Okay, so I battle my way through the rich people until I end up a duchess and can afford one and a half outfits at the cool shop. Still looking for a longer dress, but at least she’s got nice pants.

Toxicroak.

It has a poison sac at its throat. When it croaks, the stored poison is churned for greater potency.

Also, croagunk has a really nice animation where its cheeks puff out.

Swanna.

Despite their elegant appearance, they can flap their wings strongly and fly for thousands of miles.

Pidgeotto. Incidentally, the whole pidgey line is why to this day I have to struggle to not mispell pigeon as pidgeon.

The claws on its feet are well developed. It can carry prey such as an Exeggcute to its nest over 60 miles away.

Drifloom.

It carries people and Pokemon when it flies. But since it only drifts, it can end up anywhere.

And…what was I doing?

…Okay, Route 14 apparently. On the way out, some construction worker guy says the power lines are all underground. I remember when I was a little kid and thought that we should do that so they wouldn’t be ruining the scenery.

Lady S! says the green box. And he’s standing with Alt-me. You arrived very quickly!

Alt-me: Hey, Lady S!
Greenbox: We were just comparing how complete our Pokedexes are.

Christ, this again.

I won, of course!

Dammit, Alt-me.

I’ll leave filling up the Pokedex to you guys, Trevor, says Alt-me in what would be a totally reasonable statement if 90% of filling wasn’t just a matter of fighting other people. It’s boring when everyone does the same thing anyway… Is that why you’re also too lazy to win gym badges?
Green: Lady S! Stop saying that every few seconds! Let’s compare how many Pokemon we’ve seen, just like we always do! This time let’s compare how many Pokemon we’ve seen in the Mountain Kalos Pokedex! blah own pokemon battle blah. So is there an actual number here that I’m just surpassing or what? He’s amazed I saw a gible. Kid, everyone who plays sees one, they’re all over that desert.
Alt-me: There sure are lots of different kids of Pokemon in Kalos. That sure was a noncommittal statement. Guess it’s my turn now! Serena, I challenge you to a battle!

AND THEN WE BATTLE HE DOESN’T EVEN ASK FOR PERMISSION FUCK YES

L35 meowstic So he’s barely leveled at all, dammit Alt-me. L35 absol. L37 greninja, which does look kind of cool while still being very silly.

Battling with you is fun, but losing all the time doesn’t really make me look good.

Yeah, I know what you mean. That’s why Gary is the best rival.

Anyway, my firebird just hit L36, so it’s evolution time. Can I just say evolution in this game is really boring? Like, it’s exciting to see the new pokemon when they finally appear, but otherwise it’s just the exact same lightshow. Evolutions flipping between the two were great because you were getting flashes of the new pokemon, so it was always different.

Haha, now my cat’s trying to kill the bird on the screen. Aw, he must be pretty amazingly bored.

Talonflame.

In the fever of an exciting battle, it
showers embers from the gaps between
its feathers and takes to the air.

Anyway, kind of underwhelming, it’s just a bigger version. Still, seems popular since I see people’s showing up in the pokecuddling area all the time.

Wow! That was a really intense battle! And music note. See, she can’t even pretend the evolution part was interesting.

Thanks, Shauna, Alt-me says. I noticed you were watching us while I was battling. Whereas I was oblivious! I think anime logic says that means I’m the better trainer because I focus better.

So where’s Tierny? Pinkie asks. Why would you ask that? If you find out the answer, you might have to see him. Or maybe she’s asking to ensure she can avoid the area.

He’s at the Fighting dojo, Greenbox says. Pinkie repeats that.

Sorry I’m late, everybody! says FUCKING ORANGEBOX WHY DID YOU DO THAT PINKIE DON’T YOU KNOW THE SAYING “SPEAK OF THE DEVIL AND HE SHALL APPEAR”? THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

Anyway something sparing dance something. Alt-me asks if he’s gotten pokemon for his dance team. He has. Pinkie approves.

Hey, everybody! Let’s go to the scary house! Or maybe she was just pretending to approve to lure him in for some murder.

Greenbox informs us of its location and rumor status. Pinkie says that how else will they find out if the rumor’s true. Alt-me is not interested in rumors because he doesn’t realize he lives in a videogame. It’s okay, Alt-me, I approve of your desperate clinging to a rational worldview. I’d rather spend some quality time with my Pokemon before heading to Laverre City. And while he’s no Gary, I do appreciate his quiet better-than-thou nature.

And he sprints off. Live the dream, Alt-me. Live the dream.

Oh! Uh, OK, bye! says Orange. So…Is it really that scary? Green thinks they should find out, because all rumors have some basis! Someone knows he lives in a videogame. The annoying boys run off.

