Jan 6SeanicBlueBlurSeanic here. I read over your review for my story, and have gone back to make changes for the first two chapters.

There is something that I am still confused with, and so I would like to ask for your help on it. Regarding possession and the use of the apostrophe, I was originally taught the method of (Ash’) while (Ash’s) was a contraction of Ash is. However, I have seen these two methods clash, and it made things a lot more confusing.

I read over your writing guides, and I get that using an apostrophe at the end of a name with s would indicate possession (Jesus’). That and the pronouns I get. But what about other names? How do I distinguish between Ash’s (Ash possesses) and Ash’s (Ash is). This is where my main confusion sits, and I hope to fully clarify this for the future chapters I already have written.

Other than that, thanks for the notes. I have already gone back and made the changes for the other details. And yes, I know the summary is not the best. If I could, I would improve the summary and even the title if need be. Also, thank you for your writing guides.

Jan 6Source BreakerA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11715477/

Thanks for the honest review. I’m glad someone actually said that something was wrong with the story.

With the issue of the capitalization, I guess that’s just how I write, and I don’t plan on changing it any time soon. I understand the need to capitalize what’s needed, but I guess this is just how I roll.

As for the pacing, I really have to admit that I’m really bad at it. Yes, the story is slow and it feels like its draggy. I can’t fix this one immediately, but I’ll try to work on making it a little more exciting and have the story feel like it was actually moving.

And the last comment. Well… yeah, I guess it was kinda distracting when I read it again. I’ll keep that in mind.

I wouldn’t blame you if you dropped the story immediately, and I noticed you’ve written a lot, so you’re pretty much giving me handy advice, and I appreciate that. However, i do hope that I can improve and that you’d still be willing to put up with my story.

Thanks for the review and have a nice day.

Jan 9Raichu of TimeA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11718466/

Did you notice I wrote no flames?

Yes, I know there are way better writers than me out there. I know I make serves on mistakes. But if you’re going to be this harsh on a young aspiring writer, well…
If it bothers you so much, you don’t even need to read it. You can just ignore it.
But thank you for taking your time to tell me your opinion and trying to help.
My apologies for not writing well enough for you.

Jan 10The RandomindI was about to work on a document when I realized that you reviewed my work (which is fast for my stories: usually it takes more than a few chapters for just one review). I enjoyed reading it, since only one other review goes into as much detail as you did, and I like detailed reviews. So I decided to respond to it.

“See, as much as that sucks, I can’t think that it sucks a hell of a lot less in the pokemon world where she’s going to get free food and lodging at any town while being able to pursue a well-regarded career that involves playing with magic animals that love you all day.”

My intent in the future was to develop the world in which this all takes place, as one of my reasons for restarting was the grossly undeveloped world, which couldn’t be justified the same way it (barely) could with the story’s predecessor. One example? Food and Lodging are either expensive or hard to come by (sometimes both). Battles are also taken more seriously with more consequences than just fun, bragging rights, a few bucks, and maybe a badge. (Black City is infamous for people getting mugged when they lose).

“This generally doesn’t go very well. Pokemon talking makes the whole capture and train thing look a lot more monstrous.”

I actually took a jab at that more monstrous viewpoint earlier. Most of the pokemon in my story go of their own accord, but there are some pokemon that didn’t have that same luxury of choice. It’s not quite shown in the same way it would normally be, but it’s there.

“Also a bad sign is pausing the story to explain your very detailed and yet totally unnecessary terminology. Pokemon human cross? Okay fine. Also there’s a separate thing called a pokemorph which in this fic unlike most fics means someone who can change back and forth, and we’re hearing about this despite it being irrelevant to the conversation, and also there’s a third word to refer to both of them for even less reason?”

Looking back, I’ll admit that there could have been a better way to convey the information. The third word is a bit redundant as well, so, again, my bad. I’m currently contemplating making a small gag where a later character keeps screwing up the terminology (not likely)

As for pokemorphs, there’s a small story behind me using it. When I made the first version of the story (about two years ago), I only heard of “pokemorph” by the definition I use in my stories: someone who can swap between forms of a pokemon and a human. Much later on, I came to learn its other definition, and how often it was used in lemons.

The reason I keep using the term? Not only do I still think it’s fitting for people who morph from pokemon to human form, but, after learning about it, I was also planning on making a joke out of the second definition in the form of one person (like Maria) accidentally causing confusion with someone who’s only heard the not-so-subtle definition (and I still do. I just need to figure out when to do it).

So, basically, thanks for the review! I appreciate someone really going into detail with my story. I hope to see more from you later!

