I decided that with measels in the news, I felt like checking out this monstrosity again.

See, the whole vaccine connection would be somewhat topical, you know? I keep hearing people on the news trying to explain that when parents choose not to vaccinate, it’s not just their kid they’re affecting, it’s all the other kids! Because it’s okay to kill your own child, they’re your property.

So imagine the fight being about conflicting parental rights, and the fallout is that stuff which impacts other people’s children is mandatory, like vaccinations, and stuff that doesn’t impact other people’s children, like cutting them up for parts, is entirely up to the parent. You can even keep the abortion ban because thinking women need to suffer unborn children have rights and actual children don’t is a sort of doublethink we’re already familiar with.

You’d still have your teen appeal of parents betraying children and children not having rights. It just stops being presented as prochoice = murder and instead focuses on another issue that affects all children right now.

But that would not be endlessly terrible, so that will not be this book. Let’s just hope no more magical leprechauns show up to pretend to be an actual human ethnicity.So, when I open up UnWholly I look through to see how many chapters it is, and names start popping up. Names I was hoping I’d never see. One name more than anything. And I keep scrolling hoping that maybe those names are just going to be minor characters and…

Chapter 80: Miracolina
Chapter 81: Hayden
Chapter 82: Connor
Chapter 83: Nelson
Chapter 84: Connor

Fucking Connor.

UnWholly opens with the author’s gratitude to the other people who somehow thought this was a good idea and how “I am indebted to the countless educators out there who are finding ways of using my books in the classroom”. There’s also mention of the film, although thank god that seems to still be in limbo.

Then for any new readers:

As Unwind and UnWholly represent a world turned upside down, what better way to keep you up to speed than giving the answer before the question, like on a certain quiz show? Read the answers, and see how many questions you can get right! Get enough right and you may get to tear up your own unwind order! (Warning: Skipping the game may leave you feeling a bit unwound while reading. . . .)

This is the process by which an individual is dismantled. By law, 99.44 percent of a person must be used and kept alive in transplant.
What is unwinding?

America’s second civil war—also known as the Heartland War—ended when the pro-life and prochoice armies came to this agreement, which made life inviolable from conception to the age of thirteen but allowed for the “retroactive abortion” of troubled teenagers.
What is the Unwind Accord?

When a mother does not wish to keep a newborn baby, she has the legal option to leave the baby on someone else’s doorstep. The baby then becomes the legal responsibility of the people in that home. This is the common term for the leaving of the baby.
What is storking?

When a person is unwound, since virtually all of them is still alive, they are not considered to be dead, but to be living in this state.
What is the divided state?

These are licensed facilities in which Unwinds are prepared for a divided state. While each facility has its own particular personality, they are all designed to provide a positive experience for youth designated for unwinding.
What are harvest camps?

This northern Arizona harvest camp, in a town named after the joyful lumberjacks who founded it, has recently been closed due to terrorist activity.
What is Happy Jack Harvest Camp?

This is a slang term for the clinic within a harvest camp where unwinding is performed.
What is a Chop Shop?

These young terrorists have introduced an undetectable chemical into their circulatory system that makes their blood explosive. They get their name because they detonate by bringing their hands together in powerful applause.
What are clappers?

This is the common term for the law enforcement officers who work for the National Juvenile Authority and are responsible for the policing of Unwinds.
What are Juvey-cops, or Juvies?

The act of chemically rendering someone unconscious by use of tranquilizer bullets or darts. It is the preferred method utilized by juvenile enforcement officers, because using bullets on Unwinds is both illegal and damages their vital organs, thereby reducing their value.
What is tranq’ing?

From the French word for “beef”—and probably the origin of the slang expression “buff”—this is the common term for a soldier, or a muscular teen on track for a military career.
What is a boeuf?

Originally a military term, it means “away without leave” but has more recently been used as a term for runaway Unwinds.
What is AWOL?

This organization fights unwinding by rescuing AWOL Unwinds. However, it’s not as well organized as people think.
What is the ADR or Anti-Divisional Resistance?

This secret (not so secret) sanctuary for AWOL Unwinds is at a massive airplane salvage yard in the Arizona desert.
What is the Graveyard?

Also known as Connor Lassiter, this runaway Unwind from Ohio is believed to be responsible for the revolt at Happy Jack Harvest Camp, and is presumed dead.
Who is the Akron AWOL?

Derived from the term meaning “ten percent,” this is a child designated from birth for unwinding, usually for religious reasons.
What is a tithe?

This tithe became a clapper who didn’t clap, and by doing so, put a face on the resistance movement.
Who is Lev Calder?

This is the last name given to parentless children raised in state homes.
What is Ward?

A survivor of Happy Jack Harvest Camp, this former state ward became a paraplegic, because she refused to have her damaged spine replaced by the spine of an Unwind.
Who is Risa Ward?

What I find interesting is half of this isn’t terms but plot events and the other half weren’t really explained in the first book either. I guess he had complaints about how random stuff like “boeuf” was. And it’s still not actually useful – what does “secret (not so secret)” mean? Why are we told exactly what’s up with Risa but not Connor? Why does the author keep insisting he needs to explain what AWOL means?

Cherish these questions, because at least they’re not as terrible as the main story.

I’ll be aiming for a weekly schedule with this one, what with Dresden being the clear victor in the poll. Join me next week for Conner 2: Adoption Makes You Evil.