Sigh… says Pinkie, and starts to follow, then turns to me. Why are you traveling, Serena? Everyone is working really hard at what they want to do. But I’m just all about memories! I’m kinda just goofing around. Aw, Pinkie! That’s what they’re doing too, they’re just stupid and don’t realize that. Also please god don’t go Bianca on me.

Just kidding! Music note. Haha oh Pinkie. She runs off.

Okay, there’s swings, and I can sit in them, but it doesn’t appear I can actually swing on them. I can slide down the slide, but it uses the same animation as sliding down steep ground.

Ooh, and now into the spooky trees! Followed by spooky marsh. Followed by quagmire HAHA VINDICATED SCREW YOU RANDOM PERSON WHO REVIEWED ME TO SAY QUAGMIRE AREN’T CREEPY also hey my pokemon aren’t healed good going rival that’s a nice return to form.

I fight a trainer who references making a secret base. So are those still in this?

Goomy! Excellent, I’ve almost used up my existing stable of pokemon that need evolving. Unfortunately this one’s a boy.

Carnivine. I just throw a pokeball at the start of battle and it’s mine. Starting to think a better challenge would be to play without ever fighting wild pokemon, just throwing pokeballs until they’re yours. It’d still be doable, just more costly.

It attracts prey with its sweet-smelling saliva, then chomps down. It takes a whole day to eat prey. It is not grass/fairy, sadly.

Serena is super lazy and won’t walk on fallen trees.

Shelmet.

When it and Karrablast are together, and both recieve electrical stimulation, they both evolve. Which is why I’ll be sticking that in the GTS now.

Hey, Litleo’s evolving! Into lioness-with-Jesse-hair! You know, I’m relieved she evolves, when I was first looking at the GTS and seeing all the people who wanted to trade for a boy litleo it made me worry it was another gender evolution.

The male with the largest mane of fire is the leader of the pride. God dammit.

Karrblast. So now I can trade either. It seems like this would make so much sense as a version exclusive.

These mysterious Pokemon evolve when they receive electrical stimulation while they are in the same place as Shelmet. You know, why do these guys get so much time spent on a (roundabout) clue for their evolution when the pokemon from this gen are just thrown at you and you’re told to try your best?

Hey, I wonder what happens if you do this by chance on the wonder trade thing. People should try that. If a bunch of people all tried at the same time, a couple should connect to each other.

Well, in the meantime let’s just trade these guys.

Escavalier.

Wearing the shell covering they stole from Shelmet, they defend themselves and attack with two lances.

Accelgor.

Having removed its heavy shell, it becomes very light and can fight with ninja-like movements.

Huh, the two pokedex entries don’t quite match.

While we’re here, let’s do that graveler I caught and get a golem.

It tumbles down mountains, leaving grooves from peak to base. Stay clear of these grooves.

Okay I just wondertraded them both and someone gave me another girl eevee. Then when I tried to pass that on, I got a gible. So I decided that’s still pretty okay and sent it off, and now I have a zoroa, so, I’m stopping here before I get a shiny mew.

Ah, there’s another quagsire. I’m out of pokeballs but it gets into the greatball without a fight.

It has a sluggish nature. it lies at the river’s bottom, waiting for prey to stray into its mouth.

Onwards to the next trainer.

To feel shame is to be alive… Uh.

Perhaps… Perhaps I should engage with more living, breathing people… Jesus what is with you. Nature and change… Hmmm… Am I evolving?! I’m just hoping you’re not a zombie.

AAAAH IT’S THAT GIRL FROM THE ELEVATOR OH GOD OH GOD

I’ve know forever–since my previous life–that we would meet here today and face off! okay so you’re currently alive right right

Okay she’s a hex maniac. And I’m not 100% convinced on the alive bit.

Litwick. Oh, I remember the pokedex entry for that! THE FIRE’S BURNING! Kill it quick!

Okay now it’s just a haunter. Who actually has a lot of pretty bad pokedex entries itself…

I lost?! I LOST?! What wizardry is this?! Did you somehow rewrite the laws of causality?!

aaah don’t go all murdery ghost lady

I… I just obey… If that is what fate dictates, then I shall obey…

Uh, yeah, you do that and I’m just gonna take Serena and we’ll be over there, okay? Way over there.

Okay, out of sight. I think I need to fly back for healing anyway, and to rearrange my team.

New team:

Amaura L34
Tyrunt L37
Honedge L34
Braxien L35
Pidgeotto L32 since apparently there’s still no new flying type for me.
Binacle L23

I want something new to kick off so I can try again at raising an eevee.