Well, the kitten gave me the key to the candyelevator!
And down Serena goes. And then down more stairs. And then some giant guy behind freaky energy beams.
Listen, one who will face Lysandre.
Already did, actually. Also, so you’re just some human who happens to be really big? Eh.
A terribly long time ago… There was a man and a Pokemon. He loved that Pokemon very much. A war began. The man’s beloved Pokemon took part in the war. Several years passed. He was given a tiny box. The man wanted to bring the Pokemon back. No matter what it took. The man built a machine to give it life. He brought his beloved Pokemon back. The man had suffered too much. His rage still had not subsided. he could not forgive the world that had hurt the Pokemon he loved. He turned the machine into the ultimate weapon. The man became a bringer of destruction that ended the war. The Pokemon that was given life must have known… That the lives of many Pokemon were taken to restore its life. The resurrected Pokemon left the man.
Well okay then.
Get the key back. It should not be used. Everything will vanish again. Do you want to know unending pain…life I have?
Eh.
That is AZ, Holocausthair explains. He has the same name as a king that lived 3,000 years ago. And for some unknown reason, he had the key to the ultimate weapon hung around his neck.
I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic here.
But anyway, there actually is reason to be confused by his name. The story of the king sounds like it’s a war of choice, and the king of all people didn’t have to send out his beloved pokemon if he didn’t want to. The man’s story fits a lot better with him being a citizen who had no say in any of it. And that’s also the only way him blaming everyone else for what happened and making a genocide beam makes the slightest sense. If the king did this, then it’s like bringing Fido to dogfights and then killing everyone when he loses. Actually, it’s like ordering everyone to have dogfights on your lawn, then throwing Fido in, then murdering all of them for it, with a weapon that runs on crushed puppies. After using other crushed puppies to resurrect Fido so it isn’t even like you lost anything.
I guess what I’m saying here is that this story isn’t a very good one.
It’s finally time. Follow me into my chambers.
You should be on all the watch lists, Holocausthair.
Well, nowhere else to go. Sorry, Serena, follow the creepy guy. Just remember, if he looks like he’s going to propose marriage, your pokemon are entirely capable of fainting him. Into pieces.
So the Poke Balls we received and the Pokemon we’ve gathered are where they need to be. Add it all up, and it means all preparations are complete! says some weirdo in a white mask with blue gloves and red everywhere else.
The only thing left to do is put the plan in motion. I’m counting on you. One push of a button, and we can activate the ultimate weapon from this room. He walks up toward Serena. I believe being a chosen one means you have the potential to change the future! Whether we activate the ultimate weapon or leave it safely underground will rest upon if you actually have this potential or not.
Uh.
What?
Oh ho ho! says weirdo guy, who now I can see also has one white glove, or maybe that’s his actual skin since there’s a blue glove in his pocket. You’re the one I’ve heard so much about! I’ve been waiting for you! I need to do a little research on you! Come, let us begin!
Okay, this is apparently Xerosic, and yes, his flesh is actually corpsey white. Only has two pokemon like usual, though, and he opens with a L46 golbat like everybody’s, then his second is a L48 malamar – it’s actually got a smart moveset, where it uses superpower and gets a stat boost instead of drop. But then I kill it with my malamar’s foul play.
Upon my not only inevitable but obviously so victory, he turns away but says, Oh ho ho! You’re wonderful! Your Pokemon are amazing! Then back to overland view and he’s still going. Wonderful! Amazing! You have tremendous skill and bravery! When you add that up, it means I will tell you something very interesting. It happened 3,000 years ago. The ultimate weapon was used to put an end to the war in an instant. If we use that incredible power, we can finally free Kalos of the foolish humans that plague it! Behind me you’ll find a red button and a blue button. One of them is the button for activating the ultimate weapon. Push one now! Come on! Push one!
I vote for pushing neither you freak.
I’m very curious to see the results of my research. To use the ultimate weapon to cleanse this world once and for all… It’s fascinating!
Huh. Well, it lets me just walk off, but I don’t see anyone else, so… I’m not sure if I should leave him alone with this.
But pushing the button seems insane, so let’s go see what happens if I talk to the masked idiots.
Nothing. God, are you good for anything you losers? And even if I was willing to risk taking even longer and going all the way to Professor Sleezy Badjudgement, all he’d do was look at my pokedex and give advice that doesn’t even make sense this generation about how I should look for pokemon by fishing or something when seeing them from battling trainers works just as well.
So I guess it’s up to Serena.
Well. Red is associated with Team Flare and just generally blasting and evil. But maybe that’s what they want me to think?
