I approach the cave. And the spikey dialogue box appears.

Kawbraa!

A…uh, thing hops in front of me. It looks cute.

Kawbraa! it repeats.

Noo it runs away. I wanted to catch it!

Two people who are probably annoying come up behind. I bet it’s their fault it ran away.

Rood: That Pokemon…?
Elderly Man: it’s the legendary Pokemon called Cobalion!

Oh, cobalt lion. I get it.

I told you the story the other day, right?

Rood: Oh, Cobalion! What a noble presence!

Elderly Man: The say the three Pokemon Cobalion, Virizion, and Terrakion fought against people to protect Pokemon from the war those people started…

How’s that fit into your whole other-viewpoints-are-great thing? Also, awesome.

When people fight, there’s no peace for Pokemon, either.

You say it like it’s inevitable. It isn’t.

The three legends learned that the deeds of humans could lead to dire consequences for their world. But… Why did it show up in front of people?

Clearly as a warning it’s about to slaughter us. You go, lion thingy!

Is it patrolling the Unova region to protect Pokemon because it fears for their safety after the commotion caused by Team Plasma two years ago?

Well, for one thing, as that was two years ago I don’t see why it’d only appear now.

Or does it sense a new problem?

That’d be the obvious conclusion, yeah.

Rood: Unforgivable… So the reach of Ghetsis’s ambition and malice is growing ever wider and warping the lives of all it touches… Did Cobalion appear in front of you merely by accident? Or to plead with you to solve a problem?

Yes, this is what plot should be.

Unlike Lord N, I don’t have the ability to understand the minds of Pokemon. Therefore, I don’t know what that Pokemon is thinking. But if you can befriend Cobalion, it will be a great asset to you on your journey.

I’m going to get that? Awesome.

Okay, finally the cave.

Tynamo. Oh, well I remember you and your continual failure. At least it gets into the pokeball without fuss.

One alone can emit only a trickle of electricity, so a group of them gathers to unleash a powerful electrical shock.

At least the pokedex basically warns you they’re pathetic.

And now a klink attacks me.

Two bodies comrpise a fixed pair. They spin around each other to generate energy.

And joltik.

Since it can’t generate its own electricity, it sticks onto large-bodied Pokemon and absorbs static electricity.

Ferroseed.

It absorbs the iron it finds in the rock while clinging to the ceiling. It shoots spikes when in danger.

My flaaffy’s evolving! And learning its first decent electric move, thunderpunch.

The tip of its tail shines so brightly it can be used to send sea-navigation beacons to distant foreign shores.

And nosepass.

Its magnetic nose always faces north and draws iron objects to its body to protect itself better.

I never really got what’s up with nosepass.

A dialogue box comes up, pointing offscreen.

Chargestone Cave– I really like it here. Formulas

N? N!!!

express the forces behind electricity, its connection to Pokemon, and humans and Pokemon themselves.

Shh, N, stop talking so I can hug you.

This–this is my ideal place.

Yeah, I remember how much you liked it last game.

I have to go… I have to go in order to save Pokemon and protect the very friend that I have to stop!

??????????????

Ghetsis? Or his dragon? Or brainwashed me-from-last-game – but no, because they wouldn’t even know which gender the player was last game.

And seems he disappeared, because there’s the flying sound.

Now my servine’s evolving into serperior!

It only gives its all against strong opponents who are not fazed by the glare from Serperior’s noble eyes.

I know that’s supposed to be an arrogant thing, but it seems nice to not beat up those much weaker than you.

And now my magneton’s evolving.

Sometimes the magnetism emitted by Magnezone is too strong, making them attract each other so they cannot move.

Sort of like those deer who get their antlers tangled?

It’s currently got a special attack of almost a hundred. I don’t much like the look, though, and I have other pokemon to try out, so off it goes again.

Hey, boldore, about time I saw one of you.

When it is healthy, its core sticks out. Always facing the same way, it swiftly moves front to back and left to right.

Uh?

Right then, Relic Passage. Let’s see if my psyduck will evolve. Also, I grabbed a solosis.

Because their bodies are enveloped in a special liquid, they are fine in any environment, no matter how severe.

I’ll also try out ferroseed.

Did people really make a tunnel this long all those ages ago? No, they must have had many Pokemon helping them with the work. Or they might have been forcing the Pokemon to help…

Huh, that’s the second reference to pokemon suffering to dig stuff this game, and the third to pokemon misery. Maybe this plotline might actually be intended for once?

Gurdurr. Ugh, fine. Annoying thing also eats through the last of my greatballs.

With strengthened bodies
they skillfully wield steel beams
to take down buildings.

Huh, so they’re destructive, not constructive?

I guess it makes sense that pokemon adapting to an urban environment would begin to use manmade materials…but why do I always fight them in caves, why aren’t they running wild in the back alleys of cities?

Basculin.

Red- and blue-striped Basculin are very violent and always fighting. They are also remarkably tasty.

A reminder that it’s canon that, when not being friends, people eat pokemon.

Yes, evolution time! Psyduck, transform into…

Golduck!

When its forehead shines mysteriously, Golduck can use the full extent of its power.

Which it uses to pull out people’s intestines and eat them! Kappa, so delightful.

Hm, raticate…

With its long fangs, this surprisingly violent pokemon can gnaw away even thick concrete with ease.

“Surprisingly violent”, huh?

So hm. Currently, my golduck has most of the helpful moves – surf, strength, and dig. I could try out an oshawott, but I feel it’s best not to dip into the starters in case I want to play again. I think I’ll get that turtle.

Finally, a drilbur!

By spinning its body, it can dig straight through the ground at a speed of 30 mph.

Huh, and it links up with Relic Castle. And there’s a sunstone!

And a baltoy. Which I can’t catch because the damn things keep selfdestructing.

And…huh, there’s an overland sprite of a pokemon. Saving.

Spikey box says: Vraahhbrbrbr! Volcarona.

…at L35… Huh.

Thought to be an embodiment of the sun, it appeared during a bitterly cold winter and saved Pokemon from freezing.

My brother explains that the mighty Volcarona evolves from this larvesta you get somepoint in the endgame and have to painstakingly raise up to L70 – Bulbapedia says this is slightly overdramatized and it’s merely L59.

Anyway, this is pretty cool! Volcarona sounds suitably mythic, and makes sense as something that might get worshiped. There’s something powerful about a sun shrine hidden here beneath the sand, underground until I come to find it and take it back out.