’s like they were hit with attract, then give me the TM. Uh. And you can ride the skiddo and it’s adorable!

Hey, mareep swarm. Aw, you’re cute too.

Its fluffy coat swells up to double when static electricity builds up. Touching it can be shocking. I hope shiny mareep are still pinkish. And it’s just plain electric despite being adorable and fluffy. If they’re going to stick fairy type everywhere, they should’ve been consistent. All pokemon who aren’t already dual-typed get it.

Well, while I’ve been appreciating my meowstic’s ability to murder everything, she is evolved, so I’m going to put something else in her place. Maybe my skiddo, she still needs to evolve.

Oh hey, tentacool.

Its body is virtually composed of water. It shoots strange beams from its crystal-like eyes.

You know, I should raise one of these. They were always beating down my team when I surfed around in the later parts of the first games, but I never tried one out myself.

Hey, my meowstic’s ability is infiltrator and seems to mean she ignores barriers. That’s awesome.

Ooh, found leftovers. Also, uglymon.

Two Binacle live together on one rock. when they fight, one of them will move to a different rock. Okay then!

Also, apparently I can’t surf on deep water? What the hell Serena, are you scared if you can’t touch the bottom? Learn to swim girl.

And hey, my pancham’s evolving into gangstermon! Pangoro.

Although it possesses a violent temperament, it won’t put up with bullying. It uses the leaf in its mouth to sense the movements of its enemies.

It’s part dark and I gather wouldn’t have evolved without a dark type on my team? This kind of evolution variability is fun (I like it better than a split between obvious and no-way-in-hell-will-the-kids-get-it of milotic) but I do hope there’s some explicit clue in the game later, because it’d be pretty easy to just not have a dark type on your team.

And now I’m in yet another city, this one which seems to be a bay. Alt-me wants a fight in front of the gym. Stop using the holothing, alt-me, it’s by that evil guy. Anyway, exploring, I find some guy selling incense. Buying all of those finally wipes out my money. Only about thirty thousand left, a much more reasonable amount for a traveling trainer with a mere three badges. Is there anything I should know about incense thing generation?

Someone else gives me a good rod! That seems fast.

What’s going on at the Kalos Power Plant? I heard the electricity for Lumiose City is getting lower than usual.

Hm, so maybe I’ll be needed to actually resolve that.

And now I got a lucky egg! I may be generally overleveled, but it’ll be good for any really low level pokemon I’m trying to powerlevel.

Hello! I am the Game Director. Ah! You’re working on your Pokedex! Come show it to me as you fill it up!

You’re better finally cough up that mew, mister.

Also, there’s someone who reminds me of Cynthia. She apparently hands out a TM a day.

Okay apparently I have to take a train to get to the rest of the town.

And it’s sleazy professor and star in her weirdo fairy outfit.

Why hello, Serena! Congratulations! I see you finally obtained everything you need for Mega Evolution! A Mega Stone for the Pokemon, a Mega Ring for the Trainer, and a strong bond with your Pokemon.

Fairy actor: A strong bond?
Sleaze professor: It’s only a hypothesis, but I think the bond between Pokemon and Trainer is the key to this new Evolution.

Okay if that was your hypothesis, you should hand me a venusaur I haven’t bonded with and see what happens, then compare it to my squirtle I raised up. Because that’s how we’d actually try to test this.

But what is this bond, exactly? says the guy who obviously got his professorship from a laser printer. And why are there examples of Mega Evolution only in the Kalos region? Maybe because this is the only place with the magic stones?

There’s still so much we don’t know…

THEN TEST IT

TEST ONE: DO THE STONES WORK IN OTHER REGIONS
IF YES THEN IT’S BECAUSE THEY JUST DIDN’T HAVE THE STONES

Fairy actor: Does this make you think of something like Kalos’s Legendary Pokemon?

What? Why would…

Found only here in the Kalos region, right? Nowhere else? Maybe that’s not a coincidence.

Oh. Because everyone is both crazy AND stupid, okay.

Oh! What an excellent point! Indeed! secondary data point replies. The more you know, the more there is to research! The excitement never ends, does it? Oh, that’s right! I came here to give you this!

