Okay, looks like that’s it for the whole Relic area, at least for now, so, time to go back.

Trubbish. So I guess the area’s getting polluted?

Wanting more garbage, they
follow people who litter.
They always belch poison gas.

Another one with particularly weird formatting.

Scraggy! Didn’t raise you last time, think I’ll stick with that decision.

Proud of its sturdy skull, it suddenly headbutts everywhere, but its weight makes it unstable, too.

Hey, there’s a mandibuzz here! L25

Huh, it has weak armor as an ability, which lowers defense and boosts speed? Who really needs speed more than defense? I mean, sure, being faster is good, but once you’re faster, getting even faster does you no good.

They fly in circles around the sky. When they spot prey, they attack and carry it back to their nest with ease.

Vultures are different than hawks!

Okay, looks like that’s everything.

Onward…there’s some building at the end of the road?

Inside there’s some guy flanked by women?

Hmmmm… What should I do? I can’t possibly manage everything. Hello there! Welcome to Join Avenue! We don’t have anything yet, as you see, so it’s just an avenue at this point. Oh, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. I am the owner of Join Avenue. My dream is to go around the world building avenues that bustle with lots of people. The problem is…I have no one I can trust to manage my avenue.
…
…
Something just struck me! You seem to be a Trainer traveling around, aren’t you? You naturally meet people from all over the region, don’t you? I know it seems sudden, but will you manage the avenue for me?

Sure, at least one of these new things should be in female hands, dammit.

Thank you so much! OK, tell me what kind of person you are. What would be your favorite phrase that you’d use to greet everyone?

Arg when will Nintendo get that this is stupid.

Then I get a bunch about how I should be careful about what I choose because other players will hear it? Well I wasn’t planning on writing COCKS but now suddenly I really want to.

I guess I’ll go with SHUT UP! Fits perfectly, and it’s what I want to tell everyone.

That’s a great line! Then what would you say when something moves your heart? You want to choose something universal, a phrase that anyone will understand, you know?

Hm. I can’t fit KILL THEM ALL, let alone a dragon related threat, so I guess MURDER!

SHUT UP! MURDER! I knew it! You are the one! Who else would be so well suited to managing the avenue?

I guess this confirms that recreational drug use exists in the games.

Sir! shouts one of his female servants. I hoped she might point out his dumbassery, but I guess she’s realized it’s a lost cause. It’s almost time for your next appointment…

Idiot: Oh, I almost forgot. My assistants! You heard me. I must leave now, so please support our newest manager.

Bluehair: Yes, sir! Please take care of yourself.

Looks like there’s one bluehair boy there as well.

Pleased to meet you! says the girl. How should we address you?

Hm. Lord comes to mind, but I think I want a female title. Empress will do for now.

Empress!

Yes.

Now that you are the one to manage the development of the avenue, please turn it into a wonderful attraction where many people visit.

Hm. Or I could just drain away your resources until you go bankrupt, then skip off with my own coffers filled. Usually I’m not a fan of the Mitt Romney style of business, but your boss clearly has more money than he deserves.

I’ll explain how to develop the avenue, so please talk to me when you are ready.

Okay, so it seems like this is another c-gear thing, but that apparently there’s some functionality in the game itself.

Some guy comes in to open a dojo, ruining the pretty atmosphere. You can pay to raise your pokemon’s levels. I guess that’s useful? I can get more people by trading, it seems.

Okay, so going to the next city…Failry is standing in front of some building. I’m gonna avoid that, then.

To the ferris wheel! Some guy’s in front, battles me and we end up riding. If this is meant to remind me fondly of N, it’s working. I’m not sure it’s such a great idea to remind me of what I liked better about the previous game, though.

I’m told that Elesa isn’t in her gym but is at the rollercoster instead. I thought that was her gym?

Well, I’m going to go rearrange my pokemon team.

Currently, I have:

L24 flaaffy
L28 audino
L27 servine
L24 psyduck
L22 koffing
L21 magnemite

And there’s lots of other pokemon I want to raise. I think I’ve got a handle on how audino battles, so I’ll deposit that for now. I really like sigilyph, and I need a flying type, so I’ll grab that.

There’s a thunderstone next to the pokecenter for some reason…

The battle institute is apparently closed until I beat the champion.