-The Randomind

Jan 10Madam BakunawaA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11719598/

Actually, the ‘starting your adventures when you’ve turned ten’ is just an anime thing. Since I’m basing this off in game, I’d like a much more older character. As for the tradition part, I like to think that since the main protagonists in the X & Y game are much more older((age isn’t confirmed but their clothing style and body shape is pretty mature for a ten year old)) than the previous ones, maybe the people in Kalos doesn’t stick to the ‘you should start your adventure when you turn ten’ belief.

Other than that, she and her friend won’t be beaten by ten year olds so easily…I’m guessing you may not read further on so I’ll say this now, she and her friend goes to a normal school not a pure Pokemon school but the school she goes to has a Pokemon course where they teach you about Pokemon related things that can help them get ready until they become Pokemon trainers. So…seeing as how old she is, she’ll be in a Gr.12 lv Pokemon class, with that-she will know a lot of battle strategies n such and some hands on experience of how to take care and battle with/of Pokemon.

And yeah, I really struggle with dialogue and along with many things lol. I’ve always been struggling with English so I appreciate it when others points out my mistakes since I often forget all of these important stuff. Thank you for the review!

Jan 10MetekinGiantA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11721115/

I was wondering if I was overusing my semicolons. I felt uncertain several times, but I felt comfortable using a semicolon in place of a period or comma a fair amount of times. It may have just been my blindness as the writer, but when I used a semicolon, I had to ask myself: “Are they separate sentences that could be connected?” I guess my answer was always “yes”, which isn’t good…
But thank you for the review. I’ve seen you review many other people with similar messages, and others claim that you’re a “hacker” or you leave “bugged” reviews, but I don’t believe that – I just think they don’t want people to hear what they’ve done wrong (which ultimately hinders the writer).
I understand your confusion with the content as well. Being trapped in a freezing cabin with no food and essentially deteriorated Pokémon and flirting with your only other human companion is the only thing you can do? It’s pathetic, but that’s why I created the story around that.
Would you spend your time flirting while freaking out because you’ve been trapped inside a foodless cabin? No. Obviously, you’d be frantic. However, they aren’t freaking out, are they? They aren’t frantic because they’ve accepted and adjusted to their situation. They know help is coming (at least, they hope it is), and have decided to conserve their energy by doing practically nothing. But even though you find yourself in a weakened state with no food and barely any warmth, that doesn’t mean you lose all sense of emotion.
Apply the situation to a non-lethal environment. Ash and Serena are trapped in a grocery store for the night, without their Pokémon. I find it hard to believe there’s not going to be any flirting, or (because it’s Ash and Serena) at the very least, a bit of awkwardness.
But, in the end, that doesn’t really matter. This is just another chance to improve my writing, so thank you. I’d like to ask if there’s anything else you found in the story that you disliked, or noticed I did incorrectly? I’d appreciate the information.
Thanks again for taking the time to read and review my work. Anyone willing to take the time to help me improve is a valuable asset in my eyes.

Thoughts?
Derek

Jan 10Iridescent IsabelleA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11719859/

Thank you for expressing you opinion. However, I am not pleased with the way you’ve done it. The tone on your profile tells me you’ve insulted way more people than just me.

Did you know there is a class in the Communications course called Bringing Bad News? It’s all about tact. It’s about softening the blow of constructive criticism with a compliment about what did go right. One does not bring bad news by simply slashing away aggressively and then suggesting the receiver is not allowed to be upset. If you try not to rub someone the wrong way, they might just follow your advice.

I have read your advice about capitalisation and I’ve decided I will not follow it. While your suggestion is indeed grammatically correct, I prefer my way, treating Pokemon and their species names as proper nouns.

Have a good day,

Iridescent

Jan 10BlazeScarletA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11719867/

Your probably not going to reply to this but I don’t care. What I really do care about is my fanfic. Personally, I think this review is nothing but rude. I doubt you have even played a Pokemon game or a Mystery Dungeon game. So I feel that I need to pick this review in parts.

Capitalize your title properly?
I think your problem with the title is that I put in Team Nova. Its in the game and if you don’t believe me go look at Marriland’s Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, Part 02 as it clearly says Team Gr8Justice. And yes he put it like that.

If you have an actual story to write, write that instead of yet another copy of the standard PMD opening everyone else already wrote.

That’s just rude right there. Not every PMD fanfics duplicate are like that. I read some of them and they don’t have the opening. And you say my fanfic is a copy. Alright I’ll admit that I copyed dialogue from the game and I’m not ashamed to admit that. I plan to redo this when I write Team Blaze: Makin’ For The Right. And don’t tell me that I have spelt Makin’ wrong because it’s a song from Sera Myu (A sailor Moon musical)

I’m not even going to reply to that long paragraphy about dialogue as it makes no sense. I feel that you are copying and pasting everything your saying over and over again. Oh and btw I seen some of the reviews on your pg and the reviewers are not impressed. Spelling is not one of my great areas and I struggle with it so I have to spell check, nobody is perfect.

