A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/9806651/I’d like to thank you for reviewing my story. But, the way you did it
was slightly offensive. I’m not sure anybody wants to be told they’re
“attention whoring” which I’m OBVIOUSLY not, but whatever. Secondly, I
came to Fanfiction to develop my writing skills not to be intimidated.
I’m only fourteen and admit that I do need more practice and experience.
I didn’t nor will I ever ask for your sarcastic replies so there was no
need for that. If you don’t like the story then don’t review. There’s a
saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.
In your case don’t comment. One day you’ll say something to somebody and
they’re going to hurt you in more ways then one. With that being said,
Happy Halloween!

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/9747893/First off you have to notice a couple things. You didn’t specify what chapter you are referring to, which doesn’t really help me that much. Second, if you happened to read my last two chapters chapter you’ll notice it is v.02 it was only a minor fix but never-less it wasn’t proofread at all. As I have been busy the past couple weeks I kept getting pm’s wanting the story to be continued before my LP on YouTube would end. I did this in a hurry and warned my subscribers that it wouldn’t be proofread until I had a chance to. Although I have noticed lots of other mistakes in the other chapters. I will get to fixing it as soon as possible. I also have looked at your grammar guide and will read it to fix whatever else I can. Thanks so much!

Sincerely
AwakenedRage/IRuletech

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/9799082/Ah, sir or madam Farla. It’s wonderful to finally be acquainted! I somehow foreseen meeting you like this!

I must say, a seasoned veteran like yourself sure is mighty fine in their judgment to a greenhorn! I would ignore you and shrug off your rudeness but I thought I’d just share with you about the story, just to be kind. And well, you, the one and only Farla, took your precious time to type a nice review!

For the art part, I will admit, that may be a mistake of different interpretations and I suppose you could call that irrelevant. What I was trying to express is the meaning of blankness was a “boring piece” of art to Green. But as art, truly, it was beautiful to him. I know, it’s confusing! But thanks for enlightening me! I will correct and replace something more “simpler”.

For the destruction part, I don’t really see anything wrong with it (in my opinion). I was adding extra emphasis.

The imbecile description. Keep in mind that I’m not directly telling the story. Since I was aiming to make Green an “above-his-head” character and a “know-it-all,” I intentionally and wanted him to be somewhat ignorant. Am I the best writer or proficient user of wording? Nah, I’m definitely not the best, but just remember that Green is the one telling it in a first-person perspective. But I do appreciate you pointing that out! Somebody might accidentally use that in the near future!

Um, I prefer to write overly-extensive stories. Just a preference. Please don’t get upset because I have a different writing style! That would be very coercive! It would seem to fail to make everyone abide to their beliefs, it seems now a days. People are very personal and introverted, you know what I’m saying?

The cherry trees, I don’t understand. You cut it off. What are you trying to say? Anyway, I see nothing wrong with it!

So, Farla, thank you for spending time with me! It truly is an honor for one of the site’s most popular and oldest users to comment on a story of mine. If you do reply back, I hope you have had a nice woot-tootin’ Halloween!

Cheers!

Pointing out that cherry trees don’t have peddles got me 

Oh . . . yeah, petals. I love English. Anyway, blah.

And a block. I swear, people are making less sense by the year.

blackstarlight17 | re: Your review to Broken Blue A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/9802771/

It has been classified as a Creepypasta by others who’s seen it. And as for the OC, she’s not a mary sue, and she isn’t something that’s special and great if that’s how you’re viewing her. If you look at most Creepypasta that’s out there, they have similar themes or characters. I was only inspired and used a similar experience I had to make it.

As for the Waterfall bit, it does prevent you from trading Pokémon that don’t learn it, like Blastoise. I know, I’ve tried in the past when that problem had actually happened. Plus, at that particular scene, they were set as CHILDREN, one being more emotional than the other. How could she tell the truth if she’s an emotional wreck right on the spot? I know, I’ve been there myself.

