Dude, if you’re more concerned about my lack of spellcheck and logic in a FANFICTION than it’s content, than clearly you’re missing the point.

thanks for pointing out the mistakes. &]

Um thank you for attempting to sound helpful in an overly bearing way.

Look, I appreciate your tips on how to write more effectively with my grammar and punctuation, that was great, but then you started getting a bit rude to be perfectly honest. Most of your tips seemed to be more opinionated too.

I can try to justify my reasoning as to why I chose to write some of the things in here the way I did, but I doubt you’d care anyway.

Next time, I’d appreciate it if you would steer clear from calling my writing “fucked up” because you can get your point across a lot more effectively by using tact.

chill lmao

Thank you for the constructive criticism. I will try my best to improve with the next story. Also, I did not realize that I used simply so often. I have a habit of recycling words over and over again without realizing it, and have been trying to stop that. Must’ve slipped through again. Anyway, thank you again.

I have examined your review, and I understand where you are coming from, however, please remember that I am new to this, and that I will most likely not have much time to update them, also, I AM trying to fix it.

Hello, Farla!

Okay, you may be wondering why I’m PMing you out of the blue, and for a review that wasn’t even for one of my own stories no less. The reason for this is because I am goldensphere’s beta-reader, so naturally the reviews she receives catch my attention.
Now, before you think I am here to argue or complain, I am not. I am merely here to explain why my grammar choice was the way it was, but feel free to correct me further if you feel my way of thinking is incorrect. Also, you have no obligation to even read this, so if you ignore me, that’s fine too. But I mean no ill will.

First of all, I am someone who loves good grammar, but my own is not one hundred percent perfect, and while it is generally fine, I do learn new, correct ways of grammar usage every now and then. So naturally, I find that I rather prefer being critiqued on my grammar, as it is the only way anyone could point out something I do wrong. In fact, it was due to one of your reviews that I improved. You never reviewed one of my stories; however, I occasionally read the reviews of other stories to see what kind of feedback they got if I’m not sure about whether I should read them or not, and I have seen your reviews through that. I saw that you commonly told people the following information:

[ Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts. ]

(I just copied and pasted that from your review.)
This little section has been of a lot of help to me, since I’d always been confused about dialogue punctuation before, so I used to make mistakes such as putting a period in the place of a comma until I saw your reviews. Thanks for that! (So in my earlier stories/chapters, you’ll see I use it incorrectly, but in my earlier ones, it’s used properly).

Now for your review, you said that the mistake made in the story was that ‘laugh’ was used as a speech verb. (Actually, you never specified what the mistake was, so it looked like you were saying some of the correct grammar in the story was incorrect before I caught on to the fact that you were only pointing out one thing from your paragraph, not saying the whole thing was wrong.) I tend to use ‘laugh’ and ‘giggle’ as speech verbs when I mean I said something whilst laughing/giggling, or saying it in a way that sounds like a laugh/giggle. The reason I have never questioned whether it’s wrong or not is because I—I might be mistaken here, as there is a possibility my memory is faulty—I have seen it used like that in published works sometimes (which I know full well do not always use proper grammar, but they often do in books. Again, though, maybe my memory is faulty). Normally, when someone points out a grammar mistake and I’m not sure about it, I look it up online. Unfortunately, I haven’t found anything on speech verbs. If you know where I could find more info on this, could you direct me to it? Thanks for bringing my attention to that little mistake, though!

The second thing you mentioned was the capitalization of Pokemon names, like ‘my Chimchar’. Now, for this, I’ve seen people do it both ways: the way you do it, and the way I (and goldensphere as well) do it. I don’t correct people on that, as long as they’re consistent with whatever way they choose.
Now, for this, even though I personally feel the way you said it should be done is correct in theory, I still use all Pokemon names with capitalization. Reason? If you look at any good Pokemon website, the Pokemon games and Pokemon magazines, that’s the way they do it, even if they are referring to a Pokemon in general and not its name. It’s just written like that, even for official Pokemon merchandise and publications. Same goes for the word ‘Pokemon’. I figure that they must do it because it makes it stand out as a Pokemon, or as the name of a made-up creature rather than it blending in with real words. And I find that I prefer it this way, because it definitely serves its purpose. Pokemon are not real creatures; their names are made up, and it helps the Pokemon stand out in the rest of the sentence instead of melting in like any other word. I don’t know if I am making sense by saying this, but that is my reason, and I plan on continuing it like this. (So if you see it written like this for any of goldensphere’s/my stories, I will probably not change it if you point it out again. Not saying you shouldn’t point out other mistakes, though, as I am more than willing to hear about those)

So yes, that is my reasoning.

