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WitChan
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/953059/
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Subject: Bitchy troll
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9979605/
Bitch, shut the fuck up. You fail as a human being and always all, constantly trolling
many authors with your bullshit. No matter what people write, you troll regardless. Also,
I learn much about your pathetic self. Do the world a favor and kill yourself, or maybe I
can kill you myself. Fucking bitch.
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Review Response for Kalos Fennekin
Hey, thanks for the review, I think. I appriciate it, but I do know how to write a story.
1) I have had people tell me that pokemon’s names shouldn’t be capitalized. I think they should because that’s their name.
2) I don’t know how the marriage thing doesn’t make sense to you but I guess it doesn’t.
3) In my story, pokemon can only breed with another pokemon of the same species. ie. Fennekin can breed only breed with Fennekin, Pikachu can only breed with Pikachu, ect.
4) Both sides are equal in strength, and the water keeps them from forming a war.
5) The dad was there when her daughter was born. That just makes sense.
6) OH MY FLIPPIN GOSH! Who ever said that was the summary of the story?! Who ever said that was going to happen?! I’m not stupid enough to put the ending of my story in the first chapter.
-Have a nice day!
Yeah you don’t capitalize the species. I know how to speak and write in English. I’m not stupid.
Listen, sweetie. Let me do things my way, and you don’t read my story. Ok.
Purplepanda2A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9979598/
Thank you for your review, but it seems you don’t let any shit slide by at all. You really put it in perspective. So, I will take a look and maybe rewrite the chapter to fix these unnoticed errors or general fuck ups. Thanks!
nld200xyA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9979848/
I’ll admit, one of my biggest problems when writing is I don’t proofread my stuff entirely before I post it. That dad bit is pretty bad and I’ll admit, I didn’t notice that beforehand. I should really work on that.
As for paragraphs, I’ve gotten mixed reactions over the past. I used to always start a new paragraph after every line of dialog, but then I got complaints saying my paragraphs are too short. Now I try to make them at least a couple of sentences without making them too long.
As for the descriptions of the characters, this is more inspired by a critique I got a LONG time ago that whenever I introduce an important character, I should describe what they look like.
Honestly, I didn’t see an issue with the whole using different words to refer to characters until now. (Though there is a reason I haven’t used Scrafty’s name yet) It’s just that when there’s more than one word, I try to use more than one as a means of avoiding repetition. I know how bad it is to use a name multiple times in the same paragraph when not even referring to another character, and I didn’t see a problem with using lizard and reptile in the same paragraph… interesting advice, I’ll keep that in mind.
I am trying to look for moments I forgot to put commas and periods in the right place though I don’t see them. Wait, did I accidentally put a verb in speech bubbles? I didn’t notice that when reading over the chapter either. That would be pretty bad if I did.
As for my choices of Pokemon, nah, it’s not based off of some sort of prejudice or anything like that. I just always wanted to use one of these guys as a villain. Thanks for the feedback and I’ll try to be more weary of these mistakes in the future.
I’m honestly not sure what the point of your review was, but thanks anyway. I appreciate your advice.
Oddly enough, I stumbled upon a forum which discussed whether or not to capitalize Pokemon. Most people said it was really up to the author.
Oh, and it was strange because your name was actually brought up in the forum.
Ah yes, thank you for the criticism. What i learned in school didn’t really give good examples on when to use, or not when to use semicolons, and always made it seem they were used a lot. For the record though, I wasn’t trying to be sophisticated, or appear intelligent, I was trying to remember the rules for it, and I guess I didn’t follow them right. As for the listing, I’ll work on that, it was drilled into my head to always be descriptive as possible. I just used to get a lot of flames on my old account for being really vague about what the characters were wearing. I’ll take everything you said into account and fix up this chapter.
Honestly though, thank you. the whole ‘sophisticated’ thing wasn’t about the writing, it was the character. she ends up murdering people, and I was going to have her try to act calm, relaxed, and clean-cut with the killings, even though on the inside it’s messing her up..
