“I apriciate the hate, but if its all hate and no little compliment at the end then I just think you either really disliked my story or you love being a perfectionist or you’re just some rude critic.”
Story: You
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1
From: Twilit Lady of Majesty ( http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4248091/ )
Reply URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rwid=168366783
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I found your profile from one of your reviews, and then I arrived here.
Interesting story, yes, I did like it (although I skimmed over it a bit) the
story is definitely there. I’ve never seen first person thoughts (or any
thoughts for that matter) written inside parentheses. Now, I’m not saying this
is an issue. Definitely not. It just confused me a bit because I, personally,
reserve the use of parentheses for personal interjections into a story (when
I’m unsure about what I’m writing or I have to explain something because of
the lack of ability to do so in the story itself) people on here can be quite
rude sometimes, don’t you agree? Indeed.
And I have one peice of advice for you- don’t use the word “I” at the
beginning of every sentence. It’s extremely repetitive, and is the reason I
skimmed through the story (my eyes got bored seeing the same thing over and
over)
So, best of luck with future stories! :D
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Although in theory this is the sort of thing I aim to get out of this, in practice it’s pretty useless. This is why Serebii was never useful for reviews. Once you convince people a proper review has to involve concrit, you lose the ability to tell what’s an actual problem and what’s someone trying to fill out their criticism quota. This manages to combine that excessive politeness, so it’s confusing in the other direction as well.
| Ten-Faced | review |
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Sorry about that. . . but that’s just my normal style. Just a glimpse, enough to give a basic idea, and then let the reader use their imagination to fill in the blanks. Thank you! |
| Prince of the Forgotten | re: Your review to The Forgotten Master |
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| lilmommy0911 | review for chapters 1&2 |
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As for the setting, it is very bleak and it’s just how it’s meant to be, given that Im ‘attempting to portray the ending of an I’ve age. The fun will come with later setting changes, but I just have to get there. And I thank you for saying it is an interesting idea. I certainly hope it will be. I always enjoyed genetics in biology and I plan on making it a huge part of the story later on. I know that reading my stories now makes it hard to believe, but I used to be one of the best writers in my high school as I was consistently making top grades on tests, but in the 5 years I’ve been out of school and the 4 years of writers block, and now struggling with barely finding time to even write, it’s struggling at best. But even as I start over, I am glad someone sees potential. Thank you again. |
| Ptroxsora | re: Your review to Iridescent |
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| Tigrissa18 | review |
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I apriciate the hate, but if its all hate and no little compliment at the end then I just think you either really disliked my story or you love being a perfectionist or you’re just some rude critic. |
| MewBladeXxX | re: Your review to Fading Away |
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I cap the names ‘Pikachu’ and ‘Charizard’, because, in this story, they belong to a person, specifically Red. Likewise, you would cap it if it were a wild one. It does not belong to someone, but you are pointing it out as an important thing. In real life, if you were writing a letter, let’s say, you wouldn’t address a Doctor as ‘dr. Smith’, would you? You cap it because the word ‘Dr.’ symbolizes their profession. That is also likewise with the words ‘Professor’, or ‘Trainer’. Uncapping it would be like disrespecting their profession, and although that is never taken account in grammatical English, it’s simply a rule I live by. I understand that I make mistakes like that, and to add on, I hardly ever catch myself doing so. I’ll try to tighten up that, mkay? That sound good? Also, and example of where I did that? And if I may be so rude to ask, excuse my English, how old do you think I am? I am posing this as a honest question – it’s not meant to be rude! I know. I don’t do it because it might look ‘sophisticated’, or ‘intelligent’, and to add to that, I’m not sure why I used semi-colons at all. Colons would be better to use, making sure they are correctly used, ah? Semi-colons are a funny thing. And yes, I know I look absolutely ridiculous if I use them incorrectly, or in a wrong spot. Thanks! I don’t know if anyone ever feels this, and call me a freak, but whenever I pick up a copy of one of the main games, I feel as if it is actually me in the game. I am my avatar, traveling through Sinnoh or Johto, whichever it may be, facing the trainers, feeling the passions and the thrill of battle. Pokemon was what really opened me to the world of video games, and I would give it no less honor than really feeling like I was a part of the game than merely watching and controlling through the screen. Besides, Red and Blue deserve a break. They’ve been changed so much… It feels like the original Red and Blue have disappeared through the ages, ah? I was rather nervous using present tense instead of past, which I usually use. I hope I did alright. Thanks for reviewing as well as the favorite and constructive criticism! Criticism is always welcome, considering I still new to writing, even after a year or so of practice. Thank you! Mew |
