Still Dec 18th
Chapter 21: Midnight Crew, Slick is sick (Boxcars (SS, DD, CD, MOC))
Sick Slick is amusing but the second half is pretty weak – it’s not really fun to watch the protagonists to outsmart the police if there’s nothing there to outsmart and they just agree with any old stuff the person says. At least something halfway clever like claiming they’re going around because they know the police would assume they did it rather than just that robbers are scary, and also, outright threatening them with Slick is obvious too. More subtlety (like, that Slick is sick so they don’t want to bring him in for questioning, who wants to deal with that kind of thing) would have been better.
Chapter 22: Midnight Crew, Indiana Jones (Slick (DD, HB, CD, Die))
Hm. On the one hand frogs are a thing in Homestuck and the idea of using them in place of a snakepit is really, really funny, and Slick being horrified by something harmless even more so. On the other, we know Slick can’t be that horrified by frogs when he takes his name from one and his other version spends his time stamping on the ones Jade breeds rather than recoiling in horror. Might make more sense if it was Droog or maybe Boxcars being unfathomably creeped out by them.
The whole Indiana Jones riff is well done here, though.
Chapter 23: Midnigh Crew, Deuce gets angry with Slick (HB (CD, SS))
This is different and it’s nice to see Crew interactions.
Chapter 24: Mobsterswitch PI and AD, PS/SS, the Lion King (PI, SS (PS, AD))
I like that this is more subtle with the reference – some lines from the song but worked into a more normal conversation, and with PS and SS’s own side conversation as its own scene.
Chapter 25: Slick/Sleuth, Getting old (PS (SS, Rose, Kanaya))
Hm. This really seems like Old Guy fanfic more than anything – they’re not precisely OOC, but they’re really defined by the new trait you’ve given them more than any of their canon traits. Entertaining old guy characters, though. Rose and Kanaya’s snarkiness seemed more them.
Also, if the old woman is spending her money at the casino to the point her husband suspects something, then Slick shouldn’t be concerned about her counting cards or anything since it’s not like she’s walking out a winner or anything. Am I missing something?
Chapter 26: Midnight Crew and the Felt, Road trip (SS (CD, DD, HB, Die, Clover))
Hm. I find it questionable if Slick would much care about not getting gratitude for saving the world when he’s simultaneously admitting it’s only done for selfish reasons, plus can’t he just stab Die?
“Wow Slick,” Droog muttered, at length. “Parenthood much?”
Slick jerked the wheel around and the van went up on 2 wheels as it spun a U-turn. “And you’re gonna be fucking first!”
This is hilarious, though.
Chapter 27: Snowman/HD, Unexpected (HD (Snowman))
Snowman! Being herself at people!
Chapter 28: Spades Slick, Alcoholics Anonymous (DD (SS, FOC))
Lovely from start to finish. The recurring “probably” in Droog’s explanation of how Slick is drinking too much is a nice touch, as is the idea Slick went there just on the promise of free coffee.
Chapter 29: DD/PI, Genderbent PI gets pregnant (DD (femPI))
Eh. This is just the usual guy freaking out about pregnancy. And violent murderer characters don’t even fit that all that well – if Droog didn’t want to deal with a baby, you have to spend a bit explaining why marching his girlfriend to the nearest abortion doctor isn’t an option. For it to be some horrible nightmare to him requires him to have no power over the situation, and that’s hard to buy.
There is a terrible lack of abortion in fic.
More locally, there’s a terrible lack of remembering DD got the first child kill in the comic.
Chapter 30: Slick/Sleuth, Koalas (PS (SS))
This is some amusing shenanigans, but they’re ones that have nothing much to do with the characters involved.
Boxcars (SS, DD, CD, MOC)
Slick (DD, HB, CD, Die)
HB (CD, SS)
PI, SS (PS, AD)
PS (SS, Rose, Kanaya)
SS (CD, DD, HB, Die, Clover)
HD (Snowman)
DD (SS, FOC)
DD (femPI)
PS (SS)
One of ten.
”
There is a terrible lack of abortion in fic.”
Coz has said she hasn’t written about Snowman discovering she’s pregnant because realistically that fic would quickly end with a call to the doctor. I have told her she should write it anyway.
Are you going to keep this up through the first week of October before B2/W2 comes out?
