“Thanks for the english lesson, it’s not really needed but thank you. You seem to be under the impression I have no idea what I’m doing, but I assure you, I do”
Feb 3
His eye is red because when although both of his parents had dark brown eyes, the pigment melanin never appeared in either eye, and on top of that, one of his eyes received the pigment hemoglobin instead. It’s not how it works in real life, but this is Pokémon. Suck it up.
Also, what happened is that when the older kid grabs him in the neck, he doesn’t crush the jugular vein, but instead presses on the inside of the neck, and damages the tonsils, and the vocal chords. They had to remove his tonsils as well, so he can’t make any sounds that would require his vocal chords.
Again, this is Pokémon. Suck. It. Up.
Feb 3
I apologize about the errors, I guess I have to keep working on my grammar. I did proofread it but I guess I am not aware of certain rules in proper grammar. I am learning but I guess I am having trouble executing it in my writing. Thank you for your help, I’ll try to fix the mistakes and try to prevent them from happening.
Feb 6
Do not reply anything mean.
Holy Echoes
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4321365/
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Oh one other thing! I like asking for OCS because I like seeing what people come up with.
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Feb 8
Thanks for the review,
I really appreciate your corrections, I’ll change it as soon as possible.I’ve seen the use of pokemon species names in the games, such as Foe Pikachu or Wild Pidgey.
I’ll be grateful if you’d help me with that
Auf Wiedersehn!!
Feb 14
I’m sorry, but did I fucking ask for your opinion?
If you don’t like it, don’t read it. No one ever said I couldn’t write what I write and I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think I can and can’t do.
I’m sorry not everyone is perfect sweetie, but the sooner you learn that the less inane you’ll be to society as a whole.
Book of Secrets654
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/7488494/
Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=175585393#new
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Subject: Your Reviews, and Your grammar
I see your reviews on other stories, Â and I think you should stop being so harsh to old
and new users.
Theydon’t like it, I dont like it, and I don’t think the owner of FanFiction likes it
either.
Nowyou’re probably wondering ‘I’ve been on FanFiction for years, and no one has reported
this to Fanfiction, at least I don’t think so.’
But honestly, if youdon’t want people to hate you, start with the reviews. It could take
some of the rage out of the FanFiction writers.
But for now, your stories are going to be filled with more hate then joy.
Just saying! Cause your reviews are more like flames instead of complements!
Wow, just wow.
Anyway, I hope this email helps you about your reviews, and how you say bad things to
people on the internet that you’ve never met.
And please review some of your grammar.
I find it childish to say to people to work on their grammar, although yours is low
quality as well.
All I have to say, so good day.
-Book of Secrets654
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Feb 16
Raichu10000A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10950566/
dude wtf? The story/plot is awesome, so deal with it. I mean like….seriously? I go reading reviews on what I currently think is one of the greatest ash pokeshipping/aurashipping fanfics I’ve read of ThatOneDwarf and here I see some person giving a lesson on grammar and punctuation? Just ignore the mistakes, and enjoy the story! People put effort into the plot, not into typing it with the correct spelling (though that is needed). So appreciate the effort he has put in and discard all these minor mistakes!
Feb 21
First off, regarding your comment about capitalization. I actually asked my grammar professor about this and she said that words coined by writers and creators of fiction should be capitalized or not in agreement with what the creator intended. In other words, if the creator of those words capitalizes them, then it’s correct grammar to capitalize them. Since the games, the manga, and all official sources capitalize Pokemon names (as well as move and ability names), this is the correct way to do it. I think the word “Trainer” works the same way, but my decision to capitalize it also has to with the world-building I’ve come up with for the story.
Second of all, I just need to make it clear that this story is far from over. I intend to keep it going until Pandora’s character arc has reached a point where I’m satisfied with her development.
However, you’ve made some good points. I changed the entire format of this story from plot-oriented to character-oriented in the middle, and I think that hurt the final product. I finished the chapter without planning out a lot of the character development or even how Pokemon society works in this AU. I should probably get rid of the silver bracelet entirely.
This needs a massive edit. But that probably won’t happen for a while. I need to make sure I’m editing it in a way that still satisfies me and that I’m not just doing to please one person who told me it sucked. The first thing I have to do is probably write some world-building. Uprising got pages and pages of it. This story got none.
I don’t suppose you would be willing to beta-read for me? I need someone to tell me when my character development and dialogue is completely illogical.
Feb 22
Feb 22ekruis30A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11755653/
Thanks for the english lesson, it’s not really needed but thank you. You seem to be under the impression I have no idea what I’m doing, but I assure you, I do (the formatting is just vastly different from what I’m used to). I do plan on rewriting but I put this very rough draft out here for a purpose, and it’s serving that purpose. I do not believe you were trying to be rude when you wrote this very through review -honestly I’m impressed you wrote that much over what is hardly a paragraph, so thank you for reviewing. I can’t wait until I’m finished with Chapter One so I can see what you have to say about it.
Mar 1
I like to think this is how Ash and Serena might have turned out if they both made it past the age of ten and wandering into the wilderness to catch monsters wasn’t a thing. I tried to extrapolate from given details, but I won’t deny that they’re not very much like the Ash and Serena from the show.
As for the pokemon, you’re correct.
I want the introduction of pokemon into the world to be a story event. Before that happens, I want to frame all the character conflicts in the context of a world where children don’t have access to natural-disaster type firepower.
If you have any other suggestions or criticisms, I’d be glad to recieve them.
So in conclusion:
Jan 17
What?
Feb 6
“a moot point” is how it’s written.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.
Look pal, I’m really not looking for a grammar lesson. So thank you.And with that, I’m actually caught up! Which means next we’ll move on to Children of the Dragon on Fridays.
“Answer honestly.
Do not reply anything mean.”
That could be a problem!
Is the Ash Connection/Middleground saga over?
Only in the sense it more or less concludes with the review! But I’ll probably be getting to that hilarity before next Friday.
“I’m sorry, but did I fucking ask for your opinion?”
I like how people continually don’t get what posting on a public site with review feature means.
“Theydon’t like it, I dont like it, and I don’t think the owner of FanFiction likes it
either.”
Do FFN mods even exist?