| LaZeRsTaR | re: Your review to Hope |
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I mean, if it really bothers you (and anyone else who will bother to read it), I’ll change it, but that’s the way it’s in the games, so that’s how I’m doing it. I’ll probably take out the second sentence in the part you pointed out, because it doesn’t add or take away to the story. I’m glad you pointed out those things, and I’ll be sure to keep them in mind as I continue to write this. -LaZeR |
| xXChaoticOrderXx | Message |
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Maybe I’m a Kinkajou also gets one last comment just because I boggle at their ability to just sound worse and worse the longer they talk:
Superiority has nothing to do with it, I’m just nitpicking back. My fanfic that you reviewed was written in two hours for a Secret Santa that I had forgotten about, and was meant to piss off a Bianca/White fanboy who requested a fluffy fic. I noticed on your blog (of course I looked, you know that linking my fic is just giving me more views right?) that you think my story reads like rape, which surprises me since it was actually intended to be consensual on Bianca’s part, and also because I posted a fic where Sabrina beats and rapes Silver into submission on the same day.
I’m not going to counter-review or anything because in the end, it’s just Pokemon fanfiction and no one gives a shit. While I appreciate the effort on your part, you’re not going to change how I write since it is technically and stylistically correct. Thanks though. :)
As you should be able to guess from the rest of this PM, the story where Silver is raped naturally has no label indicating that.
So now how you capitalize depends on your personal feeling toward the subject?
It’s amazing, every year there manage to be new reasons and they are always more insane than the last.
Pokémon fanfiction isn’t even the only place where people sometimes seem to decide that capitalizing things is about respect somehow instead of simple grammatical rules. People refusing to capitalize “God” (as a proper noun) on the basis that they don’t believe in him/hate religion/think he’s a dick come to mind.
Well, the god thing is also confused by the fact you’ve got God, specific name in monotheism, and god, concept of. (As well as religious infighting where they won’t capitalize each other’s monotheistic deity because it’s not the real God.) I admit erring toward the lowercase just because religious people tend to uppercase, though.
“religious infighting where they won’t capitalize each other’s monotheistic deity because it’s not the real God”
People actually do this? Can you get any more childish? (said by a somewhat devout Christian who thinks the idea of spelling Allah and Jehova lowercase is silly)
That’s what happens when you have to prove you can’t be wrong in ten seconds!
“My fanfic that you reviewed was written in two hours for a Secret Santa
that I had forgotten about, and was meant to piss off a Bianca/White
fanboy who requested a fluffy fic.”
Jesus fucking Christ this makes me angry. I hope he’s blacklisted from all gift exchanges everywhere forever.
Yeah I was considering tracking that down and giving the mod a head’s up.
Oh man you totally should.
Actually, about the capitalization thing, you have to capitalize the word Pokemon (and the creatures, too) because they’re not really everyday words or really common things in general. You don’t capitalize things like french fries because people use the word French too much and Pokemon’s not exactly an everyday thing between you and I.
Well. That’s a new one.
“between you and I.:”
*twitch*
They’re actually sort of right! That’s how words can lose their capital letter in some cases. They’re just a little confused on the mechanism and making the mistake of assuming all things work from their specific viewpoint – that they’ve stopped capitalizing it so everyone agrees.
Farla, may I ask what term would describe a setting like this?
‘Sinnoh, but with pokemon inhabiting the cities and facilities instead of humans.’
So it’s basically a pokemon version of Sinnoh. Is this counted as an alternate universe? Do the characters (which are pokemon) in the story (original background and personality etc) count as OC, or do they not just because I’m using species that are created by Gamefreak?
I’ve been having this little question for a while and I know you would have the right answer. I see some friends of mine debating over this matter.
Of course it’s an AU. Anything changing the setting is an alternative setting. And if you’re creating original characters then they’re OCs.
Thank you for clearing things up!
” . . . Really disliked my story or you love being a perfectionist or you’re just some rude critic.”
All of the above, sweetie. All of the above.
Also, what’s your review swap thing, Farla?
It’s the Review Exchange on my forum.