I mean a lot of it has to do with author preference. I’m not against abortion at all, but it makes me uncomfortable and sad to think about writing it, mostly because I don’t like writing about sad things in general. Not that the abortion itself is sad, necessarily – the character might even be relieved – but the situation that spawns it, the decision that goes into it, is often a difficult and emotional time.
Also, it’s a hot subject, and a difficult one to handle sensitively in fiction. There are countless examples of abortion in fiction being handled poorly, and I feel like if I did attempt to write that option, I would add another tally to them. Not, again, that it SHOULDN’T be handled in fiction – every element of life should be written about, I think, even the sad, or scary, or painful ones – but it’s a bit of a heavy subject for fanfic and I am not really interested in wading into those waters for the sake of Homestuck fanfiction …
But Farla is right: realistically, that would have been the outcome for that fic. Droog would have marched PI to the clinic, at gunpoint if necessary, and that would have been the end of it. The relationship would probably end there. It’s why I copped-out and went with a dream, because personal preference, abortion is just not a subject I want to write.
That is perfectly understandable, and obviously no one *has* to write anything that makes them uncomfortable, but… well, you’re already writing about murderers. Many of their routine activities are way, way more unpleasant than what is essentially a surgical procedure. I would think that finding a light and funny side of abortion, especially for someone who really wants one, couldn’t be that much more difficult than injecting levity into murder.
Aw, yeah, i mean, you’re right, it is just surgery but … i dunno, murder is funny in a black way, sometimes, but i have trouble seeing humor in abortion, idk, i think my personal feelings on the matter sort of color my opinion on it. :c it just makes me, personally, sad to think about it, so i have a hard time finding humor there! other authors, though, are different from me, and have different opinions and life experiences! somewhere out there there are authors who COULD find humor in that situation, because they have led different lives and all that. i’m just not the person to do that, i guess!
Makes perfect sense. :)
There are countless examples of abortion in fiction being handled poorly
Actually, surprisingly few. It’s rarely more than a side mention even when it is being handled badly. In most fiction, it doesn’t exist, and for specifically pregnancy related fiction, it’s brought up and then discarded.
I’m mostly bitter about it from the subgenre of teenage pregnancy stories where the girl always ends up giving it away for adoption because that’s the right choice/atonement route.
It’s why I copped-out and went with a dream, because personal preference, abortion is just not a subject I want to write.
But my larger problem is that it’s OOC. There are plenty of people who do feel like that about abortion and wouldn’t consider the option. If you want to write a story where that’s it, all you had to do is write anyone other than Droog.
Or else write around it some other way, like having Droog not care enough to bother doing anything beyond breaking up with PI in advance of the fat and unattractive to Droog stage. If you’re ignoring major parts of who the characters are for a sitution to play out how you want, then there’s no point using them for it.
no man i see what you’re saying! the fic’s not terrifically written, but what i’m saying is, if it HAD gone longer and it HADN’T been a dream, droog would have done either of those two things: left or insisted on abortion. but i didn’t even want to broach the topic because i am a big chicken, so i had it be a dream and had the fem-PI scenario end there before droog had the chance to process anything besides ‘many babies’.
Well, to me the problem is already there in Droog’s initial reaction. If you’d written more and it was immediate abortion, I’d just have complained this wasn’t consistent with Droog’s initial horror. It’s like someone who’s already fine using birth control wouldn’t spend a while agonizing about how they want to have sex but what if they get pregnant from unprotected sex.
You know what would be fun? Slick being smug about how she’s going to get pregnant and either getting set straight or just getting increasingly confused when she fails to ever have a baby. It’s not like he’d know anything more about reproduction than where you stick it in.
That would be fun! And may or may not show up in whatever it she started writing after I gave her a little poke and showed her this conversation. >:D
You didn’t answer my question, though!
Yay abortion!
Oh, right. I’m planning to start Battle Royale because it’s a million chapters, and do carapaces on Sunday the way I was before.
…it will take you a month to finish this anthology. D:
How are you planning to split up the AO3 carapace reviews and pit reviews during November?
…by just reviewing FFN for the month…
If I manage to actually finish carapace fic there, I’ll then review Aoooooooooooo fic for the rest of the month.
You’re going to get lapped around the calendar!
It’s possible that I might finish FFN in time!