Authors Part 3

Overall there is some distinct reasonableness throughout. I’m not sure how much is just politeness, but still, it’s promising. 

Cool as it would be to take the credit, I assume something else is going on. The stories tend not to have many reviews these days, which may be related.


Name: Trace Carter
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3332311/
——————–

Subject: thank you for the input

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7700467/

I will remember that when i’m writing future chapters and I will put more
effort into making less filler chapters. But because this is supposed to be
like the TV show, it’s only natural that ash would start at home.

——————–

Name: Duststar1
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3311812/
——————–

Subject: Correcting(I guess)

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7701030/

Oh okay I was not sure so I just put info.
I did not know about Growlithes but I know about He said. The problem is
microsoft word always capitalizes the H in he. Why I dont know.
I pretty much know everything that your saying. I am a lot better when I
simply write then type the story.
Thanks for your review! It has helped me a lot. I will retype the story later.

——————–

Name: figliedellatempesta
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2084056/
——————–

Subject: thanks for the review

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7702947/

hi, thanks for the review. in fairness, the story is pretty silly, I just
wrote it randomly for fun and I might take it back down – I didn’t really put
a lot of thought into the plot points :P so, I fully accept your points about
it not making perfect sense… I’m probably going to scrap it anyway. By the
way though, I am a professional proofreader and editor, so although I like the
fact that other people are trying to impose standards on people’s writing,
picking me up on style-guide things like writing out numbers (it is not
actually standard practice to write out numbers above 10, so it seems a
strange thing to criticise), and capitalisation, which is also a personal
style issue (within reason of course) seems quite pointlessly critical.
Thanks anyway, I do like it when people give proper feedback :D

——————–

Jesus christ there is something wrong with the world.

Name: Ashlyn Best
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3541415/
——————–

Subject: re: Your review to Peyton the Nuzlocke Master

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7698008/

Ok. Thank you for pointing that out. Also, you would capitalize Pokemon,
because it IS a proper noun. Technically. It’s copyrighted, and a non-proper
noun like “animal” can’t be copyrighted.

——————–

Story: Inheritors
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Internal Winter ( http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3517681/ )
Reply URL: https://login.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rwid=141151052
——————-

Now you recently left a pretty bitter review on one of my stories-I expected
that day to come, and I don’t mind, actually-that is what we are here for,
isn’t it? To improve and grow as writers? This is FAN fiction after all, and
nothing here will make it past this website. Now, on to you…

I honestly couldn’t read past the first paragraph. The first line is filled
with enough purple patch that purple p
——————-

Name: Cyanide Sneasel
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1926204/
——————–

Subject: re: Your review to An Awesome Holiday Special!

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7700598/

I have a beta reader – zzzp2, and I know it’s sucks for a story but if you
read Rally Racers chapters 2 and 3, you’ll probably see how far I’ve come.

[Its also ]

“It’s” is short for “it is”. “Its” is the possessive.

– Sometimes I overlook little things like this all the time, I’ll fix it
eventually

[I she’s snappy. ]

What?

– It was supposed to be Aye but I put I instead.

[Well I’m Azelf, obviously, and right now we’re in the Hall of Origin’s
Residency Wing. ]

Oh god, it’s more OOC sugar high legendaries. If your story about giant
monster gods is indistinguishable from a story about a bunch of dumb high
schoolers, your story is bad.

– Sugar high? Describe this please. And this is my first one-shot, it’s what I
based it on, teenage romance. And that doesn’t make the story bad, well to me
at least.

[You want a description of my room? Fine.

Well there’s a window and below that is my A/C, which half the time doesn’t
work.

Next to the A/C is my 26 inch LCD TV, which I uses to play movies or video
games.

Usually owning people in COD or BF3, I’m just that awesome… ]

No, none of this matters! Don’t tell people about things that don’t matter.

– I describe things to set the scene and most of the time when I do, it will
be a reference for future stories.

[“Just… just come to the meeting room..,” ]

Never put a comma at the end of other punctuation.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never
“Hello.” He
said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he
said. The only
exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in
which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he
grinned or
“Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t
a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff
like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re
breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.”
not “Hi,”
he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And
if you’re breaking
up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If
there’s no
speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around.
“- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

– Yeesh! It was a small mistake! The comma and period keys were right next to
each other, it happens! And I know how to use punctuation, no need to describe
how to use it. Don’t take this as arrogance, it’s just my response.

[I teethed, he’s lucky its his birthday… ]

Just get a beta reader, this is abysmal.

