To Route 19!

“Time for a Pokemon battle.”
…Is what the me from 10 seconds ago said.

okay spooky ghost girl sure

She has two L50 pumpkaboo so she’s on par with my boss battle against Holocausthair. See what I mean about this all being rather anticlimactic?Did you really battle and defeat me? Am I the same person as the person you just defeated moments ago? I can’t prove that…

I’m pretty sure you’re all the same ghost stalking me.

Lady S! Pinkie manages to stick a music note even in a spikeybox. Hey, do you know what’s about to happen? I’ve been mulling that over, actually.

My choices: Of course! and Nope. What is it? Going to have to go with latter, since I can’t believe all that’s left of the game is beating the league.

We’re going to battle, silly!

Oh. Well that is a surprise. Let’s do it!

We ARE Pokemon trainers, after all! And a music note. Then the battle.

With a lot of twirling, she sends out a delcatty. L49. Game, the trainers around here all have L49 OR MORE pokemon.

Weirdly, it seems delcatty isn’t a fairy type.

Then a goodra, also L49. I guess this is what my sluggoo evolves into? But then, why hasn’t mine? She’s L56.

And then she sends in her final pokemon, a L51 chesnaught…. OH. I get it. Chestnut.

It has a protect-type move that does damage instead of just blocking. Also, it dies to a single acrobatics from my L53 talonflame.

Aw, she looks sad. I’m sorry Pinkie, I agree they should’ve let you had better pokemon.

Battles with friends are really, really exciting!

…you don’t look excited, you look upset.

That reminded me of our battle in Aquacorde Town! That was the first time for both of us to battle with our Pokemon!

Then suddenly, more spikeyboxing from someone offscreen.

Hello, Lady S. Hi, Shauna. God, does spikeyboxing mean nothing anymore?

And it’s the annoyances. Why haven’t you died of magic radiation yet?

Orange: What are you two up to?

Wondering why you haven’t died of magic radiation yet I just said that.

Pinkie: Nothing big. How about you guys?

DAMMIT PINKIE IF YOU SAY THAT THEY’LL KEEP TALKING

Green: Why, the same thing as you, Shauna. We heard about Lady S from the professor, and we came running as fast as we could.

Oh dear lord now Orange is trying to do a fighting pose no Orange you suck.

Orange: Lady S! Can we have a Pokemon battle?

Yes, I would enjoy crushing you beneath my sandled feet.

Oh, uh…sorry to just throw that at you…

Nope, no getting out of it, throw out your first pokemon or take the attack yourself.

He sends out a L48 talonflame, then a L52 crawdaunt. Dammit game, I was just about to be impressed you actually let Pinkie have the better team just because she wasn’t some twit who built his “pokemon team” around dancing. But no. Anyway, my durant acquits herself well, knocking it out in a single x-scissor. The same fate is shared by his L49 rosarade.

It’s weird but… I don’t get that down when I lose to you, he says, his face a mask of disappointment. Clearly he knows all he can do now is try to deny me my true victory of crushing his soul.

Pinkie: Wow! Tierny asking someone to battle? What’s up with that?
Orange: Geosenge Town made me think… If Lady S hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t be dancing now, that’s for sure.

Oh way to undercut my victory.

That made me want to get to know Lady S better, and I thought a battle would be the best way to do that. It’s kinda selfish of me, I guess. But it’s also a way of thanking her. Why so much talking always.

Then Green runs over because obviously what we need more of is wording at Orange so he can take up still more narrative space.

Green: Tierno… It’s great when Pokemon Trainers like us can understand the hearts and minds of other Trainers and their Pokemon through battle.

My hatred for you both is obviously not getting through.

But before we do anything else, we should heal your Pokemon. Now it’s your turn, Lady S.

Figured that was coming. Still, I’m pleased the game at least made me fight two people in a row first, and without even giving free healing at the start!

I think I will follow the crowd and be your opponent as well.

That was obvious.

But this time, it won’t be about the Pokedex. It will be a Pokemon battle!

Yes that’s what I was referring to.

Wow he is frowny in battle.

He opens with a L49 raichu. It spends all its time using slam.

Then there’s…florges? Is that the final evolution of not-flower fairymon? L52. And l49 aerodactyl.

You’re even stronger than I thought! he says, slumping comically in defeat.

Green: There is still so much I don’t know. Do I just now have what it takes?

Given you didn’t bother challenging gym leaders, yes. You don’t have the ability to even understand what you’re doing.

Pinkie: Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever heard you worry about being weak or strong before, Trevor! Musical note. She’s feeding on his suffering. You seem a lot bolder than you used to be. Is it because you went on a journey? Or maybe it’s thanks to what you learned from being with your Pokemon, and with us–

Learned stuff like how super awesome and better than anyone I am.

your friends!

Seriously Pinkie he’s not my friend just accept it.

Pinkie: Speaking of which… Where’s Calem?

Given he’s no one’s friend, don’t know what you mean.

Orange: He’s off training with the Mega Evolution guru.

“After looting the mega ring off Holocausthair’s body, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

Orange: He said friends are friends even if they can’t be together.
Green: Indeed! Well, there’s something we must attend to. Be seeing you!

The idiot twosome runs off.

Pinkie: I’m so glad I went on a journey. I made some great friends. And thanks to my Li’l Chespin that I met before we left, I was able to visit many places, meet a lot of nice people, and make many wonderful memories! Music note. Lady S… This is from us.

And now I have waterfall! Excellent.

Even if you’re battling without the Badge from Snowbelle City Gym, you can use Waterfall! I’ve gotta get going! See you!

Okay then. Continuing across the bridge seems to get me to the end of the route, but I can see all sorts of stuff below. Looks marshy and interesting, so I’ll backtrack.

Ergh there’s broken gravestones in the water again WHY

And there’s pokemon rangers all over! Why aren’t you cleaning this up? What are you people even for if not removing putrefying corpses from where people will be forced to wade through corpse juice and angry ghosts?

I find an escape rope at one broken stone, but there is no escape. None.

It’s a Pokemon Ranger’s duty to ensure that Pokemon can live the same way tomorrow as they do today.

So that’s a no on the corpse cleanup.

Her pokemon is L54. God, the pacing of this game…

Another berry tree! This one gives me a yache berry.

Oh good god there’s someone in a bikini in the corpse juice.

I feel kind of embarrassed in a swimsuit, so I like to swim in murky water like this to stay out of sight.

Then why aren’t you wearing something with more coverage? Aren’t there any other swimsuits than bikinis? No what am I saying I’ve spent the whole game trying to find non-miniskirts. Okay, point.

But still, surely there’s murky water around that isn’t a former graveyard.

Somehow battling with her cures her body image problem and she says she’ll go head to a real beach. And none too soon given I just found a rare bone.

Hey, drapion! Now I don’t need to evolve the what’sit’sname. Also wow does it look scary bursting out of a pokeball.

It takes pride in its strength. Even though it can tear foes apart, it finishes them off with powerful poison.

You know what else is great about catching pokemon? Not having to hunt down the pokemon in the pokedex after evolution to find out what the entry says.

Alright, I’ve made it to the next town.