Also, if you have any tips on how to make sure she doesn’t get too Mary Sue-ish, that would be wonderful. Having a character become a Mary Sue has always been a fear of mine.
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9980947/Hum, Farla. I’m one of the reviewers and maybe Knight of Kant has already told ya.
But this one is a rewrite of the old version, because the other he noticed some mistakes and wanted to redo it.
no it doesn’t
I can see your point, but that isn’t my story but part of the story which will be coming into the light once I get some more characters and begin writing it. And plus, the bio for my character isn’t the full story of her but rather an example for people to send me their character sheets. I do apologize if I sound rude, but that is just what I have for right now.
Senpai’s actual name or description are never given because he has none, and in fact doesn’t exist. Penny made him up when she was younger, and somehow totally convinced herself that he was real. This would have been revealed at the very end of the fic, but with occasional hints beforehand.
… admittedly, it did better with test audiences before I posted it here, so… make of that what you will. … maybe I should just stick with writing for mecha anime…
Still, I appreciate your honesty and your opinions, and I hope that the next few fics you find are better/more to your taste.
You pose some very good points. I think I might use your signal idea (if it is okay with you). As far as the retelling the same story, the first chapter is the only one that strictly follows the storyline. I honestly thought about naming it Required Background Chapter because I just wanted to get it out of the way. It is just supposed to introduce the characters and such. I’m working on the next chapter and it will take a very different turn. Thanks for catching the error in capitalizing professor. Thanks for reading and reviewing too. :) You are my first review! :D You comments and criticism is helpful. :3
ticktockgoesthedocA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9982591/
First off, thanks for the grammatical advice, I didn’t realize this and I will be sure to remember this when writing in the future.
About the actual story. When she said what she said about coming along for him, I like to think that at first, yes, she came for the guy, she grew and realized how much she loved pokemon training and spending time with friends.
If I just moved to a new town and a super hot guy invited me to go on an adventure with him I’d say “Hell yeah”
For the reasoning on why they kept their relationship a secret, that was the whole headcanon that inspired me to write this. I didn’t come up with that. You hate it that much, take it up with about half of the kalosshippers on Tumblr.
Alright, I admit, Serena was acting pretty bitchy about Shauna. And of course Shauna had no clue, so there really was no valid reason for her to do so. But guess what? It happens a lot! It is a reaction that people I know would have. So sorry that you didn’t like that.
As for your final question “How did this seem like a good idea to you?” did you mean the last criticism you made or me writing this piece in general?
If it is the former that I feel I have already answered that, and if it is the latter, it’s because I like writing and nothing is going to change that. I loved the idea and rolled with it.
I’m starting out. All my writing experience has been sitting in my room and never letting anyone see it. This is the first thing I have written in 7 years that people have read. I’m going to make mistakes and write bad things. That’s OK.
I’ve looked at your profile and it seems you have angered many people with your reviews, enough so you have to tell people to block you. You’re opinionated, I like that.
Just don’t overdo it, you never know how the person you are telling this to will react.
What the fuck is wrong with people.
ForestfleetWell to be fair the reason for capitalization of Pokemon is just because they red underline it. I do agree that I shouldn’t have to do it, but if the site says… yeah I have no good actual reason. Though on the plus side I do avoid capitalizing Pokemon names like pidgey or pidgeot.
For the second problem Chris is simply scared and doesn’t really know what he should do. He doesn’t know he shouldn’t tell them he’s from another world. He doesn’t know what to really do, thus making him useless.
Finally, the destiny bit was actually the reason I even wrote the fanfic. I actually do want to defy destiny in this fanfic, and also want to try and do a prophecy correct.
However I would love to thank you for the review and giving good actual critique.
P.S. can’t wait to read more of your reviews on others stories. I do like your reviews on January, and admittedly that is the main reason I posted this story in January.