– I have a beta reader, but obviously he has to read this first which he
hadn’t.
Unless you want to be my second Beta Reader?

Don’t take all this as a rant, it’s just the responses to each of your gripes.
If you have further problems, tell me.
I always accept criticism.

——————–

Story: Inheritors
Chapter: 2. Chapter 2

From: Internal Winter ( http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3517681/ )
Reply URL: https://login.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rwid=141151616
——————-

Sorry, it cut off, I am on my phone. Anyhow…

I wanted to see what kind of writer you were. I assumed if you were able to
catch onto the fact that I rushed on my “story.” I’m sure you are a decent
writer, but, i found myself reading this thinking it was a parody like your
other Pokemon stories (those are wonderfully done, however). Keep in mind I am
not your regular 16 year
——————-

For the record, assuming that because you’re older than a sixteen year old it makes you inherently better isn’t a winning move.

Name: MewGuru
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3576583/
——————–

Subject: Thank you for your advice to improve my story.

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7700355/

I appreciate your review. I will revise my story soon to make the
improvements. Future advice is welcomed, thank you very much. :)

——————–

Story: Inheritors
Chapter: 3. Chapter 3

From: Internal Winter ( http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3517681/ )
Reply URL: https://login.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rwid=141152062
——————-

Cut off yet again. Once I get to a computer I can hopefully bunch all this
into one. Embarrassing to say the least. I am most likely around your age or
older, my father is a professional novelist, and I read well respected novels
constantly (my favorites being Kurt Vonnegut and Aldous Huxley). I normally
wouldnt mention this except for the fact that it is you, oh infamous
farla…and you will most likely brush me off as some 15 year old who doesn’t
know squat about writing. Now, I can’t necessarily leave a full fledged
review, because as I previously stated, I couldn’t read past the second
paragraph. Your writing in this story reminds me of how I was in the 11th
grade, in my advanced placement English course. I had the foundations of great
writing, buy I muddled it with overly incredulous diction, thinking a large
vocabulary meant, well, the key to an impressive story. You have fallen victim
to this. By trying too hard to sound intelligent, you have forgotten the most
important aspect of a story: the story.
——————-

Just in general don’t flash credentials, especially when they’re of the “daddy is a…” type.

Name: Internal Winter
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3517681/
——————–

Subject: Thank you

Thank you for your honest review. To be honest, I did rush that piece. What
would you suggest for me to improve on it? If you could read my other stories
as well, I’d be greatful, although I’m sure you won’t be fond of them.

I left you three reviews on your story “Inheritors”, which was supposed to be
one. I haven’t been on this site in a while do I’m not sure how to delete them
and bundle it into one, more coherent piece. Apologies for that.

I wanted to message you anyway, because although I love your Mary Sue story, I
can’t remember if it was you who stated the grammar of Pokemon. I disagree
that in certain cases their names can’t be capitalized (Pokemon itself maybe
not, you don’t capitalize animals, but I do it out of legal terminology).
Think of a breed of animal. You don’t capitalize dog but perhaps you would
capitalize “African Serval” and so on. Also while I do see your logic in why a
seventeen year old might not compare to a ten year old starting out, the fact
of the matter is, realistically, ten year olds not seventeen year olds (ie
Christopher McCandless in Into the Wild) would never fare all alone in the
vast wilderness. Alas, it is fan fiction, not all of us are trying to be
professional authors here!

Tl;dr I hope you read all of this. Again thanks for the constructive
criticism, although it was pretty vague, and I’d like to hear more of your
thoughts!

——————–

This whole segment is a long what not to do exercise. Don’t spam reviews to chat with me, don’t think you have to talk RIGHT NOW because it’s too important to wait until you have better access than your phone, don’t go on in reviews for one story about how it sucks then say “but I liked this other one I couldn’t bother to comment on!” because it looks like you’re trying to suck up.

Name: waterangelphoenix
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3416615/
——————–

Subject: Thanks for reviewing me :D

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7702479/

Thanks for your advice, it’s been a long time since I took english, so I
forgot about all the subject verb stuff. Sometimes Microsoft word has the
habit of captializing pokemon where its not needed, so I guess I missed that
somewhere. Anyway thanks again I will try to follow it.

——————–

Name: iflip4dolphins
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1320120/
——————–

Subject: Your review

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7701747/

I take your criticism and I understand it. I do. And, to a certain extent, I
do appreciate it.

However, I’ve read some of your work. And to be quite honest? It just isn’t
good. You’re great at grammar and spelling and stuff like that, but when it
comes to writing a story that pulls people in, you’re just lacking something
there. Maybe it’s just me, but I think that if you really want to jump down
people’s throats, you should write stories that have heart, because your’s?
The dialogue is robotic. Nobody acts that way.

