“When the time comes for change, I’d be more than happy to treat Pokemon as nothing but slave animals that fight to the death for us and our treated like dirt and aren’t given the privilege of a name that starts with a capitol letter. Not.”
Thank you for your message. I started writing this story on a whim and I understand it isn’t perfect at the moment, but every form of criticism helps. I will admit where I don’t know every single thing about pokemon adventures and I understand that the ‘idiotic sexism plot’ is really bad, so I will do my best to fix that. I appreciate that you took the time to write to me and express your opinion on my story, and I promise I will do everything I can to make it better. If you have any other questions, comments or concerns, please feel free to write to me, and I will do my best to fix them.
Thanks,
Featherofstars
BaconBoy23
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5350300/
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Subject: Review
Whilst I appreciate your review, it hurt my feelings.
I write for my own enjoyment and don’t try to do all the grammatical crap. I am writing
this story because I need a way to let out some stress and relief, and did not enjoy
reading your critical review.
Don’t review my story again.
Regards,
BaconBoy23
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The reason I capitalize the names of Pokemon is because unlike animals, Pokemon can’t be defined into exact groups. There are severla types of bears and snakes right? Each Pokemon has their own category and it would sound weird if I categorized them by type or region.
Please keep up with the reviews~
-KenTheKing
And about your categorization using Egg Groups. You know that the Egg Group system has been stated to have flaws as well by the President of Pokemon Japan. The Egg Group system is probably going to be completely reassembled in the next few generations. When the time comes for change, I’d be more than happy to treat Pokemon as nothing but slave animals that fight to the death for us and our treated like dirt and aren’t given the privilege of a name that starts with a capitol letter. Not. I read the forum and since I’m writing this reply to you I figured I might as well get some facts in. AlithiaSigma has a point. Earth uses grammar that was created by us humans. In the Pokemon version of the earth (lowercase earth), grammar may not apply in the exact same way. Heck, if we bring the games into this discussion, up until the 3rd Generation, people had names that were all uppercase! My friend, don’t fret too much about the capitalization. Im sorry to say, but if you wanted to make a point on my writing that involves how I present the names of the Pokemon, I would rather you display examples such as QTK that posted on your forum. I found his way of thinking interesting, but I have no such plans yo make change. Thanks for reading~-KenTheKing
Including the continuation because it’s so nice when someone’s attempt to argue actually highlights the problem. “ In the Pokemon version of the earth (lowercase earth)” indeed.
I’m going to respond to each main point that you posted up individually.
I’m aware that there could possibly be minor grammatical errors. I have a very busy schedule and don’t have time to individually go over every single sentence for every possible mistake. I thought I took care of them but I guess I was wrong. Fair enough.
Your next two points I wholeheartedly disagree with. I’ve seen in many, MANY fanfics (at least 90% of them) that make a point of using words besides “said” all the time. In fact, many writers I’ve talked to have agreed that using said repeatedly over and over again actually makes the dialogue excessively boring and the characters bland, and I agree with them. As for the capitalization, almost EVERY Pokemon fanfic I’ve ever read has capitalized the names of the Pokemon. And I mean ALL of them. Even if what you said holds true for regular Pokemon, the fact remains that legendaries like Giratina, Arceus and Latios are effectively GODS of the Pokemon universe. Nobody ever writes the names Hades, Poseidon, or Zeus in lowercase. And considering how things like types and names of Pokemon are capitalized both in-game and the many fanfics I’ve read, I firmly disagree with your point on capitalization.
As for your last comment, what some people consider boring and exciting are entirely up to the reader. I don’t take this personally because I can’t control how people feel about the fic. If you don’t like it, that’s your prerogative and I respect that.
backwardsplatypusA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10972601/
Thanks for the advice! I’ll try to fix all of these things.
Okay, first off, thank you. You are the first person who has actually given me constructive criticism. I can take reviews that others might consider harsh, and I actually really appreciate it. I’ll take what you said into account when writing in future! I’ll be sure to look back at this review when writing my future stories to be sure I don’t make similar mistakes. Thanks!
Thank you for the time you took to read my story and to leave a detailed review. I sincerely appreciate the grammar criticisms, as you can tell it’s not my strength. I need to work on improving it and I welcome any help on that front.
However criticising the central theme to a story is in no way constructive. I can hardly change it can I? I re-watched the episode recently and felt like writing. There is no limit on how many fanfictions can be written about a particular theme. Perhaps if you are bored of ‘disobedient Charizard’ then you should read something else.
Again, thank you for reading and reviewing.
Thanks for the feedback! It should be fixed by next chapter. Blame autocorrect for capitalizing pokemon. While I’m at it though, was there any story elements that didn’t make sense?
As usual, thank you for your reviews.
Thanatos’ WingsA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10970645/
Thank you so much for the review. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize the discrepancy. I also didn’t see the ‘Hello’ thing so sorry.
As for the Rayquazza thing, that was imputed to show that he wanted the most rare version of Rayquazza. Also if it can become Mega Rayquazza than a trainer that has a Rayquazza wouldn’t be able to stop him nearly as easy.
As for the Saphira thing, you are correct. The main purpose of this prologue was to show how evil her brother and dad are. You are also right in showing that I didn’t characterize Saphira enough. She is not one of the main characters of this story though, so that’s how I reasoned this out. Her father and brother, however, will play a much bigger role in the plot.
Sorry if you didn’t enjoy the prologue.
Sorry! My tablet has an autocorrect system. That is why that stuff is happening. For the paragraph thing, my tablet doesn’t like paragraphs that short.
| Reviews for Ice |
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 Guest chapter 17 . 22h ago
let’s stab farla’s tiny penis with nails.
|
Oh, “Guest”. You’ve really made this month.
The opening quote and the first response are in white.
“Considering that the people in the Pokemon Universe don’t treat the Pokemon as mere pets, but as friends and family.”
And yet I see neither Friends nor Family capitalized, Comrades.
“Heck, if we bring the games into this discussion, up until the 3rd Generation, people had names that were all uppercase!”
Wow, way to miss the point.
“In fact, many writers I’ve talked to have
agreed that using said repeatedly over and over again actually makes the
dialogue excessively boring and the characters bland, and I agree with
them.”
I used to think like that. Then I realized that what makes dialogue boring is if it just goes on and on with no actions or inner monologue to interrupt it.
People react to what is said and those reactions should be shown when they are relevant to the plot and our understanding of characters, but the way to do it is not through exotic dialogue tags.
Then I realized that what makes dialogue boring is if it just goes on and on with no actions or inner monologue to interrupt it.
AND no distinct character voices – if you’ve got those you don’t need dialogue tags in the first place. The only time a million saids should be coming up is if your dialogue goes on way too long for something saying nothing.