But I’m certainly not pressing the red button just because it’s unexpected. That’s just stupid.
Push the blue button?
Might as well.
For all I know they both make the weapon go off and they’re just fucking with me, but I’m not sure what else to do.
For the record, this is about the most railroady I think the games have ever been. There is no reason to press the damn button.
Serena pushed the blue button.
Weirdo: You pressed it! Oh ho ho! You pressed the blue switch! Winner, winner! Congratulations! But I’m still going to activate the ultimate weapon! I know the boss promised that we wouldn’t if you pushed the correct button, but I refuse to let the potential go to waste! I’ll just use my remote, here! Click-click! And the power is ON! Come on! Look! Look at the monitor!
And…it’s activating and unfolding and all that. Did I just kill lots of pokemon?
Did you see? Weirdo continues. The ultimate weapon is reborn! The poisonous flower has bloomed! All shall perish! Except for Team Flare!
Man, the final gym is going to be pretty unimpressive after all this.
Look at Geosenge! It has bloomed in Geosenge Town!
Yeah, yeah, I saw.
The boss’s dream of creating a beautiful world will come true! Add it all up, and it equals…a victory for our SCIENCE!
I am really not sure I’d call this science.
I mean, even if I grant that this is working by science at all, and believe me that’s a stretch, I’m not sure you actually know how it works. If you did, you could’ve made your own. All you seem to have figured out is the on button and fuel slot.
Huh. I flew to Geosenge and the Team Flare grunts are there blocking the gates. Isn’t it obvious I’d just fly in? Also, they’re facing me and don’t seem to care I’m there.
Oh, wait. When I try to enter from the other direction, the roadblock is at the bridge before the stones. So that’s why they’re facing inward and not blocking the other entrance to the town.
Hey, that would mean once again they’re taking advantage of game mechanics that are at odds with the story, in this case the fact I’m only able to fly somewhere with a pokemon center. I really hope the designers have got it out of their system this game and won’t keep doing this.
What secret do the stones contain? Why are they able to absorb energy?
I’m going to guess crystals.
Just what kind of technology did they have 3,000 years ago?
I wouldn’t say technology, since it seems like the whole thing is based on some guy inventing all of it on the spot.
Basically a murder-Tessela.
I still don’t have any regrets about joining Team Flare!
Well, good for you.
Right then, back to Geosenge. Let’s chat with the blockers there.
One: So the ultimate weapon can only be powered with the life energy of Pokemon…
Two: Nope! I can’t hear them! I won’t listen to the Pokemon’s cries!
So…are the pokemon chained up outside waiting for this, or currently being drained, or what? Also, I can’t hear them either, and it’s not a matter of denial there.
Three: The mysterious stone is absorbing energy…
Yes that’s been well established.
Four: I can’t let you beyond this point! A kid like you shouldn’t be exposed to such sights.
But it’s okay for her to die in the upcoming holocaust?
Let’s try talking to the people standing outside the remaining doors (save, of course, the pokecenter).
Um? Where was the entrance to our secret HQ again? Was it in a boulder?
Dammit, game. Even if I’d forgotten, obviously I’ll trip over it when I try exploring the area.
Next person: I bought a new life for $5,000,000!
And that’s all.
So, are they just a straight up cult? Because earlier it seemed they were motivated by the promise of getting money, and now they don’t even care that all the group does is funnel their money from them to the cult.
Anyway, let’s go check out the boulder.
And there’s some other grunt to stop me. Afterward:
Lysandre does whatever he can to help us realize our goals. Surely he deserves respect for that!
I’m getting more confused about what Team Flare is. First it was a club for baby republicans, then it was cleanse the sinful earth cult stuff, now it’s self-help?
Anyway, this guy at least has the decency to run off after I beat him. So let’s go do that boulder for real now.
Serena, you’re not in this alone!
FUCKING ALT-ME DID I SAY YOU WERE A REAL CHARACTER?
YOU ARE ALT-ME AND THE ACTUAL ME IS HERE.
When I was in Lysandre’s lab, the masked heroes told me what was going on. They also told me what Team Flare plans to do with the ultimate weapon!
That second line was covered by the first, you know.
C’mon! Let’s stop Team Flare… No… We have to stop Lysandre himself!
It’s not that I can figure out why they’d be paying the scriptwriter by the word, it’s just I can’t figure out anything that makes more sense.
I…I want to protect my friends!
…
Oh, you’re done. You can follow me, tell me I’m awesome, and give me passwords or whatever, I guess.
Or I guess you’ll just keep standing there instead.