Thank you for your constructive criticism. But, their are a few things I’d like to address. Before I begin, I’d like to state I’m still extremely new to writing, and so grammar errors are to be expected. It is, after all, unedited. I also have a habit of capitalizing words I don’t need to.
Anyways, the only thing I want to say is the reason I’m asking for OC’s is because I felt like doing that for my first story. I never said I wasn’t capable of making them myself, I was just hoping to engross more people in the story. Adding other writers OC’s to the story doesn’t make it a terrible mess if you know how to work the characters into the storyline. After all, I already have 4 of the chapters written. But then again, I guess it depends on the story.

~Darkness46

Please, please explain clearly. I really appreciate your criticism on my writing, I really do but it’s extremely hard to follow with little separation in your sentences. Continue with criticizing me but I am a very simple guy and a run on is super hard for me to even try to dissect.

I capitalize Pokemon’s names because many times I’m talking about a specific Pokemon. But I see where your coming from and I probably did something like that. Is it that big or can I continue it? I don’t mind changing but this is my style with Pokemon but if it’s wrong then I’m willing to change.

As for the “Its/It’s” problem, I most likely was rushing myself and did not notice the mistake. I do know the difference.

Please rewrite the first paragraph of criticism. By the words I’ve read in your review, I think that you’re very knowledgeable and your advice could improve my writing. Also, other than some of my grammatical errors, did you like the idea going in the story? What can I improve to make it better? I am by no means a pro at writing but I’m willing to take suggestions from people like you. As always, reviews are both my lessons and my drive. Thanks.

Didn’t know that now I do and I don’t plan on becoming a professional writer so no thanks. Even though there are comics that use this style and movie scripts as well, so the write properly thing doesn’t really make sense. It’s a form a writing just one that isn’t accepted here. It was the first chapter of the story, so his development was supposed to continue. Since this is not accepted I don’t plan to continue. I never wanted to become some professional writer. Just wanted to put a story out.

First of all, let me thank you for extending your critical eye to a humble story with less than thirty views. It’s nice to know that we little people still matter. So please allow me to extend the same courtesy and respond to your critiques.

With regards to my semicolons, I’m afraid that I’m just a very pretentious person. That’s the wonderful thing about being alive in the twenty-first century; one is free to be as pretentious as one would like. Of course semicolons are pretentious, almost needlessly so; but I’m of the mind that the only thing more pretentious than using semicolons is critiquing the presence or absence of them, but to each their own :)

With regards to the Pikachu being a terrible thief, thank you for picking up on that! I was wondering if I made his ineptitude too camouflaged, but I’m glad that you were able to pick up on his less-than-astute actions when it came to scavenging and foraging. I assure you that an explanation will be forthcoming in the future, but as for now, I’m afraid you’ll have to be content with a kudos from me for picking up on it!

With regards to the capitalization of Pokemon, Pikachu, Mew, and surely more to come in the future. Primarily, I used that style of capittalization because it’s what I grew up reading in both the Scholastic book series and then other fanfictions, it follows the same grammatical rules established by previous officially licensed works such as the card and video games, and finally because, as it is a fanfiction and not a work based off of my own universe, I’d like to play homage to the principal owners of the franchise by following their rules for capitalization and pluralization. In universe, I suppose that the reason why Pikachu would not be capitalized instead of human would be because the title Pikachu is more in the line of an official Latin name such as Homo sapiens than a more general title for an animal. While it would be interesting to explore the grammar rules of the Pokemon Universe from the point of view of a resident, I doubt that many people would be interested in reading Pokemon: Strunk & White Version.

Returning to the issue of the Pikachu having a contradictory and most likely ignorant view of the wild Pokemon that he shares the forest with, that’s once again a piece of the puzzle that you’ve so astutely noticed. Congratulations!

Finally, with regards to the line of dialogue by Mew, I see your point there. I’m loathe to leave a piece of dialogue hanging by itself, but you’ve made an excellent argument in favor of doing so.

Once again, thank you for taking the time out of your day to look at my story and give me feedback. I hope that I might be graced by your critical and unwavering gaze in the future.

All the best,

Phantasm

Thank you? I think.