[This Pokemon ] This makes no sense. You should of put This is Pokemon

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Now this one takes the cake. I do capitalize the animal, mouse or dragon becasue thats how they have done it on Bulbapedia and your saying I shouldn’t do it? You are arguing against a website that I trust. And I would never capitalize words like telephone. Do you think I’m dumb? And you have to capitalize Trainer and Professor becasue they are there titles.

So I hope you enjoyed hurting people like you have done before. I would have accepted this review if you were pointing out the good and bad parts. But I don’t accept this review.

Jan 11MegaSerperiorA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11724359/

First of all, thanks for reading PMD:SoL and trying to help, but honestly I think the semi-colon thing is a matter of opinion. It’s quite possible to overuse it, but I didn’t use often enough to do that.

And instead of copypasting a huge block with random speech rules, in the future you should only post the parts the person violated.

Also, opening scene is very important for character development, and for people who haven’t played the games and are therefore unfamiliar with how it goes. And I did not COPY the opening scene. Obviously they’re all going to be similar as they follow the same premise, but it is NOT copying.

Anyway, thanks for R&Ring.
–MegaSerperior

Jan 11Matthais UnidostresA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11722139/

YOU AGAIN!?
Look, if people wanna capitalize Pokemon species names, then they’ll do it. We aren’t gonna change our writing style just because you tell us to! You’re not the law!
And another thing, I’m sick and tired of seeing you bug people with these backhanded reviews. Fine, we mess up on punctuation a bit, thanks for pointing that out, but have you ever considered that maybe we’re more focused on THE STORY! I’ve noticed you didn’t say a word about the actual plot of this fanfic. If you’re going to criticize our grammar, couldn’t you at least have the decency to talk about what you liked or disliked about the story?
You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna report you. Maybe then you’ll learn to provide some helpful and uplifting criticism instead of this cold, impersonal copy and paste command.

Jan 10xXFrostKittenXxA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11723706/

Thanks for reviewing! It’s always appreciated.

I do know the difference between a noun and a proper noun, though I thank you for the brief lesson. My understanding is that it’s a personal choice, and I choose to capitalize them to make them stand out.

The original attempt was a girl with a Vulpix. It’s a Pokemon I happen to like, not just because it’s cute but because it’s also one of the more mystical species with quite a bit of lore behind it. But I ultimately decided the reviewer may have a point; it’s often seen, along with Eevee, lab starters, Pikachu, and sometimes even Growlithe.

Jan 10PikaPowerX10A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11722547/

Thank you for the criticism, my writing has been rusty since my restart.

Jan 11astrangebutreassuringlikeA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11723549/

Hello! Thank you for the amazingly helpful review, I really appreciate it and will edit it as soon as I can. I honestly really appreciate it, especially where dialogue is concerned (I was taught at least 4 different times, 4 different ways throughout my school so I was always confused.)

Thanks again,

Meri

Jan 11ryaneden25A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11724115/

Thanks for the help.

Sometimes i forget stuff like punctuation and capitalization when I’m writing a chapter and these was done in bit of a rush. But I’ll take my time next time and look over stuff before i actually post a chapter.

Besides the errors what did you think about the story? i tried to keep Blue and Leaf’s personalities original as possible. I’d like to get your thoughts if possible and not to much trouble.

Jan 11MasterDewott12Wow, I’m really appalling at English. Thanks for the rules, I’m going to remember they. Anyway, thanks a lot. This kind of reviews is what I was expecting. Actually, I’m searching a beta reader or a translator and I’m going to move this story to another one, with the bases, but with other region and characters. About the Pokémon names, I just think that writing “Pikachu” looks better than “pikachu”, but if it is how it is, I have to respect that rule. Again, thank for your review! I’m going to learn a lot about it.

Jan 11Nitro IndigoA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11723552/

Hahahaha no.
Pokémon names are capitalized in EVERY official Pokémon medium. If you don’t believe me, play any main series game starting from Gen 5.

Jan 11Sorry if my previous PM sounded rude, but please don’t correct people based on false information.

Jan 11DearYouFromMeA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11723494/

Thank you for catching those grammar mistakes. I’ll make it a point to review my own works more thoroughly before publishing. I also understand why I shouldn’t use quotation marks for thoughts. For this story, I’ll keep it for consistency’s sake, but I will change that in upcoming stories.

However, while it may not be interesting to have two people just battle it out, that is the purpose of this story. I know that I should make my future writings more interesting, but the purpose of this work is simply for writing exercise. I’ll do my best to make my future works more interesting than this, though.

Thank you for reviewing! I really appreciate constructive criticism, and you gave me good advice and tips for future work.