Time to learn about how the author thinks mental illness works.

[Sharon could be considered beautiful by almost any standard—with long red hair, sparkling green eyes, and the body of a dancer or a prewar supermodel.

So either supermodels no longer exist or they now require a type of beautify that is not covered by “almost any standard”, but professional dancing is still around because that’s far more important. Also, we can now date the start of the zombie apocalypse: it’s at whatever future point dancers have the same bodies as supermodels.

She also has the mind of a four-year-old girl.

Just in case you were thinking that wow a second female interviewee already I guess this book isn’t so bad!

We are at the Rothman Rehabilitation Home for Feral Children. Doctor Roberta Kelner, Sharon’s caseworker, describes her condition as “lucky.” “At least she has language skills, a cohesive thought process,” she explains. “It’s rudimentary, but at least it’s fully functional.” Doctor Kelner is eager for the interview, but Doctor Sommers, Rothman’s program director, is not. Funding has always been spotty for this program, and the present administration is threatening to close it down altogether.

That’s right, it’s time for the author not understanding how mental illness works. Why is she four? Because she was four when zombies attacked and that can stop mental development because SHUT UP THE AUTHOR SAYS SO.

Never mind that feral children are perfectly intelligent and the actual problem is that you can only learn language up until about age six, something that’s not a concern if the kid had learned it in any intervening year. Never mind that it doesn’t make sense large numbers of children would survive something that slaughtered adults – you get this in war zones because people prefer to shoot adults and also don’t have magic zombie senses so kids are easier to miss.

Incidentally, there should be no lack of people willing to take even feral kids since the death rate should have disproportionately been among kids.

Although Sharon was found in the ruins of Wichita, there is no way of knowing where her story originally occurred.

Apparently the fact Sharon remembers her name and the first and last names of lots of other people is useless because the zombies took time out from their busy day to destroy all records. I mean:

Sharon, who has a mother and father, likely knows the names of both too.
Mrs. Randolph, who had a daughter named Ashley who incidentally eaten by zombies proving my point about mortality.
Other kids her age: Jill, Abbie.
Mrs. McGraw
Pastor Dan Comode and his wife. How many married Dan Comodes who were pastors were there? (Also his wife’s bossy and mean. While there are few female characters there’s no shortage of terrible ones.)

Anyway, it’s here it gets really obvious that the author should’ve just done a series of short stories instead of trying to do the oral history thing, because he has this girl describe stuff down to perfectly mimicking every sound effect because yeah absolutely things work like that not stupid at all.

Sharon recounts how all the adults were upset and then the zombies show up.

They took our bench and put it next to the door. They put all the benches next to the door. “Quick!” “Jam the door!” [She mimics several different voices.] “I need a hammer!” “Nails!” “They’re in the parking lot!” “They’re coming this way!”

So yeah they did nothing to secure the area against zombies until the zombies were clawing at the doors. Look, these people just do not want to live.

Sharon then acts out the whole scene, mimicking the zombies, and then her mom stroking her hair and then the zombies banging and the shouting of people and the sound of breaking glass because they were also too dumb to brace those and so on.

That was Mrs. Cormode. “Save the children! Save the children!” [Sharon makes more gunshots. She balls her hands into a large double fist, bringing it down hard on an invisible form.] Now the kids started crying. [She simulates stabbing, punching, striking with objects.] Abbie cried hard. Mrs. Cormode picked her up. [She mimes lifting something, or someone, up and swinging them against the wall.] And then Abbie stopped.

Oh women. When they’re not being nonexistent or useless, they’re smashing kids into walls. Her own mom decides to strangle her and the other mother who lost her kid blows her mom’s head off and grabs Sharon, takes her out of the building and tells her to run, which turns out to be enough for a little kid to survive a whole zombie apocalypse but somehow her brain stops developing as a result.

God this is a stupid chapter.