All in all, you don’t have to be a jerk about it. If you had constructive criticism to give, fine, but if you don’t, please keep it to yourself then.

So it’s definitely not some sue they’re over-invested in, what with it being inspired by similar experience.

EastCoastHoosier | re: Your review to The Gamer Gods: 100 Theme Challenge A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/9809133/I know that the words “all caps” are not proper nouns. I was alluding to the fact that in the earlier Pokemon games everyone spoke proper nouns in all caps always. your name, your pokemon, places, everything was in caps. It’s just pointing out how the world in changing now that it’s become a video game.

SparkofLeaves | re: Your review to Lifted Soul A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/9806940/[That…doesn’t seem really accurate, in the least. Sealing is something you do to make something you can’t get rid of at least maybe leave you alone, and embalming and stuff is done to preserve because you want it to stick around. Even assuming the main character’s unreliable, the word choice along is contradicting there.]
I think it’s pretty clear what he means here– they’re encased/wrapped up, and there are objects tucked under the wrappings.
On a side note. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I wrote this, but I believe I made that word choice intentional to make the idea of death seem repulsive, something you would want to put away in a coffin, below the ground, somewhere that you don’t see. My usual community finds ghost-types rather cute and this was meant to set up for the whole Rotom act.

[You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.]
We have had this disagreement before, and again, I disagree. You have made it bluntly clear that you see the name of a type of Pokemon as a species name, which is not capitalized, and often rant about this. This time I should explain my position. I see it in a different context. For instance, what separates a Bulbasaur from an Ivysaur, when the Bulbasaur is just a younger Ivysaur? What separates a Volbeat from an Illumise when they contain the genes for either Pokemon? It is not an ordinary distinction, it’s something with a “name.” Think of the Khajiit/Argonians from the Elder Scrolls. This is my stance on Pokemon and it’s become a part of my writing style. I am aware of your various tirades on this topic, but you are not going to change my opinion.

[Why are there starving rattata all over the place, and also, why would they be going after the stones themselves? I think living in a world where you regularly see nearly dead animals who are mad with hunger is a bigger deal than anything you could say about gravesites.]
Not really trying to eat the stones so much as… It’s like scratching at a door, except they don’t realize there is no building behind this stone. It’s not quite so literal.

[[If an office building nearby is so radioactive it’s killing people like this, I think the narrator, doctors and everyone else in the vicinity would probably want to actually investigate and do something, not shrug and say maybe that was the cause.)]
This was definitely a lazy sentence, I concede, And it probably didn’t fit the character at all.
To clarify, the doctors all agreed it was radiation poisoning, but not all of them believed it was from Team Galactic. And it wasn’t from Team Galactic because more people should have died from radiation poisoning, while the sister was the only one.

[Write out numbers with letters.]
In this context, numbers probably would have a better impact than letters. I’ll have to check.

[The gas would’ve been shut off long ago, so unless your character is deliberately being obtuse to better get himself killed, he knows something’s wrong about now. (It certainly can’t be any natural leak, since the stuff has no natural smell.)]
Fuck. Methane was probably not the gas I was thinking of. This should probably account for most of the problems down below.
Any factual errors can probably be traced back to me instead of the character.

[That’s sort of interesting, but doesn’t fit to the locations gastly show up in. Also, methane’s highly reactive, so if anything, probably not good for a presumably not methane gas pokemon to be growing over a leaking gas pipe.]
I update this story every few months with 8-10 word changes. I’ll keep note of that next time I do that.

[That’s a nice reaction.]
Thanks. :P

[I’m starting to think you’re just using methane as some sort of replacement for general unpleasant air. The stuff floats, you know? It’s not going to settle back down when things still, it’d be flowing constantly out of this place.]
[Also it doesn’t form distinct clouds regardless, so, there’s that.]
As before, methane is probably not the gas I was thinking of.

