So more exploring the city, I guess.

Entering the Battle Company building gets me jumped by a grey haired guy.

People who work in this building have Pokemon battles, not opinion battles. You appear to be strong, but if you go upstairs, please be extra careful. Oh yes! If you’d like, you should have your Pokemon hold this!

And I get an exp share.

That’s the Exp. Share!

I COULD READ IT THE FIRST TIME, THANKS.

He explains what it is, then starts singing.

I am a janitorial man. I make everything spick and span. wat.

Then he leaves.

Some bluehair girl says she’ll help me with my pokedex and asks what pokemon I started with. She gives me an item rather than a monkey. Also, she lets me lie about my starter, so I can pick which I get. But it’s a pretty sucky item, an elemental attack booster.

Upstairs, my first victory gains me quickballs.

And now marril’s evolving.

Its long ears are superb sensors. it can distinguish the movements of things in water and tell what they are.

Apparently marril can evolve into azumarill at L18, which is surprisingly early for a three stage pokemon, but then, its baby form was added later.

Well, that removes one water type from my team. Maybe I’ll raise a growlithe?

Holy shit the female clerk.

Let’s consider how this is even without touching actual clothing. The guy is juggling several things. Clearly, he’s new at this, but he’s busy doing important stuff and he’ll get the hang of it eventually. She? She’s dropping a single pokeball while holding half the stuff he is, without any sense of urgency. She’s there to be cutely helpless for someone else to swoop in.

Then she starts going on about how secretly she’s a spy and no, game, just stop.

The next guy gives me timerballs, a lot more useful.

Then the whitecoat guy hands me a scope lens without needing any fighting.

Then a more serious looking clerk spies me.

Note gender here as well.

Riolu learns copycat. Riolu really has a weird moveset, it’s full of more advanced moves like counter and feint and now this. Also, copycat appears to be be a renamed mirror move.

On the top floor, the guy from the beginning says I get to fight his grandson, the CEO, and the strongest pokemon trainer in the building. He has a L19 eevee.

I have a L19 riolu with force palm.

He also has a L19 herdier.

And now I have a L20 riolu.

They give a speech about enjoying yourself. Bah. Also, the kid wants to make a device to let people talk to pokemon. I want to see that come out and cause their society to come crashing down. How long can their whole thing about people and pokemon being “equal” last once pokemon can actually say what they want the same as anyone else? Once pokemon talk, they’re not equal to people, they are people.

Outside a woman on the street says, It’s wonderful how the Pokemon and women here are so full of life! What?

On the pier, someone gives me a destiny knot.

Inside the survey place, someone gives me a pokeball they say I dropped. Instead of letting me say it isn’t mine, I just get told to say thanks properly.

The gym is blocked off by Clyde again. He says the gym leader went off because there was trouble, then Iris appears to be surprised, as if this isn’t how he always is.

Isn’t Burgh always vanishing, though?

YES! Thank you, Iris, when I kill everyone you shall be spared.

She goes on to say he wanders off over “artist’s block”, the lazy fucker.

Hi there! Who are you?

Your new best friend, that’s who!

…
Looking for Team Plasma? But Team Plasma disbanded two years ago! I guess that doesn’t matter! You’re having problems, so I’ll help you out!

Okay, but not too much help. Guiding rather than battling, that sort of thing.

Hmm… Now where would suspicious people go to hide? That’s it! That might be where they are!

…and she runs off.

Clyde: Good grief. Burgh and Iris are so similar.

Uh, no, Burgh is an annoying flake.

It looks like she went around the corner, toward the Pokemon Center.

I have eyes, you know.

God, and then he wants to know if I know where the pokemon center is. Even if I didn’t, you just said she went toward it and I saw her leave.

Ooh, I got an amulet coin! I used to use this all the time back in GSC. Also, they reference Mr. Lock, then upstairs apparently someone’s had their pokemon stolen by Team Plasma. Also, another guy says he’ll give me something if I get 40 pokemon in the pokedex. That’s the new-gen “see once” version of pokedex completion, of course.

Hm, it looks like I’m able to walk out of the city from here. Let’s ditch this scripted

Bianca: Hey there!

goddammit

When I saw you in the city, I just had to catch up with you! Here, tak this! This is a Dowsing Machine!

Ooh, cool, I like that.

And…she’s letting me go?

Oh!

Dammit.

Okay, now she’s explaining registering items. But then she left! I can keep going! MY LIFE IS MY OWN AT LAST!