Okay, so the pokemon musical thing seems the same as before.

Can I leave?

Going out… Bianca.

Bianca: Hey! Nice timing! I was wanting to give you this!

And now I’ve got fly.

Ta-da! It’s a Hidden Machine, Fly!

Yes, I can read.

When you use this move outside battle, you can go to places you want to go, like a Pokemon Center. By the way, Farla, do you know about Hidden Grottoes?

I do not particularly.

OK! Then I’ll explain!

…so if I’d have said yes, you’d have skipped the explanation? That’s nice.

Sometimes you can find a grotto among the trees where Pokemon like to hide. That place is called a Hidden Grotto. Makes sense, right?

Yeah.

Wait! … Over there! I heard something from that direction! I have good ears. Hey! Come with me!

And she leads me off, presumably toward one of these places.

The sound is coming from somewhere around here. Wow! Here is is! There’s a gap, and it looks like we can fit through! C’mon! Let’s go have a look!

And then the narration adds Look! You’ve found a narrow path! The game needs to pick second or third person and then stick with it.

Will you follow it?

Sure.

Bianca leads the way.

Hey, a Pokemon! A Pokemon that hides in a place like this might be pretty amazing!

Yes, animals that work extra hard at hiding are always extra awesome.

Amazing! This is a huge discovery! An incredible find!

I thought you just explained you knew about these things?

I’ll go check a lot of other trees to see if there are more Hidden Grottoes!

And call me if you find them, right?

She just runs off.

Well, it’s a minccino.

Minccino greeet each other
by grooming one another
thoroughly with their tails

…they groom using their tails?

A little beyond is that maid that buys food. Seems you have to sell everything individually. So you can buy casteliacones in sets of twelve, but can’t sell them the same way. And the whole transaction takes a good many screens.

Continuing, I find the way blocked by a battle. For some reason I find that a more acceptable road block. I guess it’s the obviously temporary nature.

Going the other way…

Two years ago, a Pokemon called Zoroark was hiding it’s lair in the Lostlorn Forest of Route 16.

First off: it’s lair? Really? I’m going to gut the next person who makes any reference to the games’ quality grammar.

Second, huh. I never did do much with the endgame stuff in Black. I should, it sounded interesting.

Third, but I want one now, do you have anything like that?

Huh, no one stops me as I leave…

My flaaffy levels up. Apparently they can learn electro ball, despite that move being based around speed and their speed sucking. Okay.

Swadloon.

Preferring dark, damp places, it spends the entire day eating fallen leaves that lie around it.

Liepard.

Their beautiful form comes from the muscles they have developed. They run silently in the night.

Roselia

One where the female difference is larger rather than smaller. Can’t shake that this stems from whatever makes it so male animals wear shirts but girl ones have to wear full dresses.

It uses the different poisons in each hand when it attacks. The stronger its aroma, the healthier it is.

Huh. I talked to some guy who talked about a zoroark doing stuff two years ago, then suddenly he turns into one. Then it runs away.

Gothita. Another one I haven’t raised. It does seem interesting but it just looks too humanoid.

It stares intently at everything. It can become so obsessed with watching that it doesn’t notice attacks.

Emolga

It glides on its outstretched membrane while shocking foes with the electricity stored in the pouches on its cheeks.

Hm, combee. I guess getting one that can actually evolve isn’t quite as impossible in this game. (Although if you cheated it was actually easier back then – you could just keep resetting.)

This Pokemon is a set of three. When they sleep, they gather up and form a giant hive of 100 Combee.

Oh hey, heracross!

No matter how heavy its opponents, it flings them far away with its prized horn.

Does anyone else remember what a big deal heracross was when we first heard about it? It learned an actual useable bug move! At last you could hit Mewtwo in his bug weakness! Or you could except it’s part fighting and dies a horrible death if you get it anywhere near. But it was hard enough to get your hands on one that this wasn’t immediately evident.

Pansage. Yay.

It’s good at finding berries and gathers them from all over. It’s kind enough to share them with friends.

I’m not playing Carebears.

Continuing, I find that way blocked as well, this time by a malfunctioning elevator.

Okay, so I guess I’ll talk to Failry. Tomorrow, more annoying dialogue!