Previously I was noting a lack of new pokemon to raise. Therefore, I decided now was an opportune time for me to trade for a few version exclusives. Especially with my cute glaceon trade fodder.
Skrelp.
Camoflaged as rotten kelp
they spray liquid poison on prey that approaches
unawares and then finish it off.
I think it’s kind of cool looking!
Aromatisse.
It devises various scents, pleasant and unpleasant, and emits scents that its enemies dislike in order to gain an edge in battle.
Why are all the new fairy types so freaky?
And spritzee, while we’re here. Apparently it’s the perfume pokemon.
It emits a scent that enraptures those
who smell it. This fragrance changes
depending on what it has eaten.
And, since I can’t do the trade trick for my own one, slurpuff.
It can distinguish the faintest of scents. It puts its sensitive sense of smell to use by helping pastry chefs in their work.
It is ruining all that is good about swirlix.
Trying to exit the area rather than fight Alt-me, I find the route is blocked by some construction guys.
Stop! The road up ahead was all torn up by the Durant, and we’re still trying to fix it.
Yeah okay but I don’t literally need a road, I’m not a car.
I guess the Durant were just giving it their all in their own way. I s’ppose from a Pokemon’s point of view, human roads and things don’t mean much.
Okay but can I go through?
No, guess not.
So I guess this game is similarly railroady and I just haven’t been hitting these as often. Bad form, game.
Okay, let’s go see what Alt-me’s done with his time. To the gym!
Serena! I can’t keep losing to someone who started the journey at the same time as me!
Hey look canon agrees with me about length of time being connected to actual ability.
Let’s battle!
And then we do!
My team:
L40 crygonal
L25 skrelp
L39 bergmite
L39 pyroar
L39 malamar
His meowstic is now L44. L44 flareon. L46 greninja. L44 absol. And I’m done. Poor Alt-me’s sad, even though I totally cheated with revival herbs.
My Pokemon are a lot stronger now, but you and your Pokemon are still just a little bit out of our reach…
Seriously, healing items. That’s your gap.
Here, I should heal your Pokemon. You’re strong. I knew there would be lots of tough Trainers out in the world, but I wouldn’t have guessed that my neighbor would turn out to be the one to beat! Well, just keep doing what you’re doing and defeat that Gym Leader.
Right then, guess I’ll go do that.
Inside, the advice guy tells me, Bwaha! This place is a maze inside of a ball! Try gettin’ your head ’round that one, right? Even if you find your way around, you’ll have to watch out for all those Psychic types! They’ve got some crazy powers, am I right? But don’t give up, and you’ll find your way!
And then I walk forward to check out the fireplace and the ordinary room I’m in flies apart and I’m left in a void with a backdrop of stars and some weird glowy curved ground.
Oh hey, my bergmite’s evolving already. Now I’ve got a upsidedown ice chunk called an avalugg.
Its ice-covered body is as hard as steel. Its cumbersome frame crushes anything that stands in its way.
And like things that are as hard as steel, it can’t handle a karate chop.
I had a vision that the battle we are about to have will be different from all previous battles!
It actually was a bit different because his pokemon smacked mine with pain split. Nice job, AI.
aaaaaaaaaaand spooky ghost girl’s here
Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!
okay spooky ghost girl
Just because it can’t be explained by science, doesn’t mean it’s not real.
anything you say spooky ghost girl
You can’t explain your love for Pokemon with science, right?
um well actually
Does that mean it’s not real? I think not!
but science can explain-
no no you’re right i’m just going to go over there now and think about it okay bye
oh god now there’s another one
This Gym exists only by absorbing the power of the cosmos!
Well I guess that’s either very good or very bad.
I’m assuming it’s bad because you’re a freaky ghost who’s happy the lifespan of the universe is being sucked out to power this lightshow.
Okay, looks like I reached the end. Also, that there’s no way to jump back to the beginning.
The area looks really interesting, but it’s linear and there’s only a handful of trainers. It’s very long, but you can’t actually get lost, which is really disappointing.
You know, earlier I was speculating that the lack of flavor text is because of enhanced graphics, and I wonder if that’s behind the lack of trainers as well? The original games had to focus on the actual game aspect because there was little else to recommend them for, so they’d pile trainers into every area. Now, they don’t want to distract you from the shiny comets and constellations.
Gym leader looks weird.
A ritual to decide your fate and future. The battle begins! People are a lot less wordy than usual. Also, she looks much better with her cloak flared.
First off, L44 sigilyph. Then a L45 slowking and a L48 meowstic. Unless my team was weak to psychic, there’s really no way I’d get past Alt-me and still struggle here.
It’s over quick, probably because psychics die easy.
Now, the Psychic Badge. A testament to your skill. Proof of your power. And it’s pretty weird looking.
A symbol of trust. Lv. 90 or below… Pokemon obey.
And I get some dumb calm mind TM.
Special Attack and Special Defense are increased. The Calm Mind TM. Power that grants life awakens–voices of woe. That is your future. Back from whence you came. You can be transported there. Warp to the entrance?
Yup.
Farewell…
And so I’m done. That was anticlimactic.
What’s next?
I’m sure getting the Psychic Badge wasn’t too much trouble for you. Right, Serena?
Yes actually!
There’s some red suit nearby. Are you the one talking, redsuit?
Nope, it’s Alt-me.
Ready for a rematch?