Thanks for listening!
QuartzClaw

While I was thinking more about why Pokemon names are capitalized by the makers when they shouldn’t be, a thought occurred to me about the reasoning behind it. It has been made very clear that the name of the Pokemon (let’s use ‘Caterpie’ as an example) is its actual name. So if a wild Caterpie appeared, it might not mean the same as ‘I saw a cat.’ ‘A cat’ is what we call the animal; ‘Snowy’ could be something we name the cat. In the Pokemon world, ‘Caterpie’ is a bug; however, all ‘Caterpie’ have the name ‘Caterpie’. Even when someone ‘names’ his/her Caterpie, whether in the games or anime, it’s called giving it a nickname, not a new name entirely.

Consider someone saying, “A bug appeared. It was a Caterpie.” ‘Bug’ would refer to the creature while ‘Caterpie’ to the name, and it would mean out of the many bugs named ‘Caterpie’ out there, only one appeared. Therefore, a Caterpie appeared. In the same way, someone might say, “My Caterpie ate a berry,” meaning out of the many bug-type Pokemon named Caterpie, he/she is referring to his/her own. If there is no other Caterpie it could be mistaken for, the speaker would say, “Caterpie ate a berry.”

We do the same thing with people’s names. Let’s say we have the Montague family. When referring to its members, we say ‘the Montagues’ in the plural. When referring to one member, we say ‘a Montague’.
eg) “The Montagues are not allowed at this party; however, two Montagues snuck in.”
Now just switch ‘Montague’ with ‘Caterpie’.
It becomes the following: “Caterpie are not allowed at this party; however, two Caterpie snuck in.”
It still works, and ‘Caterpie’ is capitalized.

So I was thinking this could be the reasoning behind the capitalization of Pokemon names. It might not be the same as saying, “a cat” or “a dog”. It could actually be referring to the Pokemon’s actual name, in which case it would be perfectly fine to capitalize all Pokemon names.

Any thoughts?

Alright firstly, yes I do make mistakes in my grammar so you are right about that but secondly, the reason I only put one chapter in this story is because I don’t know how to make chapters, and it is just the way I write. Thirdly, the part where I spoke about how this is not about a Lucario X Zoroark fiction is just about adding a bit of HUMOR to the story. Besides, the question is rheatorical so I didn’t expect any reader to answer it. Fourthly, I am still growing in my writing so nobody should expect story quality as good as a book like Harry Potter!

So I need to work on my spelled and and grammar, but the types of reviews I want is if people actually liked the concept of the fucking story! Not if I got a couple of words mispelled.

Wow, thank you! I appreciate your criticism.
At least someone is trying to help. Most of the comments I’ve seen were maybe three or four words. Thanks to you, I’ll actually pay more attention to my grammar on dialogue. If I ever try to write another chapter, I’ll be more wary. I’m not even sure why I capitalize the pokemon, It just sorta became a habit for a reason that I can’t think of at the moment.
Once more, thanks for taking the time to comment your very helpful criticism.

Also, I was half asleep when reading this and I had to reread the first line about ten times. XD I was so confused! I was wondering why some chick kept saying hello.

Uh, explain to me what that means? I don’t really get it, but I know what a creepypasta is.

Actually the pull out while wearing the condom bit was meant to be a joke and show how bossy the female is… the joke flies over quite a few people’s heads though lol Anyways, these stories will be taken down in a couple hours but I’ll rewrite these (These stories are actually a year old, some even older) with that in mind!

Thank you for this review. As you might’ve been able to guess by the reference to Slenderman, I wrote “Hey You, Haunter!” several years ago, long before I eventually decided to post it. In retrospect, I really should have done more extensive re-writing first, to make it more consistent with my current level of writing. While some of the cringe-worthiness was certainly intentional (as a way to make fun of the terrible Creepypastas that were popular back then), it’s still fairly embarrassing.