Fine. No interactive stories. I can delete this then – and I suppose you want
to jump down the throats of everyone who writes fanfiction who accepts
characters from other people? Lots of people do that, and those are pretty
interactive, I’d say.

Right, I’m done. Ignore this if you want to, because I’m sure you will.

——————–

Name: no one of remote importance
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3403867/
——————–

Subject: Thanks!

Thanks much for the review and advice! I really appreciate it and hope you
come back to read in the future.

Also, I capitalize the words I do (Pokémon, Pikachu and the like) because
they are demonstrated as proper nouns in the games. The quote (I think?) you
used at the top of your review was a direct, unchanged quote from the game.
c:

If I misunderstood what you were trying to say, my apologies.
^ ^’

Thanks again!
– NOoRI

——————–

Name: Funkypurplefuchsia
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2366160/
——————–

Subject: XD

Thank you for reviewing!!!

Although I’m pretty sure this wasn’t a…let’s say…”good” review, I still
appreciate that you took some of your time to comment.

Ok, so some of the things you told me weren’t shocking news ya know?

I’m 14 years old ]”

I actually like writing it this way, even knowing its not right, just because
I like it and I know that some of the readers wouldn’t mind.

[a Dark Fairy ]

I meant that as if she brought the costume in a store wanting to dress as
“Dark Fairy” some fantasy character or
something.

And how can the fic have little to do with Dawn and pokemon? the main
character is Dawn. And the fic is about Dawn who fight to save the human race
along with her pokemon and The Cruentum Immortales. plus ikarishipping.
So yeah. I think it pretty much has to do with Dawn and pokemon.

And I know about my grammar okay? I acknowledge my errors. And mistakes
happens and can be fixed. But I personally don’t want a beta reader.

Thank you for your review.

Funky

——————–

Name: no one of remote importance
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3403867/
——————–

Subject: Actually…

In regards to my last PM about the capitalization errors, I’ve actually come
to agree with you. I read through your grammar thread on the forums out of
complete curiosity, then re-read my posted chapter, and now I see your points
much more clearly than I did before.

Maybe it just looked so strange at first because of how used to seeing those
things capitalized since I started the games 11-odd years ago. Old habits die
hard, I suppose!

I will be using your advice in the very near future. c:

Also, one other thing…would you mind explaining to me the difference between
“lay” and “lie”? As in, “He lay there,” and “He lie
there.” I’ve always been
confused about when to use those words and how…I’d be so grateful. c’:

Sorry about the multiple PMs!
^ ^;;

-NOoRI

——————–

Name: MrLRocks78
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3520993/
——————–

Subject: re: Your review to Stuck In Sinnoh!

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7701034/

Thank you for pointing out that dialogue problem! Very constructive. ;)

——————–

Name: beautiful.disasterxo
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2501073/
——————–

Subject: visiting hours rr

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7702851/

oh wow, really? I’m sorry then :/ I will try to remember that for my next
pokemon fic, but i’m glad that i at least got the whole Pikachu & Eevee thing,
because, you know :] they were never really named so…
& thank you for your criticism, haha. i have a habit of using hair & eye color
as ways of labeling the person i’m talking about :/ but that’s just me. i’m
sorry if it bothered you, haha.

overall, i’m grateful for your comment haha. not a lot of people would be as
honest as you were, and i’m glad you took the time to do this :] & i’m glad
that you think it’s cute haha.

——————–

Name: the song of the dead
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2581658/
——————–

Im proably one of the few people that enoy your tough wordsj

——————–
Name: the song of the dead
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2581658/
——————–

Oh and please vote on the poll

——————–

Name: Pokemon Trainer Green
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2977228/
——————–

Subject: re: Your review to Back On Track

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7703489/

I appreciate your concern, I think. I am 13 and I didn’t understand half of
that… you just kinda made me confused. Maybe this isn’t a good idea, but I
will know that when I get there. Now, I’m going to continue, don’t mean any
offense, but I think I’m going to like this!

Thanks!

PTG

——————–

Name: Xerxes Glace Hydro
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2448167/
——————–

Subject: re: Your review to A Deadly Secret

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7700524/

I know it is most likely none of my business to question your “constructive
criticism”, but I would like to remind you that not all of us are perfect
writers. I would agree that there are some parts she could go back and fix
over time, but that is for her to do herself, and it is not in anyone’s place
to point out her mistakes, especially in a manner such as this. Perhaps she
hasn’t received the proper grammatical education, unlike some others, which is
just fine. And if that happens to be the case, then so be it. Another thing I
would like to bring up is that you are not perfect. If you were, then you
would have noticed that “suicide” is not a verb, rather a noun. That was acid
on my eyes when I saw that.