And I have fly! Finally! …so I guess I can go replant my berry patch after all.

Well then, Serena… Diantha, I hope to see you both again soon! And he’s gone.

Bonds… says the fairy actor. They really are important to us all, aren’t they? When I’m acting, I think I’m always trying to forge a bond between myself and the character I’m playing. If all I think about is how i’m nothing like a character, then I’ll just hate playing it. But if I focus on what I have in common with the character and put myself in her shoes, I might be able to understand her. It’s the same for people–or Pokemon. Oh, never mind me! I’m just babbling about my own things. Let’s have a battle the next we meet, shall we? I’m still looking forward to it!

why can’t we battle nooooooooow

But no she’s gone.

On to the monorail, which is apparently free. That’s a surprise with how many ways they have to let you spend money. I guess they can’t do it for anything you actually need – though they could just say you’re only charged if you can afford it.

The pokecenter! Someone tells me horde pokemon can have special abilities. That’s cool.

Coumarine City
The city where bay and butte are bound.

Some random guy sitting on a bench: So those Egg-like things that are found at the Pokemon Day Care… Strictly speaking, they’re not Eggs. They’re more like a Pokemon cradle.

Well that clears up absolutely nothing.

In another house people are talking about treats.

The legends of Kalos say the Legendary Pokemon is in a deep, deep sleep. That’s why there aren’t many stories about it. The people of Kalos have some boring legends. But anyway, maybe it’s buried under those stones.

And here’s the gym! And here’s alt-me!

Sorry to keep you waiting. The reason I wanted to meet you is I want to see Mega Evolution in action. Whether or not you use it is up to you. But since I’m a Pokemon Trainer, I want to know about things that make Pokemon special.

Sorry, not carrying anything that can do it. Then battle? Either I clicked through or he just didn’t give me the chance to refuse. Shocking!

L31 meowstic. L31 absol. L33 frogadier. Nicely challenging.

Oof. I’d kind of forgotten how strong you are. Same.

Even though we set off from Vaniville Town at the same time, there’s a gap in our strength. Do you have something I don’t?

“A full team.”

I guess I have to think about that… Well, good luck with your Gym Battle.

And he leaves. Has he won any gyms?

You got it figured out yet, Champ? Yup! Old man Ramos’s Gym is all about Grass! and then he proceeds to explain how the “puzzle” works.

Actually, it is kind of interesting, since it’s long enough to get a bit confusing. Not a huge challenge, but it’s only gym four. Could’ve used more trainers, though.

Ho! So yeh’ve made it clear up here! I’m the Gym Leader. Ramos’s the name. So what’d yeh think, whippersnapper? Did yeh enjoy the garden playground I made with all these sturdy plants o’ mine? Their strength is a sign o’ my strength as a Gym Leader! Yeh sure yer up to facing all that? Yes.

And…that was pretty easy.

Yeh believe in yer Pokemon… And they believe in yeh, too… Mighty oaks from acorns grow. Go on, then. Yeh’ve earned it. Here’s yer own Plant Badge, sprout. And now I’ve got fly.

Here–have this, too. Might as well make hay while the sun shines, I reckon.

Man, they are really piling on the color with this one. It’s not particularly bad, like with that asshole Clay, but is overwhelming – I can’t really make out any character under all that characterization they’re blasting at me.

Anyway, grass knot. He rambles about the power of grass, and I get to leave.

Talking to advice guy gets me another mention of the mysterious statues my name goes on. Game, unless it’s going to turn out they’re actually ancient magic things where the one whose name is written on all of them gets the legendary, they’re not mysterious, they’re just lists of people who beat the gym leader – which, apparently, is only me.

Hey, fly’s power is now 90 and its accuracy down to 95. Was that true last game?

Fly’s animation is nicely involved, though it seems they drew the line at actually showing me riding each different pokemon. Probably undoable even with a big budget given how many pokemon learn fly that shouldn’t be able to carry anyone. Anyway, let’s check a past gym. Yup, still only me. Apparently none of my so-called rivals are bothering to collect badges. Dammit, then why am I?