Okay this is just sad now. I’m honestly willing to lose if it means he’ll keep going and actually challenge the gym.
I think it would be fun to compete with my neighbor to be the best in Kalos. But I can’t claim to be competing with you until I beat you at least once!
But a mechanical sound interrupts us!
What’s this?
A holoclip, probably.
BY HOLOCAUSTHAIR SERENA WHY WON’T YOU BLOCK THIS GUY HE’S TERRIBLE
Lysandre: Pokemon Trainers. I come to you by the Holo Caster to make an important announcement. Listen well. Team Flare will revive the ultimate weapon, eliminate everyone who isn’t in our group, and return the world to a beautiful, natural state.
“At which point I’ll detonate the time machine causing time itself to break and freeze the universe like that.”
Unproductive fools are consuming our future… If nothing changes, the world will become ugly and conflicts will raze the land from end to end.
“So I figured I’d raze it first. That’ll teach you!”
I repeat. We will use the ultimate weapon and wipe the slate clean. I’m sorry, those of you who are not members of Team Flare, but this is adieu to you all.
And hologram-him disappears.
Well that resolved none of my issues with the intersection between Team Flare (the organization that’s all about money and charges people for membership) and the leader of Team Flare (who doesn’t seem to even register the concept).
What…was Lysandre saying? Wiping the slate clean? Eliminating everyone but Team Flare?! Serena! Let’s split up and look for Team Flare’s base! Where could Lysandre be, though… We first met him in Lumiose City… Maybe he’s there?
Yes just possibly in that Team Flare cafe he runs. Maybe.
Excited, Alt-me runs off. Before I do the same, let’s chat with the Flare people, I wonder what they thought of it?
Team Flare forever! Because this outfit adds extra pizzazz to drinking espresso at Lysandre Cafe!
So that’s a resounding nothing. Either you don’t have a holo caster, which I thought was how you get your orders, or that was a memo to everyone not in Team Flare…or you’re just totally oblivious.
Right. Hey, pigtails, how about you?
Do you know where Magenta Plaza is? It’s next to the Pokemon Center by Prism Tower, which is in the center of Lumiose City. There’s nothing quite like the coffee from the cafe next to Magenta Plaza.
So you’re both just hinting in case I was too dumb to think of going to Team Flare’s cafe run by the ringleader.
Hey, I wonder if the next route is passable now that I fought Alt-me and got the badge.
Stop! The road up ahead was all torn up by the Durant…
Dammit, game.
Do you know what the real problem with railroad plots is? It takes all the meaning out of doing it willingly. It says nothing about Serena rushing to deal with this problem if she doesn’t have the option of ignoring it.
So I guess this game is similarly railroady and I just haven’t been hitting these as often. Bad form, game.
I’m not entirely sure what you mean by this? The game is linear. They have to have some form of roadblock. I don’t really see how this is better than the first gen’s “You can’t go forward until you have the badge because we say so.” How would you have changed it?
No it’s noooooooot.
The first gen only did the NOPE GO GET THE BADGE thing twice, for the first and second gyms. I should know because I got all the way to the elite four without the third badge on my first playthrough, and I regularly kept the SS Anne around the whole game without any NPCs popping up to say I couldn’t walk out of the town until I finished that sidequest. And only the second of those (the police sprite moving over so you could get through the door) was actually disconnected from the game itself, the first at least had the decency to actually just be a guy who demanded you get a badge.
From there, all roadblocks are proper fetch quest roadblocks. Your path is blocked by a snorlax, so you need a pokeflute, but the guy who has the pokeflute is at the top of Pokemon Tower, but you can’t get to the top because the ghost stops you so you need the Silph scope, but Team Rocket has the scope you you’ve got to go invade their base.
Upon getting the pokeflute you have two different directions you can go in. Then you go down further and oops, water’s in your way, you need surf and in order to use surf you need a badge. There’s no one standing there saying that you just can’t go in that direction until they finish prettying up the beach, which coincidentally they’ll only be done with as soon as you do Plot Item #42. The closest it gets it that Silph also has the guy who eventually moves out of the way of the door thing. That’s all. No bullshit about the bridges being closed for increasingly idiotic reasons.
I’m pretty sure you can get everywhere in the game with just the two required badges (since Misty’s also gives you access to cut) and Koga’s for surf. You only have to go back and get the rest of the badges if you want to challenge the elite four.
I got to the league without beating Sabrina on my first playthrough because I couldn’t figure out Silph. It’s also worth adding that pretty much every city can be accessed multiple ways, allowing you to skip the Seafoam Islands to reach Cinnabar or the Snorlax to reach Fuschia.
Both routes to Fuschia are blocked by a Snorlax though. Or was it possible to take the back route to Cinnabar and then go through the Seafoam Islands backwards? Wait no it definitely wasn’t since you need to hit up Fuschia gym for Surf.
But you can decide which snorlax. When I first played the game I didn’t really know how to catch pokemon and couldn’t catch the first one, so I’d leave that roadblock all game long and eventually come back with my pile of masterballs.
Plus there was Diglett Cave that was a totally optional area that let you double back to an earlier section of the game. It was just there for the sake of existing, no one forced you to complete the quest there to access the next city.
The graphics in the game are beautiful, but you’re right. I do miss a lot of the flavor text. It was fun to get tiny little glimpses into our silent character through it.
As for the railroad plots, I’ve come to expect them in my pokemon games. I don’t mind anymore.