Politeness continues to rule the day.
Hello! I just saw your review and simply had ro reply. You see, English is not my first language. But apart from that, I’ve always had doubts about punctuation. So you’ve helped me with that. Thank you.
Did you like the story?
Hello there,
Thank you for taking the time to review my story. I appreciate all of the detailed feedback, but I would like to clear up a few points of contention.
Words such as Pokemon and Digimon are proper nouns in their respective games–while it’s a bit difficult to state grammatically why as they don’t really fall into traditional proper noun territory as a place, person’s name, etc., they are always capitalized. My best guess would be that this is because it is the name of the game and franchise. It is capitalized in official works as well. You can Google image a picture from the opening dialogue with one of the professors and the word “Pokemon” will be capitalized along with all the names of the Pokemon. In this case, “Skitty” refers to not only the species name, but the name of his Pokemon as well. Pokemon that are not given names in the canon are called by their species name.
I used to live in Tokyo where the rent and utility costs are astronomically high depending on where you live. A small apartment with close proximity to the city can run thousands of dollars a month in rent on top of a utility bill that stacks exponentially depending on how much power you are using and for what purpose. It is a common practice for Japanese people to use as little energy as possible, especially in metropolitan areas, which includes lights, heating, and air conditioning. Using candles for light is not as common, but from what Omega Ruby gives in terms of his dialogue, I picture Tabitha as being a person who goes to dramatic extremes.
I decided to use “nagged” as the personification it implies gives a more vivid picture of the situation and it sounds more casual than other counterparts such as “prompted”, which is in my opinion, somewhat rigid.
I do apologize about the spacing as http://www.Fanfiction.net does not give me as much freedom with HTML codes and the like, so if you have any suggestions for how to space a bit better using ‘s tools, I would love to hear them (and would greatly appreciate it!). Thank you!
I’m not quite sure how to explain my thought process behind the section you pointed out in this second chapter. I’m writing in third person, but there are points like this peppered throughout the fic where I move into more of a position of an omniscient narrator? If that makes sense. But your advice on swapping viewpoints is particularly useful now that I’m working on chapter 8.
Perhaps you could give me some advice for that—again, I’d appreciate it. I don’t want to give too much away, but there’s a scene where Tabitha and Shelly are in separate areas and I want to give the effect of their activities happening at the same time. However, using “meanwhile” is a bit hackneyed and not as seamless as I would like the scenes to flow. How would you approach a scene like this?
Thank you very, very much for your compliment! I am flattered you added me to your collection group on this site. ;____;
Again, I’ll keep my eye out for suggestions about spacing from my previous PM as later chapters of this fanfiction will rely heavily on it and I’ve been away from this site for so long that I’m not sure how to work some of the tech side of things. I’ve been using the text insert to upload the chapters—should I be using the document upload to preserve the spacing I have in my document version?
In this same vein, I also thought of another thing to ask you. In later chapters, I will have dialogue displayed as text messages. On AO3, I can edit the font with a skin of some sort, but this site does not have any option like that. What’s the best option for implementing this effect? A combination of bold and italics? I’m worried italics will make it seem like thoughts rather than the effect I’m going for.
Thank you!
whackazombieA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10953677/
Thanks for the advice, I’ll see that the story gets fixed.
whackazombieA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10953677/
To be honest,
I SUCK at paragraph and quotation rules.
I really needed the advice, thanks a lot :D.
Whackazombie
I remember you. Still copying and pasting comments I see.
I know there are bound to be slight mistakes in grammar of what I wrote, but I don’t usually have the time to go back and check it as often as possible, I don’t have an editor of my own, maybe that’s my problem. Dialogue tends to be the hardest thing to correct, especially in scriptwriting.
Your critisim is not incorrect, but the way you give out your reviews with constructed commentary makes me believe that you don’t actually care for story at all, that’s what bothers me when I see one of your reviews.
And?
I read on more on the stuff you do and realized you are more of a grammar reviewer, so I’m sorry for assuming otherwise, you must have a pretty occupied schedule.And hey, thanks for reviewing for a second time! I do have a few contacts that can help me with beta reading as well and one of them is a south american writer himself, so that might pan out well.
I especially started fixing how I punctuate and add commas to my dialogue, that was one of the most glaring issues I had in most of my writing.
have a good day.
-Sukotto
djtjedi
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6390327/
Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=132663672#new
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Subject: re: Your review to Everything is Different, but Nothing Changes
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10953526/
Farla,
Thanks for pointing out everything wrong with the prologue. I can’t lie that reading over
it twice now did give me an offset feeling. I was hoping if you could help me revise this
prologue, maybe next time tell me what I can do to fix my errors.
Thanks,
djtjedi
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Not sure what’s up with this.
You know I was a bit confused by this at first until I realized you do this to everyone. If your life is trolling fanfiction correcting grammar to mostly kids who are just having fun I feel sorry for you. You need to get a life and stop being the grammar police.
Thanks for the advice, I’ll be sure to try and use it next time :D
First of all, thank you for your review and for reading my story! I really appreciate some criticism.
I had thought that a drabble just meant anything less than 1000 words, whoops. Sorry for that, haha. And thanks for correcting me on the “sweatdropped” thing – if you hadn’t pointed it out, I probably never would have learned that it wasn’t fitting of a story!
Oh, and I’m glad to hear that~! I even read the store aloud to make sure the dialogue didn’t sound weird. Also, I really tried my best to keep them in character, and made sure that the story didn’t look one-sided or odd in terms of the romance factor. I’m glad that I wrote them nicely!
Thanks again! c:
Oh my god that white text.
Farla please. No.
There is control+A in the meantime.