Last time, I won. Let’s fire up the game and see where it goes from here.
I wake up in my room. Actually, the purple outfit goes surprisingly well here.
Let’s go downstairs.
Serena! Mom runs over. I saw the parade on TV! Professor Sycamore went all out trying to get everyone to show up for you, you know!
…Excuse me? Professor Sycamore went all out trying to get everyone to show up for you, you know! Game, why are you making the fact I had a parade in my honor about the professor and how great he is?
That reminds me… I received a message from Professor Sycamore. He says he wants to meet you at Lumiose Station.
Seriously this has turned bizarre so fast. My mother sees the parade in my honor for saving the entire world (also beating the pokemon league and becoming the champion) and instead of “I’m proud of you!” it’s “Wasn’t the professor nice? Oh right, and he wants to talk to you!”
Do you know where that is? If you don’t, it’s just a quick cab ride. I wonder why he wants to meet you now, though. He should’ve just talked to you at the parade.
True, but it’s probably more secret stuff because he and his love pointless secrecy. See also refusing to talk to me at all about stuff.
Anyway, that done she runs back to the kitchen, still not a word of actual acknowledgement for poor Serena.
Outside is Pinkie.
Lady S! That parade was so great! Ummm… I have something I want to ask you. Do you mind? I want to trade Pokemon with you, Lady S! They’ll be like friendship bracelets, but Pokemon! And musical note.
I’ll give you this Chespin! I found it in an Egg! Another musical note. Huh, I was wondering for a minute there if my choice would be to trade one of my champion-winning pokemon to her right now for a member of her team, but I guess not. Also, Pinkie, the word is “hatched”.
You can give me any Pokemon you want!
See, that just makes her cringing “can I ask you” so much worse.
Anyway, I trade her a fennekin. Seems fair.
Yay!
And the trade commences. She named it Chester.
Your Pokemon is really special to me, Lady S! Music note. Of course, each and every Pokemon is special, too!
Nice save.
If I talk to her again, she says, I’m really amazed when I think about the five of us that were chosen in Kalos! I mean, if I hadn’t been chosen, I wouldn’t have met you, Lady S! Music note.
Yeah, but I wouldn’t have met those other two idiots and Calem the nutjob asshole.
Talking again…
When I see a Pokemon I traded for, it always makes me think of the person who traded it to me!
Again…
Know what? I’m going to go to a faraway region next time! I’ll make lots of great memories while I’m there! Music note.
And then the box switches position and she start repeating one of those at random. She also says, I can’t imagine riding a Rhyhorn and racing! Your mom sure is amazing, Lady S! Music note. Yeah maybe, but I get the impression she doesn’t think that of Serena.
So I’ve got a chespin now.
The quills on its head are usually soft. When it flexes them, the points become so hard they can pierce rock.
So anyway. I don’t have a flying type on me, so I head off to a pokemon center. The map has a few tantalizing locations – there’s the Unknown Dungeon at the village, and whatever’s at the bottom of the mine that I couldn’t explore before.
But professor-couldn’t-tell-Holocausthair-was-holocausty wanted me, right? So fine, let’s go to Lumiose first.
Stop right there! Skirt and Trousers appear. Ahahahaha! Sorry, sorry. We always seem to be surprising you, don’t we? We’re just here to give you something the professor forgot about last time.
Trousers, he can’t be more than ten feet away.
…Central Kalos! Skirt adds. Uh – what?
…Costal Kalos! she continues.
…Mountain Kalos! she concludes. There are more Pokemon in Kalos than you’ll find in those three Pokedexes!`Didja know that?
I did not.
That’s basically what we’re here about. We’ll power up your Pokedex for you!
And now I have the “national” pokedex.
Trousers reexplains how to look at the pokedex, and Skirt adds, You’d better keep on treasuring the time you get with your Pokemon from now on, got it? Why? What do you know that I don’t?
This precious time that you fought for…
And she leave, followed by Trousers. Not ominous at all!
Well, on to the idiot.
How did you like your parade, Serena? So the reason I asked you to come here is… I wanted to give you a pass to Kiloude City! A question mark floats above his head for a moment. Doesn’t ring any bells? Kiloude City is a city in the southern part of the Kalos region. And it’s the perfect place for trainers looking to sharpen their skills!
Oh god no.
So here’s your pass for the super high-speed rail to Kiloude City! And I get that. Use it to ride the TMV super high-speed rail! Take your pass to that scanner over there. It’s an orange machine. Have the machine scan your pass to board the train. Have a fantastic time!
Nope.
Right then, so, the dungeons!