Now then, I do not see this, in any way, shape, or form, as “constructive
criticism”. If you had not pointed out every flaw the author has made, and had
instead made suggestions on how to further improve her stories, then I would
see it differently. As of now, I am curious to know how many reviews of yours
contain the phrase, “This is an absolutely terrible first sentence”.

Thirdly, fanfiction, or even stories themselves, are constructed by the
author’s imagination. Have you ever thought that perhaps someone as young as
Ash wouldn’t care what they washed drugs down with? That perhaps they would
grab the closest thing to them (or had quickest or easiest access to) just to
get it over with, whether it was a bottle of water or vodka? Believe me, I
know the certain feeling of desperation vaguely described in this text. I know
the feeling of despair tat envelopes one over time. If you were so unfortunate
as to experience the thoughts going through my head, you would have been in a
coffin numerous years ago. Back to the point at hand: imagination is the force
that utterly eliminates reality, and allows fiction to invade. In other words,
what the author has described here is completely possible in her own world, as
your world means nothing at this time.

To sum it all up:
-Let the authors fix their own mistakes; they have brains, in case it is not
clearly obvious to you. You do not need to point out every flaw that you see.
Instead, you could give the author tips on how to improve.
-Consider your definition of “constructive criticism” and compare it to my
own. Which seems better to you?
-Imagination is key to creation. It bends and shapes the universe and becomes
reality. Outside of reality, it allows illogical things to occur.

I hope you will think this over. I bid you good night.

~Glace

——————–

Our first real batch of crazy, and it’s not even from an author.

Name: Zmaj-Owl
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2932568/
——————–

Subject: re: Your review to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Power Within

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7704068/

I see people doing this often though? I thought it was accepted? I will fix it
tomorrow then because I really need some sleep now.

And I’m fully aware of what could happen when you ask for characters, but my
one friend who is trying to become a writer said that asking people to create
their own characters for a story challenges you to use characters you never
would have used because it’s out of your comfort zone. It’s supposed to make
you a stronger writer or something of the sort, even if it doesn’t really work
out, you still had the experience of using characters you never would have
used.

——————–

Name: HanaIchi Ikari
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1531506/
——————–

Subject: No Subject

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7703859/

Thanks for the criticism and advice. But we have our reasons for writing the
way we write.

1. It’s just a note for people who know them by the English names. We don’t
really prefer to write their English names in our fanfics. Besides, we think
it would be great if people knew them by their Japanese names too. We know
it’s a worthless reason to some, but this is what we think. Oh well.

2. Err… Do you mind shortening that? There were some parts of that part of
the criticism we couldn’t understand. ^^” If you can, can you tell us the main
points? We do understand what you’re implying though. We’ll work through it.
:)

3. We capitalize the Pokemon’s names because – even though it’s their general
name – we consider them as proper nouns. But thank you for the advice!
And we do capitalize words like ‘trainer’ and ‘professor’. But that’s how we
write. We all have different writing styles, right?

Once again, thank you for your criticism and advice! We’re sure it’ll help us
someday.

——————–

8 Comments

  1. Maimh says:

    Huh, it seem its the White Knighting people who complains the most, I guess that is positive.

    The “My dad” comment really made me cringe, She/He seems rather keen on impressing you.

    1. Farla says:

      Yeah, don’t even know what that’s about. (Also, I spend my days reading fanfic, I’m not really all for the classic lit stuff.)

  2. Act says:

    That was a bit more like the usual crazy. Is that last one using the royal “we” or what?

    1. Farla says:

      Apparently they’re twins. The way the profile is written is setting off my crazy alarm, so it may just be elaborate roleplay.

      1. Act says:

        Unrelated: I’ve been assigned the moderation of a reviewing contest (ie, whoever does the most best-quality reviews wins) for January over at Figment, and would love to try and get it associated with NaRe if you don’t mind!

        1. Farla says:

          Cool! Sure, if you think it’d be helpful.

  3. Ember says:

    “incredulous diction”

    That word does not mean what you think it means.  It means what I am feeling about how great you claim to be at writing.

  4. Catherpie says:

    Reading these responses make me want to cry. When I was ten I was trying my absolute best to use the best spelling and grammar I could and I did better than half the people here. And I still made a ton of mistakes so that’s saying something.

    1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *