Can I leave the place of BP and no exp?

No, they follow me.

Cheren: I barely recognized you and Farla.

Well, you also barely know me. And by barely, I mean not at all.

You two are way different from when we battled in Aspertia City! Traveling with Pokemon makes everyone grow so much…

Doesn’t seem to have grown you that spine. Stop meekly obeying asshole adults.

And a Team Plasma member runs by, interrupting. Thank you god.

Gary: What was that just now?!

Stop talking that’s precious experience points and non-sucky plot over there!

I’m going after him! Farla, come with me!

GO AWAY I SAW HIM FIRST! DIBS!

Stop.

Who are you and why do you want to die by dragon so badly?

It’s Colress! Please be evil.

Colress: There’s no reason for you to stick your necks into something so dangerous.

I suddenly comprehend why no one else seems to level as fast as I do – they don’t understand what leveling is. “No reason”? I’m a pokemon trainer!

Gary: The Pokemon I’m looking for–my little sister’s Purrloin–it might be with them!

And he runs off.

Cheren: I’m going, too!

God, why? Your only coherent characterization is mindlessly following adults, are you expanding that to mindlessly following anyone? Stop stealing my exp!

I’ve got his back!

I hope you’ll be very happy together and leave me alone then.

Colress: I don’t understand. That’s not courage, it’s recklessness!

Dude, Cheren took part in the overthrowing of Team Plasma, he can handle one grunt.

Does he think that anything is possibly simply because he has his Pokemon with him?

…no, I just explained why it’s totally reasonable. Do you attribute everything to your pet theory? Evolutionary biology called, they want their bullshit methodology back.

No, no… That’s not possible. All Trainers and pokemon are bound to one another by Poke Balls…

Uh, I’m not really bound, I can dump them whenever I feel like.

Then maybe it is this bond that will allow Trainers to overcome the impossible if they trust their partner Pokemon.

It’s like they got together and said, “How can we make last game’s plot even worse?”

Talking to him again produces: Colress: Trust… It’s too much of an unknown factor. But if believing in your Pokemon gives you the courage to stand up to Team Plasma… And the courage to help your friends…

Then it must be crushed beneath your heel? Come on, I want a fucking villain here! The most that’s happened is some scared Plasma grunts were chased out of sewers!

Then follow them south to the dock!

You suck.

One of the nameless NPCs tells me that battling brings the world together, I guess because they haven’t been hammering in the “who cares if pokemon are happy they’re necessary for us to get along” enough this game.

Onto the ship. It’s a lot bigger once you walk onto it.

Gary: This ship… Why is it so cold?

Because they’re evil, duh.

Cheren: And…

It’s dead silent, yeah I noticed too.

It seems like it’s disguised as an old sailboat…But that can’t be it, right?

I wasn’t aware it was impossible for old sailboats to be used for criminal activities.

Team Plasma: Why should you care?

Yeah, I’m not sure why the hypothetical alignment of different boat types really matters. Since when are sailboats Chaotic Good? Who cares if it’s an actual sailboat or a boat that looks identical to one for all practical purposes?

By the time we’re done with you, it won’t matter anyway! And a swarm arrives.

Let me help!

Gary: You guys… Seriously, this is Team Plasma’s base?

Haha, it is kind of underwhelming when you think about it. I guess it’s practical, though!

Another one appears.

Team Plasma: Correct answer! So that’s why, as you can see…

Another swarm! Yay!

There are so many of us here!

YES I WANT TO FIGHT ALL THE PEOPLE

Gary: Is this all? I think you need more backup.

While I’m in favor of more, shut up, this is my game.

Team Plasma: Ha ha ha! Oooh, I’m so scared, big tough guy! OK! Pulverize these punks! Plasmaaaa!

…but we still have time for a quick huddle to plan.

Gary: Hey, just to let you know… I’m about to unleash my rage!

Oh god what does it take for you to shut up?

And…Cheren goes to the five to the top, and Failry to the five at bottom, and I’m left with only the two in the middle? Fuck.

Team Plasma: You’re first!

Huh, L33 koffing. If all the pokemon are around the thirties, then Cheren and Failry should be crushed easily.

I win, other guy fights, then comments I remind him of someone from two years ago, for god’s sake I get it already.

And the fucking killstealers have apparently taken out everyone else, although one mentions they don’t even have a pokemon yet. Another repeats the bit about bullying their pokemon, so maybe it’s the same person. Failry’s side can do nothing but sing his praises. Failry tells me to back up Cheren, so…

Huh, guess Cheren wasn’t quite done. Now we’re double battling. Time to beat your pokemon… which, huh, somehow leveled up to L33 while I wasn’t looking?

Dammit, I spend most of the battle knocking his pokemon out. I only beat one pokemon on my own. What’s the point of double battling if his pokemon can beat everyone on their own?

Then Cheren sends me back to Failry to help him? Why can’t I just fight these guys on my own?

OK, Plasma punk, are YOU the thief who stole a Purrloin in Aspertia five years back?

Get over it!

Okay, beat up Failry’s pokemon a bit faster.