There’s the Unknown Dungeon, of course, located in the pokemon village. In that same corner of the map is also something called the Chamber of Emptiness, described as A mysterious void. It is said nothing can exist within it. Not sure how I could get there yet, though. Then the Terminus Cave, which is similar to the Unknown Dungeon in that I assume it’s open now. Finally, there’s Sea Spirit’s Den, which is up on the sea route I started exploring but quit. A pit in the shallows of Azure Bay thought to have been born from an ancient outpouring of energy. Actually, I think I’ll go there! That was the only time it seemed like I actually had a choice about where to go and I didn’t take it. (Though given Terminus Cave, maybe I’d have been told I couldn’t go farther if I’d tried.)
Oh hey, on the pokemon cuddling minigame area, I just got Supreme Honor Poke Puffs. Nice.
What the fuck Zapdos just attacked me. And then fled. Before there were any turns. Uh. Are the legendary birds just going to divebomb me occasionally? That’s actually pretty cool.
Well then, my wailmer’s evolving. Now I’ve got a wailord.
It can sometimes knock out opponents with the shock created by breaching and crashing its big body onto the water.
Made it to the cave, but it seems there’s nothing here yet. Ah well. To the next area!
Let’s try Pokemon Village.
And yes, looks like the guy blocking that is gone.
Okay, so let’s enter the Unknown Dungeon anDIT’S MEWTWO ABORT ABORT
Didn’t see me. Okay, so first, let’s check out the waterfall. Psychic TM. How fitting. Right, well, let’s edge back into the cave.
It’s just Mewtwo. Nothing but Mewtwo. He’s facing away from me. He doesn’t seem to care I’ve entered.
Talking to him triggers a cutscene, then he attacks. Apparently he says Mew now. I can’t run from the battle.
Losing to Mewtwo means he’s still there when I come back, but successfully running from him results in him melding into the shadows and disappearing.
But Mewtwo’s never been the sort you actually best in battle. Time for the masterball.
It was created by a scientist after years of horrific gene splicing and DNA-engineering experiments.
Underneath him was a Mewtwonite X. My, that’s a silly looking name. Well, let’s have a look at it…
And Zapdos just divebombed me again. Hi, Zapdos!
Okay, now for digivolution. Mewtwo mega evolved into…
…buffer tigery Mewtwo? Ah. And I see it actually is buffer tigery Mewtwo, with an inflated attack. Also, now his ability is Steadfast.
Well, it’s not bad looking, it’s just not an improvement on regular Mewtwo. Also, Mewtwo already has a move that lets him use his ungodly special attack against another pokemon’s defense, so…
You can feed him pokepuffs! Also, he doesn’t like being patted on the head, and he plays the expression game but looks very disdainful of me.
On to the cave. Another noibat! Mewtwo faints it by accident. On the other hand, my starter tagalongs all level up.
Not sure I’ve listed their entries, since they’re all trade fodder, so:
Charmander:
The flame on its tail indicates Charmander’s life force. If it is healthy, the flame burns brightly.
Bulbasaur:
A strange seed was planted on its back at birth. The plant sprouts and grows with the pokemon.
Froakie (“Bubble Frog Pokemon”):
It secretes flexible bubbles from its chest and back. The bubbles reduce the damage it would otherwise take when attacked.
I’ve also got a larvitar someone sent me.
It feeds on soil. After it has eaten a large mountain, it falls asleep so it can grow.
Ah, and I see I’m no longer blocked from proceeding. Wise, given I have Mewtwo and there’s nothing more annoying than having a godmon and people not letting you through anyway.
Right. This area seems big. I found a patch of green grass where there’s a hole letting light in, and a lustrous orb on there. Another holds a big nugget. And a griseous orb. And an adamant orb.
At the center of the room is…something. Something big.
Zzzz-dddd-aaaaa!
Zygarde. It looks awesome.
I actually forgot to save, so this is tense. Mewtwo whittles it down – thank god I taught him rock slide for this area – and I get lucky and have Froakie’s lick attack paralyse it. Then I use the starter gang to whittle it down. Finally, dusk ball.
After a lot of leveling for the rest of my team, I get to see Zygarde’s entry. It’s apparently the Order pokemon. When the Kalos region’s ecosystem falls into disarray, it appears and reveals its secret power. So I guess Holocausthair jumped the gun and if he’d just waited for things to actually get bad, this would’ve shown up and genocided more reasonably until things were fixed?
Now time for the evolution.
Charmander to charmeleon!
It lashes about with its tail to knock down its foe. It then tears up the fallen opponent with sharp claws.
Bulbasaur to ivysaur!
There is a plant bulb on its back.
When it absorbs nutrients, the bulb is said to
blossom into a large flower.
Froakie to frogadier!
It can throw bubble-covered pebbles with precise control, hitting empty cans up to a hundred feet away.
Pinkie’s Chester to quilladin!
It relies on its sturdy shell to deflect predators’ attacks. It counterattacks with its sharp quills.
Hey, charmeleon can still learn dig. Are charizard still immune to earthquake while digging?