[Okay, you did a pretty okay job so far having weird stuff happen but keeping it low key enough that he wasn’t sure. But the point where he knows someone else is in there, sees them, hears them doing stuff in another room yet the room is covered in dust…that’s the point he needs a really good reason to stay any longer. All you’ve offered is that he refuses to believe in ghosts, which is pretty flimsy, then the very next thing you have happen is that he finds confirmation that the doors are mysteriously locking and unlocking. At this point, the only reasons to stick around is that he’s hiding in here from the police/the mob/someone random person with a gun and good aim, or because he actually does believe in ghosts but thinks they’re awesome, so he stupidly thinks all this stuff is a good sign.]
Not a good sign, exactly. He’s very curious and wants to find out what’s going on. Keith is sort of set apart from his community; he walks by them and doesn’t really know them, doesn’t have a connection with them. You pointed this out with the doctors earlier. I didn’t really elaborate as this is not due to any particular event, not even his sister’s death; it’s just a part of who he is. The point is that he likes to find things out for himself.

Since he doesn’t believe in ghosts, he feels that must have just been hearing things. Yes, this sounds like a weak explanation because every story uses it. But the fact is that 90% of the time in real life, we’re just hearing things; sometimes it’s a real sound that we mistake for something bizarre, sometimes it’s a fragmented memory that we remember in a way that we have trouble distinguishing it from reality for a split second.

[And then it just gets silly. Murderous rotom, okay. Long explanation and then the main character dodging various murderous appliances because the rotom’s mad they didn’t like the candy, that’s a much tougher sell.]
You’re a bit more skeptical than my usual reader, haha. Not as tough of a sell with them. I suspect this is because you stop and think about each part, since you try to do such a thorough review; others sort of just immerse themselves in it.

ReaperRaven4Ever | Thanks For The Review Thank you for reviewing. I am not experienced with writing and I have no idea how the average human works. I just… I don’t know. I was in a angry mood when I wrote that and I did not put that much thought into it. I am a female. I feel that I should not use the same adjectives or names in sentences next to each other. Anyways, thank you for the review and I will try to rewrite it in a more logical way.

absentknowledge | re: Your review to The Nature of Pokemon A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/9806924/[Yeah, this is one of those game quirks that sounds really dumb whenever people try to engage it. If anyone wanted to solve the mystery, they just need to stare at the two pokemon until they produce eggs.]
Well at the time she was 12, sexual intercourse isn’t really common knowledge to them. That’s also usually why the old people in the games tell the main character it’s a mystery, they’re little kids.

[So…the death of a pet pokemon is horrible, but it’s great to breed huge numbers of new pokemon to be totally dependent on owners who often die on them.]
It’s done for therapeutic reasons all the time for old people and people going through cancer treatment in the real world.

[So she’s running a puppy mill devoted to destroying various pokemon gene pools. Seriously, twelve hundred pets, all at least half siblings, running around, getting put in daycares and bred as well. That’s staggeringly irresponsible. I think you just pulled out a number to sound impressive, but it’s more the creeping horror of how much inbreeding’s going to happen down the line.]
Actually I had edited it to 250 when I was giving a draft to my friend to read over, but I forgot to edit the Word document. That was my mistake.

[There’s no reason for a trainer to act this way.

Jellicent are indeed creepy, and you build the suspense well enough, but the fact there are other, occasionally deadly pokemon around when you travel is the basis of pokemon training. If she no longer raises pokemon and she’s just crossing in a regular boat, than the jellicent’s boat-sinking murdery bit fits well. But saying the one pokemon there just doesn’t notice and for some reason she didn’t bother bringing her many other pokemon doesn’t work.]

The only Pokemon that reside in the lake in the RSE games are Magikarp, Wailmer and Tentacool. There’s not really much to worry about, since a Floatzel could easily take one. Also, said Pokemon would have no real interaction with Jellicent, since they’re usually in the ocean where Floatzel tend to avoid.

I really appreciate the criticisms, though.

As an aside, can I lament the death of reviews in general? More than half of these stories had no reviews when I went through. I’m looking through the Homestuck section now for NaRe, and there’s lots of stories that are more than a year old without a single review. It’s really depressing.