Gary: That’s the last of ’em! Well now… Why don’t you tell me everything you know about Purrloin?

See, the real problem here is that they won’t give up the whole mute protagonist thing but really want to write lengthy RPG scenes. So they need a stand-in protagonist…and they quickly became more interested in him than the actual player. When it was just me, the enemies would monologue at me, but a dialogue requires other speakers and naturally excludes those who don’t talk.

Cheren: Good idea…

Seriously? Demand random grunts tell you about a pokemon they likely wouldn’t remember anyway?

There are a lot of things I want to ask as well.

“Like, how do you get a dragon? That dragon two years ago was awesome and I want in on that.”

???: What is going on?

Please be someone cool.

It’s…uh, some sage guy? Who’s as confused by me as I am by whoever he is. The purple guy.

Cheren: Oh, good grief…

Yeah, the sages mostly spent last game refusing to fight me, so I can’t say I’m impressed.

You’re the person who was shivering in the Cold Storage, right?

That was a particularly low point.

Wasn’t your name Zinzolin?

Couldn’t care less.

You’re going to have to tell me what you’re planning to do with this ship.

Zinzolin: YOU! Once again, we will use the legendary Dragon-type Pokemon and we will rule the Unova region!

Uh, I think those ones are spoken for.

Curious trainers, we shall not let you run around as you please!

Then he looks around stupidly.

Shadow Triad! Get them out of here!

NO! My precious exp and loot!

Shadow Triad: By the way, we are not your…

Zinzolin: I know! But kick them out of here now!

Shadow Triad: Move.

And suddenly we’re on the docks! Oh, Shadow Triad, you and your inexplicably ninjaness warms the blackened cockles of my heart. Plus you’re so sparing with your words. You’re awesome.

Gary: The Shadow Triad? What’s their deal, anyway!

Obeying N, I guess? I associate them with him, anyway. I forget if last game there was a reveal that they were working specifically for Ghetsis or not, I was kind of zoning out by that point.

AAAAH! Team Plasma! Where did you vanish to!

It’s worth it not to battle more of them for how much it makes Failry suffer. Until I get my dragon, this will have to do.

He runs off, probably to cry like a baby.

Cheren: The Shadow Triad… With their superhuman powers, they can immobilize people and then disappear!

Man, what is it with Japan and ninja, though? I mean, seriously. Like, psychics, psychics seem in theme for the universe. But ninja magic too? Come on.

But I’m more concerned with what Zinzolin said…

Yes, “we’re planning to do that thing that totally didn’t work for us last time, only with less power and influence and two people who already have a world-ending dragon who hate us running around” sure is worrying.

“Once again, we will use the legendary Dragon-type Pokemon and we will rule the Unova region!”

Yes, that’s what I said.

What could that mean?

JESUS CHRIST

WHEN I KILL YOU I’M GOING TO PLEAD THAT YOU WERE ALREADY FUNCTIONALLY DEAD AND SO IT CAN’T POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN A CRIME

I HAVE MET MORE INTELLIGENT ROCKS

The legendary Dragon-type Pokemon Reshiram and Zekrom aren’t in Unova anymore…

Oh, okay that’s-

No, that doesn’t actually matter unless you assume Plasma is like some sort of reverse vampire that can’t leave the confines of a location. If those are the only ones, then it means they’re planning to a) steal them or b) subvert their owners. Otherwise, it means there’s more legendaries. Recent games have been stuffed with them, it’s not a stretch, so this shouldn’t surprise you.

Farla. There’s something I want to look into, so I’m going to head to Route 6!

If you’re not going to explain anything why bother telling me at all?

Be careful out there!

Why? You’re the one who’s going to get eaten by a dragon.

And he leaves.

Well, that sure was a failure of a dungeon. I’ll go check out the Relic Passage now.

Actually, I want to evolve my magneton. I’ll dip into Chargestone Cave first.

Cheren:

Oh god when did you get here???

Oh, Farla. Can you come with me for a moment?

And he’s dragging me into the deerling place?

Cheren: No one really talks about it, but the record shows that there was a sudden drop in temperature near Lacunosa Town.

That’s a really sinister opening to something that sounds pretty reasonable.

It was only for a moment, but it went down as low as -58 F.

Okay, that’s worrying. Why wouldn’t people talk about it, though?

Not only that, but similar temperatures were recorded around Castelia City and Driftveil City.

…then how are people managing to keep this quiet?

On top of that, that incident with Team Plasma! I think this needs some investigation before things go bad.

Rather genre-savvy of you.

I hate cold weather, though.

I appreciate both the honesty and the fact you have any excuse at all for making me do it instead.

I’ll give you this… It’s a Hidden Machine that contains Surf. With this, please go to different places and check what’s going on. Let one of your Pokemon learn Surf, and you can travel across the water.
Sorry to have slowed you down.

Don’t worry about it! You’ve been a great NPC here.

Some strange things may be happening, so be careful on your journey!

See, this is exactly how cutscenes should go. References to interesting things further on, me being the one who needs to deal with them, and items.