Dragon Quill

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8879282/

Actually, whether species names should be capitalized is still questionable. English is a finicky language, and, while uncommon in casual writing, it is not incorrect to capitalize “Rabbit”, or “Golden Retriever”.
However, avian species must always be capitalized in formal writing, primarily because of the precedent established by Charles Darwin. It is incorrect to write “robin” in the place of “Robin”. Therefore, bird Pokemon like Pidgey should always be capitalized, while ones like Pikachu are a matter of opinion.
As I find it is intensely annoying and detracts from the story to read switches such as, “I like pikachu more than Pidgey,” I chose to capitalize all Pokemon species names and words (Pokecenter, Pokemon,) for consistency’s sake. It makes for a smoother reading experience than shifting between capital and lowercase, and breaks no defined grammatical rules the way writing “starly” would.
I appreciate your feedback about the ending – the story was originally conceived as a difference between Pearl and the rest of the world because she was in Turnback Cave, but it spun into something else entirely, and I agree that the Cave no longer fits. It will be edited out shortly.

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8880972/

Okay, for one, don’t be an asshole.

2: I meant for it to be a tube, how the hell else would he have met Mew? It’s a part of the story.

3: Mew is the name of the pokemon and the last time I checked, you capitalise names.

And you know what, I never told you to read my story, so fuck off. Normal freaking people made mistakes and if you don’t like mine then you can shove it up your ass and piss off. You may have been trying to help but you’re being a bitch about it.

Thankyou for reviewing and pointing out my spelling and grammar mistakes. This of course is appreciated and I will revise each chapter to fix the oversights I made.

Okay, now that that’s done I’ll go over your issues with the story so far;

No, it’s not a horror that will make people fall down and die by a stiff breeze. Radolf was suspended several feet in the air and dropped onto a cobble surface making the impact twisted as he fell, people are known to break there leg by falling from a pavement. So this is irrelevant.

Definition of Zombie is a reanimated corpse- Someone/thing dies and comes back to life. The resident Evil creatures do fall under that description too. The next chapter will be going into the virus’s processes helping you to understand its deformaties on DNA structures, patience is the key word here.

Again all will be explained on evacuation procedures that failed and why sea fairing pokemon are immune- key word patience.

Quarantine will also be explained and the reasons as to why- third time, patience.

Flying types are not over looked and borderline forces are heavy throughout the other regions, the reason as to why the fisherman is able to cross such borders will be revealed. Forth time saying it – Patience.

No, communications have been severed between regions due to certain reasons which cannot yet be revealed.

Ash is a character portrayed heavily as an individual who finds hope in the darkest of circumstances, perhaps our ideas over his character are slightly different here, I go with what I have seen of his character within the first/second television series.

Please do tell why I should not label flashbacks other than your own preferences.

All the times you used the word ‘Hello’ threw me of a bit at first, but I get what you’re saying, grammar, again thank you.

Calling Hoothoot a ‘Hoothoot owl’ was a way of describing what type the pokemon was and giving a slight insight to what I was referring to, which in the game they are known as owl type pokemon, meaning type of owl. It’s no hidden secret pokemon has used our worlds animals in their anime series but separates pokemon from them, hence they are called types, not singular titles.

The fisherman- He’s assumed to be kind of heart but, one; He takes people’s pokemon as a form of currency, and two, I cannot reveal his other motives just yet. You assume rather a lot from such little.

Being upset that people cannot go back to their homelands during a crisis that might have rendered their family injured or dead? Yeah, a slap to the face. At least it would be for anyone that would be in that position, I can imagine they understand the reason for quarintines, that was never questioned, but it would still make one feel rather…upset?

Ash’s OOC, that’s a fair point and I found him that way during this myself, but I don’t think he would choose keeping his pokemon over his mother, really, would anyone? And no, starting with no pokemon would make no sense, Ash had just completed the region, why would he have no pokemon?

So there we are, a few reasons behind my writing. Please do not see them as a means to bat away your critique, because in fact, it was helpful. But as a writer I wish to give you some advice when it comes to reading and it only comes in one key word;

Patience. It seems a lot of your issues are things that I had Intended to remain a mystery for now, in fact, the next chapter will explain the hows and whys of the virus and even how the quarantine and evacuation procedures failed. Perhaps you assumed these things would not be covered but with a little time and patience they in fact will.

Perhaps this style of story is not for you, that I can understand. Maybe it is and just my writing abilities are not to your standards, that, I can also understand and I hope to improve as time goes on.

Criticism is always welcome with me, knit picking at things that have yet to be explained…not so much, but I’m glad you brought your voice across.

Anyway to end on a thankyou once more for pointing out the fact I had two versions of the story being up is against the rules of the site, so I have decided to keep only one up (being the M for safety) I will definatly go once more over the chapters and correct any mistakes spotted.

Best wishes, Hanpolo.

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8874641/

I know that my grammar is crap. Im from Finland and doing my best, BUT you are right, i really should get a beta reader. Thank you for reviewing!