2/5-2/17

Survival (Aradiacester)

Hm. This really seems more like an AU version of Aradia – the Handmaid shares nothing much with her upbringing and personality, just the blood color. Anyway, what you have so far is decent enough but too short to really make much of a story.

Discard the Inhuman (Davesprite (Bro, John))

A million dead birds on the pavements and deserts and plains of a hundred countries; all of them crying for the world to stop being so unfair—two million wings snapped before their time. And you turned to Bro and said, ‘but Bro, there are dead kids everywhere too. They get buried’. To you then there was no difference between lives, no specific value to each kind of them.

This really doesn’t seem like Dave. It feels like you thought up an interesting tangent and got so caught up in it you forgot to think about how the character actually acts. The reason Davesprite has crow wings is because he accidentally skewered a crow, remember. And it was Jade who responded to seeing the dead bird with sympathy that motivated her prototyping, while Dave just shoved it out a window.

If anything, this would probably work better with Davesprite coming to this realization now after being prototyped, which would also serve to give this fic a character arc, rather than starting and ending with him thinking it sucks that other people rank different forms of life differently.

A Nasty Little Fic (PI, DD)

If I understand correctly I’m to pass over these until I hit a more recent one. So I shall!

The Final Ship (Condesce, Aradiacester)

Hm. Rather rushed, but it works.

Historical Relevance (Doc Scratch (Condesce))

This doesn’t seem to fit well with what’s in canon. With the size and number of lower bloods, formally enslaving all of them seems timeconsuming and with the lowest blood colors, possibly somewhat of a drain – plenty of the mayfly castes aren’t even going to be too useful, and even slaughtering the less useful is still going to take forever given the number imbalance. You’re better off on some sort of serf system where if they don’t do well enough they die without needing any extra effort on their owner’s part.

with some slaves even earning their freedom and an honorary caste adjustment upon defeating certain highblood worthy warriors.

Plus, when you have a strict caste system based on clear physical traits, why on earth would you then suggest people can become “honorary” higher castes? That suggests that someone can be the equal of a higher blooded troll. If they were going to do anything it’s much cleaner to just say they were in the special freed section of their normal blood color.

whilst slaves typically had no house at all. Indeed, many had no lodgings at all and were forced to sleep in the wilderness.

It’s repeatedly stated that their sun is deadly, so they’d all need somewhere to rest.

The way you handled their romance is similarly troubled. It’s annoying that you seem to be conflating tradition and the way humans do things with the objectively moral and good way for all species to function, with any divergences being unnatural things done for evil. And the introduction of the quadrants doesn’t even make sense – how is the dead seadweller part of making up the idea of a kismesis when he hated her other suitor because he loved her and she then killed him? Also, what does the whole affair have to do with wanting to invent quadrants when the key issue is she’s angry one suitor killed another one and presumably doesn’t want that to keep happening?

The Beginning of Something Really Excellent

This would appear to be a very long sburb fanfic including BQ and the other Dersites. It would also appear to be a crossover with something I have no familiarity with at all.

All That Jazz

This fic again! Again FFN pays off.

That Fic Where Black Queen Shows Dave How To Be A Man (BQ (Rose, Dave))

It’s always disappointing when an author just throws up their hands and stops trying as some sort of defense against people not liking it.

Also female characters taking advantage of males to give them blowjobs remains weird and counter-intuitive even as it becomes a cliche.

But no really, why is “using someone for personal enjoyment” linked to “give them a blowjob” in internet porn’s collective mind?

Thorns (PS (SS))

I hate the crossoververse. This is the counterpoint to that nice fic I reviewed over on FFN. This one’s all about PS in a prompt asking for intermission characters and took a prompt about Slick being vanilla to mean OP needed some OOC woobie Slick, stat.

Chain of Prospit (MOC, MOC, FOC. MOC (MOC))

Ugh. This is just how much a woman’s capture and potential rape pisses off her boyfriend and how he’s so unstoppable and badass.

Also just look at our character list today! Here, like fucking always, soldiers=guys.

First Dates (John, AD, Equius, DD, Aradia, Sollux, Tavros, Kanaya, Karkat, Snowman (Itchy, Vriska, Eridan, Wifehearst, PI, Gamzee, HB, Rose, Mom, PS, Terezi, Slick))

This has really fallen down the fanon rabbit hole. Vriska shoving Doze into the dumbwaiter for her getaway, Aradia’s casual windowhopping and Boxcars stalking his kid to be the one insisting that they kiss were nice though. Eridan’s section, while a funny setup, seemed like it made far more sense with Tavros. Slick and Snowman were funny enough but kind of off – I think it’s that he seems to be calling a lot of the shots here, while she’s more cajoling him along.

In the End (Itchy (The Felt, Lord English, Jake))

Superstuck ficlet, noncanon.

So presumably that has something to do with why this doesn’t seem to fit with the characters or how things happened in canon well at all, but I really have no idea what that is and what the background involves.

Why the fuck would you post a tiny snippet fic that makes no sense outside of whatever AU it’s part of as some standalone thing?

the space between the stars (Psiioniic (Condesce, MOC))

I love how incredibly fucked up this is and how far you’re willing to go with it.

Burns Sweet (PS (PI, AD, FOC, MOC, SS))

Even by the standards of this AU this is unusually disconnected from anything canon.

Aradiacester
Davesprite (Bro, John)
PI, DD
Condesce, Aradiacester
Doc Scratch (Condesce)
BQ (Rose, Dave)
MOC, MOC, FOC. MOC (MOC)
John, AD, Equius, DD, Aradia, Sollux, Tavros, Kanaya, Karkat, Snowman (Itchy, Vriska, Eridan, Wifehearst, PI, Gamzee, HB, Rose, Mom, PS, Terezi, Slick)
Psiioniic (Condesce, MOC)
PS (PI, AD, FOC, MOC, SS)

Five of ten!



Page 385 fuck my life. I think it’s partly the burst of all the holiday fic pushing the page numbers back suddenly.