Reached Nov. 27th.

Counting Down (SS, DD, PI, PS (CD, HB, AD))

Hm. I found this amusing but really hard to follow. It seems like that’s a deliberate thing, with a lot of people saying/reacting to things and then later the narration getting to what’s actually there, but while bits of that worked I think you went overboard. Describing the bomb setup earlier on would have helped.

The characterization of everyone was great, though.

The Eye Thing (PS (SS))

whoops this is a dumb drabbly thing

Arg, no. A drabble is a writing exercise of exactly a hundred words that generally involves extensive editing and polishing.

The story itself is quite good – Scout actually resembles Slick, Scofflaw seems to have a degree of respect for Scout’s abilities and I like how he’s playful and somewhat fallible here, and also that he isn’t getting what he wants even if he is pretty powerful. Making jokes about Scout’s eye seems exactly like what he’d do.

If more of the flipped verse was like this I probably wouldn’t resent its very existence.

Score (Slick (Snowman))

There are probably tons of other shorts of this scene

Surprisingly no, actually.

Slick’s characterization here is questionable. You have his reasoning mostly down, but your word choice really doesn’t sound like him at all – this is someone who struggles to manage one-liners, he’s not going to sound polished when he’s thinking. And while I can see him wishing things go better/happier next time around, I think “loving” is a bit much.

She didn’t think he had it in him. Didn’t think he could pull the trigger.

And this really doesn’t make sense for her, either. The whole point of everything was to get Slick to do that. It’s clear she was in on that, and even if she wasn’t, it’s really obvious he’s ready to by now.

Homesnuck (OCs)

Hm. I’m only familiar up to MGS3, but I found this pretty amusing and you did a good job of mimicking the Homestuck format while putting your own spin on things, and I thought the chat names were a nice touch. It did seem longer than it needed to be for the amount of plot, though.

We Will All Go Together When We Go (PS, HD, PI (NB, AD, Death))

Very well done. It’s light for the subject matter while still keeping a serious undercurrent, and I particularly like the discussion about the stars going out. It seems like how people would act in a situation like this. And it’s a nice change to see a version of this where other people are still alive when Slick decides to shoot the universe, because it’s not like Slick would care.

“Oh god watch where you aim that!” she giggled

If it’s not a verb that describes how the words were said, it’s part of a separate sentence instead and capitalized as such.

When I Am Surrounded (PS, PI (SS, DD))

The deal isn’t a good one for Problem Sleuth: beat Diamonds Droog in a fight, and Slick’ll be his bitch for a change.

It’s that lovely mix of homophobic and misogynistic. If we squint we might pretend that it’s just the characters’ views and the way it’s completely unchallenged by the narrative to the point it’s there in the summary is just a writing issue.

It’s also yet another one where the characters are willingly in horribly unbalanced abusive relationships. It’s really weird how we have a large section of fandom hates Snowman and Snowman/Slick, then goes off to invent an alternate pairing that’s even more fucked up to coo over.

GnymphoQuest 2011! (Jade (A whole lot of other people))

Huh. I was not expecting this to be particularly good based on the summary, but it’s actually cute, funny, and plausibly IC.

Spades Slick Doesn’t Understand Jesus and Other Implausible Intermission Tales Inspired By Bad Country Western Music (SS (PS, DD))

This really seems like it’s a particular joke you thought was funny and you grabbed Slick at random to tell it. And it’s not really one that’s funny enough to hold up a whole story, let alone two.

It’s weird when people are confused why I’m doing something because they figure it’s a waste of my time. I mean, have those people seen the internet? Doing this isn’t even in the bottom million.

The Wise Man, Like the Fool (Signless (Aradiacester))

This is really predictable. There’s nothing here that tries to make it ambiguous if this is a story where things aren’t going like they will in canon – if Handmaid is going to disobey English, or if the Signless will figure things out in time – and it’s not adding anything to either character as a straight retelling. It’s just the Handmaid seeming to help but ultimately he fails, and the Signless not suspecting until he finally dies.

Nights Like This (DD (PI))

This seems like it has no relation to the characters besides that PI likes puzzles. He’s not hopelessly pathetic compared to PS and AD, and if he was getting shot up all the time, they’d stop asking him to back them up and they’d be doing something about his injuries instead of leaving him to stagger off to DD. And if this was happening all the time, I’d think DD would have stocked up by now on things like morphine and also probably bought spare clothes for him to use. And instead of sitting around thinking helplessly that sooner or later the Felt will kill him, he’d have decided to kill the Felt and the rest of the non-Crew criminals in the area first.

I do not get the desire to make them huggy boyfriends. There are so many characters that you can make huggy boyfriends and then stick in a noir AU.

And Nothing Left To Lose(Slick (Snowman))

Lovely writing, and you characterize the two well.

The Ruby Tie-tack (Snowman (Slick, Droog, Sleuth))

Caught up with this fic again. I hope it finishes, I’m curious what’s going on.

Doll Parts (PM (Jack))

The magic ever-worsening AU again.

It’s weird, I both feel she’s deluding herself and that it’s inevitable she’ll kill Jack at some point down the line.

First Day Out (HB)

It’s nice to see fics focusing on the cloning weirdness, and I like all the little details of this.

Vigil (DD (PI, PS, SS))

This seems really OOC on Droog’s part.

You bled his mistress to death while you cut him into small scraps of meat that were distributed across a mile-square area for the scavengers. It had taken nearly a day. Your ears are still ringing from the screams. You would have gone for the man’s family, but it would have been disrespectful to your Inspector’s memory.

Also, I don’t see how the guy shooting PI was the fault of the women, let alone any kids.

The author gives me the unsetling feeling they think killing the mistress is justified and possibly that not killing the wife is magnanimous.

From Your Veins Will Drip My Miracles(DD (PI))

This seems more IC. The animal comparisons were a bit over the top, though.

Droog Really Loves Food (DD (SS))

See? Reviewing is nowhere near the bottom million.

SS, DD, PI, PS (CD, HB, AD)
PS (SS)
Slick (Snowman)
OCs
PS, HD, PI (NB, AD, Death)
PS, PI (SS, DD) nr
Jade (A whole lot of other people)
SS (PS, DD)
Signless (Aradiacester)
DD (PI)
Slick (Snowman)
PM (Jack)
HB
DD (PI, PS, SS)
DD (PI)
DD (SS) nr

Three of sixteen.