That actually looks like an okay outfit. But just look at the male version:

And you realize she’s basically wearing the equivalent of a sexy nurse outfit. The male version looks practical.

On the brighter side my servine just learned leech seed.

Just found a second mystic water. So I guess the which starter thing was meaningless and they made sure to seed the area with all three slight boost held items just in case?

Okay, continuing on:

Hey, Trainer!

This is about how the road’s blocked, isn’t it?

These boulders suddenly lined up like this… What’s more, the HM Strength won’t budge them.

Right.

Okay, in fairness, the first games were pretty linear. But at least there was a sense of some sort of progression involved. You beat Brock, the guy telling you to beat Brock goes away. You get through Cerulean in part by beating up a Team Rocket guy. This is just so arbitrary.

What’s really annoying is I was going to head back anyway at this point, but knowing I can’t just ruins that.

Back in the city, I go down a seedy alleyway. There’s a suspicious red light cafe where they give me moomoo milk, and outside some guy gives me flash.

There’s the same painting area. This one makes some reference to a destined meeting occurring. I can’t tell if it’s about the last game or something that’ll happen this game. Other paintings are about an ugly truth and vanquished hero, which seems like it’s last game. I really hope we’re going to be getting some epic prophesy stuff this game as well.

Also, I buy some ice cream, apparently it’s easier to get now, thank god.

And there’s Iris again.

Hey, c’mon! Thumb Pier is past here!

Okay…

If you mention a suspicious place in Castelia City, the only places that come to mind are Narrow Street and here!

I assume that’s the porn cafe and flasher guy street?

Anyway, going down another street I find the Game Freak building, but no one comes forward to take credit for the walls of text.

Someone else gives me rest and suggests pairing it with a chesto berry.

Oh, and at the top of the medal rally building is the pokemon dream thingy? I don’t know what’s going on.

And hey, sewer chat guy’s moved…

Iris: You can go inside the sewers from here!

Yes. Yes, excellent. Iris, you can pick who you want my dragon to eat.

Gary: Farla! Did you find Team Plasma!

Nope.

Augh! Those dirty Pokemon thieves! That means the only place I still haven’t checked is…

Also nope, that’s my sewer and my sweet, sweet exp.

Farla! Help me out!

Only if by that you mean do it for you.

Arg no he’s just run ahead of me.

Iris: Yup! The sewers are a perfect place for hiding!

Sigh…

Well, before I go, I need to pick a new pokemon.

Going into the pokecenter, there’s someone there at the desk, and they go through the sooorry thing and then ask about Geonet and then when I say I know tell me anyway. I remember something like that happening last game.

Well. Like I said, I’ve never raised a magnemite, so I guess I’ll go with that, even if I do already have an electric type. My current options are sunkern (to my recollection just generally sucky, stone evolution), magnemite, magby (did raise one in GSC, it sucked because it’s a baby pokemon and they suck), growlithe (never raised, but stone evolution), koffing (hm, also never raised).

Actually I should probably go with koffing.

Ooh, and koffing can learn thief! That’s nice.

Okay, into the sewers. They look sewery. I really like sewer levels. They’re a cliche for a reason.

Gary: Farla! I need you to get tougher!

I’m getting really, really sick of my rival telling me this. It’s one thing when it’s him being a dick, but the game seems to be presenting this as some sort of cooperative endevor, and fuck that.

Even I’m going to have trouble taking them on by myself…

See, this is what I mean. The only time people should say stuff about how great they are is directly before I kick their ass.

Anyway, it’s OK! I’ll take care of healing our Pokemon!

So I guess double battle style for the trip?

I was never really clear on why the game did that. They’d suddenly jack up the level of pokemon in an area, then give you a partner to keep healing your pokemon? I guess it did make things different.

And…a pair of zubat attack us.

It does not need eyes, because it emits ultrasonic waves to check its surroundings while it flies.

And a pair of rattata.

Which Failry knocks out.

I don’t get why we’re paired, honestly. The pokemon aren’t tough. All he’s accomplishing is making it impossible to catch a rattata.

Also, are there any male/female sprites where the difference isn’t that the female has a smaller feature?

And there’s some janitor guy down here, who I guess is crazy.

Some other guy won’t let me past because he’s looking for something, and what does that have to do with it? And do you really want something you lost in a sewer?

Next time: fine. To the Plasma guys I guess.